Asking, Seeking, Knocking

Just so you know...

2012-01-25T03:13:00.001-06:00

Things are hard right now.

I'm in bad need of a job. I have been in need of a job since moving to Texas in April, and so far, every application's response has been a deafening roar of silence.

I did have a job, briefly, in August. Over the course of 3 days, I made $52.00...

Problem is I had to spend $60 to make it. So with 3 days worth of work, I made -$8.

Awesome.

God is good... but it kinda feels like not much else is right now.

I'm incredibly thankful for the blessings I have in my life, chief among them being my wonderful fiancee. I'm so grateful to have found a woman who is willing to put up with me for the rest of my life.

I'm tired of being a burden. I'd really like to be able to actually support myself... and, you know... my future wife.

Things are hard. I could really use some prayers. And, if you got it, a hook up on a job that will actually hire me in the mid-cities D/FW area.

I really just don't have a lot to say right now. I'm sure I'll be back writing soon. Winter is always hard on me. This one has proven to be no exception.

Something's gotta give, right?

Just hope it ain't me.

A Genuine Plea for Some Help

2011-12-21T19:18:00.001-06:00

Hi. I don't know if you've ever been here before, so allow me to make some preliminary introductions.

I'm Aaron Rushton, and I am a voice crying out in the wilderness, declaring the way of the Lord.

The particular wilderness I find myself in is the jam-band crowd. If you don't know what a jam-band crowd is like, imagine everything you've ever heard about Woodstock distilled into one place. It's kinda like that.

As you might have imagined, this isn't exactly the most church-going group of folks out there.

But they are still people, and they do still need Jesus, and they do definitely still need someone to talk to them about Him.

Over the past three years, God has made it plainly evident to me that I am called to be at least one person sharing the goodness of Christ with the people around me in the jam-band crowd, and specifically, in the Perpetual Groove crowd.

I've mentioned my work in the PGroove circles before. I am already accepted as "the preacher" in that crowd. I've served communion at Amberland, the band's three-day camping & music festival, for two years running. I've seen a lot of love among these people. They are definitely searching for the Truth. I've been in hard spots before in trying to reach out to this crowd. God delivered my help then, and I'm confident He'll do the same thing again now.

I'm specifically asking for help in regards to one thing: getting there.

This year, the Perpetual Groove New Year's Eve run is in Atlanta, Georgia, and I'm going with my fiancée and sister in tow. We could use a little help in the way of gas money and other expenses for the two days we'll be down there. It's not a lot, but it is more than I have. I know Christmas is a hard time of year, financially, but I'm just asking for a little bit of help - little bits add up to a big lot.

You can go to my PayPal donation page and make your donation there, any amount helps.

I realize this may sound like I'm trying to solicit donations in the name of the Lord just so I can take my girlfriend and little sister to a couple of concerts, but I assure you, this is work. This is my mission field. This is where God has asked me to make His voice heard. I can't go to concerts anymore without somebody asking me, "Hey, you're that preacher guy, right?" And that's when my night always gets interesting.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I know Mark and Lisa, who have been incredibly supportive to me as fellow lights in the darkness.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I talked to Brad until 6:00 AM last year.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I helped Jill redefine her understanding of what God has asked His church to be.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I was asked by complete strangers to perform their wedding which gave me an opportunity to present the power of God's Love to a group of people who might not have ever heard it otherwise.

There is work to be done, and I am trying my best to do it. I'd appreciate some help to get a little further down the road. God bless you.

Jesus Is Lord. RON PAUL 2012! WOO!

2011-12-19T02:30:00.002-06:00

A little under 4 years ago now, I wrote a thing (on Facebook) about what I saw at the time as a dangerous devotion to then-candidate Barack Obama in his bid for the presidency for the United States. And then, once he won that bid, I had some other thoughts (also on Facebook) about what that meant for the future of America.

The biggest thing that worried me when Obama was running for president was the rabid support he was getting, the almost cultic devotion, the pervasive attitude that when Obama became president, everything would just be better.

So when he won (which, yeah, was kinda inevitable, especially up against John McCain), I was not surprised to see the massive celebrations, the incredible overreactions (nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize after two weeks in office, won the award after eight and a half months), or the continuation of the "Obama can do no wrong" train of thought...

And then reality set in.

People thought they weren't going to have to pay taxes anymore, or deal with the financial mess our nation has been in for the past decade, or grapple with the questions of morality in a time of war.

The man is only a president, not Almighty God, reshaping reality at the merest whim.

He's only a man.

No more, no less.

So... where do I stand on all that stuff when it comes to the guy I actually want to see as the next president?

I cannot possibly overstate how much I want to see Ron Paul win the 2012 presidential election. I spend more time on his official campaign website than I do on my email. I'm constantly looking for new videos to share the message, like this hour-long documentary on the grassroots movement behind Dr. Paul, or this 13-minute discussion about US troops and their support for his foreign policy.

I hate talking about politics... unless I'm talking about Ron Paul.

But the thing that I'm worried about is falling into the same trap that I warned against in 2007 when Obama was running. Have I become a cultist? Am I just chanting the name because I'm hypnotized by the charisma?

Well... I sure don't think so... I mean, really... Watch ANY video of Ron Paul. Charisma isn't his defining trait. He's not polished, he's not rehearsed, he's not dropping sound bites... He's genuine. He's sincere. He's passionate. I just happen to think he's right.

I don't think I'd care if it was Ron Paul as president or not so long as whoever does become president will do the things he's talking about, like ending all the wars we're in, bringing all of the troops home, eliminating the IRS, ending the Federal Reserve, cutting one trillion dollars (that's $1,000,000,000,000) out of the budget in the first year, returning the powers of government to the states, strictly following the Constitution... Yeah, I'd vote for Obama if he was actually going to do that. I'd vote for Chuck E. Cheese if he was actually going to do that.

But Obama ran on closing down Guantanamo, which hasn't happened. He ran on withdrawing from Iraq and Afghanistan, which has kinda happened - we've ended official combat operations in Iraq, but we're still leaving thousands of military contractors (nice word for mercenary) over there and building the world's largest embassy to house our fake troops. He also ran on repealing the Patriot Act, which he actually extended.

I think I'll vote for the guy who has been saying the exact same thing for 30 years, because I really, really, really like what he's got to say.

So what's all this got to do with Jesus?

Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?”

But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”

“Caesar’s,” they replied.

Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”
When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.

Matthew 22:15-22

Is my vote Caesar's? Or is my vote God's? If I am to "eat or drink or whatever" to the glory of the Lord, does voting fall into the "whatever"?

I went to Harding University, a small-ish private Church of Christ affiliated school in Searcy, Arkansas. My first semester was the fall of 2001. I hadn't been in school for a full month when the 9/11 attacks hit. I can't exactly say I'm proud of the way I thought about politics back then - but I'm not proud of the way I thought about love, God, or a great deal many other things, either. I've grown up a lot in the past decade, and I find myself more willing to espouse views of international diplomacy that don't involve carpet bombing.

As I'm sure you can reasonably infer, the political climate at Harding is overwhelmingly Republican, or at least right-wing. Democrats/left-wingers were not given the fairest of shakes, largely due to a perceived approval by Democrats at Harding of such un-Christian things as abortion, gay marriage, and giving money to poor people.

Whenever discussions of politics came up (which was far more often than I'd like to admit), the inevitable question came up of how these Christian people, dear friends of mine, could vote for politicians who supported such un-Christian things. The answer I heard over and over again (although not exclusively) was that they did not vote their Christianity. I heard one professor (who I thought was a total jerk) state that he is not a Christian in the voting booth.

And that, dear reader, is MESSED. UP.

I cannot personally envision a worldview in which one can separate his or her faith from any aspect of his or her life in good conscience. If you're not a Christian in the voting booth, why would you still be a Christian at work? Or on the highway? Or in a bar?

Christianity isn't a thing you do, it's an attempt to change who you are. In following Christ, we are making strides towards being Him, allowing the Holy Spirit to change us more and more as we continue to focus on the Love of the Father for all mankind.

So am I saying that all good Christians have to vote Republican?

Holy crap, no. Not at all. Goodness. That's a horrid idea.

What I am saying, however, is that if you have to turn off the Jesus part of you to justify voting the way you want to, maybe you just shouldn't vote that way.

I'm voting for Ron Paul because he's crazy libertarian, especially compared to the rest of the GOP candidates. I like libertarianism. I believe God created us with free will, and I can't see why we'd let the government take that away.

Now... that's me. That's my view on politics through the lens of faith. I personally believe that the world (or at the very least, the United States) would be a whole lot better off if we could just get the government to leave things alone, here and abroad.

I don't know who you're planning on voting for in the 2012 election. I hope it's Ron Paul, because I genuinely believe he's the best man for the job, especially with the condition the nation is in. I also hope that I can do some small part in making you aware of who this man is and encouraging you to check out his website, watch the interviews, read up on his stance on the issues, know what he's saying and decide how you feel about it, because the mainstream media certainly isn't going out if its way to tell you anything about him - and if they do, it's only because they're telling you (or even Ron Paul himself) he has no chance of winning.

But no matter who you're voting for, if you can't reconcile your beliefs with your ballot, please, just don't vote. It's OK. If your vote is not to the glory of God at the very least in your own conscience, why on earth are you even voting? What can possibly be more important? Does it matter - in the slightest - what other people do in relation to your walk with God?

And if you already do vote your faith, I'd like to encourage you to do something I had to do in the last election. Sit down and look at everything you believe about politics. Look at what the guys you support believe. Now look at what Jesus believes.

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:34-40

Love and Love.

Bombing Pakistan (or any other country) is not Loving, in my view of Love. Locking people up for decades because of non-violent victimless crimes is not Loving. Restricting the God-given ability to make our own mistakes and learn from them is not Loving. But hey... that's just me.

I'm not questioning anything about where my priorities lie. Jesus is still Hombre numero uno in mi corazon. But hot skippity dang if Ron Paul ain't just a fascinating man. I want him to be the next President of the United States. I want that to be a thing that is.

But should I really even care? After all... "This world is not my home, I'm just a-passing through..."

Talk to me, people.

My Fiancée Listens to Horrible Music

2011-11-08T20:39:00.001-06:00

OK, I know I'm kind of a music snob...

But seriously, my fiancée - my wonderful, sweet, beautiful, loving fiancée - listens to some terrible music.

And here's the thing - she KNOWS it's bad! She will freely admit to it! Without defense or pretense! She chooses to listen to awful music.

And it's not like everything she listens to is bad...

But really, one Justin Beiber song is bad enough, right? Throw the Spice Girls, Katy Perry, and Britney Spears on top of it, and man... Part of me wonders why I'm even dating this girl.

But then, a part of me also wonders why I didn't get super powers last week when I put a spider in the microwave and taunted it into biting me, so I guess it's perfectly OK for me to ignore some of these things that go through my head...

So the music snob in me is fighting with the good boyfriend in me. The good boyfriend wants to just let her listen to her stuff, even when she turns to me and says, "You are probably going to hate this, but I like it, so, whatever..." But the music snob is tempted to always carry my iPod and completely dominate the listening choices, making sure she is at least exposed to all the (objectively awesome, of course) music that I listen to, which she can't help but like, because, you know... it's actually good.

I mean, really... How could someone NOT enjoy a 20-minute-plus prog rock instrumental freakout? Come on.

Lest anyone reading this take me far too seriously here, let me spell this out: I realize that I am not the arbiter of good taste, but again... even SHE says it's bad music.

So why listen to it?

Annie and I listen to music very differently. There is a growing area of overlap. She's introducing me to things I'm enjoying (Seryn, for instance, is definitely a winner), and I'm indoctrinating her with things I listen to (she really likes the select Yes songs I've played for her, which is only natural, because, you know... it's Yes and they're awesome), and we're just enjoying each other's company.

But man... The known-to-be-bad music... That's... wow.

I'll admit to having some awful music in my collection... Starship's "We Built This City," for instance. That song is the worst. But I have it. Sometimes I use it as a weapon, sometimes it just gets stuck in my head and the only way I can get it out is to listen to the whole awful, stupid, bad thing. It's an earworm, and can only be extracted through a painful process.

And yet... somehow... I love her. Not like it makes me some noble prince or anything for being able to look past Beiber, but it really is a challenge. It's my own hangup.

Annie has flaws other than her musical taste. Right now, I wouldn't be able to tell you what they are, but I'm confident that they do exist. In my love for her, I find myself looking past the mistakes and seeing the beauty of who she is.

I need to get better at doing that for everybody else, too.

I fully realize that there's a difference between liking people and loving people. I've even written about that before, to some extent. But I've also got to say (to remind myself) that not liking someone is no excuse for not loving them.

It's easy for me to love Annie - she's my fiancée. I want her to be around. I want to be nice to her. She makes me happy. I want to make her happy. It's a mutual joy for us to simply be around each other. So in that, I find myself willing to overlook things like horrible, horrible, horrible music.

But what about the folks in my life who I don't find it as easy to love? There are definitely people God put in my life who pretty well get on just about all the nerves I've got... But they still deserve to be loved, right?

Is it the most loving thing to do, telling someone, "Hey, every time you open your mouth, I wish that you were doing the exact opposite of that"? I don't think so...

But should I lie?

"Can't help about the shape I'm in,
I can't sing, I ain't pretty, and my legs are thin...
But don't ask me what I think of you,
I might not give the answer that you want me to..."

- Fleetwood Mac, "Oh Well"

I don't have an answer for that. At all.

There are people in my life who I find it extraordinarily difficult to deal with, just on a personal basis. I have made LEAPS and BOUNDS in the past three years towards not being the genuine thoroughbred asshole I once was, but occasionally it comes out.

And I don't have any idea why.

I have been called to the Love of Christ in all that I do. I am a slave to the Gospel, and the Gospel is Love. Love is my one single task.

And I have found in Annie Newhouse a person who has done nothing but encourage me to Love others around me better.

I have found a girl who Loves God way more than she loves me, but still loves me way more than I was ready for. I have been reading through Ephesians 5 a whole lot lately, really thinking about the parallels Paul makes between Christ's Love for the church and a husband's love for his wife. I have learned a lot about what it means to Love a church in the past six months... and I want to Love Annie like that. I want to know what it is to Love someone else by dying to myself, by seeking only her best, laying my life down entirely for her.

I want to be Christ in this world to those who meet me, and I want to learn how to Love them as Christ loves them by learning what the love for my wife should be, and I want to learn that with Annie.

I love you, Annie.

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Thank you for saying yes.

Grapes to Raisins

2011-10-05T21:31:00.004-05:00

Since a fairly young age I have had one idea for a tattoo: a bunch of grapes, so once I'm all wrinkled, it'll be a bunch of raisins and still make sense as a tattoo.

I must admit that the idea of a tattoo has started to dig a little deeper than that.

The biggest thing about tattoos - and you can't have the discussion without this coming up - is that they're THERE FOR A WHILE, which has constantly been the largest roadblock in my mind towards ever getting one. I've never had an idea (other than the grapes) that I really thought was worth having on me as long as there is a me for it to be on.

I already believe that tattoos say a lot about the person who wears them. If your tattoo says "PARTY NAKIT", that's broadcasting a completely different message than, say, a wedding band that will never fall off or get lost.

So what do I want to say about myself forever? Who do I want to say it to? Who don't I need to say it to? How much can I say? What is worth saying?

If I'm gonna put it on myself, it's gonna have to be... man, it's gonna have to be BIG. It's gonna have to be something that makes the first slide of a Power Point about me. I mean, I really like Twinkies, but it seems that might be a dumb message to communicate to people across the room at all times. I would like to make sure that I'm saying something that's worth saying. Even with as much as I totally dig on Led Zeppelin, I don't feel like that's something crying out to be broadcast on an epidermal frequency.

But there ARE things that I want to say, and the thing about saying them with tattoos is that it seems to be a connection into another subset of the world that a lot of people in Christian circles are uncomfortable reaching out to. This could just be a reflection of my own experience, who knows, but it seems that I've run across a lot of negative attitudes and judgmental thinking towards those who choose to decorate themselves with tattoos. Is it just because of the single reference against tattoos found in the Bible (Leviticus 19:28)? Or is it because of the association between tattoos and the counterculture?

Jesus strikes me as a remarkably countercultural figure. I can only hope to be even a fraction of what He was, and I especially feel called to go out to the ones Jesus specifically stated He was called to - the tax collectors and sinners, the "sick", not the healthy.

There's a lot of power in tattoos, especially among those who actually have tattoos. Every tattoo - whether a good decision or not - represents something that the person who wears it thought (at least at one point) to be worth saying forever.

Is it worth saying that I am completely sold to following my God through His Son, listening to His Spirit? Can I put that out there? Is that allowed?

I don't even know if I'll ever wind up getting a tattoo. I've been thinking about it, and I've got a couple ideas... but the only reason I'd even get it is to bear witness to those in the darkness who don't know that there is a better way. If I can show someone how worthwhile my faith is for me, maybe that will lead to a conversation that changes things for them.

Who knows, maybe I should just get the entire text of Mere Christianity on my bicep.

(OK, that might be a little small... Definitely more room on my stomach...)

Birthday Fruit Check

2011-09-30T16:54:00.000-05:00

OK, so... I'm 28 today. That's a thing.

I did manage to survive being 27. That's something that Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse did not accomplish... I would like to believe that this is related in at least a few ways to my decision to make non-heroin life choices.

Well... OK, that's unfair to Robert Johnson. But man, that guy's life was so hard, being let go at 27 was a commutation of his sentence in view of time served.

I am definitely not the same dude I was a year ago. I believe I'm a better guy. I'm going to go ahead and chalk all the credit for that up to God, because He knows better than I do that I didn't do it on my own.

Over the past year, I have found myself growing more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. In case you missed what I was doing there, those are the fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23.

Now... I did not choose to be those things. I wanted to be those things, sure, but I did not set out to do those things. I set out to follow God more closely. I chose to submit to His Will. I chose to model my life on the example and teachings of Jesus. I made room for the Holy Spirit in my life, and - whaddya know - it made an extraordinary difference.

I don't know where you're at with the Holy Spirit. Growing up in the Church of Christ, even with the parents that I have, I didn't hear much about it. Mom and Dad definitely talked about it more than anyone at church ever did. There was always this vague idea floating around (thanks to some disgustingly bad understandings of I Corinthians 13) that the Holy Spirit only exists (currently) within the pages of the Bible.

THAT IS REALLY DUMB THEOLOGY.

The Holy Spirit is a part of God. It is, in fact, the Spirit of God Himself. Hence the "Holy" part. God is eternal. Any one part of eternity is still an eternal thing. So the Spirit is just as eternal as God Himself.

If we say that the Spirit is in the Bible itself, then the Bible is on par with God. That ain't cutting it. If we say, however, that the Spirit merely interacts with us through the Bible, then we are saying things that the Bible does not say about the Spirit.

Jesus makes it perfectly clear that the Spirit would allow His disciples to not only understand all of His teachings, but also enable them and embolden them to actually carry out His work on earth. I try to live my life by the basic guideline that Jesus knew what He was talking about, so I'm thinking that the Spirit just might still be active in the world today. Hope you're with me on that one.

But I think so many people miss the work of the Spirit in their own lives because they're so focused on the fruit thereof... instead of the Spirit itself.

If I nail an apple to a pine tree, that doesn't make it an apple tree, does it?

So why do so many people seem to believe that we can simply choose to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, etc... and call it a day on getting the fruits of the Spirit into our lives?

The thing is that while, yes, we can make choices that move us towards being better people, one of the key choices we have to make is completely tied up in whether or not we actually have the ability to do anything good for ourselves.

As I mentioned in the last post, there are some pretty substantial points to be picked up from an understanding of the nature of God, and how that nature reflects on the Love that God has shown us so richly.

The Spirit is God. God is Love. The Spirit is Love. The Spirit dwelling in us is Love dwelling in us.

But is it showing up?

I can't check your life, I can only look at mine... which is what I've been doing a lot of lately. I've been looking to see if those fruits have shown up in my life, and I believe they have. I believe, fully, that the Holy Spirit has managed to get through my thick skull in a few places and transform me into a better dude, which is pretty solid all around, if you ask me.

So many people have an end-times-only view of Christianity. They're convinced that the only good of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus was our redemption, so we can get to Heaven when we die.

Here's the thing... I don't know when I'm gonna die, but I do know that I ain't dead yet, so the Heaven bits don't do me a ton of good right now. I also know that before He died, Jesus sure had a whole dang lot of stuff to say about the way we live.

The transformative powers of the Gospel are not limited to the eternal, but reach out to the temporal, as well. This world can be better. This life can be easier. Love can be stronger. We just have to accept that as reality and furthermore understand that the only way it ever will actually happen is through the direct involvement of God Himself... in the form of His Spirit coming down and showing us how to live.

The Spirit is definitely the part of the Trinity that confuses people the most. Some people are so confused by it that they refuse to accept the possibility of it even existing or working in our lives today, and that's a bummer, because I'd hate to believe that I don't serve an active, living God. Otherwise, what's the point?

Aren't we to a place where we can actually trust God when He says He'll do a thing?

I mean, He at least worked out some good in me... That's gotta count for something, right?

Some thoughts about the Trinity

2011-09-28T20:38:00.000-05:00

I'm assuming that you're familiar with the concept of the Trinity. Father, Son, Spirit... Individual aspects of God, yet all God. Three distinct facets of one eternal constant.

So let's talk about that.

God is Love, right?

So the Father is Love, the Son is Love, the Spirit is Love... God is Love, God is Love, God is Love...

Jesus, the Son, lived a life without sin. Jesus is God is Love. A life of the Love of God is a life without sin.

Jesus, who is God, tells us that the greatest commandments, the two principles upon which the entirety of the rest of the Bible is founded, are to Love God with everything in ourselves and to Love Others as ourselves.

So Jesus Loves God with all of His heart, soul, and mind, yes?

And Jesus also Loves His neighbor as Himself, right?

And Himself is God, right?

Jesus, therefore, Loves His neighbor as He Loves God.

Jesus' Love for God = Jesus' Love for not-God

Is that even possible? Can the Son Love us as much as He Loves the Father? Would that mean that the Son worships us?

Or does Love of God carry with it understandings of the difference between God and not-God?

God is Holy. God is Good. God is Eternal.

We're... not.

But I Love my mom, I Love my sister, I Love (the woman that prayerfully one day will be my wife should that be in God's plan for me), I Love the women I go to church with, I Love my female friends... and I Love them all very differently.

I don't Love every woman I see like she's my mom. My mom is the only mom who gets to be called my mom, and nothing can ever change that relationship because of its very defined nature. My mom is my mom. No one else is my mom, so I don't act like anyone else is my mom.

So does Jesus feel the same way about us and God the Father?

