Nerd Rage and a Statement of Purpose

You wanna make a nerd mad? Get his obsession wrong.

You can take the easy way out - asking about the latest episode of "Star Track" is a pretty popular choice - or you can get really advanced and spend over 250 million dollars on an unholy abomination that ruins whatever credibility was built up with the first two movies...

I can't say enough about how wrong Spider-Man 3 was. And it's not just that 3 was so horrible on its own that makes it sting the most... The real salt in the wound is that Spider-Man 2 was nigh-upon perfect. Doctor Octopus is my favorite Spider-Man villain, and the flawless portrayal by Alfred Molina fit seamlessly into an outstanding story that balanced action, romance, personal pathos, and just the right amount of comedy.

But Spider-Man 3... Oh, goodness. That really set a standard for bad movies as far as I'm concerned. The third X-Men movie, X-Men: The Last Stand, was pretty bad. The Roger Moore James Bond movies start off pretty terrible and get worse as they go along. Beer For My Horses was so bad that it wasn't even worth mocking. But none of those are as bad as Spider-Man 3. It's a disaster.

There are a lot of reasons for the 2 hours and 19 minutes of torture found in Spider-Man 3, but it mostly boils down to the studio folks shoving the Venom character into the script against director Sam Raimi's wishes. Sam Raimi felt (correctly) that Venom is a pretty dumb character who wouldn't really work with the style of Spider-Man stories he had told with the first two movies. The studio guys didn't care about that - they just knew that Venom was a hugely popular character (mainly among people who don't actually read Spider-Man comics and just have vague recollections of the '90s cartoon and video games) who could sell a lot of toys on the cheap, because hey, it's Spider-Man painted black.

So the studio guys force Venom on Raimi, Raimi forces Venom onto his version of Spider-Man, and the whole thing comes out an ugly mess.

And whaddya know, a convenient metaphor for the church in today's world just showed up!

I think most of you reading this have already seen this somewhere else, but I didn't get the job with the church in Oregon.

For the record, I also didn't get the job with the church in Tennessee, California, Montana, Alabama, Arkansas, Virginia, South Carolina, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Hawaii, Arizona, Mississippi or Ontario. I'm sure I've left a few out, but it really doesn't matter - I didn't get the job there, either.

I don't want people to think I'm harboring any sort of negativity to any of the churches that have turned me down in the past two years. God has a plan for those congregations, and I'm not a part of that plan. That's OK, because God also has a plan for me, and it's really starting to look like part of God's plan for me is to bypass working at an established congregation of any kind and plant one of my own.

Like Paul leaving the Jews to reach the Gentiles, I'm leaving the churched to reach the unchurched.

It has become very obvious to me, through an occasionally painful and disheartening series of lessons, that I am not cut out for institutional preaching. For a long time I had hoped that I would be able to find that one church, wherever they were, that would be just crazy enough to trust that God would actually speak to them through me, but that door has been pretty firmly shut. The youth ministry door - the one I was originally trying to enter - was apparently never even as open as I'd thought! For whatever reason (and it's not like a shortage of options), I just am not what churches are looking for.

BUT!

It's absolutely undeniable that God has equipped me to do something for Him. I don't really care what you think about my blog - I'm mostly writing this for myself - but I definitely care what you think about God. And for whatever reason, people are generally willing to talk with me about God. Sometimes they're even eager. I can't tell you how many people I've met through just the experience of following one particular band who are open to the questions of God - and are actually seeking out someone to help them find their own answers!

I can't tell you how many people have introduced themselves to me through Facebook or the PGroove message board or even in person who have said that they specifically wanted to get to know me because they want to talk to "the preacher." Some of them want to encourage me to keep sharing my faith in an environment that might not always be as accepting of religion as some others. Some of them come to me for encouragement to hold fast to the faith that they're struggling with holding on to. Some of them just have questions.

Do I have to work at a church to share the gospel with those folks?

Back to the Spider-Man 3 metaphor now...

I'm a God nerd, and a lot of churches (not all, but a lot) are really making me mad because they're getting my obsession wrong. I am completely obsessed with God, and other people are messing it up.

And I want to assure you that it doesn't have as much to do with churches not hiring me as it does with my thinking that I've actually got anything to say to churches in the first place. I know I don't look the part of a preacher. Like, at all. I can totally understand a church's hesitancy to take a chance on a guy like me. But what I don't understand is a church's hesitancy to take a chance on God.