God the Father is the only one who is God the Father. The exclusivity of His nature necessitates a proper response from appropriate Love for Him. That response is called worship. God is way bigger than we are. God deserves worship. That's what Love for God is. Loving God specifically demands worship because of a recognition that God, in His defined nature, is the sole claimant to the "worthy of worship" title.

Loving God for being God is worshiping God.

Loving me for being me is most assuredly not worshiping me.

But if God Loves me the same way He Loves you...

And if I am supposed to Love you the same way He Loves me...

Then am I supposed to Love you the same way I Love God? Or even Love God the same way I Love you?

I don't know how many of you care about these things or ever even think of them, but this is what my brain swirls around 90% of the time.

Back to that greatest commandments thing. Jesus tells us to Love God with everything in us and Love our neighbors as though they were us.

And now think about this.

Jesus, the Son, Loves the Father. The Son also Loves the Spirit, which is His own Spirit. So in the perfection of holiness of the Trinity, we find that the Son Loves God and His neighbor, the Spirit, as He Loves Himself... ALSO GOD.

Now... I realize that we're not Jesus. But we are supposed to be as like Him as we possibly can, right?

So maybe we should all just be super crazy on the Love for everybody and God.

I hope I'm making sense. I wrote most of this at 3AM. It's just a thing I've had going through my head. Tell me if I'm wrong.

A Conversation I'm Having With Myself

2011-09-14T02:36:00.000-05:00

I wonder where I stand in God's eyes. How am I doing?

Am I doing the best I can?

Yes...

...but?

I'm not doing the best I could.

Ah. I see where the concern comes in. But let me ask me this. Am I intentionally doing less than the best I know how to do at this point in my life, with the tools I have at my disposal?

No...

So I'm trying to Love God with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength?

Yeah...

And I'm trying my best to Love Others as I Love myself, seeking what is the best for the most people instead of just for me?

Umm... Yes?

My confidence is overwhelming.

Right, yeah, I... I think I'm doing that? I'm at least TRYING to do that... But the thing is I just... ugh. I'm just so bad at it. Very bad. Just... Dude. I am not good at that thing.

Hey, come on... I'm not... umm... awful. I'm not... like... OK, I haven't killed anybody. That's pretty good.

Right, but can I really be content with just not being so bad that I have to go to jail? I'm already borderline homeless. Jail would kinda be a step up. Three hots and a cot, man. Can't argue with that.

Point granted.

But I already know that "not bad" isn't good enough. Following Christ is not about just not being bad, it is about actively being good. It is about self-sacrificial, holy, outward-moving Love. And I'm not great at that.

Am I so sure of that, though? Obviously not everybody on this planet thinks I'm a total jerk.

Well, sure, but that's just because not everybody on the planet has been burdened with the knowledge that I exist.

Oh, come on... I'm not that bad.

Easy for me to say.

Look... I've got a hugely supportive family, I'm obviously very loved by a whole lot of people who aren't even related to me, I've got a lot of friends who would take a bullet for me... I've made a positive impact on at least a few people's lives or else nobody would give me the time of day, much less house me and feed me.

I... have a point.

It's pretty useless arguing with me.

But look at me! I'm a failure. Nothing is going the way it's supposed to.

How are things "supposed to" go, then?

Well... Alright, look, don't get smart. But seriously, I don't have a job --

Wrong. I don't have an income. I have a job. I am doing the job God asked me to do by reaching out to the people He has placed in my life. I've definitely made an impact on those people's lives.

Sure, but Mussolini made an impact on Italy. Doesn't mean it was good.

I'm surely not comparing myself to a fascist dictator, am I? Come on.

No, but look, man... Maybe I'm in the spot I'm in because I've just made so many dumb choices over the last decade that I've lost all context of what a good life is even supposed to be like.

Well, maybe... But maybe I was led here. Maybe I'm in a position where I can reach out to people that others can't, or don't, or won't. Maybe God wants me living the life I'm living because it puts me in a position to reach His lost sheep.

Ugh. Man. Maybe... I dunno. I just feel like I've got to be making some huge mistake that I just can't see yet.

Well... Yeah. I am. I'm still human. I'm not going to be not making at least one huge mistake until I become something else. God is refining me. Am I strong enough to endure the fire?

How do I know God is refining me in the first place? How do I know this fire isn't God telling me I should go somewhere that isn't on fire?

Didn't Jesus say that those who follow Him would suffer for Him?

Well, yeah, but isn't every other verse in the book of Proverbs about how fools destroy themselves and think they're doing the right thing? Am I in the spot I'm in because I've chosen to trust God for all I need, or is it just because I'm an idiot?

God makes the wisdom of the world foolishness. All of the Apostles but John met violent deaths, and John died an old man in exile. Do I think they had the reliable material comforts that I'm really whining about?

No, but that whole "Hey, my shadow touched a lame guy and now he can walk" kind of thing is a pretty solid indicator that God is a fan of what a dude is doing. I can't claim that.

No, because that's not my story. I'm not there. I'm here. I have to be what God asked me to be, not what He asked other people to be.

Yeah... Man. I hate it when I'm right.

I know, it's hard, but hey, I'm not the only one who deals with that problem. Tons of people hate it when I'm right, apparently...

Will it ever get better?

Of course!

OK, yeah... Will it ever get better in this lifetime?

Don't look at me! How am I supposed to know? But does it really matter if my life gets better? Isn't it about me getting better? Isn't it about my relationship with God getting better? Isn't it about the world getting better? God never said I'd have a reliable car, a fully stocked fridge, and my very own key to my very own place.

And it's getting hot again, too...

Now I'm not even making a point, I'm just whining.

Yeah, I'm right... sorry.

It's OK.

But seriously, how do I know if I'm doing the right thing?

What am I trying to do?

Reach the lost. Specifically, those that most folks can't, won't, haven't, don't... Whatever. I'm trying to be the doctor going to the sick, not to the healthy.

And what is the point of everything in Luke 15?

...wow, yeah...

So do I think I'm doing something God wants somebody down here to do?

Yeah.

Do I think He's equipped me to do that task?

...yyyyyesssss?

Come on. On May 28, 2011, I performed a wedding at a concert festival for two people I'd never met. In a crowd that is not used to having people around who identify themselves as a preacher, everybody who knows me knows me specifically as the preacher. Even guys in the bands that played the festival know I'm a preacher. I am making an impact, dude. That was a victory. I read some Truth to some people who might not hear it very often. Love was the message, man, and the people responded.

Yeah... Yeah, they did... That was pretty awesome...

Totally awesome! Incredibly awesome! Wicked awesome!

But what about when I'm not at Amberland? I mean, that's... that's kind of its own thing, man... I can't expect every day life to be like Amberland.

No, but I can still treat people like I treat them at Amberland. I already know I love everybody at Amberland, right?

Right...

And where does that get me?

Uhh... Some pretty awesome places, really...

Exactly! And how do I feel about my ministry when I'm in the PGroove crowd?

Pretty, uhh... pretty groovy, man...

Right on, brother. So just treat everybody that way. Love them all. Be honest about who I am and what God has done for me. Be bold in my Love for them, and be bold about how important God is in my life.

But is everybody else ready for the same "ministry style" I have in that world?

Not at all... but am I even called to minister to everybody else in the first place?

I... I guess not...

Right. So don't sweat it. The people I am sent to will be the ones who respond. The ones I wasn't sent to will either take it and benefit from it or toss it out completely. Even Jesus was sent to a specific crowd to do His thing.

Right... Man. Jesus. What a guy, right?

Totally.

Wow. What a guy.

So are we good?

Well... For now... Yeah, I guess...

I'll take what I can get.

A Toast to a Bro

2011-09-01T02:11:00.002-05:00

I would like to tell you about my friend and Brother Chris Cochran.

This handsome chap in the kilt is a king among ants.

I have known Chris Cochran to carry 5 packs of cigarettes with him at all times.

I have seen Chris drink every bit as much as I drink, if not more... And folks, I can drink a lot. Chris is a wee man. He's - MAYBE - a third my size.

(I didn't say he held it as well as I do, though...)

(I've seen him pretty drunk, is what I'm saying.)

And lest you think that I'm performing a character assasination on my friend, let me assure you that I am writing about Chris for the simple fact that I realize that not everybody can actually meet him and know him the way I do, but I wish that everybody could, because my goodness, is he an awesome guy.

Ever since I left Searcy in 2009, Chris's place, whever it has been throughout the past few years, has always been the place to be. Not just for me, but for everybody. When class or work was over, everybody showed up at Chris's place.

Whether it was for Twilight Zone Thursdays (it was Thursdays, right?), or just for a smoke, a beer, and some time with the boys, it was where you went.

I've never been to "Chris's place" when it was just Chris's place. Chris has always had roommates, and he definitely didn't aim to cause trouble with them, but if you needed a couch, Chris had two, plus the air mattress if you'd rather sleep on that. If you hadn't had a beer in a while, Chris would wet your whistle. If you hadn't had a bite to eat, Chris was already pulling something out of the fridge for you.

I was at Chris's once when Chris was not - this is just how Chris lives his life, he never knows who will be in his house once he gets there, but he is never upset to see that you are in his house - but Freddie and Dave were, along with a few other guys. When Chris came in, arms laden from a trip to Walmart, his eyes met Freddie's.

"Oh, good, you're here!"

Chris set a bag down and picked through another until he pulled out a 12 pack of really nice toilet paper, which he chucked to Freddie.

"Now, STOP stealin' my damn TOILET PAPER!"

Freddie laughed, I laughed, Dave laughed, Chris laughed... not quite as much as we did...

They weren't stealing Chris's paper to mess with him - they were out of toilet paper! Often! And too negligent to buy more!

And what does Chris Cochran, this... oh, this SHINING example of nicotine-stained vodka-soaked Love... what does this AMAZING man do?

HE GIVES THEM TOILET PAPER.

AND NOT A SMALL AMOUNT OF IT.

That is awesome. This dude rules at life.

Let me drop some more truth on you. Here's the contents of a text message conversation between myself and Chris:

Me - "Just F your I... Corwin and I will be rolling in late tomorrow night."

Chris - "Yeah since it seems there was some miscommunication, I'm already in vermont..."

Me - "When do you get back?"

Chris - "Not till after you leave I'd guess. Next thursday."

Me - "Well... Shit. We still love you. October? Or are you coming to Frank Turner?"

Chris - "We will see. Money is tight with loan payments."

Me - "I hear you."

Chris - "Life is life. Make sure my boys give you the treatment you deserve and I'll repay them."

Chris (six minutes later) - "Cause I'll be damned if my missionaries don't get their vacation."

IS THAT A DUDE, OR IS THAT A DUDE?

Chris Cochran introduced me to Frank Turner. Chris Cochran is a dude that loves the music of Frank Turner. You should listen to Frank Turner. Frank Turner is playing in Dallas in early October. I know Chris Cochran well enough to know pretty well where seeing Frank Turner live in concert ranks on his list of life priorities. The dude does not know if he will make it to see Frank Turner.

But look at the NEXT THING HE SAYS!!! THE VERY NEXT THOUGHT HE COMMUNICATES!!!

The dude is not even going to be in town when we visit and he insists that our desires are met at his expense.

The guy is in some straits with the money, on a different side of the country from us, not even gonna maybe get to catch us KINDA, and he will not hear of me and Corwin going without.

My GOODNESS, what a dude that is.

I know some generous folks. I have been crazy blessed by the people in my life here in Arlington, and a lot of those people are definitely on the list of reasons why I can say with absolute surety and certainty that God has called me to work here.

But even still, I wish everybody could see the insane GOODNESS in a dude like Chris Cochran, and be more like THAT.

He's not gonna call me a liar for saying that he spent a good part of his recent years as an angry little man who drank a lot of his problems into temporary submission, and then when the drinking caused problems, he drank those problems into submission as well.

But that's all past-tense, folks.

God has moved in this man. God has accomplished wonders with his life. God has BLESSED him.

The dude would not only give you the shirt off his back, he'd give me three shirts off of his floor to sew together into something I could maybe wear.

That guy? With all the different cigarettes and the crankiness and the iron liver? He is absolutely one of the most loving dudes I have ever met, and I pray that I can be more like him as he tries to be more like Christ.

Looking Back and Wondering

2011-08-21T00:28:00.000-05:00

I am often mystified by people who say they have no regrets in life, as I've normally managed to regret at least one thing before I brush my teeth in the morning.

There's this song by Led Zeppelin, "Ten Years Gone", that speaks to a situation that I'm finding myself in at the moment. The lyrics are absolutely beautiful, as is the melody itself. The story behind the song goes something like this: there was a woman with whom Robert Plant, vocalist for Led Zeppelin, had a very serious relationship during his early years as a musician. The two were by all accounts very much in love, but she felt that she was in second place to his musical career. So there came a point at which she said "the music or me" and Plant chose music. "Ten Years Gone" is a reflection on that choice.

Changes fill my time, baby, that's alright with me
In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be

I can't speak for Robert Plant (although I would absolutely love to simply speak with Robert Plant), but it seems that he felt, in the writing of this song, that he had made the right choice in pursuing his music. But there's still that looking back. There's still that longing. There's still that lingering question of what could have been.

Man, can I relate to that.

I think about the churches in California and Oregon and Alabama and Tennessee and everywhere else I applied... and I wonder what could have happened.

I think about all the friendships I've had, all the connections I've made with people, all the lives that have impacted mine... and I wonder if I made a positive difference.

I generally try my best to avoid thinking about all the girls who have come into my life that wound up leaving it... but I wind up tearing open old scars, revisiting my past heartbreak in sadistic attempts to answer questions that are miles beyond my scope.

Is this why Paul admonishes us to forget that which is behind and focus only on that which is ahead? Is there anything good to be gained from looking back and asking those questions?

There were good reasons for me to come to Texas. I still feel that I made the right choice in moving here, even though almost nothing has gone the way it was "supposed to." Does that mean that I never look back to Tennessee and the people in it? Goodness, no.

I wonder about the cost of discipleship. I wonder if I'm paying it. I wonder if I'm just making things harder on myself than they have to be.

I don't blame God for things not being the way I want them to be... but I definitely do wonder why He didn't just do me a solid and rearrange the universe to suit my every whim, I'll tell you that much...

The biggest problem that I face in my ministry is one of basic reflection. I constantly find myself in situations where I am having to tell people the last thing that I want to hear.

"Material things won't actually make you happy, you know..." Oh, shut up, Aaron! What do you know? Material things are AWESOME!

"Being right isn't the most important thing in the world." Balderdash! Poppycock! Rubbish!

"You don't have to be married with kids in order to live a meaningful life." I WILL CUT OUT YOUR LYING TONGUE IF YOU CONTINUE TO SPEAK SUCH FILTH!

"What are you complaining about? You are alive to see another day, you have food in your stomach, a bed to sleep on, and God loves you. Is that somehow not enough?" No! It isn't! I don't have every little minute thing I want! The universe does not bend to my every whim! I'm temporarily inconvenienced by the fact that I am not an eternal being and can't see what's coming down the pike! I am not, at this moment, drowning in waves of ecstasy! My life isn't going EXACTLY the way I want it to!

I wish I was still naive enough to believe my own bull. I wish I could honestly claim the sense of entitlement that every bit of my selfishness wants. But instead, my rational side prevails, and I'm realizing that sometimes I just have to put up with the stuff that I don't want. I don't know why I'm fighting the fact that I won't always get what I want. I don't know why I can't just accept that things are the way they are, whether I gave them permission to be that way or not.

I wish I had the strength of will to get RRR out of my head. I wish I could give up and stay that way. I wish I could be honest enough with myself to accept that some things are just completely beyond my power. I wish I could focus on today. I wish I could just let go of my life and trust God while I do my best to follow Him. I wish I wasn't so angsty. I wish I could just stop thinking about all the things I would say if I could say them, the things I would do if I could do them, the places I would go if I could go there... I wish I could just learn to accept what I've got, not looking back, not wanting more, not trying to control it all...

I wish I could die to myself and live exclusively for Him. THAT would be awesome.

What does it feel like to be Earl Bingham?

2011-08-18T17:16:00.001-05:00

Earl Bingham chews toothpicks by the handful and spits out scale replicas of the Alamo.

Earl Bingham, able harming, heal am bring.

Earl Bingham met his wife, Connie, when he rescued her from the clutches of Shanghai crime boss Lao Che, only to find theirselves and their 11-year-old comic relief Short Round embroiled in adventure with the the evil high priest Mola Ram and his Thuggee cult at Pankot Palace.

If you place a phonograph needle into the groove of Earl Bingham's right-hand thumbprint, you will hear a stereo recording of AC/DC's 1978 album Powerage.

Earl Bingham meets all state and federal standards.

Earl Bingham once ate a grilled cheese sandwich made with bread from all the wheat produced by the state of North Dakota and all the cheese produced by the state of Wisconsin in one year. Earl finished the sandwich in four days.

Earl Bingham does NOT choose Pikachu.

Earl Bingham wins carnival games on his first attempt.

Earl Bingham convinced the Artist (then) formerly (and once again) known as Prince that the "symbol idea had gone on long enough, and really, bud, it was just silly to begin with."

Earl Bingham knows, at all times, the exact location of his car keys. In 1984, a group of scientists from MIT tested the extent of Earl's abilities by making five copies of his keys, and shipping each key to a different continent. Earl, after a week of sensory deprivation and mild sedation, could provide details of each key's location, from latitude and longitude in exact degrees, minutes, and seconds to the color of the couch cushion they were under.

Earl Bingham is the secret president.

Earl Bingham can detect 10W-30 motor oil at one part per billion from a distance of 10 miles.

Earl Bingham was the first person to ever say, "See you later, alligator."

But more importantly, Earl Bingham replaced my alternator and bought me dinner yesterday.

What does it feel like to be holy? God calls us to holiness. God never said "Be moral, as I am moral." He wants us to be holy. But what is holiness like? How do we know it when we get there?

I often struggle with the difference between doing "the right thing" and "not the worst thing." I have no shortage of personal shortcomings, and most of my closest friends will be the quickest to list them for you (or me, as the case may be). But I really do at least try to make choices that are motivated by Love for God and Love for Others.

There is no bigger obstacle to my pursuit of holiness than myself. I find that it is downright difficult to quit an addiction to the self. I find it even harder to actually recognize selfishness in all its true forms.

Is it selfish for me to rack up a $80 bar tab when Corwin and I are sharing what extremely little funds we have? Yes, absolutely. That one's easy. (I have not done this.)

Is it selfish for me to insist that I'm the right guy, even when another has very definitely been chosen? Ummm... Let me get back to you on that... I need some more time to sulk and pout. (How am I NOT the right guy? I turned her on to the Beatles, for cryin' out loud... Starting with Revolver, no less! That is a matter of COSMIC import! And yet I am somehow NOT the guy?)

What's the holy way to handle that?

Is it holy to go out of your way to help a dude out by replacing his alternator? Oh, goodness... I certainly think so... Throw a couple burgers and a big ol' Coke on top of it... Mercy. I'm ready to make the man a saint.

Like I said - we're not called to be moral, we're called to be holy. If we were called to be moral, it'd be a whole lot easier. Just "not being bad" is a lot easier than proactively being so good I exhibit the goodness that can only come from God.

There is an enormous difference between improving the situation and just keeping it from getting worse. I would like to be improving the world's situation with every step I take.

Earl Bingham definitely made my life a whole lot easier yesterday with a one-two punch of bein' an awesome dude. Dinner AND reliable transportation? The man fed me AND fixed my car?

Goodness. Holiness, even.

I want to be less of myself. I want to be less of the arrogant, lustful, greedy, lazy, pessimistic, hopeless, angry, manipulative, sad-sack of a man that I am when I just let myself be myself. I want to be more like Earl Bingham. Dude fixed my car and then iced that cake with cheeseburgers.

I want to make people's lives better. I want to be a blessing, not a curse. I want to show everybody the Love that I have been shown.

I just want to be holy.

The Thing about Beer Commercials

2011-08-10T20:31:00.001-05:00

Do you remember the "Real Men of Genius" commercials from Bud Light? Back before 9/11, they were the "Real American Heroes." Take a look at Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer.

Hilarious, n'est-ce pas?

But here's the terribly unfortunate snag: BUD LIGHT IS HORRIBLE BEER.

All of the defenses for Bud Light (as well as Coors Light, Miller Lite, Keystone Light, Natty Light, etc...) are pretty much the same: it's cold, it's chuggable, and it's cheap. So for a few bucks and minimal commitment, you can get yourself to a state of illegal-to-drive-ness pretty quick and easy.

And if all you want is to just get yourself hammered, hey, yeah, go ahead, grab a 30 of whatever awful concoction you find lurking in the back of the cooler at the 7-Eleven and just go to town. Puke your guts out for all I care. Bad beer leads to bad things.

And I realize that taste is a subjective thing, and that you might enjoy terrible beers like the ones I've listed, but the thing that you've absolutely got to understand is that they're still terrible beers. Just because you like the taste of terrible beer doesn't mean the beer isn't terrible.

There are billboards throughout the eastern part of Arkansas - the rice-growing parts - proudly stating that Budweiser and Bud Light are brewed with Arkansas-grown rice.

Wait... Rice? In beer?

Isn't it supposed to be a beverage of malted barley and/or wheat? Since when has rice been a part of the equation?

Oh, right, since companies wanted to start making cheaper beer by using ingredients that still produce the alcohol necessary to get you drunk but without any of the troublesome work of making the beer taste good.

But hey... They got some awesome commercials, right?

On the other hand, I have never seen a commercial for Hoegaarden, one of my favorite beers. It's just delicious. It's what beer ought to be - tasty. Tasty and, you know... not made with rice. Yay for wheat beer. Exellent with a squirt of lemon.

But what about people who have never had anything other than terrible beer? What do we do with these poor souls? How do you show them that there's something better? Can you do anything other than just pour one?

I look at beer and I see churches.

I see churches that have these amazing programs designed to get people into the door, enormous undertakings to get the church name recognition in the community, big trips to get the kids excited about coming to church...

But once you get there, it's just another batch of the same watered-down swill everywhere else. It's been comprimised in the name of making it easier, cheaper... lamer.

I've found myself in more and more situations recently where I've had to clarify my stance on denominationalism (it stinks) and explain to people that all I'm trying to do is follow Jesus. I'm not trying to follow Him the way Martin Luther said to follow Him, nor Alexander Campbell, nor Billy Graham, nor Pope Bocephus the Awesome XII.

(He was a pope, right?)

And I cannot help but see that there are so many things that so many other people in so many other churches get so hung up on because they're trying to filter Jesus through everything else they've ever been told instead of trying to filter everything else through Jesus.

When you make beer with things that aren't supposed to be in beer, you get terrible beer. (Or Dogfish Head.)

When you make Christianity with things other than what Jesus said, you get... well, you get every problem people have ever had with Christianity.

Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Love others as you Love yourself.

THAT'S IT.

There are no more ingredients involved in this recipe. There are no more pieces to the puzzle. There are no more Legos necessary for this spaceship. This is it. This is all it's about. Everything else - EVERYTHING. ELSE. - falls into one or both of those two categories, and those two categories fall into each other. Love for God is carried out in Love for others, and Love to others is Love for God. That's BIBLE. Matthew 22. The epistle of James. Everything written by John.

I could go on, but I really hope you catch what I'm slinging here.

The conundrum is that I don't know of any better way to show people what Jesus was actually trying to teach than by doing it. That has certainly been the most effective tactic for me thus far. But it is definitely difficult facing up against a wall of tradition, especially when that tradition is broken.

I've seen what the world outside thinks of church. It's not good. It's a picture filled with judgmental thinking, slavish dedication to rules, and an eagerness to divide things into an "us vs. them" mentaility. That is all completely opposed to what Jesus taught.

Jesus taught universal love and acceptance. Does sin exist in Jesus's worldview? Absolutely. But the chiefest sin is to use God as a reason to oppress people.

Jesus came to free us from the Law. But today's churches have inisisted that our freedom from the Law is apparently only freedom from dietary restrictions. So many Christians live out their faith in a strict legalism instead of the open, free, Spirit-led walk that it was meant to be. Are there rules in Christianity? Yes, absolutely, and here they are: Love God, Love Others. Done. End of story. If you can drink a beer and still Love God and Love Others, then by all means, go ahead and enjoy your beer. If you can't, then by all means, don't. But just because you can't doesn't mean anybody else shouldn't.

Jesus came to unite the world. We are not meant to live as nation versus nation, or denomination versus denomination. We are meant to be united in our Love for God and for our fellow man. That's the point. The people who go to a different church are still going to church, and Jesus said that's OK. The people who don't go to church at all need to be shown the Love of God that compels them to join others in a church, they don't need to be guilted into attending a building.

I have said a lot of these things before, but they just keep coming up over and over again as the things I constantly see deterring people from Christianity.

How about we knock all that crap off, huh?

And stop drinking terrible beer while you're at it.

The Burden of Nerdin'

2011-07-12T04:45:00.003-05:00

So I didn't get the job at Lone Star Comics.

In my interview, I told the woman interviewing me that I wanted to work at Lone Star because of all the comic book stores I've been to in the 17 states in which I have been to comic book stores, the Lone Star location on Cooper in Arlington is seriously in the top 5. There are literally hundreds of candidates here, and Lone Star is EASILY in the top 5.

I would absolutely LOVE to work at Lone Star Comics.

And I honestly don't understand why I'm not already doing that.

Seeing Thor kicked me back into high gear on my comic reading. I finally got volumes 2 and 3 (of five) from the Walt Simonson Thor run, allowing me to finish something I've had volume 1 of (as well as volumes 4 and 5) for nigh upon 6 years now. Finishing Simonson's Thor, I immediately had to go for his Fantastic Four work. I already had volumes 1 and 2, which I devoured... and then needed volume 3!

So Corwin and I went to Lone Star. The book I was hunting wasn't on the shelves, so I asked the guy at the computer to help me out, which he definitely did to his best ability. The only snag was that it took 20 minutes and the help of another employee as well as the manager to find this book.

I am not complaining about this. I can spend 20 minutes in a comic book store goofing around without ANY problem. I'm just noting that it's not super efficient. The manager even said so, pointing out that the book was listed in the computer with the title all wrong because there are employees who don't know what's important out of the title of the book so they don't know how to enter it into the computer. The spine of the book I was hunting reads "Fantastic Four Visionaries by Walter Simonson, volume 3." The manager said the book was listed on the computer as "Fantastic Vision Simon 3," hence the very understandable delay in finding the book.But hey, I still got to read about the Fantastic Four teaming up with Hulk, Spider-Man, Wolverine and Ghost Rider to fight Skrulls in the underground domain of the Mole Man and his legions of subterranean monsters, so that's pretty awesome. Why would I care about how someone screwed up listing the book - I still got it, didn't I?

Well... YEAH... But I don't think I'm being too arrogant when I say that I could probably help things move at least a little smoother down there if I had that job just because I already do that kind of thing with my own comics. I have a huge spreadsheet of all the comics I own. I'll admit, it's a little out of date, but I do have the thing.

So, at the suggestion of Corwin, I went back to the Lone Star office, hoping to talk to the woman who interviewed me. She was out, so I talked to... some other guy. And I hit my nerd-stride and ranted a little while. Then I left.

I still don't have the job, but to be fair, it was just Friday when I did that, so... who knows what'll happen.The other night, Corwin and I met a dude at the 7-Eleven and absolutely rocked his world with the information that the ticker on your odometer measures out pre-determined distances of 528 feet - also known as a tenth of a mile - and not blocks.

When we were done blowing his mind (a process which included Corwin and I taking a two-mile round trip drive just to check the odometer against our varied predictions of a predetermined distance), the guy said he was going to call his sister in Abilene to tell her the amazing news of tenths of a mile as a unit of measurement.

It was a pretty surreal conversation.

I also had a few surreal conversations with some amazing folks I met at a friend's housewarming party a few nights back. Bein' the self that I am, it wasn't too long before I found myself embroiled in discussions of the nature of the universe and whatever powers do or do not exist behind it.

What most consistently amazed me, however, was that I was talking to people who had all in various ways and to various degrees rejected the particular permutation of Christianity that they were raised in, but when engaged in conversation with a dude who self-identifies as a preacher, they find no shortage of words to spill on their love for a thing they have rejected.

What I found the most fascinating about those conversations was that the more they talked about what they left church for, the more they would counter it with the things they loved church for. The bad was always balanced with the good. And the good was normally the right thing to be excited about!

I get in trouble when I play games like SceneIt! or Trivial Pursuit because I wind up being that guy at the party that takes one turn and goes all the way around the board and wins the game without letting anyone else play. It isn't my fault that you go until you miss, and it's also not my fault that useless questions like the ones asked in both of those games happen to be the things that my brain absorbs the most readily, but dang it, that is the simple truth of the matter.I am an arrogant know-it-all, and I know it. Hate it. Trying to fix it. Not making as much progress as I would like, but with God's help I'm at least less of a jerk today than I was 5 years ago.

So I still don't know what to do when I'm in situations where the knowledge and understanding in my head would solve a lot of the problems being presented and has not been asked for, or has even been rejected.

I know how to sort, file, tag, bag, enumerate, collate, grade and price comics. If for nothing else than innate abilities and a fiery passion for the job, I think I should have gotten the job at Lone Star. I think I could be helping them do their job better just because I am already pretty good at doing that job in my free time.I know what a tenth of a mile is.

I know what Jesus said about how we're supposed to live. I hate most of the same things that most people who say they hate church hate about the churches they hate, and I love the same things that those same people love. The bad things should be tossed out because they don't work - the arrogance of those who believe that their church affiliation earns them an extra helping of God's Love, for instance, is utter rubbish. The good things should be encouraged and nurtured that they may flourish - the humility of the realization that Love doesn't hold grudges but instead relentlessly forgives is a pretty awesome one that I'd like to see more churches grab on to.

I don't feel like I should get some sort of special attention for knowing this stuff. It's not like there are a lot of uses for knowing that Walt Simonson's run came a few years after John Byrne's, which was itself a few years after George Pérez's run, which was, of course, after the Stan & Jack run.

But ONE of those VERY FEW USES for that information is WORKING AT A COMIC BOOK STORE.

So... shouldn't I at least try to make sure that SOMEBODY in charge knows that I already know a lot of this stuff that other people - people with far, far better skin and hair - would normally have to look up?

I dunno.

I've definitely seen the impact that a small bit of information can have on somebody, even if it's something that I take as a commonly agreed-upon point! Redefining the functionality of the odometer based on tenths of a mile instead of city blocks was apparently a huge deal for that guy at 7-Eleven. I didn't even know that people didn't know that.

And I've definitely seen that people are hungry for something that God offers. Even in their rejection of God and everything that aspires to follow Him, these people are themselves longing for a connection to God that is real and vibrant and alive and powerful...

But they have a hard time believing me when I tell them that it's really pretty close to their grasp. They already know a lot of the big truths! Don't be a judgmental ass! Don't segregate people! Don't use people! Don't belittle people! And especially don't do it in the name of the Love of God! Those are the things that Jesus got the most upset about!

So why is there such a resistance to agreeing with Him?

When the picture of Jesus includes hatred, it's easy to reject! But when the picture of Jesus is actually shown the way it's supposed to be, as a picture of pure, unconditional, holy Love, then it's hard to be upset with that. It's hard to argue with it. It's hard to do anything other than say, "Well, I guess that Jesus guy was right - maybe we SHOULD all be exactly as nice to each other as we want everybody else to be to us."

I don't claim that I have any sort of unique understanding or some new vision of truth. I'm just the guy who knows a lot of stuff that other people don't for whatever reasons. I will READILY admit that 99% of the stuff in my brain is wholly pointless. Uncanny X-Men #1 came out on September 30, 1963. Totally pointless. But I know it.

But that slim 1% of stuff that I know that actually matters? It matters a whole lot! And people WANT to hear it! But they're so hung up on rejecting anything that sounds like God or religion or anything else that they can't see the Truth even when they're pointing at it!

Look... I know this is getting rambly, but whatever, I had a few Shiners out at the TANSTAAFL and sometimes a man just has to say a thing. So here's my point: I know things. Honestly, it's the only thing I do well - know stuff. A lot of it has absolutely no use. But what precious little does is of the utmost universal importance. The gravity of its truth is inescapable. Love is the right answer.

So... why don't people just accept that? Is it just because God said it? Or even, heaven forbid, because I said it?

I know a lot of stuff, but I sure don't know about that.

Thoughts about stuff and things

2011-07-08T02:21:00.003-05:00

I'd like to take a moment to talk to you about stuff and things.

First: stuff. It's just stuff.

Second: things. They're just things.

I know that stuff can be pretty awesome. And I have definitely enjoyed the things that I have been blessed with in my life. But what it took me far too long to learn is that when you get down to it, it's still just stuff and things.

I don't know if it's a problem that's exclusive to American Christianity, but it seems like we've allowed too much of the Joel Osteen prosperity gospel to creep into our lives. I say "we" because I am definitely guilty of it, even in the mostly ascetic life I've found myself living here in Arlington. We've got this idea that more stuff is better. We fight tooth and nail to defend our things, as if they were what mattered.And don't hear me saying that stuff and things are bad. They're not. They're in fact very nice.

But they are still just stuff and things, after all.

Read through Acts, especially the early chapters, and see what the early church's attitude was towards stuff.

Christian #1: I need stuff.

Christian #2: Hey, brother! Did I hear you say you need stuff?

Christian #1: Yeah, man. I need stuff.

Christian #2: Well... I have stuff... How about you have some of my stuff?

Christian #1: Oh, wow! Thanks, man! Now I have the stuff I needed and life can keep on going.

Stuff is nice, but if you're not using it for the glory of God, what's the point? If you're not using it to serve others, what's the point?

Take it from a dude who has spent a whole lot of his life focused entirely too much on stuff and things (and even things about the stuff and stuff about the things, as well as extra stuff that you have to get just to keep the things in pristine condition, and then the things you have to have for all of that stuff) - it's not worth it for its own sake.

I'll drop the silly pronoun usage to make a point: I have recently been re-re-reminded just how very much I love comics. But what's been the most fun is sharing those comics with a few of the people around me. It isn't enough that I have the comics, or that I have read them countless times, or that I know all the crazy stories behind the publication and origins and blah blah blah. That doesn't matter compared to seeing the smile on someone else's face when they get it. When they see why I love (whatever book it is) so much, that's when it's worth having the thing in the first place.

Now, obviously, comics are different from houses. But... they are both still just things, aren't they?

Doesn't the Bible say that the early church was selling EVERYTHING they had and taking care of each other?

Wasn't that the "one thing" Jesus told the rich young ruler he needed to do - sell everything he had and follow Jesus?

I really don't have a lot of stuff. It's freeing, sure, but it's also a burden, because the simple reality of the world that we live in is that you have to have SOME stuff or otherwise you can't get ANY stuff.

But what little (very little) stuff I do have, I have tried to share freely with those around me.

And you know what? Sometimes that's still really hard. It's MY stuff, isn't it? I deserve it, don't I?

Well... No.

It's hard to walk away from the American ideal of working hard to get more stuff - especially when the alternative Christ offers is to work hard and give all your stuff away. Jesus tells us not to store up treasures down here, but to store them up in Heaven. The hard part is that I can't see my Heavenly treasures. I can't hold them. I can't see them represented as a number at the ATM.

And isn't that really the craziest part of Christianity anyway? That we base it all on something that none of us have actually experienced in a material sense? We've never seen God, but we follow Him anyway.

How far are we willing to follow Him? If He asks us for an hour a week, we'll gladly give it to Him - we might even get dressed up for it. But what if He asks me to give up my comics? My DVDs? My iPod?

(The iPod would be the worst.)

God is all that matters. God is the only reality. Everything else is questionable. Temporary. Pointless.

So why not live that way?

Why not sell everything we have and take care of those who need it? Because it's uncomfortable? Because it's hard?

When did we decide it was OK to take the easy way out?

I am a guy preaching against materialism when I don't have a lot of stuff to begin with... except for debt. Got a lot of that. I hope that when the day comes (if ever) that God chooses to bless me with material wealth, I will be able to use it wisely and completely for His purposes.

In the meantime, I hope and pray that I have the wisdom to use what little I DO have for His purposes, and I hope and pray that you will do the same. May God bless you with less stuff.

Droppin' Truth Bombs, Yo!

2011-06-23T16:47:00.002-05:00

Over on the facebook there was an exchange between myself and my brother of another mother Jimbo. This is that exchange:

----------------------
Jimbo Ivy will never cease to be amazed by the anger and fury it is possible to call up when you dare suggest that mankind does not possess all the answers; about their world, about their god(s), or about who deserves what. While I will, forever, openly acknowledge that you do not know the truth, I would never be so bold as claim I do.
----------------------

Aaron J. Rushton But what if knowing the Truth and possessing all the answers don't mean the same thing? Is Truth entirely unknowable?

----------------------
Jimbo Ivy You know as well as I my stance on that issue, Aaron, and it ain't far removed for your own, thus our brotherly association. I am addressing those that claim man's understanding of God is complete and unerring, and on the same tack those that claim to know the world through reason and science in a complete and unerring way. When people stop listening, stop learning, and consider their spiritual education complete, that is when truth dies, when truth becomes unknowable. But I will venture an answer to that question: Truth is knowable for men only once their gone; once they cross over. Faith and conscience is what we have until then to inform us of what truth can be for us in this questionable, confusin existence. If God has a literal presence on this Earth, it is that; our instinctual knowin of what is real to us, of what we feel through our experience and sense of the universe, divine or otherwise, that informs us as how to live our lives. I'm just positing that there may not be a lone answer to the question of how to live, how to believe, how to draw breath, just as there is no one way to splice a line, sow a field, or give joy to a heart. I do not know the answers, the whole of truth; but I do not believe these people that live with their eyes and hearts closed to principles of God (which they forget too often are love, forgiveness, and acceptance) know better than me. In fact, I believe my questions are far more faithful than their unflinching assertions. And I believe, if I may be so bold, that you believe that too.
----------------------

And this post is what I've got to say to that.

"When people stop listening, stop learning, and consider their spiritual education complete, that is when truth dies, when truth becomes unknowable."

Man, I am so entirely with you on what I think you think you're saying, but I can't actually agree with it the way you're saying it here, and it all hinges on one understanding: what is Truth?

If Truth is ever knowable, then it cannot become unknowable. If Truth ever lived, then it can never die. Truth shines out forever in all directions, and cannot be extinguished, silenced or altered. Truth frees us all, and Truth certainly frees itself.

Truth is eternal.

Truth and facts are not the same thing. It is a stone cold fact that I am not eating Oreos at the moment, but the Truth of Aaron J. Rushton is not "dude who does not eat Oreos." Facts change. Truth is eternal.

Eternity is a pretty crazy thing. Imagine a number line stretching from the infinite negative to the infinite positive, like this:

-∞ 0 ∞
<-------------------------------------------------------|----------------------------------------------------->

Now also imagine that we take a small piece of that number line - from 0 to 1 - and look at it more closely, like this:

0 1
|-------------------------------------------------------|

While this may seem like a finite piece of the number line, since it came from an infinite number line, this piece itself is also infinite, right? Think about the divisions we can make between 0 and 1 - 1/2, 1/3, 1/4, 1/5... and so on. Or think about 0.1, 0.01, 0.001, 0.0001... No matter how small we choose to go, there is always something smaller. There is an infinite amount of definition in the finite space between 0 and 1.

So if you are looking at the number line we started with, you can zoom out as wide as you like and you will never see the ends of it, or you can move in as close as you like and never run out of room.

I believe Truth to function that way. I believe that if you only know one small kernel of Truth, it is still Truth, and it will lead you to a better understanding of all Truth, if you will let it. But I also believe that you can never know it all, even in its simplicity.

I definitely believe the Truth to be knowable, and I believe the Truth to be this: that we are all created by God to be equal, and that the fullness of His plan for His Creation (that would be us) is to experience the whole of existence in Love, and in the fullness of Love that only God can make known to us.

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

- Matthew 22:34-40

The central point, the focus, the origin, the underlying foundation, the absolute cornerstone to everything in the Gospel I preach is Love, and I believe that the Truth of Love may be known.

But I also believe that the Truth of Love is that it never stops. The Truth is that Love is eternal, and if Love and Truth are both eternal, how can anyone ever know the final answer?

But if the Truth is Love, how can there ever be anything else to know? Love is the answer. Love is the final answer in all things. Love solves all problems. Love is the Truth, and the Truth is Love.

So do I know the Truth? I believe I do. Do I know it all? Heavens, no. That, as you say, will only come after concluding the finite portion of an infinite experience. We are temporal creatures housing eternal souls. Truth - Love - is eternal. It's the only thing that matters, and it's the thing that everything else has to be built on for anything to make sense.

I'll be writing more about this later, but I've wanted to say that for a while now...

Never Underestimate the Value of a Bad Example

2011-06-05T00:46:00.003-05:00

Over the years, I've had more than a few discussions with people about the things that are in the Bible that they find to be morally objectionable. I've discussed one of those things here on the blog before - Jephthah - and what I hope I have made clear in that blog post as well as in the conversations I've had with people throughout the years is that Jephthah's story isn't meant to be seen as a story of what it means to be an incredible follower of God. Jephthah's story is an example of getting it wrong. Jephthah's story is a bad example that should really be paid attention to with the understanding that his example is bad.

I used to get in trouble for watching Beavis & Butt-head on Mtv. (Really, I got in trouble just about any time my parents found out I was watching Mtv.) I remember being a kid and hearing all the stories on the news about other kids my age winding up in the hospital or the morgue for trying to repeat stunts that Beavis & Butt-head had done on their show... even though they were cartoons...

But I always thought of Beavis & Butt-head as perfectly good examples of what not to do in life - immature, crude, and quite frankly hilarious examples of the exact opposite of goodness. So long as I live my life looking nothing like Beavis and/or Butt-head, I think I'll be OK.

Is it bad that I feel the same way about a couple of ministers who were in my life at very pivotal times in my journey to God?

I started my time at Harding University as a Bible major with absolutely zero intention of ever participating in any sort of ministry. My youth minister in high school made sure of that. If you're in the very small bracket of people who both (1) read my blog and (2) know who my youth minister was in high school, you're probably not surprised by this. By the time I graduated high school, I was so repulsed, so turned off, so vehemently against the idea of doing anything that even came close to resembling what he did in the name of Christ that I just swore that I'd never even be involved. My goal - and I told people this - was to be the old man who sat at the back of the church and just knew a lot of stuff.

But at the same time... My youth minister was a pretty big dude, easy for (most) people to get along with, always quick with a joke, very passionate about the things he cared about...

And then there was the blatant favoritism, the wildly inappropriate conversations around members of the youth group, the encouragement of all sorts of idiocy and illegalities so long as they were funny, the way-creepy and pretty dang near illegal way he behaved toward attractive 17 year old girls...

It's like looking in a fun-house mirror. I know that what I'm looking at isn't really me, but dang it all if there aren't so many similarities that it's kinda unsettling to think that I might actually look like that, after all...

What do I do with that?

What would I say to that guy if I saw him on the street tomorrow?

Would I tell him just how awful he was at his job? Would I call down the righteous thunder and shame him publicly for his gross negligence in caring for the souls that were placed in his charge? Would I just start reading scripture at him? It's not like there's a shortage of options.

Or would I thank him for being so amazingly crappy at his job that it (eventually) led me to realize that God was calling me to go into the same field, just to try to do it better?

In every step I made during the summer of my youth ministry internship, the one question I asked myself over and over and over was, "What would my youth minister have done?"

And then I just did the opposite of that. I think it turned out OK for the most part.

But that brings up another bad example I've been blessed with. The pulpit minister I worked with for that summer... oh, goodness. Go read Matthew 23. The whole chapter would be good, but make sure you hit the first 8 verses. That's a pretty good picture of this guy.

Again... If you're in that select group of folks who (1) read my stuff and (2) know who I had to deal with during the summer of that internship, you probably already know at least part of how bad it was.

I have never met a minister who better embodied every complaint I've ever heard about Christians. It's... it's impressive, to say the least.

During my summer there, I was tasked with the job of getting the guys of the youth group more experienced in leading the church services. The Wednesday night class meetings were JUST class meetings - there was nothing for the whole church to get together. The Sunday PM services were at 1:30, and I never saw a one of them with more than 25 people (a whopping 10% of the AM service numbers). So that leaves Sunday morning as the only viable time to get the boys involved in the worship service in front of the congregation to actually gain any confidence in their abilities to lead God's flock. But preacher-man wasn't OK with that idea - one of the boys might make a mistake and scare off visitors (who, of course, all expect 16 year olds to be perfect for their first time behind a microphone).

In preparing for that Youth Sunday, preacher-man found out I would not be wearing a suit in the pulpit. I think he might have had a slight coronary at that point. How could I possibly preach without wearing a suit? What would the rich old lady think?

Look... I've had people call me out on a lot of things for being a fat guy that make a lot of sense. I will readily concede that I would not make a very good sprinter. I am fully aware that I would probably be very bad at ballet. But I find it pretty hard to believe that my weight (impressive though it may be) has any impact on my ability to effectively spread the Gospel. (This was brought into question, more than once, and in person, by a man who has been a preacher for more than twice my lifespan. WOW.)