I am not the second coming of Jesus, nor do I think myself to have any sort of extra-Biblical revelation to the Will of God. I just think that a lot of people aren't paying attention to what the Bible actually says, and therefore distorting Christianity into a wrecked mockery of itself. Churches have become so caught up in things that shouldn't even be an issue (like what version of the Bible we use, what clothes we wear to church, whether or not a preacher can actually be effective if he's single, etc...) that we've missed the real point.

We've become so caught up in what the world thinks church should be about that we've missed so much of what God said the church should be about.

Love God, Love Others. There you go. That's it.

Musical instruments don't matter. The name on the sign in front of the building doesn't matter. The mistakes of the past don't matter. The only thing - the only thing - that matters at all is Love.

So... I'm moving to Texas.

It's not gonna happen right away, but it is going to happen, hopefully by the summer. Specifically, I'll be moving to Arlington. I've got some people down there who are itching to help me in my efforts to reach out to the people that churches have, at best, not known how to reach or, at worst, completely ignored and maybe even maligned. It's going to be a thing.

The healthy don't need a doctor. I'm going after the sick.

In the process of doing that, I'm probably going to get a little "out there." I'm probably going to be hanging out with some (more) folks that a lot of pew-fillers are pretty uncomfortable with. I'm probably going to look like someone that is rejected by the legalistic standards of people who think that following God is about following rules. I'm probably going to be surrounded by sinners. I'm probably going to drink a lot of beer.

But I think I'm in good company, because I can think of at least one other person who did all of that. Do you know who I'm thinking of?

Let me give you a hint: starts with a "J," ends with "esus Christ of Nazareth, the crucified and resurrected Son of God."

Pray for me. Pray for my efforts to reach the lost. Pray for Christians the world over who need to be reminded that our faith is not about how good we can be for God, but instead about how good God has been to us, and the responsibility we've been given to take that goodness to others.

I love you all.

Something about Pink Floyd in a religious context

As you may recall from the previous post, Led Zeppelin is my favorite band to a truly hyperbolic degree.

However standing in as close of a second place as is possible is the Pink Floyd.

GET IT?

Pink Floyd does good things. Very good things.

But they're not Led Zeppelin.

I said last week that Led Zeppelin's 1973 Houses of the Holy is my all time favorite album. Pink Floyd's 1973 Dark Side of the Moon is my second favorite. I don't know how it was for wine, but 1973 was a pretty awesome year for rock and roll.

In fact, I think Pink Floyd hit a streak of audio perfection for a stretch of four albums - Meddle in 1971, DSotM in '73, Wish You Were Here in '75, and Animals in '77.

But Led Zeppelin had a streak for 8 albums running. So... Led Zeppelin still wins.

And it's not like I hate the rest of the Pink Floyd catalog compared to those four albums. That's not at all the case. I really dig The Wall, but it is a bit bloated, and it's very emotionally draining if you really absorb the content while you listen, so I don't listen to it very often. The Syd Barret years are fun, and some of the earlier instrumental freak-outs like "Interstellar Overdrive" and "Saucerful of Secrets" are particularly awesome.

But at the same time, I don't ever just sit around listening to the studio album from Ummagumma. You wanna know why?

Because it's terrible.

I love Pink Floyd. Don't get me wrong. But nobody likes Ummagumma. Even Pink Floyd members themselves will tell you that Ummagumma is horrible. Ummagumma studio is not as bad as "Revolution 9" from the Beatles' white album, but it is almost six times as long, so it's like your best friend asking if you'd rather be stabbed in the ears with a really sharp pencil once or a kinda dull pencil six times. Either way, you're getting stabbed in the ears with a pencil by someone you once trusted to not stab you in the ears with a pencil.

Led Zeppelin? They don't have a bad album. Sure, In Through the Out Door is not my favorite Zep album, but it is still a Led Zeppelin album. I still love it. I'll even admit I can see why other people aren't too nuts about it. I still love it. It's Led Zeppelin.

Sometimes I am not in the mood to hear Perpetual Groove. Sometimes I am not in the mood to hear Eric Clapton. There are never times when I am not in the mood to hear Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin.

Now, there is some Pink Floyd I have to be in the mood for, like The Wall or most of the stuff from the Syd Barrett years. And, of course, Ummagumma is just never gonna happen voluntarily.

But I will never complain if you turn on Dark Side of the Moon. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, what time of year it is, what's happening in my life, if I've had a good day, a bad day... Dark Side of the Moon is always a good choice.

It's just that Houses of the Holy is always a better choice.

I love Pink Floyd. I just get a bit more excited about Led Zeppelin.