Again... I don't think that there's any bigger reason that people don't go to church than people who already do go to church.

I don't want to spread gossip, and I hope I haven't been. I just know that these two guys have made inestimably valuable impacts on my ministry - or my mission work or my preaching or whatever it is you want to call whatever I'm doing in Arlington - and for that, I cannot thank them enough.

But I really don't know what it's like to thank someone for being so disgustingly terrible at their job that it inspired me to do it better.

ME!

I haven't actually done the math or anything, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess that at least a full third of all of the money that I've ever had in my life has gone towards comics, and that at least 75% of that third came from gambling.

I have got a straight up hate for Contemporary Christian Music. I know all of the lyrics to all of the songs on the first five Black Sabbath albums. I know more personal details about the four members of Led Zeppelin than I do about most of the girls I've dated.

I can vividly remember smoking an entire pack of cigarettes in the space of an hour. On the other hand, there is a night in my past that I have almost no memory of whatsoever, except for the part where I threw up on the rug of the (complete strangers') house I was partying in, and then woke up - naked - on a different couch than the one I remembered being on when I threw up.

I have cheated, lied, manipulated, stolen, and done all manner of other horrible, wicked, indulgent things, destructive to myself as well as those around me, all in the name of having a good time...

...and yet I still look at those two guys...

...and all I can think is, "God... please... just don't let me be like that!"

On the Road

2011-05-27T18:43:00.001-05:00

Well, after a day in Arkansas, we've finally got our full load and we're rolling down I-24, headed to Amberland! God has been protecting us from a lot of trouble and stupidity so far - others' as well as our own, I must admit.

Last year, I had six other guys with me. This year, there are 16 of us! There are several degrees of separation between all of our belief systems, but everybody definitely agrees on at least one thing, and that's this: maybe we should just all be nice to other people.

I wonder sometimes if that's enough.

I fully believe that Jesus is the Son of God. I fully believe that there are eternal consequences for the choices we make in life. I fully believe that Christ offers those who follow after Him a unique look into the Life that we were created for.

But I also believe that God wants as many people to experience His fullness as possible. James 1:27 says "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Just a few verses later, 2:8 says "If you really keep the royal law found in scripture, ' Love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing right."

So is God necessarily a part of either of those? Can you love others as yourself without loving God?

What about I John 4:7, which says that "...everyone who loves is born of God and knows God"?

Is loving others enough?

Now, don't worry, I haven't forgotten the words of Christ in Matthew 22. I still firmly believe that our first responsiblity is to Love God. We all know we're not perfect at it, but we do know that He forgives us, right?

So what if God's grace is so big that He's willing to forgive people who deny His very existence, so long as they Love Others?

What if His grace is so big that He's willing to forgive people who call Him by a different name?

Jesus asked that the Father forgive those who crucified Him, saying that they did not know what they were doing. What if that's how it's supposed to be forever?

I still believe - completely - in the exclusive Way, Truth and Life revealed in Jesus Christ. I also believe that He has asked me to tell others about Him.

But what if that whole loving others thing really is the whole point?

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Perfect Strangers

2011-05-25T17:58:00.001-05:00

I'm passing through some nameless stretch of Texan I-30. Zoogma's "Jerry Diesel" is playing. My friend Ali tells me he might like Zoogma more than Perpetual Groove. This is his first exposure to Zoogma. His first exposure to Perpetual Groove was yesterday.

The reason I'm listening to music on I-30 with Ali is that he's driving me and Corwin to Amberland, and we'll be picking up more people along the way.

The crazy thing about Ali driving is that it solves SO many problems we were facing in our trip to Amberland. We started the week off one seat in the red on getting everybody to the festival. Now, not only do we have that seat open, we actually have enough room to take one less vehicle than we originally planned.

I have to admit that I felt a little weird asking God to give us what basically winds up being a free ride to the show, but I gotta tell you... The Big Guy DELIVERED.

I have a pretty strong feeling that Ali is the first of many HUGE things God is gonna throw my way this weekend...

AMBERLAND! WOO!

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Countdown to Amberland: Everything Changes

2011-05-23T13:31:00.000-05:00

Hi!

It is not Wednesday! Again!

So here's the deal... I'm technically homeless right now. I am staying with the wonderful and generous Elliott family, and this is the first chance I've really had to sit down at a computer in over a week. I'm not even using my own computer; my computer is still living in the Gibbons' garage, along with most of my clothes and all of the comics and movies I brought with me to Texas.

Life in Arlington is frenetic, kinetic, and copacetic.

But I am definitely in the right place.

God is moving so many things in my life, teaching me so much, showing me so many people who need His Love in their lives... I stop and think about what my life was like a year ago, two years ago, five years ago, ten years ago... and I'm just blown away.

If the imminent high school graduate version of myself from 10 years ago saw my life today, he wouldn't believe it, understand it, or recognize it. I think and feel like a completely different person. I believe that the difference is for the better, and I certainly hope God agrees. I would say He does, since He's been showing me non-stop what it's like to have Him not only in my life, but as my life. It's... it's crazy. It's awesome. It's crazy awesome.

I really wish I had time to tell you about everything that's been going on here. I wish I could even begin to write down everything that has happened in the past week. That alone would be enough to take up the rest of my day.

I wish I could tell you everything about the adventures Corwin and I have had talking to Metra, helping Tamera move, playing Munchkin with Steven, Cody, and Lindsay, experiencing the thrill of cheap beer with Randy, spending as much time as we possibly can with Chino, sharing Back to the Future with Nate...

And through it all... God is awesome.

Amberland is this weekend.

I am ready. God has shown me so many sparks that just need a little fanning to turn into full roaring flames. There are so many people that I cannot wait to see and be with - laughing, singing, dancing...

I'm performing a wedding. So that's a thing.

I really expect communion this year to be another world-shaker. Last year, I met some folks who I am so very much looking forward to seeing again. It has been too long since I have shared the body of Christ with my fellow disciples in the PGroove fold. Bread will be broken, wine will be shared, tears will be shed, spirits will be restored.

God is going to change lives this weekend.

God Bless Amberland.

BLOG STUFF UPDATE:
So, uhhh... This has been fun.

The previous post was my first late post since I started this blog at the end of 2009. This is the second. It's been more than a week since my last post. My time is not what it was.

So things are changing here. The blog is still going, but there's absolutely no schedule to it now. Sorry. I know a lot of you had your entire weeks built around me, but we've all got to make transitions in life and I think this will be good for us both.

Wait, why does that sound like a break up?

Sorry.

Anyway - I just do not have the time at my disposal anymore to write what I've been writing. So expect shorter posts... but hopefully a bit more frequently. As always, the goal of this is not just to say what I want to say, but to hear what you have to say back. I'm hoping this new schedule will encourage more discussion. I dunno. We'll see.

I love you all. Thanks for reading. See you soon.

Countdown to Amberland: A Moment of Your Time

2011-05-14T01:45:00.005-05:00

Hours fly
Flowers die.
New days,
New ways,
Pass by.
Love Stays
- - -
Time is
Too Slow for those who Wait,
Too Swift for those who Fear,
Too Long for those who Grieve,
Too Short for those who Rejoice;
But for those who Love,
Time is Not.

- "Inscription for Katrina's Sundial" by Henry Van Dyke

One of the more mind-boggling parts of an understanding of the nature of God is an understanding of a Being that exists completely outside of Time.

Go watch this video - it will take about 11 minutes, but my post is short this week, so it'll all balance out.

God, being Eternal, sees the fullness of what we experience as Time. Our perception of Time is limited to one specific: now. Now is all we have.

But God has forever.

Being temporal creatures - mortal, often all too aware of the brevity of our duration here - we are immersed in a constant stream of imagery and proverbs that remind us that Time is not ours to control, and that we are powerless to cease its march.

And so we are driven to use each moment to its fullest! "Time is Money!" We know that our Time is valuable, and we are so aware of its value that a lot of us are adamantly opposed to the idea of sacrificing our Time.

And it's not that we won't give up our Time to help those in need - it's just that we want to know when that need will hit so we can put it in the schedule.

But let's be honest - how many of us get upset when church runs long?

What if we started giving God the moment?

What if we all decided to give God right now instead of later?

What if we let go of our schedules just enough that we let God take control?

Will it be different? Will it be new? Will it be hectic?

Yes, yes, and yes.

But it will also be awesome, powerful, and endlessly renewing.

This is the first post I've had since I started the blog that didn't make it in before midnight on Wednesday. God changed my schedule. It was totally worth a late post.

There are so many things about Christianity that are so simple to say but so difficult to do. I realize this, and it creates something of a disconnect in my mind. I can tell you what to do, but I can't even begin to tell you how to do it. Ask God, He'll help.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

- James 4:13-17

Your Time is not yours. Nothing is yours. You're only using it. Giving up everything for God means giving up everything. It means giving up control, giving up understanding, and giving up what we want.

God only asks for everything.

But isn't trading your Time for His Eternity worth it?

COUNTDOWN TO AMBERLAND UPDATE:

Well... It's 2 weeks away now, and I'm just about fit to burst with excitement.

I had an interview the other day for a job at Lone Star Comics here in Arlington. Should know something about that soon, so please be praying for that.

I also have fancy letterheads and business cards now. If you think your church would like to get a letter from me on my fancy letterhead, shoot me an address.

I'm sure there'd be a lot more things worth saying if it weren't 2:00 AM.

Countdown to Amberland: The Relativity of Absolutes

2011-05-04T01:37:00.010-05:00

Does Absolute Truth exist, or is all truth relative?

I'm afraid this is a loaded question, but since it's rhetorical, who cares?

If we say that absolutes do not exist and that all truth is relative, then we have come to a paradox of meaning. If all truth is relative, then the truth that "all truth is relative" is also relative, therefore allowing absolutes. However, if all truth but "all truth is relative" is relative, then "all truth is relative" is an absolute, which renders "all truth is relative" necessarily false.

I hope you at least know that I completely believe in Absolute Truth, and - as a direct result of that belief - I also believe in Absolute Morality.

I believe that there is a standardized, codified, and bona fide way that everybody should live their lives, and I believe that the adherence to that Morality is of inexpressible benefit to your eternal soul. Deviation is not encouraged.

Are you ready? Here it comes!

Good.

Good Morality. That's it. That's the thing. That is all you've got to worry about. Be Good.

It isn't a hard concept, as much as everybody in the world is trying to tell you that it is, but please, do not listen to them, they are selling you a load of crap because they have an agenda. I am giving you gold, but I will admit that I have an agenda as well: my agenda is that you have gold.

If I just ended the post right here, I know it wouldn't be very long at all before someone dropped the "But Aaron, who are you to say what is 'good'? After all, everyone's definition of 'good' changes from--'"

And I'm just gonna cut off the faucet there because the water's runnin' brown anyway.

That is a load of poop and everybody knows it. (I really hope you're picking up the doo-doo metaphors here. I'm trying to drive a point home.)

You know what Good is. I know what Good is. Everybody who has ever experienced a single regret for the slightest of pain they have ever caused another person knows what Good is.

And then everybody chooses - in greatly varying degrees - to ignore it.

Some people are taught to ignore it, yes... And I doubt that God's mercy extends very far to those who teach others to hate and steal and cheat and ruin and destroy... But Good makes itself known in each of us at some point in our lives, and all of us know what is Good and what is Bad to varying degrees.

At the very least, we can all - and I mean all - agree that "I don't want bad stuff to happen to me" is a constant, right? Isn't that true of everybody everywhere everywhen no matter what religion, race, nationality, sexual orientation, whatever in the whatever of whatever?

So we at least know that we don't want other people to hurt us. So it doesn't take too long for most of us to be aware that we have the potential to hurt other people, which we know we don't want to happen to us...

We know what Good is - whether we can really express it or not - because we know what we want to happen to us. We know what Bad is - whether we really agree on all of what that looks like or not - because we know what we don't want to happen to us.

It doesn't take much to connect the dots from there.

But I am not so dense as to say that the discussion ends here.

There is Absolute Truth, there is Absolute Morality...

But there are relative positions between people and those Absolutes, so, guess what! There's relative morality within the realm of Absolute Morality!

In all things we must be Good.

So what do you do with a homeless guy who asks you for some money, openly admitting that it's so he can get drunk?

What would be Good for that guy?

Well, I'd say rehab, a good shower, shave, haircut, place to live, life skills, new wardrobe, an impressive résumé, a can-do-attitude, and a couple of acts of Congress would be Good for him...

But if it takes a few bucks for a 40 of cheap suds so he can get over the DTs and maybe sleep a full night for the first time in a month... Would that be Good for him, too?

(I don't know, just so you know.)

And this brings me to why I think God is necessary.

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.

- James 2:8

I think James is right. I think that if you really manage to Love everybody on this planet the way you love yourself, you got nothin' to worry about.

But I also think that's impossible for us to do on our own.

I think that we are already so behind on what it is to actually be Good to other people that we need some help. I think we need supernatural help, in fact. That's how behind we are - we are so behind that we cannot possibly pull ourselves up by our secular humanist bootstraps and become a peaceful global society; we must rely solely on the direct intervention of God.

And that's why I think there are actually two parts to the Absolute Morality: Love God, Love Others.

Those are the only two things you have to do, but you absolutely have to do those things. Those are the things you are here to do. If you aren't doing one part of it, you're not doing the whole thing.

It is only by Loving God that you can understand what Love really is. Once you understand God's Love for you, you can understand God's Love for Others, and then you, Loving God, can begin to properly Love Others.

And not only is Loving God necessary to understand how to Love Others, Loving Others is the means by which you express your Love for God.

You can't do B without A, and you aren't doing A unless you also do B.

So does Absolute Morality mean that there are some things that are just wrong? I believe so.

But the beauty of Absolute Morality and Absolute Truth is that they can both be summed up in one thing: Absolute Love.

God Loves you the way that only God can Love you - Absolutely. Unconditionally. Limitlessly. Never failing, never questioning, never shrinking, never weary, never hesitant.

If you can equate yourself with God and say that you honestly Love everyone with the same unflinching boundlessness, then I congratulate you. But I am pretty sure we've all screwed up a few times. I'm pretty sure we've all done things that we know are Bad.

So why the confusion?

Why do people insist that morality is relative and that there are no absolutes?

Don't we all know what's really Good deep down? Don't we all, way deep down, really know what's Bad?

Could the idea that morality is relative be simply a clever ploy on the part of the armies of darkness to trick us into thinking we don't really have to worry about it? That we're good enough as it is? That we really don't have to try much harder, even though we all still know that's crap?

Does the world seem like we're in a good place? Does it seem like relative morality has allowed us to settle our differences peaceably?

Or can we maybe, hopefully, prayerfully be approaching a time when humanity as a whole realizes that the only thing we have to do to make this place completely awesome for everybody is not put ourselves first?

Love God. Love Others.

That's it.

That's all there is to it.

But you can't do one without the other, and if you're not doing both, you're missing the point anyway.

If you are sent to the store to buy a gallon of milk but just drive to the store and back, did you do what you were sent to do? Does that count? Are you going to get credit for "trying"?

The thing about that homeless guy is that it's hard to decide between what's best for him in the moment and what's best for him in the long run, especially when he might not survive to see the long run if the moment isn't taken care of.

But the thing about God - the amazing thing about God - is that when you're actually doing it, when you're really Loving Him by Loving Others and Loving Others because you Love Him, He helps.

Just try it. See what happens. See what happens to you. See what happens to the people around you. See what happens to the whole world.

COUNTDOWN TO AMBERLAND UPDATE:

Hey, I'm gonna be doing this for the rest of May, so here's what's up: at the end of May, I'm going to Amberland, which is turning into this nexus-of-all-realities type event in a lot of people's lives. There are entire destinies that hang in the balance at Amberland, it seems, and that is, frankly, awesome.

If you didn't know yet, I'm performing a wedding - my first - at Amberland. I only know the couple through the Perpetual Groove crowd. It's an incredible honor, and I feel that this wedding is an exclamation point to what is promising to be an incredible weekend.

But the other significance of Amberland is that it'll be my first time back to Tennessee as a Facebook-official Texan. I would like all of you to know what is going on in my life, but I realize that time does not always permit us to see each other.

So here's an update:

It's been about three weeks now since I laid in a bed.

I've been staying with the wonderful Foster family, who have provided me a place to sleep the entire time I've been here so far. The couch is sleeping me as well as any 4-star hotel room ever could. The generosity of this family, especially in a time of an especially hard loss, has been overwhelming. They have welcomed me in as another son, as a brother, as a friend... I thank God for the Fosters, and I would thank you to thank Him for them, too.

Every day is an adventure. Every day is an explosion of God's work in me. I am starting to understand more of what John means at the end of his gospel when he says that "the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." The whole internet does not have room for the stuff I could write if I had the infinite time it would take me to write it. It's incredible. My head doesn't stop spinning from the last one before God throws another lightning bolt of Love and Wisdom my way. Things just keep happening. Oh, my God, my God... How Awesome.

Amberland is a mere 22 days away. I am already nearing my critical meltdown stage in excitement. It will be good.

Free Will, Round Squares, and a Question of Dubious Morality

2011-04-26T19:20:00.008-05:00

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with somebody who knew just enough of what you're talking about to understand the words and yet still completely miss the point?

I don't want - at all - to sound like there are any questions that one could ask about God that aren't worth asking, or that there are dumb questions, or anything like that. But sometimes there are questions that, if followed out to their logical extensions, highlight some pretty serious problems within the understanding behind the question itself.

For instance, consider the old classic: "Can God create a stone so heavy He can't lift it?"

The idea behind this question is supposedly to point out a paradox within the understanding of the omnipotence of God. God can do anything, right?

Well... Yes... but also no. Can God defy the laws of physics? For sure. Can He defy the laws of possibility? No. Asking about the heavy stone might as well be asking if God can create a round square. God can do anything that can be done, but contradictions of essential nature are outside of even God's power. God cannot create a thing that by actual definitions cannot exist.

(Everything else, of course, is completely fair game.)

I was asked a question somewhat like that a while back, and I'd like to share the experience with you because I feel that it points to a pretty fascinating viewpoint. I've encountered the question before in various settings, but never in actual conversation. Here's the question, and please understand that it positively blew my mind:

"Why would a loving God create me with free will knowing that I would sin and go to hell?"

Let's tackle this one piece at a time...

"Why would a loving God create me with free will..."

This part is easy! God created us with free will so that we would be free to Love Him, free to choose to serve Him, free to choose to Love Others, free to choose to do good, free to choose to do evil, free to choose to be self-centered, free to choose Coke or Pepsi, free to choose cats or dogs, free to choose all the millions of choices that come to us in every moment of our lives, so that we could see that there is Good in the world as well as Evil, and knowing the difference, that we should choose between the two.

Incidentally, the guy who asked me this question (whose name is not Harold, but I'm going to call him that) came from a position of non-belief, in case you hadn't guessed that. His disbelief in God is founded, as I understood it, in his belief in science. As I've mentioned here before, I don't understand what science has to do with the non-existence of God, but I'll allow a dude his beliefs, even if I can't see how they make sense at all.

I don't know how familiar you are with the band Rush, but they've got a song called "Freewill" which is a powerful rejection of religion across the board in favor of (as I'm sure you've guessed) free will.

You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear, I will choose free will!

But what's interesting about the idea of non-theistic free will is that it's kind of an impossibility.

If the universe really is "nothing but a collection of atoms in motion" like my homeboy Dickie Dawkins would have us believe, then what we percieve as "free will" is actually not even a will at all, free or enslaved. If everything in existence is a product of mere chance, that means everything in existence is a product of mere chance. That means that you didn't choose your first kiss; it was mere chance. You didn't choose your favorite song; it was mere chance. You didn't choose to do that thing you did that one time that you really liked; it was mere chance. It was all just the reaction of the chemicals in your body interacting with each other, set in motion by the big bang, a result of the mind-bogglingly large domino chain set off when the first molecules exploded out from each other.

In a universe created without meaning or will, meaning and will can never come into existence. If everything is the result of chance, then nothing is the result of purpose - chance has no purpose. It just is.

So free will only exists because God gave it to us, and without God, free will is impossible. (Chew on THAT, Calvinists!)

But now let's move on to the really fun part of Harold's question...

"...knowing that I would sin and go to hell?"

Can you spot where that breaks down?

I'm with it on the "knowing that I would sin" part.

Where I get lost is the "and go to hell" thing.

ESPECIALLY since that comes after the "free will" bit we just talked about!

I don't even know which part makes less sense to me.

On one side we've got the idea that even though it's already been granted in the discussion that God created us with free will, Harold is still apparently choosing to exercise that will in such a way that the God he doesn't believe in would surely condemn him to a Hell he doesn't believe in, and yet the idea of not doing whatever it is that will get him sent to Hell is absurd and childish, a silly notion from the antiquated religion of Harold's parents, which he abandoned long ago after finding true enlightenment.

But the flip side of the coin is that God is somehow to blame for everything. God's the bad guy for creating Harold in the first place, allowing him the opportunity to choose to do things that he knows are bad.

What. In. The. World.

If you have free will... and you think the things that you're doing would get you sent to hell... why are you doing them?

Isn't the entire point of Hell that bad people go there? Why be a bad person? Why not use your God-given free will to choose to be good?

I don't have any problem holding God accountable for the earthquakes in Japan. I don't have any problem holding God accountable for the horrible droughts and famine throughout the world. I don't even have a problem holding God accountable for (most) health problems that people face in their lives.

But trying to put God on trial for your own actions?

Saying that it's God's fault that you're going to Hell, because YOU chose to use the free will you were given to do the things that send you there?

That's just plain ignorant.

And it seems to be purposeful ignorance at that.

It seems to me that there is a tendency among people who reject God (at least the God of Christianity) to reject Him on grounds that are completely without foundation.

Consider the game of Monopoly. Now let's say that I have a friend who refuses to play Monopoly, and doesn't hesitate to let me know it. After a while, things seem like they've lined up right for me to be able to ask why there's such a vehement opposition to Monopoly, and I finally get my answer: it's because you get to go again every time you roll doubles, which means that one player could possibly just keep rolling doubles and their turn never stop, which is completely unfair.

Now, for those of you who know the game of Monopoly, I am pretty sure you've spotted the flaw in that argument: after you roll doubles for the third time, you go to Jail. This is a part of the rules of the game. Rejecting the game because of a problem that has already been addressed within the rules of the game itself is a pretty dumb reason to reject a game, right?

So why doesn't that logic apply to God?

People raise objections to God that have already been covered by God! If you're going to use the Bible as a rap sheet for God, pulling out stories and ideas that condemn Him to unworthiness of worship, then the rest of the Bible has to be admissible as evidence as well. And what does the rest of the Bible say about that? Oh, yeah... GOD'S IN CHARGE.