A lot of you have been asking me for updates on the job situation with the church in Oregon. As of writing this, I don't really have an update to give. I know that they interviewed another guy. He taught the Wednesday night class last week and preached this past Sunday morning. As far as I have been told, it's down to me and that guy. I really don't know anything else about if I've got the job or not, or even when I will know.

I do know that I want the job. I know I want to be in Oregon. When I was up there, I saw God using me in a lot of just incredible ways. I felt like my entire life up to that point had been laid out specifically to get me to that point. I saw the invisible Hand of God guiding my life from birth onward, directing an infinitely complex orchestra in an infinitely complex song, and going to Oregon felt like the first notes of the "Hallelujah" chorus. It was good.

But hey, you know what?

I like being at home, too.

In fact, I love it.

Since the end of the summer of 2009, I've been looking for a church job. I started off looking exclusively for youth ministry work, then broadened my search to include pulpit jobs. In every church I've had any serious contact with, God has shown me some pretty amazing windows of opportunity where I felt that I would be able to be of particularly good use. In some places, those windows were bigger than others, but every church I heard anything other than an immediate "No" from looked like a possibility on my end just because I saw where God could use me if He wanted to. And that's just what I saw. I know for sure that God saw other places I could have been used in any of those places.

But (obviously) I wasn't the best fit for those places and/or they weren't the best fit for me.

The thing that started to get to me, though, was that I could see these immediate openings into sharing Christ with people everywhere I looked... except at home.

I was talking to a church in Olive Branch, Mississippi, for a little while. I know a lot of awesome folks in Olive Branch who could use a deeply personal Christian influence in their lives, not the kind of Christian influence that leaves fake money with Bible verses on it as the only tip for a waitress named Emily. I could have done some good there.

I was talking to a church in Cathey's Valley, California, for a little while. I didn't know anybody out there that wasn't at least a three-hour round-trip away, but that entire trip was God showing me places and people where I could do some good.

I was talking to a church in De Queen, Arkansas, for a little while. They were my first church interview after my internship Heritage Place in Birmingham was over. I was nervous, I didn't really know what I was doing, and I certainly wasn't in the same place with God that I am now. But even with all of that, I saw where God could put me to good use.

But no matter where I went, no matter where I got back from, no matter what I learned, I couldn't see how to do anything at home.

I don't know if it was because I just wasn't looking in the right places or what. I did what I could where I could, but it was like a band with one good song every few years instead of a career made of several worthwhile albums. That one good song might be awesome, but everything in between is really boring.

But here lately, something happened. I got back in touch with some dudes I knew from high school days and God started really using me. It's slow, but it's steady. It's definitely there. It's definitely strong. It's definitely God.

So now I've got another reason to want to stay home.

I love my parents. I love my sister. I love our cats. I like our dog. I love Tennessee. I love living less than an hour from Nashville. I love being close enough to Perpetual Groove's regular touring circuit that I managed to see them 6 times last year - one of those being Amberland, which honestly, literally, truly, sincerely changed my life.

But I'm more excited about Oregon.

There's no shortage of things I can do here at home. I've started to see more of the possibilities God wants me to see. I've started to see more people I can reach out to. I've started to see more conversations I can have with people who I'm in a unique position to have those conversations with about the things that are worth having conversations about. Those possibilities are everywhere here at home. I'm finally seeing it.

I'm still just more excited about Oregon.

To be honest, part of the reason is that it's gonna be easier for me to be a better man in Oregon. Up there, I've got a clean slate. Down here, I'm doing my best to be my best, but I'm still reminded by a lot of reminders of my past failures. In Oregon, I didn't spend all my time around cigarettes. Here at home, most of my friends smoke, and sometimes I slip up. Sometimes I slip up for a few days in a row.

When Jesus had finished these parables, He moved on from there. Coming to His hometown, He began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. “Where did this Man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?” they asked. “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t His mother’s name Mary, and aren’t His brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? Aren’t all His sisters with us? Where then did this Man get all these things?” And they took offense at Him.

But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home.”

And He did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

- Matthew 13:53-58

I'm not saying I'm a prophet, and I'm definitely not trying to equate myself with Jesus, but I do think that the truth of what Jesus says still rings true today. Why would anybody listen to me talk about God? Isn't this the guy who dressed up as Twinkie the Kid in high school? Isn't this the guy who never showed up on time for anything once he had a driver's license? Isn't this the guy who did old Chris Farley gags on the bus?

Please, please, please - don't get me wrong, I love being home. It's just that I know I can do some better work somewhere else. That's what I'm more excited about.