I really can't express to you enough just how much I do not understand atheism.

I can understand what it is just fine. I get the concept. I follow the arguments so far as I can understand the words and what they mean in syntax. But I just do not get how it all comes together to be a sustainable worldview.

It just doesn't make sense to me.

I wonder if that's a good thing. I wonder if that means that my faith is so concrete that I can't even fathom a universe without God. I wonder if it just means I'm an idiot.

Refusing Richard: One Christian's Take on the Dawkins Delusion

2011-04-20T11:13:00.003-05:00

If you're not familiar with him already, I'd like to introduce you to a man named Richard Dawkins.

Richard Dawkins is a brilliant man, highly educated in his field, internationally recognized by more universities and fellowships than you can shake a stick at.

But he's also a complete jerk.

Now, I've never met Dawkins, so I'll admit that my opinion of him is based on secondary sources - interviews, documentaries, books, etc... - as opposed to an actual one-on-one interaction with the man, but I think it's pretty safe to say he's not a very nice man, especially if the way he treats Christians is any indication of his true character.

"Faith is a deliberate process of non-thinking and there is a profound contradiction between science and religious belief."

- Dawkins, in The God Delusion as well as other places.

"Faith is not allowed to justify itself by argument."

- Dawkins, in "Lecture from the Nullifidian"

"In a universe of blind physical forces and genetic replication some people are going to get hurt, other people are going to get lucky, and you won't find any rhyme or reason in it, nor any justice. The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at the bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil and no other good. Nothing but blind pitiless indifference. DNA neither knows nor cares. DNA just is. And we dance to its music."

- Dawkins, from Out of Eden

"The universe is nothing but a collection of atoms in motion, human beings are simply machines for propagating DNA, and the propagation of DNA is a self-sustaining process. It is every living object's sole reason for living."

- Dawkins, "Growing Up in the Universe" lecture series

In his "Viruses of the Mind" essay, Dawkins compares theistic belief (specifically Christianity) to a computer virus which must be eradicated in order to further the advancement of the human race, because as it stands now, we're shackled by a primitive belief in a God on equal footing with the tooth fairy and Santa Claus.

Now, here's the point I'd like to make about Dawkins himself: by reducing faith to an absurdist position that cannot be defended by argument, Dawkins sets himself up as the clear victor in any discussion of theism versus atheism. In fact, the majority of Dawkins' prowess as a debater is based solely on the fact that he quite famously refuses to debate Creationists. Despite any other flaws he may have, Dawkins is no idiot. He sets up ground rules that are designed to automatically put him above any reproach from anyone who disagrees with him.

First, he dismisses any logical credibility of faith, completely dismissing the beliefs of Plato, Descartes, Kierkegaard, and countless other philosophers throughout history who assert (rightly) that logic itself is called into question in a non-theistic worldview. Dawkins himself even states that there is no rhyme or reason in this universe, removing his own foundation from under him.

Second, in his insistence that all life is merely the self-replicating and purposeless dance of DNA, if we follow that to its logical conclusion (which, again, Dawkins has already pointed to), then good and evil are completely arbitrary terms that have no basis in anything but the "blind pitiless indifference" of the universe - meaning that good and evil are merely the products of chance, devoid of any meaning. To insist, then, that a belief in God is evil is to deny my DNA the right to its own dance, and is quite a bit like insisting that any time a die lands with the 6 facing up, we should do everything within our power to make sure that the 6 never comes up again. And that's to say nothing of the DNA dance of Hitler.

Third (and this is where things get REALLY sticky), Dawkins completely oversteps the boundaries of any logic on either side of the discussion by insisting on the non-existence of God. Just because Dawkins' faith is that there is no God, that doesn't mean that it isn't still faith. Atheistic philosopher Kai Nielsen even says the following: "All the proofs of God's existence may fail, but it still may be the case that God exists." Dawkins ignores this point and takes a leap of faith into the realm of aggressive atheism which he adamantly insists is the only correct view for humanity.

Dawkins in fact is that which he claims to hate the most: a closed-minded intellectual bigot, insisting loudly that everyone recognize that he's right while refusing to entertain the notion that he even COULD be wrong.

And that's why I think I've decided to stop listening at the exact moment people begin to quote Dawkins.

If I were having a discussion with an atheist about the origins of life and only used the Bible as my proof text for Creation, I would - rightly - be laughed out of the room. If all I'm doing is quoting the same book over and over because I already believe what it says and it says what I already believe and I won't ever consider positions to the contrary, then I'm a closed-minded buffoon, a dark spot of ignorance on the countenance of Christianity, an easy target of ridicule from atheists eager to paint Christianity as a religion of ignorance.

But when an atheist dogmatically quotes Dawkins and goes out of the way to avoid conceding the POSSIBILITY that Dawkins might be wrong... that's enlightenment? That's intelligence? That's reasonable?

For all his scientific sound and fury, Dawkins still signifies nothing. Nowhere in his vehement hatred of the God he doesn't believe in has he laid out significant evidence for the non-existence of God. Understanding HOW a DNA strand is made doesn't have a thing in the world to do with WHY it was made.

Blessed are the meek... But does meekness mean I have to roll over and take it when the arguments presented against my faith are inherently absurd?

I don't know where the balance is. I don't know how to be humble in the face of the fact that I'm right. God is real. How do I say that with humility? When it comes to Dawkins, do I even have to worry about that? Is there a difference between arrogance and boldness?

How are we supposed to present the Truth when the world is so eager to believe a lie?

The next few posts are going to be about some of the God questions people have asked me. I know there's a lot of material out there from people way, way, WAY smarter than me, but it's gonna do me some good to write it all out and see the holes in my own thinking. And hopefully you'll join in on the conversation and let me know where I'm completely wrong. I know I've already got a few folks champing at the bit to support Dawkins, but that's to be expected. He's infallible, after all.

I don't know all the answers, but I do know the Truth, and I think that counts for a lot. I love you. Even if you quote Dawkins.

Repeated viewings of "The Big Lebowski" as a model for Christian maturity

2011-04-13T00:27:00.004-05:00

I'd like to start this post off with a big ol' DISCLAIMER:

The Big Lebowski is rated R. It's got a ton of language, some sexual content, a few instances of brief nudity, and a scene of mild violence. I am fully aware of the content of the movie, and I want you to be aware of it (if you're not) so that you can decide on your own if you would enjoy the movie. If watching an R rated movie disturbs your conscience, please do not take this post as encouragement for you to see the movie, as that is not at all my intent.

Just so we're all clear here - if you don't approve of this kind of movie, don't watch it. And then go read I Corinthians 10 and 12, plus Romans 14.

Everybody else...

The first time I saw The Big Lebowski, I was a senior in high school. I enjoyed it for the most part. It was funny, but incredibly confusing. The plot is... convoluted, to say the least. I enjoyed the movie, but I wasn't blown away.

Flash forward to my sophomore year at Harding. My roommate Matt and our friend Duane watched Lebowski every weekend without fail. Each time we watched it, we found more and more to laugh at. It wasn't long before we had the whole movie memorized, dropping quotes when appropriate (or inappropriate) in everyday conversation.

But I've never known anybody who saw Lebowski for the first time and immediately loved it. The single universal constant seems to be that it takes at least a second viewing to really get what makes The Big Lebowski such an amazing comedy. It's not at all about the plot - it's about the characters. It's about the endlessly quotable script. It's about the absurdities of the chain of events that fall on the completely inept Dude, the outrageously overzealous Walter, and poor innocent Donnie, always out of his element.

The movie didn't change - I did.

And just in case you haven't put the metaphor together on your own yet, here's where the Christianity part comes in: sometimes there are things that we're just not ready for. Sometimes there are things that we've got to experience a few times before it really clicks. Sometimes we've got to learn a lesson the hard way - by having it pounded into our thick skulls over and over and over again.

By the time you read this, I'll be in Texas*. I've been... anticipating this, anxious for it, eager for it... for a very long time now. Not Texas, but a chance to do what I know to the core of my heart, soul, mind, and every fiber of my being to be the purpose God put me on this earth to fulfill - the furtherance of His Kingdom among the lost of the world.

There's been a lot of pain over the past couple of years. I've experienced serious personal turmoil, some major disappointment, and heartbreak that completely redefined who I am as a person.

And maybe the whole point was to get me to learn something.

As I embark on another major transition in my life - not just geographically, but also personally - I can only hope that I've learned the lessons I needed to learn. I hope I've finally figured out another part of continually letting God take total control of my life, since that's the only thing that ever brings me peace. I hope I've figured out a bit more of how to be humble in sharing the truth with those who need to hear it, because that's the only way they'll ever listen to me. I hope above all that I've learned that the right thing to do - even when it's hard, especially when it's hard - is to Love Others the way God Loves me, because that's the one thing in life that makes any difference at all.

I've learned some lessons through tears and anguish, some through the complete dissolution of friendships once held dear, some through the inevitable barrage of the far-too-real world and the Law of Unintended Consequences.

But what makes it all worth it is the hope and faith that one day I'll actually understand it all. One day I'll have learned the lesson and taken it to heart. One day - hopefully in the not-too-distant future, I will look back on everything that has beaten me down, held me to the hottest core of the flames, beaten me into a shape wholly foreign to where I began, and held me under the water until the bubbles stopped, and see that the beatings, the fire, the reshaping, the plunges into the cold, wet, hopeless darkness... One day I will see that it all served to shape me into a more perfect version of the man that God wants me to be.

And that brings me hope.

* - Or not. Car broke down in Arkadelphia. Waiting on Corwin to get here from Arlington to tow me the rest of the way down.

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My To-Do List

2011-04-04T15:38:00.004-05:00

So apparently I just dreamed telling people this, and I'm very sorry, but I could have sworn I said something about it...

I'll be in Texas by the time you read the next post.

Got some things I that need taken care of before I leave, so I've been working on my To-Do list.

Here's what I've got so far:

Laundry
Packing
A sincere, honest, piercing look into my own soul to address the weaknesses I find there by bringing them to God in earnest prayer

I need to be better about not condescending to atheists for their beliefs.

I need to read more of the Bible more often instead of just re-reading the parts I feel good about because they don't challenge me as much as they challenge everybody else that I think is getting it wrong. I still mess up, so there are some things I need to be reading more often.

I need to remember that even if my argument is theologically, philosophically, and cosmologically airtight - if it's an argument on Facebook, it probably doesn't matter.

I need to be more consistent in my prayer life.

I need to find the right balance between "genuinely engaging others around me in thoughtful, respectful conversations about faith and metaphysics" and "standing on the corner outside Walgreens with a megaphone, a KJV Bible, and 14 kids dressed like the Amish and holding protest signs." Just crazy enough that I'll get noticed, but not so crazy that I'm immediately written off as a complete nut.

I need to hold on to the confidence of speaking the Truth through the Spirit of God instead of doubting myself as soon as things get hard.

I need to truly accept that some people just won't believe, no matter how persuading a case I present.

I need to continue to love people that just won't believe.

I need to wait for God's plans to come to fruition in His own time instead of insisting that everything happen now if not sooner.

I need to remember that even the Pharisees were trying to please God. Assigning villainy where there is merely ignorance does not lead to loving conversations.

I need to realize that it's OK for other people to not think I'm right so long as I'm right with God, but more importantly, that it's OK for me to not think they're right so long as they're right with God, too.

I need to make sure that the things that I claim to do for God are still being done for God and not doing it just to do it.

I need to focus on now.

I need to Love God.

I need to Love Others.

I need to put another load in.

The Big Man, the Big Bang, and the Big Question

2011-03-30T13:30:00.005-05:00

Space... is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.

- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

So where did it all come from?

For the sake of simplicity of the discussion, let's consider two possibilities for the origin of everything:

the Biblical account found in Genesis 1:1 - "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."
the Big Bang theory and all that it entails, as it is the most widespread, standard, and uniformly accepted scientific model.

OK, so which is right?

Or are both of them right?

Does the truth of one define the falsity of the other?

Notice that my reference to the Biblical account is limited to Genesis 1:1. "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Is that verse any less true if God used the Big Bang to do it?

I've had this conversation before, and I've had it on three different levels, and I'm pretty sure you fall into one of the following three categories.

Category 1: The Big Bang theory disproves the Biblical account because...

I didn't finish that header because I don't really know what to put there. I know that there are a lot of people out there who consider the Big Bang theory to be sufficient evidence against the presence of a Creator, but the problem is that there are some pretty substantial leaps in reasoning being taken here. Just because science has developed a theory - a pretty plausible one, based on the evidence that we have at this point - that explains the mechanics of the creation of the universe, does that mean that God didn't create it?

This line of thinking, as logically shaky as it may be, is unfortunately very prevalent in the world today. There are plenty of people whose beliefs hinge upon the idea that because we know how the universe was created, there is therefore no Creator.

This would be similar to finding a 1908 Model T in the middle of a factory in Dearborn, Michigan, along with filmed footage of the assembly line production of said Model T...

...and then using this as evidence to denounce the existence of Henry Ford.

Category 2: The Biblical account disproves the Big Bang theory because that's not how the Bible says it happened.

The objection here is that the idea of the Big Bang goes against the rest of the Genesis creation account found in Genesis 1:2-3:24, up to the expulsion from the Garden of Eden.

This is an understandable objection at first, as it stems from a desire to hold the Bible up as an accurate and reliable source of truth, but it falls apart under closer scrutiny.

Consider some scripture with me.

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.

- Psalm 19:1-4

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

- II Timothy 3:16-17

If Psalm 19 is true, which I believe it is, we should be able to learn about the glory of God, the incredible power of God, the awe-inspiring works of God, through our study of the universe, right?

Well... The study of the universe, even on a very, very, very elementary level without having to get into any crazy deep science, tells us that the universe is several billions of years old, standing in stark opposition to the roughly 6,000 years projected by Ussher's chronology, the model accepted by "Young Earth" creationists who take the Genesis account a good bit more literally than I do.

But if II Timothy 3:16-17 is true, which I believe it is, doesn't that mean that I'm contradicting myself by not believing in the literal 6 day creation of the earth as presented in Genesis?

Well... I certainly don't think so!

And that brings me to...

Category 3: What if the Big Bang is actually how God created everything?

I don't want to go so far as to say that I don't believe that there was an actual, literal, temporal Garden of Eden, or that there weren't actually an Adam and Eve...

But I will go ahead and say I don't think it really matters, because that's not the point of the story anyway.

Paul tells Timothy that Scripture is useful for "teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness" - which is exactly what I believe the Genesis account is to be used for.

When I read Genesis, I'm not reading it to understand how God created everything, I'm reading it to understand why He created everything the way He did and what it means for the way I'm supposed to behave. That's a very important distinction that I think we've slipped away from understanding.

Do I believe that God created the universe? Entirely! Wholly! Completely! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

But do I believe that the point of the Genesis account is to tell us the names of the first four people in the world? No. Goodness no. Merciful heavens, no. Not at all.

What good would that knowledge do me in my pursuit of holiness? What benefit comes from my knowing that the Garden was located between the Tigris, Euphrates, Pishon and Gihon rivers? Especially since we only know where the Tigris and Euphrates are!

But you know, there's a lot I can learn from the story of temptation, rebellion, holiness, punishment...

And I believe that's the part that matters.

Do I believe the Genesis account is true? Yes, I do. Just like I believe the parable of the Good Samaritan is true.

Do I believe that there actually was a man lying in a ditch, and that an actual priest and Levite passed him by, and that an actual Samaritan came and took care of him, transcending issues of racial prejudice and extending God's Love to a fellow human being?

Well... No. I think it was just a story that Jesus told to illustrate the point of Loving our neighbors by showing us that Love crosses all boundaries.

But if it's "just a story that Jesus told," does that mean it's not true?

What if the first 5 chapters of Genesis are "just a story"? Does that mean it's not true?

Does that mean God didn't create the universe and everything in it?

Or does it maybe mean that there's a bigger truth behind it all?

Please, don't think for a second that I'm trying to dismiss the credibility of the Bible. I'm not at all trying to do anything close to that.

What I'm trying to say is that maybe we're in one of those "forest vs. trees" situations.

Maybe the point isn't that God created the earth in 144 hours and then took a day off. Maybe the point is that God created the earth and instilled it with order so that we could learn to submit to and worship Him.

And maybe the point isn't that Jesus died for our sins so we can be forgiven and then we can be good people and then we can take part in the Kingdom of Heaven forever. Maybe the point is that Jesus died for the world's sin so the world can be forgiven and then the world can be good people and then the world can take part in the Kingdom of Heaven forever.

Maybe the point isn't that we are the people God called to leave this place because it's so terrible. Maybe the point is that we are the people God called to love this place so it will be better tomorrow than it was today.

I believe that Genesis 1:1 is one of the most important verses in the Bible. If the listener believes that verse to be true, then everything else falls into place. An understanding of morality as defined by the Creator of the Universe makes sense because, after all, He created the Universe. I think that gives Him license to tell us how to behave.

I've heard people in Category 1 say that the Big Bang disproves the existence of God solely based upon the fact that the Big Bang doesn't fit the 6 day creation account.

I've heard people in Category 2 say that God planted false evidence in the fossil record and the background radiation of the universe to confuse the scientists into thinking the earth is older than the Bible says it is so we'd have to choose between trusting God or trusting science.

And what I don't understand is how either of those goes with or against the simple truth that all we are asked to do... the only thing that matters... the whole point of God telling us the story in the first place... is to Love God and Love Others.

At least, that's the way I see it.

A few thoughts about making sense

2011-03-23T15:56:00.006-05:00

I promise, the following conversations actually happened. To avoid embarrassing people who I know don't read my blog anyway, I have omitted names.

First off... The Kid. He was 17 years old at the time of this conversation, and he's a good kid for the most part - he just has the unfortunate luck of being surrounded by a group of friends who make being an atheist the popular choice. His whole family is regularly involved in the church, but The Kid is an atheist, and his atheism exists entirely because he has decided that he's an atheist.

Here's a late-night discussion between me and The Kid:

Me: So let's just be point blank about it... You don't believe in God, right?

The Kid: Right.

Me: Any particular reason why not?

The Kid: Well, it just doesn't make sense to me.

Me: OK. I can see that. I can understand that it's a pretty big thing to take in. So let me ask you this, then... Do you believe in the scientific theory of the Big Bang?

The Kid: Yeah.

Me: OK, good. So which makes more sense to you, then? That the universe and everything in it came from absolutely nothing, or that there was a Creator behind it all?

The Kid: Well, I don't believe in God, so I guess it has to be that it came from nothing.

Me: Really? You sound a little hesitant there. It really makes more sense to you that everything came from nothing than that there would be a Creator?

The Kid: Well... I guess not...

Me: So you agree that it's pretty logical to assume that God made the Universe?

The Kid: ...yeah, I guess so.

Me: So does that change your mind about God at all?

The Kid: No.

Me: Wait, wait, wait... You just said that you believe that it makes more sense for God to have created the universe than not, and yet you still don't believe in God? Why not?

The Kid: Because I just don't.

Me: You do realize that, by your own definitions, your beliefs don't make any sense, right?

The Kid: That's OK, they're my beliefs.

Me: Well, you definitely have a point there.

_______________________________________________

The less I tell you about The Girl, the better. But we did have the following conversation.

The Girl: It makes me so mad that you always know you're right.

Me: Well... Yeah. I mean, I can see that. I know arrogance is definitely one of my weaknesses. I'm really trying to work on it. I'm sorry.

The Girl: No, no, that's not what I mean. I mean, yes, you are arrogant. But that's not what I'm talking about. I hate it when you know you're right.

Me: Uhhh... You mean... like... when I'm actually right?

The Girl: Yeah.

Me: And... and when these moments come up that I know that I'm right because I actually happen to be right... do you know that I'm right?

The Girl: Yeah.

Me: So... Let me see if I'm getting this... If I'm right... and we both know I'm right... you're mad at me?

The Girl: Yeah.

Me: ...why?

The Girl: Because it means I'm wrong. That's why I hate hearing you talk about God. If you're right about God, which you probably are, then I'm wrong, and that means I have to change a lot of things.

Me: But you already think that I'm probably right about God?

The Girl: Yeah.

Me: And yet you're choosing to believe things that you already know are probably wrong?

The Girl: Yeah.

Me: Why?

The Girl: Because I don't want to have to change anything. And I also don't want you to be right.

Me: Well... That's a valid reason, I guess...

_______________________________________________

I didn't put these up out of a spirit of mockery, but to point out the fact that sometimes people are operating with a dangerously misguided understanding of reality that hinges not on the evidence for reality itself but, instead, their own personal preferences.

Consider this quote from Robert Jastow's God and the Astronomers:

There is a kind of religion in science; it is the religion of a person who believes there is order and harmony in the Universe. Every event can be explained in a rational way as the product of some previous event; every effect must have its cause; there is no First Cause... This religious faith of the scientist is violated by the discovery that the world had a beginning under conditions in which the known laws of physics are not valid, and as a product of forces or circumstances we cannot discover. When that happens the scientist has lost control. If he really examined the implications, he would be traumatized.

The "traumatizing implications" here are that the evidence of the beginning of the physical universe coming completely out of nothing strongly points to the possibility - even probability - of a Creator. If a scientist is truly open to all possibilities in the search for Truth, then the possibility of God must be acknowledged as feasible. But if the question is approached from a position of believing that God isn't a possible answer in the first place, no amount of evidence will change that scientist's mind.

(Incidentally... From about 300 years before the birth of Christ to roughly 100 years ago, the standard accepted scientific model was the Aristotelian view that the universe is infinite and eternal, without beginning, simply existing forever. So for something over 2,000 years, science stood in judgment of the Abrahamic religions' belief that the universe was in fact a created thing, temporal and with a beginning. The widespread acceptance of the theory of the Big Bang as the standard of universal origin was a step closer to a scientific agreement with the Bible, not a step away as so many people seem to believe.)

It's easy to point out that a non-theistic worldview is challenged by the evidences for the existence of God, but I don't think that all that many atheists read my stuff. (If I'm wrong, hi! I'm glad you're here. God Loves you, even if you don't think He exists!) But the problem I'm specifically wondering about is how we address fellow Christians whose belief systems are leading them down dangerous paths.

For example... Consider Romans 14 and Paul's thoughts about "the weak and the strong." In my journey through Christendom, I have at times definitely been the person whose faith allows him to eat anything. I understand that it is my responsibility to use discretion through Love for my brothers and sisters to avoid placing any stumbling block in their path, but the entire point of that chapter is actually that it is the responsibility of the weaker brother or sister to not judge the stronger.

So why have we come to a point in our churches today where we exclusively cater to the weak? Why do we allow them to remain weak, instead of encouraging them to grow stronger?

If we're going to claim that our faith is based on the Bible, we've got to actually follow the Bible in order for that to be true.

And there are just some things we're doing these days that really don't make any sense.

Since when did Christianity become the religion of teetotalers? Doesn't Jesus make water into wine? (John 2:1-11) Doesn't Jesus, in fact, drink? And drink enough that the Pharisees accuse Him of being a drunkard? (Luke 7:18-35) Doesn't the Bible actually encourage people to drink a bit when they're down in the dumps? (Proverbs 31:6-7)

So why is there this largely unspoken yet very real disapproval of Christians responsibly enjoying alcoholic beverages?

Or what about dress codes at church? Since when was dressing nice a requirement? Doesn't James specifically say that it's wrong to treat people differently because of what they wear? (James 2:1-13) Don't Peter and Paul specifically say that we shouldn't try to impress people with our clothes? (I Peter 3:3, I Timothy 2:9) Doesn't Jesus pretty explicitly tell us to not worry about our clothes? (Matthew 6:25-34)

Those are the easy ones.

What about the way the modern church at large treats homosexuals? When are we gonna start Loving them as we Love ourselves?

What about the way guys like Joel Osteen promote the idea that God wants you to be comfortable with your money instead of reminding us that we're actually called to use it more on others than we do on ourselves?

When are we going to actually start calling each other out on our sins - in grace, truth, and Love, of course - instead of hiding behind the idea that we don't want to appear judgmental? There is an enormous difference between judging someone as a bad person and telling someone that they are doing a bad thing.

I have been working on this post all day. Normally, I get something started or I pick up on an idea that I've already got written down, and within two hours, I'm finished. Not this one. I've been going all day. I've passed the 10 hour mark. There are so many things that I just want to understand, so many things that we do that just don't make any sense. I just want to see us stop.

I'll be honest, there are times when I feel like I'm putting something up just to put something up. This is one of them. It's not that I'm trying to fill space, it's just that I am so confused by what Christianity has become, especially when I look at what it is meant to be, that I don't even know how to begin to address it.

Love God, Love Others. That's it.

My brain is tired. So is my butt.

Maybe next week I'll make some sense.

Intent vs. Interpretation

2011-03-16T17:16:00.003-05:00

I'm gonna pick on my buddy Will here for a minute.

Back in January of 2010, I wrote a short story entitled "Their Only Date" (link is to Facebook). If you haven't read it, please do, because I'm about to spoil the ending for you, and once that's out of the bag, the story just really loses whatever impact it has.

Seriously, you need to read it to get what I'm talking about here.

Last chance before I ruin everything.

And now it is on your own head.

Some days or whatever after I had written that story, Will and I were doing what we do - not very much at all - and he brought it up, saying that he had enjoyed it. He went on to tell me that he had appreciated not only the effort I'd put into it, but the emotional honesty behind it. He told me that he could see me working through some then-recent heartbreak by expressing my feelings in the story of two people who seemed to be perfect for each other and were just fated to not be together for whatever small reason. Though the story itself is funny (or at least I meant it to be funny - no telling whether it actually is or not), the pain was real enough, and by addressing my own pain through a filter of humor, he could see how I was taking a big step on the road to my own personal recovery.

I sat and listened as Will expounded on his theory behind the meaning of my small literary effort. Once he was done, I let him in on the deeper truth behind the story.

"Uhh... it's about nerd feuds, man..."

"Wait... What? Are you serious? Is that it?"

"Well... Yeah. I mean... I'm flattered that you can see that much depth in something that I wrote, but I promise you, man... at the end of the day, it's about nerds. The chick likes Star Trek and the dude likes Star Wars, so they can't be with each other. They're nerds."

"So the whole thing is just an elaborately told joke?"

"Yeah."

We sat in silence for a second as Will let that revelation sink in.

"Well, that's disappointing! I liked my version a lot better."

And like I said - I was impressed that he saw that much depth in something that held no more meaning to me than to say that sometimes people get silly about their passions, which is something that anybody who knows me can readily attest to.

Before I go any further, I'd like to make something extraordinarily clear, just in case there's anybody reading who doesn't know this just yet: I'm not a "Biblical scholar." I can't read Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic. I don't know all the theories about the sources and dating of the Biblical text. When it comes to the academic approach to the text of the Scriptures, I am definitely not what anyone could call with any degree of truth a "well-educated individual."

But just the same... I know how to read my Bible, and I make a regular habit of doing just that.

And as I continue to read my Bible and grow in my own understanding of what it means, a question keeps coming to my mind over and over and over again: Is it possible that we're making Christianity a little bit more complicated than Jesus actually meant for it to be?

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested Him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

- Matthew 22:34-40

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.

- John 13:34-35

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right.

- James 2:8

But whoever loves God is known by God.

- I Corinthians 8:3

I was in Searcy a couple weeks back and got to talking pretty late with some of the fellas. As usually happens with us in those 2 AM think tanks, we got to talking about what it means to actually be Christian the way God wants us to be Christian.

The consensus was there among all of us that there is nothing more to it than to Love God and Love Others. We all felt pretty confident in saying that, and we all felt that there was more than enough Scripture to back us up in our belief.

The challenging part of the discussion, however, was in determining what it actually means to Love God and Love Others. I feel safe in saying that this has been the same unique challenge for all Christendom over the past two millennia.

Again, I feel the need to stress to you that I am by no means a Biblical scholar.

But all the same... I think I can say, with some pretty solid ideological and Scriptural footing, that we have collectively fallen short of the intent because we've been so busy focusing on the interpretation.

Denominations argue and bicker amongst themselves while the hungry remain hungry and the naked remain naked.

Fights over the timing and purpose of baptism confuse and frustrate those considering Christianity to the point that they abandon the Truth altogether.

A man enters a church for the first time in three decades and sits by himself because he doesn't have the right clothes on.

A church cancels a job interview with one of God's most dedicated, loving, and humble servants because of a controversial yet Biblically sound view that can't even be seen by the public anymore, just in case anybody's offended by the truth.

I realize that I'm not really saying anything new this week. As you probably figured out from "Their First Date," a lot of what I write is a big theatrical presentation centered around one simple idea. And unfortunately, I don't really think that this is gonna do a lot of good in the first place - the type of people I'm actually the maddest at don't read my blog, and even if they did, they're not the kind of folks who are going to accept the opinion of a guy who thinks it's OK to wear tie-dyed shirts to church on Sunday morning. This, of course, is part of why I'm mad at them in the first place, and so the whole cycle just repeats itself in a sort of passive-aggressive standoff.

But I do hope that it can encourage you to be a part of the solution. And more than that, I hope it will remind me to do the same.

Like I said... I'm not really getting at anything earth-shattering here... I really just want to see people stop screwing it up.

Questions of interpretation matter. I get that. I really do. In fact, it's been kind of a hot topic lately with some of the folks I talk to, specifically in address to the question of whether or not homosexuality is a sin. If the Bible has been misinterpreted and homosexuality isn't actually a sin, then hey, we've got a lot of stuff to re-think. But if the interpretation of Scripture has been accurate, at least in the broad strokes, over the past 5,000 years, I think we're pretty safe in saying that yeah, homosexuality is still a sin.

But here's the kicker: whether it is or isn't, we're still called to Love God and Love Others. That's the point. That's what it's all about. That's why God created us, that's why Jesus came down, that's why He died, that's why He was resurrected, that's why anything that is, is.

Love God, Love Others.

If your interpretation says anything other than that, I've got news for you: YOUR INTERPRETATION IS WRONG.

Led Zeppelin t-shirts, Jesus fish, and other things that tick me off

2011-03-09T02:43:00.006-06:00

One of the greatest frustrations in my life is that this shirt does not come in XXXL.

Look at it. It is a thing of beauty. That winged fella there is Icarus, the "mascot" (I guess) of Led Zeppelin's Swan Song Records label. The 1977 tour referenced was the last US tour Zep ever made, and it was a MONSTER. I've got some bootlegs as well as a few official live recordings pieced together from that tour... and wow. Led Zeppelin. Dang.

I know it hasn't been that long since I wrote about Led Zeppelin, and that last post wasn't the first time they've come up on the blog, so I hope you'll forgive me going back to the (nigh upon bottomless) well of my passion for Led Zeppelin in trying to illustrate some point to you about God.

So I wanna tell you a story about this kid I met a few years ago, after I went back to Harding. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I was at this lunch thing at the campus ministry's Rock House. In coming back to Harding after a year gone, most of my friends had graduated or drifted off in other directions, so I really just didn't know a ton of people. I was trying to be somewhat more social, trying to mingle in with more people, trying to connect... and in walks this kid with the shirt pictured.

BAM. Conversation starter. Yes. Something for me to go on. A potential in-roads to a connection with another human being. (Or so I thought.)

I am not saying that I'm automatically going to be buddies with a dude just because he likes Led Zeppelin, but the chances are a LOT higher that I'll get along with the guy in the Zep shirt than the guy in the KISS Army shirt. It's just a foothold, something I can latch on to, something that I am extraordinarily passionate about, something that - if all else fails - I can engage in conversation over for HOURS.

So I found myself sitting across from this kid - maybe all of 19 years old, versus my 24 at the time - and just casually said, "So... what's your favorite Zep album?"

"Huh?"

"Your shirt. The shirt there. You a big Led Zeppelin fan?"

"Oh, uhhh... No, not really... I just like the shirt. A lot of my friends have it, so I picked one up. It's vintage."

Oh, the rage. Oh, the unbearable, unspeakable, unstoppable rage.

Where is the fairness in that? Here's this 5'4" twerp, maybe 140 pounds if he's holding a 50 pound sack of dog food, doing his dead-level best to look like Harry Potter stumbled through Goodwill on a shopping spree specifically engineered to make high school girls think he doesn't care about his looks, wearing a shirt - dare I say PROFANING a shirt - that I would gladly amputate a limb to have in my size. (Not one of my limbs... that'd just be silly.)

And it's not like I'm saying the kid's got to be on "my level" of fandom to earn the right to wear the shirt or anything... But at least, you know, be able to name an album or something... And it's not like that's a hard task, either... The first three albums are all called Led Zeppelin, so it's really hard to mess up... The fourth album doesn't even have a name... Come on, kid.

At the end of the day, am I just jealous because some kid doesn't care about the band on the shirt that he's wearing? Yes. But at the same time, it really gets under my skin because I enjoy Led Zeppelin so much and take their music so seriously to heart and have nothing to tangibly show the world "YES! I AM COMPLETELY NUTS ABOUT LED ZEPPELIN!" And then there's this kid who doesn't even come close to pretending he cares about the band, and he gets the shirt. He wants to look like he cares about Led Zeppelin - specifically because of the added bonus of looking "vintage" - but at the end of the day, all he cares about is the look. It doesn't actually affect his life one way or another what's on the shirt, so long as the design of the shirt is popular. The label didn't have any relation to the contents of the package.

And now a story that I assure you is completely unrelated.

I was driving with Dad to Arkansas last week and as we went through Memphis, we wound up going through a construction zone. This isn't really a surprise... I don't think I've ever been through Memphis when there wasn't interstate construction in progress... But this time, there was plenty of warning about the upcoming construction zone. There were construction signs on the side of the road warning drivers that the left lane was closed 5 miles out. The overhead traffic advisory signs were warning us that the left lane was closed 3 miles out. The road cones started showing up 2 miles out, in addition to more signs. And then you know the rest. "LEFT LANE CLOSED 1 MILE" led to "LEFT LANE CLOSED 1/2 MILE" and then "LEFT LANE CLOSED 1000 FEET" and then... you know... the left lane closed.

So for the entirety of the five miles since that first sign proclaiming that the left lane would be closed, there's this fancy SUV thing hovering next to me in the left lane. I'm not usually a very aggressive driver in the first place, and with Dad sleeping in the passenger seat and Pink Floyd coming through the speakers, I was in an even more chilled-out mood than usual. So for all five of those five miles since the first hint of warning for the upcoming lane closure of doom, I've been rolling along at a steady pace, keeping a ridiculous amount of room between myself and the car in front of me. Seriously, at times it was at least a quarter of a mile. There was room for the guy to my left to get over, as well as several other guys to my left who may or may not have existed.

But you wanna know what happened? As the countdown kept going - 5 miles, 4 miles, 3 miles - the guy stayed there. Once the traffic barrels showed up - 2 miles, 1 mile, 1/2 mile - the guy just stayed there. Once the lane closure was actually immediately visible - 2000 feet, 1000 feet, 500 feet - he still didn't do anything, and I'm still leaving enough room to drive a truck through, which is a figure of speech that somehow loses its power when actually talking about traffic.

So what else was going to happen but the inevitable: once we actually got to the point of no return where the lane is closed and the barrels are blocking off the lane, this guy floors it, cuts me off, clips one of the barrels with his fender, slams on his brakes to avoid ramming the guy in front of him, forcing me to slam on my brakes, causing a whole shockwave jam in traffic and screwing things up for everybody.

And that's when I saw the Jesus fish on the rear bumper.

I'll be honest - I don't really have the highest of expectations for the majority of the people in the world. I kinda operate on the assumption that most everybody out there is a first-class jerk who would just as soon punch a baby as extend kindness to a stranger. I don't think this way because I view myself as so much better, but because it helps me keep my cool. If I already expect 99% of the world to be completely awful, I'm not all that angered with 75% of the world that actually lives up to that expectation, and I'm in fact grateful for the 24% that surprised me.

But I really, really, really wish I didn't ever have to see this kind of behavior from somebody who is proclaiming with a little magnetic ΙΧΘΥΣ that they're supposed to be cut from a different cloth than the rest of the world. Apparently that fish held nothing more than strictly ornamental purposes, because it sure didn't affect the way the guy drove. As the traffic slowed to a crawl, I watched this guy weave in and out of lanes, cheat by driving on the shoulder, cut off several other drivers, doing everything he could to ignore the fact that "the first will be last and the last will be first."

I could bust out a ton of scripture here (Matthew 23, James 1:22-25 and 2:14-26, Revelation 3:1-6, 14-21, just for starters) about how it's not enough to look like you're following God, you've actually got to do something about it.

We've come to a point (and it's not like this happened recently) where Christianity is just enough of a social norm that a lot of people want to look like Christians even if they're not willing to live like Christians. But it's that look that is so important. It's the look that keeps everybody complacent in their faith because of a widespread misunderstanding of what Jesus meant when he was talking about planks and sawdust. It's the look that lets people get away with anything they feel like because they know they've been forgiven and that God wants you to forgive them, too. It's the same look that keeps us all paralyzed, locked in a self-defeating and self-perpetuating cycle of sin and purposeful ignorance.

But what if we stopped just trying to look like it?

What if we actually took the challenge of Christ seriously and stopped caring about what people think of us and just focused on doing what was right?

So many people miss the point of everything in Christianity because they've got their focus on the wrong thing. If you're focused on looking Christian, you're not actually going to do a good job of being Christian, because you're focused on appearances. That's not going to get you anywhere. Jesus said it, Paul said it, Peter said it, James, Jude and John said it, Augustine said it, Francis of Assisi said it, G.K. Chesterton said it, C.S. Lewis said it, and I'm saying it. So pick one of those guys to listen to and knock it off.

Why is it that the people who are the quickest to remind us not to judge are the ones who are the same ones who need to be reminded that there actually is such a thing as right and wrong?

Why is it that there are countless people in the world today who can rattle off verse after verse of the scriptures that point out what YOU are doing wrong, but live in complete ignorance of anything that condemns their own actions?

Y'all... I'm not perfect.

I struggle with a lot of things. I struggle with lust, anger, prejudices, nicotine addiction, insensitivity to the feelings of others, and a great deal many other things that I can't actually come up with right now because another of my many faults is being arrogant enough to think that I'm really not that bad of a guy.

I know I don't have any room to say that I'm any better than anybody else, and I sincerely hope to God that nobody hears me saying that. And I know I can't judge the content of anyone else's heart and decide how sincere that person's faith is (or isn't).

But at the same time... "By their fruit you will recognize them." (Matthew 7:15-20)

So let me leave this post with an open question... When do we call people out? How? Where's the line?

Bear Romans 14 and I Corinthians 10 & 12 in mind, remember the lessons of the meat to idols and our freedom in Christ. But there comes a point where we've gone beyond the boundaries of acceptable celebrations of our uniqueness in Christ and have just lunged headlong into straight up ignoring the Bible and living in sin.

So what do you do?

And does anyone ever actually listen?

Read This Post or I'll Shoot My Cat

2011-03-02T09:25:00.000-06:00

Just take a look at this big, fat ball of hair (the cat, not me). You wouldn't want his death on your conscience, would you? I'm completely serious. Have you ever seen Boondock Saints?

OK, so, now that I've got your attention, I'll go ahead and let you know that I have absolutely zero intention of hurting Deputy. He's my cat. Come on. I'm not gonna shoot my cat. If the post had been about me shooting my sister's dog, you would have had legitimate reason for concern, but I would never purposefully bring even the slightest harm to Deputy, so you can go ahead and stop writing your angry e-mails to the ASPCA and just pay attention.

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The Life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the Eternal Life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.

- I John 1:1-4

That's the prologue to the first of John's epistles. It's a beautifully expressed declaration of the tangible reality of both the person and the divinity of Jesus Christ, and opens up one of my favorite books of the Bible. But for the purposes of this post, I really just want to focus on verse 4: "We write this to make our joy complete."

Proselytizing, evangelizing, whatever you wanna call it - spreading the Gospel, telling others about Jesus, and bringing people into God's presence is an absolutely undeniable part of Christianity. If you're not sharing your Christianity, you're not actually doing your Christianity.

It doesn't have to be so overt as this blog, or so obliviously ineffective as standing on a street corner in a sandwich board and shouting at passers-by, but it's got to happen. That's made perfectly clear throughout the entire New Testament.

But why?

"...to make our joy complete."

I'm sorry to resort to such a low-down dirty trick as pretending to threaten my cat, but I'm just trying to do whatever I can to get you to notice this stuff. It's not so much because I crave an audience as much as it is that I just want to talk to you for a few minutes. I have something to say that I think you would benefit from hearing. I actually think it's important enough that I'm willing to play whatever cards I've got at my disposal just to get you to read at least ONE of these posts, hopefully more. And it's not like I've got any kind of ad revenue coming to me off of this. Facebook definitely ain't payin' me, even though it alone is at least a part-time job just based on the hours I put in each week...

But I do get something from it. I get something of a completion of my joy. I get the thrill of knowing that I've helped people focus on God, maybe even in a way that they never had before. That is awesome for me. And not because it's got anything to do with me, but because it's entirely about you, the one reading this. If you are reading this, I am thrilled. I'm even more thrilled if you're actually absorbing any of it. I'm elated if it challenges you to think about your relationship with Christ and the improvements you can make to it. I'm overjoyed beyond the limitations of the English language to express if, by some movement of the Holy Spirit through me and my keyboard, you - the actual YOU reading this right now, not the general "not me" version of "you" - take a step closer to God that you'd never taken before, whether you've been going to church your whole life or you've never once heard a word of the Bible.

And it doesn't give me all those warm fuzzies because I'm the one that wrote whatever words changed your life. It rocks my gypsy soul for the same reason that the shepherd rejoiced when he found his lost sheep, the woman rejoiced when she found her lost coin, the father rejoiced when his lost son came home, and the Father and all the hosts of angels rejoice when one repentant sinner accepts the Grace of God and steps into the Light.

It makes my joy complete.

If I can be the instrument God chooses to use to bring you, in any way, closer to Him, hey - that's awesome. You will not find me complaining about that. I try not to complain about God using me in general, but that specific use would be pretty solid.

But why? Why does it even matter to me?

Because I fully believe that everybody's life - and I mean everybody-everybody - could be improved by better knowing the Majesty, the Splendor, the Glory, the Holiness, the Power, the Presence, and the unfailing, unending, unmistakable Love of God.

Look, folks... God is... the best. The. Best. Imagine the best thing you've ever experienced. Now go infinitely better. That's a rough picture of the goodness of God. I cannot possibly explain to you in enough detail how good God is. 1) I don't have the words to convey it all, and 2) you don't have the patience to read my futile attempt, which would be so overly verbose that Google would shut me down for clogging up the internet.

I don't know what your relationship with God is like. I hope it's incredible. I hope that whatever you're getting is anything like what I'm getting, because folks, I ain't lying when I tell you that what is happening in my life is so very good that I cannot possibly keep it to myself.

It's Oreos and Led Zeppelin and good Batman comics and perfect air conditioning and the comfiest couch in the world and every other possibility of anything GOOD in this world all rolled up into one inexpressibly perfect thing, and I would feel like an absolute jerk if I kept it to myself.

If you eat at an awesome restaurant, you tell your friends, right?

If you see a mind-blowingly good movie, you tell your friends, right?

If you have goodness, you share it with the people you love, right?

That's what I want to do.

I want to tell you how awesome God is for me, because I know that when you let Him, He will be every bit as awesome for you. I mean that, no matter where you are in your walk with Him. If you're a staunch atheist, I want to talk to you about God. If you've never missed a church service in your life, I want to talk to you about God. If you just don't know where you fit in, I want to talk to you about God.

And I am totally willing to cheat in order to get that done.

Why else would I have been writing posts openly drawing comparisons between God and Batman or God and Eric Clapton?

It's not (exclusively) because of my inability to escape my own nerdiness, but it is because I am trying to do anything I can to get people to read this. I want to talk to you about God. That is my goal. If this means I lure you in with sensationalist headlines about killing my cat, so be it.

Jesus performed miracles for a reason - to get people to listen to Him. The Holy Spirit manifested miraculous gifts in the early church for the exact same reason - to get people's attention and show them the glory of God. Whatever gifts I do have from the Spirit, I have not as yet been able to heal a lame man with my shadow, so I will have to do what I can to bring people in, because I can think of absolutely nothing in existence that could ever be any more fulfilling than to encourage those around me (and, through the magic of the interwebs, those nowhere near me) into a closer relationship with God.

It makes my joy complete.

But here's the twist.

I jokingly threatened my cat just to get you to read this. It's an absurd example, but it worked, right? I mean, you are, after all, reading this...

How would you have responded if this week's entry had instead been titled "Live Your Life By My Rules or I'll Shoot You"?

I don't think there's any point in being bashful about my intentions. Yes, I want to encourage you to grow closer to God. That's my goal. Again, I don't care if you're already a very strong Christian or if you're a very strong atheist or if you're just very strongly confused. I want to talk to you about God. And my ideal outcome of any conversation that we should ever have about God is that we both walk away with refreshed spirits, renewed minds, and rejoicing hearts.

But the last thing I want to do is bully you into accepting what I believe.

I do believe, fully, that Christianity is the best possible way to live your life. I also believe, with every bit the same fullness, that the Christian life that I'm living is the best I can do with the knowledge and understanding that I currently have. In other words - yeah, I think I'm right. Of course I think I'm right. If I didn't think I was right, why would I continue to think things that I thought were wrong? That's dumb.

But there is a gigantic difference between my telling you that I feel that the truths behind my beliefs would be of great benefit in your own life if you applied them the same way I do and my telling you that you're evil and stupid for believing something other than what I believe and should immediately recognize the rightness of my beliefs and just stop your silly questioning because how could a fool like you ever know anything worth saying in the first place.

Put a bit more simply: there is a HUGE difference between sharing the Gospel through Love and forcing the Gospel down people's throats through arrogant moral superiority.

I'm perfectly willing to trick you into a conversation about God. I don't feel bad about that.

I'm also completely at peace with the idea of using whatever connections I might have with you or anyone else I ever encounter to find a way to get my foot in the door and then get to that conversation about God. It's worth working towards. In my work towards connecting people to God, I'm willing to be a downright snake in the grass, if I have to.

So that's what I've got this week. I've got nothing to hide - my mission, my purpose, my goal is to talk to you about God. I don't care where you stand with Him, I fully believe that both of us have everything to gain from striving for a more perfect understanding of the infinite goodness of God.

It is to that end, then, that I would like to close this post with an especially heartfelt encouragement and sincere exhortation: talk back. I have always wanted this bloggery business to be a conversation more than a sermon. I would LOVE to hear from you - no matter who you are, no matter what you believe. Ask questions. Debate points of doctrine. Drop a truthbomb on me with a scripture I might not have thought of that shows things in a different light. Whatever it is, please... do it. I want to be better at this, and a lot of the learning comes from feedback.

I do sincerely appreciate those of you who do comment and write me and everything else. It definitely means a lot, and please don't feel that I don't value your input - I do. I just want more. Is that so bad?

God bless you... And hopefully we'll talk soon.

Nerd Rage and a Statement of Purpose

2011-02-23T15:32:00.001-06:00

You wanna make a nerd mad? Get his obsession wrong.

You can take the easy way out - asking about the latest episode of "Star Track" is a pretty popular choice - or you can get really advanced and spend over 250 million dollars on an unholy abomination that ruins whatever credibility was built up with the first two movies...

I can't say enough about how wrong Spider-Man 3 was. And it's not just that 3 was so horrible on its own that makes it sting the most... The real salt in the wound is that Spider-Man 2 was nigh-upon perfect. Doctor Octopus is my favorite Spider-Man villain, and the flawless portrayal by Alfred Molina fit seamlessly into an outstanding story that balanced action, romance, personal pathos, and just the right amount of comedy.

But Spider-Man 3... Oh, goodness. That really set a standard for bad movies as far as I'm concerned. The third X-Men movie, X-Men: The Last Stand, was pretty bad. The Roger Moore James Bond movies start off pretty terrible and get worse as they go along. Beer For My Horses was so bad that it wasn't even worth mocking. But none of those are as bad as Spider-Man 3. It's a disaster.

There are a lot of reasons for the 2 hours and 19 minutes of torture found in Spider-Man 3, but it mostly boils down to the studio folks shoving the Venom character into the script against director Sam Raimi's wishes. Sam Raimi felt (correctly) that Venom is a pretty dumb character who wouldn't really work with the style of Spider-Man stories he had told with the first two movies. The studio guys didn't care about that - they just knew that Venom was a hugely popular character (mainly among people who don't actually read Spider-Man comics and just have vague recollections of the '90s cartoon and video games) who could sell a lot of toys on the cheap, because hey, it's Spider-Man painted black.

So the studio guys force Venom on Raimi, Raimi forces Venom onto his version of Spider-Man, and the whole thing comes out an ugly mess.

And whaddya know, a convenient metaphor for the church in today's world just showed up!

I think most of you reading this have already seen this somewhere else, but I didn't get the job with the church in Oregon.

For the record, I also didn't get the job with the church in Tennessee, California, Montana, Alabama, Arkansas, Virginia, South Carolina, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Hawaii, Arizona, Mississippi or Ontario. I'm sure I've left a few out, but it really doesn't matter - I didn't get the job there, either.

I don't want people to think I'm harboring any sort of negativity to any of the churches that have turned me down in the past two years. God has a plan for those congregations, and I'm not a part of that plan. That's OK, because God also has a plan for me, and it's really starting to look like part of God's plan for me is to bypass working at an established congregation of any kind and plant one of my own.

Like Paul leaving the Jews to reach the Gentiles, I'm leaving the churched to reach the unchurched.

It has become very obvious to me, through an occasionally painful and disheartening series of lessons, that I am not cut out for institutional preaching. For a long time I had hoped that I would be able to find that one church, wherever they were, that would be just crazy enough to trust that God would actually speak to them through me, but that door has been pretty firmly shut. The youth ministry door - the one I was originally trying to enter - was apparently never even as open as I'd thought! For whatever reason (and it's not like a shortage of options), I just am not what churches are looking for.

BUT!

It's absolutely undeniable that God has equipped me to do something for Him. I don't really care what you think about my blog - I'm mostly writing this for myself - but I definitely care what you think about God. And for whatever reason, people are generally willing to talk with me about God. Sometimes they're even eager. I can't tell you how many people I've met through just the experience of following one particular band who are open to the questions of God - and are actually seeking out someone to help them find their own answers!

I can't tell you how many people have introduced themselves to me through Facebook or the PGroove message board or even in person who have said that they specifically wanted to get to know me because they want to talk to "the preacher." Some of them want to encourage me to keep sharing my faith in an environment that might not always be as accepting of religion as some others. Some of them come to me for encouragement to hold fast to the faith that they're struggling with holding on to. Some of them just have questions.

Do I have to work at a church to share the gospel with those folks?

Back to the Spider-Man 3 metaphor now...

I'm a God nerd, and a lot of churches (not all, but a lot) are really making me mad because they're getting my obsession wrong. I am completely obsessed with God, and other people are messing it up.

And I want to assure you that it doesn't have as much to do with churches not hiring me as it does with my thinking that I've actually got anything to say to churches in the first place. I know I don't look the part of a preacher. Like, at all. I can totally understand a church's hesitancy to take a chance on a guy like me. But what I don't understand is a church's hesitancy to take a chance on God.

I am not the second coming of Jesus, nor do I think myself to have any sort of extra-Biblical revelation to the Will of God. I just think that a lot of people aren't paying attention to what the Bible actually says, and therefore distorting Christianity into a wrecked mockery of itself. Churches have become so caught up in things that shouldn't even be an issue (like what version of the Bible we use, what clothes we wear to church, whether or not a preacher can actually be effective if he's single, etc...) that we've missed the real point.

We've become so caught up in what the world thinks church should be about that we've missed so much of what God said the church should be about.

Love God, Love Others. There you go. That's it.

Musical instruments don't matter. The name on the sign in front of the building doesn't matter. The mistakes of the past don't matter. The only thing - the only thing - that matters at all is Love.

So... I'm moving to Texas.

It's not gonna happen right away, but it is going to happen, hopefully by the summer. Specifically, I'll be moving to Arlington. I've got some people down there who are itching to help me in my efforts to reach out to the people that churches have, at best, not known how to reach or, at worst, completely ignored and maybe even maligned. It's going to be a thing.

The healthy don't need a doctor. I'm going after the sick.

In the process of doing that, I'm probably going to get a little "out there." I'm probably going to be hanging out with some (more) folks that a lot of pew-fillers are pretty uncomfortable with. I'm probably going to look like someone that is rejected by the legalistic standards of people who think that following God is about following rules. I'm probably going to be surrounded by sinners. I'm probably going to drink a lot of beer.

But I think I'm in good company, because I can think of at least one other person who did all of that. Do you know who I'm thinking of?

Let me give you a hint: starts with a "J," ends with "esus Christ of Nazareth, the crucified and resurrected Son of God."

Pray for me. Pray for my efforts to reach the lost. Pray for Christians the world over who need to be reminded that our faith is not about how good we can be for God, but instead about how good God has been to us, and the responsibility we've been given to take that goodness to others.

I love you all.

Why I hate Superman so very, very, very much

2011-02-16T13:12:00.006-06:00

Look, up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's an incredibly boring character whose very DNA is filled with deus ex machina story resolutions!

I hate Superman.

Oh, dear sweet goodness, do I hate Superman.

In the interest of fairness and full disclosure, I need to point out that I specifically hate what Superman has become today.

The original Superman - June 1938, Action Comics #1 - wasn't bad. Not my favorite by any stretch, but definitely better than what we've got now. I absolutely love the 1941-1943 Fleischer/Famous Studios Superman cartoons, but that's partly the animation nerd in me showing. Same thing goes for Superman: The Animated Series: if it was just another Superman cartoon, I'd skip it completely. But since it's from Bruce Timm and all the other guys that made the Batman series, well, then, I've got no choice but to own the entire thing on DVD. I mean, really... No choice. What choice do I have? None!

But Superman as he exists today... Yeah, not a fan.

I'm gonna do you a favor and skip over a lot of my nerd rage here and just bring up a couple of quick things that will hopefully at least help you understand why I hate Superman. So the quick version is this - 1) Superman is so powerful it's downright stupid, and 2) Superman is so morally pure and good that he makes for some really, really, really boring stories.

As I'm sure you know, since Superman is unfortunately one of the select few superheroes who has been chosen for universal recognition outside of the world of comics, Superman isn't actually human - he's a Kryptonian. His home planet of Krypton was destroyed years ago, and young Kal-El (Superman's real Kryptonian name) was stuck in an interplanetary escape pod, crash landing outside of a farm in Smallville, Kansas, to be raised by his adoptive parents, Jonathan and Martha Kent. Since Krypton orbited a red sun and our earth orbits a yellow sun, as Clark Kent grew into manhood, he discovered he had powers far beyond those of mortal men. Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive... You know all of this.

But the point is that there are other powers that Superman has in the comics that just kinda stop making sense. For instance... Superman not only has X-Ray vision, but he can see radio waves if he squints. This is a silly thing. Seriously. Radio waves. Squinting.

And that's not all! Because Superman has been spending so much time absorbing all of the yellow radiation from our sun, Kryptonite doesn't even slow him down anymore. The only way to make Superman vulnerable to any sort of physical harm is to bathe him in the light of a red sun - and how many red suns do you have lying around, hmmm?

Even his hair is bulletproof.

But an indestructible character is not necessarily an uninteresting character. It's the addition of the super-duper good guy persona that makes Superman so intolerable to me. No matter what Lex Luthor does - from kidnapping Lois Lane and holding her hostage in the heart of a volcano to brainwashing Jimmy Olsen to become a Superman-hating hippie (both of these things happened) - Superman never gets angry, never gets out of control, never shows emotion beyond a stern disapproval of Luthor's naughty ways.

And that gets boring.

Sure, there's all sorts of drama about how he never knew his real parents, and his entire planet was blown up, and he's the last of his race...

But then there's also the bottle city of Kandor (an entire city from Krypton shrunk down to the size of a snow globe), Kara Zor-El (Supergirl), General Zod and the other surviving Kryptonian villains from the Phantom Zone, Krypto the superdog, Streaky the supercat, Comet the superhorse, and Beppo the supermonkey, because why not?

So no matter what happens to Superman, unless Lois Lane were to actually die, none of it matters, at all, because at the end of the day, he can still punch his way out of whatever death trap he's in and then smile for the camera when he snatches Jimmy Olsen from the claws of the Thanagarian snare-beast or whatever inane crap it is this week. (For those of you who care, check out Kingdom Come for an alternate-future story where Lois in fact is killed by the Joker, and Superman is for once an interesting character.)

I have a point with all of this, and it's not just to indoctrinate you into my way of thinking about arguably the most popular superhero of all time.

What I want you to think about now is how many Christians you know (maybe including even you yourself) who try to present an image of themselves as being like Superman.

It has become an epidemic: some Christians in today's world are trying to convince the rest of us - and even themselves - that they are bulletproof, that they are above reproach, that they are without weakness in any shape, form, or fashion. They have (rightly) taken God's grace into their lives and realized that they have been forgiven of all of their sins, but then have also (wrongly) used that as an excuse for a stand-offish superiority.

One of the stereotypical scenes put into just about every media translation of Superman ever is the image of Superman foiling a robbery in progress and the bad guys wasting all of their ammunition firing into Superman's impenetrable chest as he stands stock still, an ever-vigilant guardian of goodness and pretty hair.

Sometimes some Christians try to convince people around them that they're the same as Superman - bulletproof, immovable, never-failing, never-faltering...

And that's just wrong.

If there's anything that Jesus was trying to teach us throughout His ministry, it's that God is Good and we aren't. We miss it. We miss it by miles. And it is only through a confession of that missing it that we ever get any closer.

And it's not good enough to just say "Well, I'm not perfect." We've actually got to be willing to open up to God and to each other and confess - BY NAME! - our sins.

I have something of a problem with lust and pornography. I am unbelievably arrogant at times. (Believably arrogant at others.) I pass judgment on people with little to no hesitation just because they don't act or look like me - and most of the time, I'm judging them for (possibly) judging others who do act or look like me. How's THAT for awesome?

I could go on, but those are the three it's hardest for me to actually own up to, so I think you're getting the picture.

The purpose of our redemption in Christ is not to transform us from sinner to super saint so we can stand firm in our goodness and watch the bullets of sin and darkness just ping! and ftwang! off of our perfectly chiseled pecs. In fact, it is that very mindset of thinking that our righteousness is so secure that we're impervious to the attacks of Satan that will land us directly in the enemy's camp in no time.

So don't do that.

If you pay attention to what Mary is saying in Luke 1:46-55, you'll see a lot of the "theology of reversal" - God opposes the proud but lifts up the humble, fills the hungry but sends the rich away empty... This is an invaluable peek into what it means to actually seek the Heart of God. It is only through assuming a correct relationship with God and man that we can actually enter into a blessed relationship with God or man.

We are residing as aliens in this world, which means that we're definitely not supposed to be like everyone else down here, but in our uniqueness from the earth, we've also got to be willing to be a part of it. We are to keep ourselves pure from the pollution of the world, but we're also supposed to reach out to the world in efforts to bring them to God. In order to do any of this, we have to admit our own weakness - total, complete, ground-up, all-consuming, inevitable weakness - and rely fully, wholly, entirely, and solely upon God. Nothing else works. Ever.

Weakness is strength and strength is weakness. The exalted will be humbled and the humble will be exalted. The first will be last and the last will be first. The sooner we all get that idea into our heads and start living it out on a daily basis by treating everyone we ever come into contact with as being more important than ourselves, then the sooner we can get the world closer to something of a respectable condition so we don't have to be embarrassed when Jesus comes back and sees the total mess we've made of things since He left.

(Also - anybody who makes any lame Superman/Jesus comparison in the comments is gonna get mocked. Just warning you now.)

Why you ought to be more familiar with Hellboy

2011-02-09T16:49:00.007-06:00

This is Hellboy. He is a demon, the son of Satan himself.

Hellboy is one of my absolute favorite comics.

If you've never read Hellboy, I highly recommend it. "The Wolves of St. August" is a great starting point. I'd at least recommend that everybody see the first movie. Skip the second one, but definitely see the first one. It's not perfect in its translation of Hellboy and the BPRD (Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense) from the page to the screen, but it's pretty dang close.

Like I already said - Hellboy is a demon, from the place known to Christians as Hell, in at least a mythological and literary sense. It is definitely the dominion of Satan and all his armies of darkness. Hellboy was brought to earth in December 1944 as part of a collaboration between a desperate Third Reich and the mad Russian monk Grigori Rasputin. Rescued by a group of American soldiers and Professor Trevor Bruttenholm, appointed head of the BPRD by Franklin Roosevelt, Hellboy was raised as an American citizen and - under Professor Bruttenholm - a Catholic.

As Hellboy grows in stature, wisdom, and favor with man and God, he becomes a fully active field agent for the BPRD, using his demonic strength and thorough knowledge of various evils in the world in combat on the side of good, which normally winds up being the side of God. On several occasions, Hellboy is shown (in both the comics and movies) as only being able to defeat some creatures of evil with Christian relics.

In the movie, there's actually a scene that really accents the Christian symbolism in a more direct way than is usually shown in the comics. Hellboy has been lured into the realm of sin (claiming his birthright as the bringer of the apocalypse by virtue of being the crown prince of Hell itself) and is about to destroy the world. Another field agent shouts to Hellboy, telling him, "Remember who you are!" As he says this, he throws the late Professor Broom's rosary to Hellboy, who catches it. As Hellboy catches his dead father's rosary, the cross makes contact with Hellboy's skin, burning it. This breaks Hellboy away from the darkness, brings him back to kill the bad guys, and we get a happy ending.

I used to catch a lot of flak from people for reading Hellboy.

"The main character is a demon. His name is 'Hellboy.' He's FROM. HELL. How can you, as a Christian, possibly think that this is worth reading?"

Hey there, nameless accuser... Have you ever actually sat down and read any Hellboy?

"Well, of course not! I don't read that kind of sinful material."

Have you ever seen the movie?

"Why would I? Anything that promotes Satan is beyond my tolerance as a Christian."

So you have no way of knowing, then, that Satan always loses in the Hellboy comics. So you have no way of knowing, then, that Hellboy himself is consistently written as actively fighting for the forces of Good - the forces of God - fighting the countless evils that seek to war against Heaven.

Hellboy is a fictional character. I don't really care if you think I'm not being Christ-like for reading it. If it bugs you, don't read it, and if my influence on your Christianity is going to be wasted because of something I read, then I assure you, you'd have a lot more problems with me the more you knew about me, so maybe it's just good if you start ignoring me right now.

But the reason I bring up Hellboy in the first place is that I think Christians have developed a reputation for being spiritually pessimistic. We look at someone who doesn't look like they could possibly be a good Christian and let what we see determine a lot. The way people dress, the way they live, the way they talk... We look at people trying their best and decide that their souls are half empty instead of thinking that they could be half full.

Hellboy is good. It's a good comic book, Hellboy himself is a good character (in the sense that he's written well and has very interesting conflict potential for any story he's found in) as well as being a character who is good. He's not a saint. But he's definitely good. And he's definitely trying.

There are so many people - so many - in this world who are trying their dead-level best to be the people that they believe God is asking them to be, yet they can't get very far because they've been turned off by the behavior of other Christians. They've been excluded from churches, from communities, from schools, from families, from humanity itself at times, simply because they didn't look like good Christians.

Why come to church when everybody at church is shocked that you'd ever dare to come to church after what you did?

Why come to church when everybody at church can't believe you'd come to church in that?

Why come to church when everybody at church knows that you're too far gone to even talk to?

I'm not gonna put up any scripture for this one, because you've heard it. Open your Bible to anything in the New Testament and read the two pages there before you. If you don't hit at least something about not judging others, you're probably missing a few pages.

The only reason people don't go to church is the people who already go to church.

Either you're the kind of person that will tell those in the darkness of the world just how lost they are in all that darkness or you're the kind of person who will ignore the darkness and focus on showing others the light.

God Loved us before we ever Loved Him. He took us from where we were and brought us to where we are. Why would we ever think, then, that the world outside has to come to us?

A brief theological reflection on Batman

2011-02-02T17:30:00.009-06:00

What comes to mind when I tell you to think of Batman? This is actually a pretty important question, because we can't talk about Batman until we've got some agreement on who Batman actually is.

The 1966-1968 Batman TV series, starring Adam West as Batman, is not a good version of Batman. I know there's folks out there who like it, but I just hope that they understand that it's not really the best version of Batman out there. Really, folks, let's be honest - the Batusi is not going to be a recognized action of a man who dresses up as a giant bat in order to more effectively avenge the murders of his parents (which he witnessed at age 7).

But on the other hand, the 1992-1995 Batman: The Animated Series is a very good version of Batman, largely because it is much more in line with the central idea of "Bruce Wayne saw his parents murdered in front of him and now fights a one-man war on crime as the dark-clad spirit of vengeance."

Of course, those aren't the only two televised adaptations of Batman to ever exist. Batman was also portrayed on SuperFriends and all of its spinoffs, as well as spinoffs of the 1992 animated series. And then there are theatrical adaptations of Batman to be considered, as well. The Adam West series had its own movie, Tim Burton directed Batman in 1989 with Michael Keaton, and then Burton and Keaton reunited for Batman Returns in 1992. After Burton and Keaton left, director Joel Schumacher took the reigns for 1995's Batman Forever starring Val Kilmer, and 1997's Batman & Robin with George Clooney. None of those are very good, but I'll allow that some are worse than others.

Then we come to the most recent film adaptations of Batman: Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, both directed by Christopher Nolan and starring Christian Bale as Batman. Both of these have been excellent, and I'm personally looking forward to the third film in the series, The Dark Knight Rises, due summer 2012.

Now, I realize that I'm not the supreme arbiter of taste when it comes to interpretations of Batman - my opinion is just that - my opinion. If someone else thinks Adam West was the best Batman ever, who am I to say he or she is wrong?

Well, for starters, I'm the guy who's read a whole lot of Batman comics.

I won't claim that I've read every Batman story ever, but I've read enough that I have a pretty solid idea of who Batman is, what defines him as a character, what kinds of stories work best for that character, and also what kinds of stories don't work as well for the character.

And sometimes when people get to talking about Batman, it's very important to make sure that everybody comes to the table with a common understanding of what makes a "good" Batman, because it's only after everybody agrees on what's good that you can actually determine what's bad.

Tim Burton's depiction of Batman is no good for a lot of reasons, but there are two huge ones that stick out as flagrant errors in Batmannery. First - the Joker did not kill Batman's parents. That's a pretty cheap storytelling move, trying to tie unrelated elements of the story together in order to create more emotional tension. Second - Batman doesn't kill people, not even the Joker. But hey, Tim Burton has said before that he never read Batman comics, and really, that explains a lot of things.

I'm not saying that you can't enjoy Batman without reading the comics... But that does make it really hard to get a fully accurate picture of the true nature of the Batman.

Movies and TV shows are operating within time-sensitive frameworks where there's not really enough room to put in ALL of the wealth of information and characterization that can be borne out of more than 70 years of work on Batman. In pursuits of a deeper understanding of Batman, however, it becomes necessary at some point to at least read a few of the comics. (I would suggest starting with anything written by Frank Miller.)

Sometimes people have ideas of what they think Batman is like - based on their exposure to various TV shows and movies over the years - that either line up perfectly or don't fit at all with what the real Batman is like. These misconceptions of Batman have a lot to do with how people react to Batman, and it's important to know if somebody's idea of Batman is right or not in order to know what they actually think of Batman.

And now replace "Batman" in that last paragraph with "God" and you'll see what I see in a lot of Christians today.

A lot of Christians today are operating under a set of mistaken assumptions about who God is. The corruptions of the idea of God come from all sorts of places, not excluding movies and TV. And even worse, once we get to the root of the misconceptions about God, we find that they come from someone who hasn't ever actually read the Bible to see what God Himself says about God.

Batman as portrayed by Adam West in the 1966 TV series isn't such a terrible Batman that it's something else entirely. It's just a somewhat goofy Batman with painted on eyebrows and a charming smile, surrounded by caricatures of his villains, all reduced to brightly colored practical jokes instead of genuinely threatening psychotics with seriously altered understandings of reality.

Batman as portrayed by Michael Keaton in the Tim Burton films still isn't so horrible at being Batman that we have to call him Superman, but it's still not a 100% accurate Batman, either. This version of Batman goes too far and crosses lines that the real Batman doesn't, violating one of the central codes of the actual character's definition, leading to a corrupted vision of who Batman is.

Again - that's how some people are with God. Some people - Christian and non-Christian alike - operate with understandings of God that deviate the Biblical picture of God to create something that, although not entirely worthless, definitely isn't completely correct.

God is not the eternal sunshine and rainbows machine, wanting to shower you with nothing but happiness and Lisa Frank stickers; nor is He the universal drill sergeant, barking orders and keeping His troops in line through harsh routines. Both of these ideas of God come from corruptions of aspects of God - both ideas are based on the Truth of God, but still fall so very short.

I'm hoping that the Batman analogy helps you see why it's important that we all have a fully functional understanding of who God really is. While I'll grant that it doesn't matter too much (while still mattering a good bit) what you think about Batman, it definitely matters, more than anything else does, what you think about God.

As I've become more known in social circles as "the preacher," I've found myself having more and more discussions about God and faith in Him. One of the inescapable commonalities among people who hold objections to Christianity is a theologically incorrect picture of God. If God Himself is misunderstood, how can anything else make sense? When I'm talking to non-Christians who object to the idea of a God who tells His followers to bring hateful acts of violence down on - for instance - homosexuals, I try to show them that they're operating with a mistaken understanding of who God is. Once they understand that what God actually asks of us is to love all people as much as we love ourselves, then we are one step closer to sharing in an experience of the Truth of God.

But at the same time, I often have conversations with Christians who are themselves coming from dangerously awry understandings of the true nature of God. When I meet a Christian who is struggling in his faith because God hasn't blessed him with material wealth, it's there that we've got to make sure to look for and find the Truth of God, the Truth that transcends worldly desires and focuses on living by the Spirit. It is only when we come to understand the Truth of God that the Truth can set us free - truly free.

It's no mere coincidence that Jesus refers to Himself as the Truth - there's a very powerful idea contained in that. One person's understanding of God might seem to work for them, but if it's not actually based on the correct understanding, then things fall apart pretty quickly when the questions are asked.

I'd like to encourage you to read the book of Job. I know it's long, and I know not everybody's got just tons of free time, but trust me - if you take the time to read the Bible, God will bless you deeply for it, and you'll be blown away how much you can get out of just reading for a few minutes each day. But specifically and especially in reading Job, I want you to look at the version of God presented in the closing chapters and compare it to your own concept of God. Does Job's God look like your God?

There's only so much any preacher can do. Eventually everything comes down to whether or not the listener is willing to seriously question his or her own beliefs and make adjustments based on the reality of Truth when compared to the illusion of personal preference.

When faced with the choice between a difficult belief that challenges you to take the hard step of living a better life or an easy belief that allows you to stay the same and placate your conscience, it's not hard to see why most people through the history of the world have taken the easy way out. It's easy. Duh.

But following God isn't supposed to be easy. Good Batman isn't easy. But finding - and adhering to - the genuine Truth is what makes all the difference.

When The Dark Knight came out in theaters, the girl I was dating at the time was extremely reluctant to see the movie, citing a huge hatred for Batman. This simply wasn't gonna sit with me, so I had to find out where this hatred was coming from. As I dug and poked and prodded, I found out that she'd never actually experienced any good Batman. Once she saw The Dark Knight, however, she admitted that she enjoyed it - and why wouldn't she? It's awesome! It gets Batman right! I firmly believe that it's next to impossible for anyone to see Batman done well and not enjoy it at least a little bit.

But Batman done wrong? Yeah, that's terrible.

Same thing goes for God. When people are operating with a poor understanding of who God actually is and what He actually does, it's easy to see why they'd reject the idea.

Once the Truth is understood, however, and people have a correct understanding of the Nature and Will and Love of God, then I don't see how anybody can pass it up.

Make sure you know the Truth of who God is. Don't be content with your understanding of God as it stands now - dedicate yourself to a constant search for knowledge of God on the most intimate of levels. Know Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and you will find yourself sharing what you know with everyone around you. Just like Batman, once people see God in the right way, it becomes a lot harder to reject the idea.

Something about Pink Floyd in a religious context

2011-01-26T13:20:00.000-06:00

As you may recall from the previous post, Led Zeppelin is my favorite band to a truly hyperbolic degree.

However standing in as close of a second place as is possible is the Pink Floyd.

GET IT?

Pink Floyd does good things. Very good things.

But they're not Led Zeppelin.

I said last week that Led Zeppelin's 1973 Houses of the Holy is my all time favorite album. Pink Floyd's 1973 Dark Side of the Moon is my second favorite. I don't know how it was for wine, but 1973 was a pretty awesome year for rock and roll.

In fact, I think Pink Floyd hit a streak of audio perfection for a stretch of four albums - Meddle in 1971, DSotM in '73, Wish You Were Here in '75, and Animals in '77.

But Led Zeppelin had a streak for 8 albums running. So... Led Zeppelin still wins.

And it's not like I hate the rest of the Pink Floyd catalog compared to those four albums. That's not at all the case. I really dig The Wall, but it is a bit bloated, and it's very emotionally draining if you really absorb the content while you listen, so I don't listen to it very often. The Syd Barret years are fun, and some of the earlier instrumental freak-outs like "Interstellar Overdrive" and "Saucerful of Secrets" are particularly awesome.

But at the same time, I don't ever just sit around listening to the studio album from Ummagumma. You wanna know why?

Because it's terrible.

I love Pink Floyd. Don't get me wrong. But nobody likes Ummagumma. Even Pink Floyd members themselves will tell you that Ummagumma is horrible. Ummagumma studio is not as bad as "Revolution 9" from the Beatles' white album, but it is almost six times as long, so it's like your best friend asking if you'd rather be stabbed in the ears with a really sharp pencil once or a kinda dull pencil six times. Either way, you're getting stabbed in the ears with a pencil by someone you once trusted to not stab you in the ears with a pencil.

Led Zeppelin? They don't have a bad album. Sure, In Through the Out Door is not my favorite Zep album, but it is still a Led Zeppelin album. I still love it. I'll even admit I can see why other people aren't too nuts about it. I still love it. It's Led Zeppelin.

Sometimes I am not in the mood to hear Perpetual Groove. Sometimes I am not in the mood to hear Eric Clapton. There are never times when I am not in the mood to hear Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin.

Now, there is some Pink Floyd I have to be in the mood for, like The Wall or most of the stuff from the Syd Barrett years. And, of course, Ummagumma is just never gonna happen voluntarily.

But I will never complain if you turn on Dark Side of the Moon. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, what time of year it is, what's happening in my life, if I've had a good day, a bad day... Dark Side of the Moon is always a good choice.

It's just that Houses of the Holy is always a better choice.

I love Pink Floyd. I just get a bit more excited about Led Zeppelin.

A lot of you have been asking me for updates on the job situation with the church in Oregon. As of writing this, I don't really have an update to give. I know that they interviewed another guy. He taught the Wednesday night class last week and preached this past Sunday morning. As far as I have been told, it's down to me and that guy. I really don't know anything else about if I've got the job or not, or even when I will know.

I do know that I want the job. I know I want to be in Oregon. When I was up there, I saw God using me in a lot of just incredible ways. I felt like my entire life up to that point had been laid out specifically to get me to that point. I saw the invisible Hand of God guiding my life from birth onward, directing an infinitely complex orchestra in an infinitely complex song, and going to Oregon felt like the first notes of the "Hallelujah" chorus. It was good.

But hey, you know what?

I like being at home, too.

In fact, I love it.

Since the end of the summer of 2009, I've been looking for a church job. I started off looking exclusively for youth ministry work, then broadened my search to include pulpit jobs. In every church I've had any serious contact with, God has shown me some pretty amazing windows of opportunity where I felt that I would be able to be of particularly good use. In some places, those windows were bigger than others, but every church I heard anything other than an immediate "No" from looked like a possibility on my end just because I saw where God could use me if He wanted to. And that's just what I saw. I know for sure that God saw other places I could have been used in any of those places.

But (obviously) I wasn't the best fit for those places and/or they weren't the best fit for me.

The thing that started to get to me, though, was that I could see these immediate openings into sharing Christ with people everywhere I looked... except at home.

I was talking to a church in Olive Branch, Mississippi, for a little while. I know a lot of awesome folks in Olive Branch who could use a deeply personal Christian influence in their lives, not the kind of Christian influence that leaves fake money with Bible verses on it as the only tip for a waitress named Emily. I could have done some good there.

I was talking to a church in Cathey's Valley, California, for a little while. I didn't know anybody out there that wasn't at least a three-hour round-trip away, but that entire trip was God showing me places and people where I could do some good.

I was talking to a church in De Queen, Arkansas, for a little while. They were my first church interview after my internship Heritage Place in Birmingham was over. I was nervous, I didn't really know what I was doing, and I certainly wasn't in the same place with God that I am now. But even with all of that, I saw where God could put me to good use.

But no matter where I went, no matter where I got back from, no matter what I learned, I couldn't see how to do anything at home.

I don't know if it was because I just wasn't looking in the right places or what. I did what I could where I could, but it was like a band with one good song every few years instead of a career made of several worthwhile albums. That one good song might be awesome, but everything in between is really boring.

But here lately, something happened. I got back in touch with some dudes I knew from high school days and God started really using me. It's slow, but it's steady. It's definitely there. It's definitely strong. It's definitely God.

So now I've got another reason to want to stay home.

I love my parents. I love my sister. I love our cats. I like our dog. I love Tennessee. I love living less than an hour from Nashville. I love being close enough to Perpetual Groove's regular touring circuit that I managed to see them 6 times last year - one of those being Amberland, which honestly, literally, truly, sincerely changed my life.

But I'm more excited about Oregon.

There's no shortage of things I can do here at home. I've started to see more of the possibilities God wants me to see. I've started to see more people I can reach out to. I've started to see more conversations I can have with people who I'm in a unique position to have those conversations with about the things that are worth having conversations about. Those possibilities are everywhere here at home. I'm finally seeing it.

I'm still just more excited about Oregon.

To be honest, part of the reason is that it's gonna be easier for me to be a better man in Oregon. Up there, I've got a clean slate. Down here, I'm doing my best to be my best, but I'm still reminded by a lot of reminders of my past failures. In Oregon, I didn't spend all my time around cigarettes. Here at home, most of my friends smoke, and sometimes I slip up. Sometimes I slip up for a few days in a row.

When Jesus had finished these parables, He moved on from there. Coming to His hometown, He began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. “Where did this Man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?” they asked. “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t His mother’s name Mary, and aren’t His brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? Aren’t all His sisters with us? Where then did this Man get all these things?” And they took offense at Him.

But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home.”

And He did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

- Matthew 13:53-58

I'm not saying I'm a prophet, and I'm definitely not trying to equate myself with Jesus, but I do think that the truth of what Jesus says still rings true today. Why would anybody listen to me talk about God? Isn't this the guy who dressed up as Twinkie the Kid in high school? Isn't this the guy who never showed up on time for anything once he had a driver's license? Isn't this the guy who did old Chris Farley gags on the bus?

Please, please, please - don't get me wrong, I love being home. It's just that I know I can do some better work somewhere else. That's what I'm more excited about.

I'm excited about being in a place where people see my Christian example without the burdensome trouble of knowing me 10 years ago.

I love Pink Floyd. I will never be upset with someone for suggesting Pink Floyd. Pink Floyd is awesome in ways that nobody else - including Led Zeppelin - ever comes close to. Pink Floyd is the only Pink Floyd.

I'm just more excited about listening to Led Zeppelin.

If I do get the job, I know I'm gonna miss home. I know it's going to be different being 2300 miles away from my parents and sister. I know it's going to be hard.

But I also know that it'll be worth it.

And if I don't get the job, I know I'll be somewhat disappointed, but I certainly won't be complaining.

I also know that it'll be totally worth it.

I'd appreciate your continued prayers for God's Will being done through me.

I will let you know what happens as soon as I know anything myself.

I love you all, and I love all of you.

The Gospel According to Led Zeppelin

2011-01-19T03:52:00.010-06:00

In case you're just tuning in, here's the story so far: my favorite musical entity in the history of time is Led Zeppelin. It is kind of a thing with me.

Led Zeppelin. Just... oh, so good. So very good. My goodness, the goodness of Led Zeppelin. From the first album to the last, including the live shows, the bootlegs, the outtakes, the studio sessions, the rough cuts... everything. If it was Led Zeppelin, I love it. I'll admit that it's kind of an existential quandary whether I love everything Led Zeppelin did because it was Led Zeppelin doing it or if Led Zeppelin just did everything that I love, but either way - I love Led Zeppelin. Quite a bit.

My favorite song is "Over the Hills and Far Away," which is found on Zep's fifth album, Houses of the Holy, which, as it turns out, is my favorite album. Not just my favorite Led song and my favorite Led album, but my favorite song and favorite album.

A buddy of mine once asked me who I'd pick if I could put together the ultimate super-group consisting of my favorite vocalist, guitarist, bassist and drummer. My answer was Led Zeppelin. He said, "No, no, I don't think you're quite getting what I'm asking. I mean, like, if you could take a drummer from one band... and then a guitarist from another band... and, you know, make a whole band like that... who would you pick?"

Yeah, I got it the first time. My answer is still the same. Led Zeppelin. Jimmy Page is my favorite guitarist, Robert Plant is my favorite vocalist, John Bonham is my favorite drummer, John Paul Jones is my favorite bassist/organist/horn accompanist/everything-else-he-did-ist. Led Zeppelin is my favorite band.

If you hang out with me in a place where I have any control over the music, ever, there will come a time where Led Zeppelin comes up. It's just how it is. I'm GONNA play some Zeppelin. I don't care who I'm around, where I am, what's going on... If there's music to be heard and I'm at all in a position to choose what is played... Yeah. Zeppelin's gonna happen at some point.

I have been accused before of musical snobbery, and it's not like I can really rebut that accusation with too much truth... Yeah. I'm a music snob. I know what I like, and I'm pretty vehement about it. Is it possible that there is (or will be in the future) a band that I would enjoy more than Led Zeppelin? Well... Yeah... It's possible... But then, it's also possible that the entirety of the British monarchical family is killed in a freak photography accident and I'm crowned the next king of England, resulting in all sorts of zany mishaps with my clumsy attempts at a knighting, applying my own inimitable style to delicate matters of international diplomacy, and dealing with the pressures of being recognized at the Burger King nearest to Buckingham Palace.

Doesn't mean it's very likely.

I could go further, but I figure the point is pretty well made, and I'm definitely aware that most of my posts are long enough as it is. We don't need another 8 pages of me telling you how much I love Led Zeppelin. But what I do need for you to understand - in case you haven't picked up on it yet - is that I am a fan of Led Zeppelin. This point is integral to the case I am presenting in this post.

So now let's talk about God.

As much as I do love Led Zeppelin, God still wins. I know, I know... the previous fanboy rant may have called that into question for some of you, but I don't have a weekly blog dedicated to Zep. God is still my primary focus.

But part of what I've been thinking about a lot lately is the idea of apologetics. I know that's kind of a loaded term for a lot of people, and a confusing one for others. It's always hard to think about "apologetics" and not get to "apology." The two words are related, both rooted in the Greek word απολογία (apologia), which means "speaking in defense." We've come to think of an "apology" meaning simply an admission of guilt and an expression of regret, but the original usage of the word actually meant a formal defense of an idea, and that's all apologetics actually is.

I am specifically interested in the idea of Christian apologetics - a defense of Christianity. Not that I feel that Christianity needs protected, lest it fall apart under the scrutiny of the skeptical world, but a defense based on correcting misconceptions and misunderstandings of the Christian faith (that is - Christianity as I see it, which I would like to think is at least in the ballpark of the way God is showing it to us through Christ, the Holy Spirit, and the Bible).

It is in this same sense that Paul "defends" the gospel in Acts 26:2 and Philippians 1:7, and also in which Peter tells us to "be prepared to give an answer" in I Peter 3:15.

So what, then, are we to do?

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

- Matthew 22:34-40

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

- Matthew 28:19-20

Here's how I see the total sum of the responsibilities of Christianity: Love God, Love others. In Loving God and Loving others, we are tasked with the responsibility of introducing others to God. I briefly touched on this last week, noting that it's important for us to be able to find connections to God in the world outside of "the church" in order to build bridges of communication between ourselves and "the World." But what I want to specifically stress now is that it is every bit as important that we all, each of us, understand (to the fullest extent which we are able) the intellectual reasoning of our Faith.

What I'm saying here is that it's not enough to just say "God said it, I believe it, that settles it." That is an outrageously dangerous theological position to tie oneself to. I'm not saying that it's wrong to have a strong faith in the Word of God - that's very commendable. But to have a singularly directed and blind faith in the Word of God... Yeah, that's pretty dangerous.

It isn't enough that we know the Truth of the Bible and believe wholeheartedly that it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes. We've also got to know why it is that which it is.

Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.

- I Corinthians 14:20

Within the context of that chapter, Paul is specifically addressing the issue of speaking in tongues. In the Corinthian church, there had apparently been a problem of some members expressing the gift of speaking in tongues through the Holy Spirit to just babble on with nobody to interpret what was being said. While thanks were being given to God for the miraculous gifts displayed, the gifts were pointless because nobody was learning anything.

Paul's exhortation then is a reminder that we are to come together in our worship and fellowship not to praise God for blessing us with things that we haven't bothered to examine and understand, but to encourage, enlighten, and educate one another to the deeper truths of Christianity.

We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about cleansing rites, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And God permitting, we will do so.

- Hebrews 5:11-6:3

Notice that the writer says that those in his audience should be teachers by this point, and yet they constantly need reminded of the elementary principles of Christianity. This, to me, pretty plainly says that it is not enough for us to accept the gospel as infallibly true and never open our eyes or ears to anything else ever again.

Let me switch back over to Led Zeppelin for a minute.

As I'm sure you'll recall, Led Zeppelin is my favorite band.

Led Zeppelin is not, however, the only band I've ever heard.

Recently, I've been listening to a whole lot of the original line-up of the Allman Brothers Band. Led Zeppelin is still my favorite. I've been digging around and finding all sorts of live material from the early years of Yes that I'd not heard before. Led Zeppelin is still my favorite. Last week, I wrote about Eric Clapton, and the week before that, I wrote about Perpetual Groove. Led Zeppelin is still my favorite.

I've heard Lady GaGa. Led Zeppelin is definitely still my favorite.

I've got enough music on my computer that if I were to put it all into one big playlist, start at the beginning and let it play all the way through, I could go for some three months non-stop and not hear a song twice. Most radio stations have a library of something like 7,500-10,000 songs. I've got somewhere in the neighborhood of 20,000+ songs.

Led Zeppelin isn't my favorite band because they're the only thing I've ever heard, but instead, it's because I've actually heard a ridiculous amount of music that I can therefore say in the face of countless potential challengers, Led Zeppelin still tops my list.

I am not (necessarily) saying here that we can only be good Christians if we go out and research the tenets of other faiths. But I will say that it's very hard to show someone why Christianity makes more sense than other faiths if we don't even know why Christianity makes sense on its own.

Too often I have seen an approach to Christianity that doesn't allow for any questions. It is as though the beliefs of Christianity are so fragile that they can't stand up to even the slightest examination and scrutiny. Don't we believe that this is the Way, the Truth, and the Light? Isn't this supposed to be following after God's own Son, the Word made flesh? Aren't we actually operating under the assumption that our faith is correct anyway?

So what is there to be afraid of?

It doesn't do us a lot of good in spreading the gospel if our only response to an atheist's assertion that there is no God is to run away screaming, or to brand the atheist a heretic, or to quote Bible verses to someone who doesn't believe in the Bible in the first place. We've got to know what we're talking about.

Can you offer any evidence for the existence of God beyond your own beliefs?

Beyond that, can you help others understand why Christianity is the path you've chosen to follow, excluding all of the other thousands of options in the world today?

Or are you still living out a faith that was handed to you? Is your faith your own, or is it your parents'? Or your preacher's? Or your professor's? Or your spouse's?

Do you know why you believe what you believe?

Do you believe that what you believe is able to stand up to the tests of reason and logic? Or do you believe that "faith" is sequestered off in its own little corner of the brain, permanently exiled from rational thought?

What are you going to do when somebody tells you that God cannot possibly exist because evil exists in the world? How are you going to answer that? ("God moves in mysterious ways" is a cheap cop-out, by the way.)

I am really having to fight the temptation to lay out all "the answers" here. It somewhat defeats the purpose of asking if you have any answers of your own if I give you all of mine.

I can (easily) tell you for hours how much I love Led Zeppelin. But if you've never actually heard them, it doesn't make a difference in the world. And if I'm going to be the guy saying Led Zeppelin is so much better than everything else, shouldn't I at least have something to back that up? Shouldn't I at least be able to play a song or two for anybody who asks?

I'll admit here that not everybody likes Led Zeppelin. I can at least acknowledge that fact, even if I don't really get it. I can sit you down and play their entire catalog, from the 1968 Scandinavian tour as the New Yardbirds to the 1982 "leftovers" album, Coda, and you might not enjoy a lick of it. I don't at all see how that could be true, but it is definitely a possibility.

But that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop listening to them, or stop trying to expose every person on the planet to their awesome.

Similarly, I've got to admit that not everybody is going to become a Christian. I could present a defense for the faith on par with Paul in the Areopagus or C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity to every single person on this planet and there would still be plenty of folks who don't see it. There would still be folks who don't believe. That is to be expected. That is Biblically guaranteed.

But it doesn't mean I'm going to stop believing, or stop trying to share my faith with the world over.

There are people in the world - like Brian Flemming, writer/director/narrator of "The God Who Wasn't There" - who will try to tell you that Jesus of Nazareth wasn't even a real person, much less the Son of God.

What are you going to say to that?

Have an answer. Not only does the potential faith of the people you encounter in your life depend on it, but it's very probable that your faith depends on it as well.