I'm excited about being in a place where people see my Christian example without the burdensome trouble of knowing me 10 years ago.

I love Pink Floyd. I will never be upset with someone for suggesting Pink Floyd. Pink Floyd is awesome in ways that nobody else - including Led Zeppelin - ever comes close to. Pink Floyd is the only Pink Floyd.

I'm just more excited about listening to Led Zeppelin.

If I do get the job, I know I'm gonna miss home. I know it's going to be different being 2300 miles away from my parents and sister. I know it's going to be hard.

But I also know that it'll be worth it.

And if I don't get the job, I know I'll be somewhat disappointed, but I certainly won't be complaining.

I also know that it'll be totally worth it.

I'd appreciate your continued prayers for God's Will being done through me.

I will let you know what happens as soon as I know anything myself.

I love you all, and I love all of you.

The Gospel According to Led Zeppelin

In case you're just tuning in, here's the story so far: my favorite musical entity in the history of time is Led Zeppelin. It is kind of a thing with me.

Led Zeppelin. Just... oh, so good. So very good. My goodness, the goodness of Led Zeppelin. From the first album to the last, including the live shows, the bootlegs, the outtakes, the studio sessions, the rough cuts... everything. If it was Led Zeppelin, I love it. I'll admit that it's kind of an existential quandary whether I love everything Led Zeppelin did because it was Led Zeppelin doing it or if Led Zeppelin just did everything that I love, but either way - I love Led Zeppelin. Quite a bit.

My favorite song is "Over the Hills and Far Away," which is found on Zep's fifth album, Houses of the Holy, which, as it turns out, is my favorite album. Not just my favorite Led song and my favorite Led album, but my favorite song and favorite album.

A buddy of mine once asked me who I'd pick if I could put together the ultimate super-group consisting of my favorite vocalist, guitarist, bassist and drummer. My answer was Led Zeppelin. He said, "No, no, I don't think you're quite getting what I'm asking. I mean, like, if you could take a drummer from one band... and then a guitarist from another band... and, you know, make a whole band like that... who would you pick?"

Yeah, I got it the first time. My answer is still the same. Led Zeppelin. Jimmy Page is my favorite guitarist, Robert Plant is my favorite vocalist, John Bonham is my favorite drummer, John Paul Jones is my favorite bassist/organist/horn accompanist/everything-else-he-did-ist. Led Zeppelin is my favorite band.

If you hang out with me in a place where I have any control over the music, ever, there will come a time where Led Zeppelin comes up. It's just how it is. I'm GONNA play some Zeppelin. I don't care who I'm around, where I am, what's going on... If there's music to be heard and I'm at all in a position to choose what is played... Yeah. Zeppelin's gonna happen at some point.

I have been accused before of musical snobbery, and it's not like I can really rebut that accusation with too much truth... Yeah. I'm a music snob. I know what I like, and I'm pretty vehement about it. Is it possible that there is (or will be in the future) a band that I would enjoy more than Led Zeppelin? Well... Yeah... It's possible... But then, it's also possible that the entirety of the British monarchical family is killed in a freak photography accident and I'm crowned the next king of England, resulting in all sorts of zany mishaps with my clumsy attempts at a knighting, applying my own inimitable style to delicate matters of international diplomacy, and dealing with the pressures of being recognized at the Burger King nearest to Buckingham Palace.

Doesn't mean it's very likely.

I could go further, but I figure the point is pretty well made, and I'm definitely aware that most of my posts are long enough as it is. We don't need another 8 pages of me telling you how much I love Led Zeppelin. But what I do need for you to understand - in case you haven't picked up on it yet - is that I am a fan of Led Zeppelin. This point is integral to the case I am presenting in this post.

So now let's talk about God.

As much as I do love Led Zeppelin, God still wins. I know, I know... the previous fanboy rant may have called that into question for some of you, but I don't have a weekly blog dedicated to Zep. God is still my primary focus.

But part of what I've been thinking about a lot lately is the idea of apologetics. I know that's kind of a loaded term for a lot of people, and a confusing one for others. It's always hard to think about "apologetics" and not get to "apology." The two words are related, both rooted in the Greek word απολογία (apologia), which means "speaking in defense." We've come to think of an "apology" meaning simply an admission of guilt and an expression of regret, but the original usage of the word actually meant a formal defense of an idea, and that's all apologetics actually is.

I am specifically interested in the idea of Christian apologetics - a defense of Christianity. Not that I feel that Christianity needs protected, lest it fall apart under the scrutiny of the skeptical world, but a defense based on correcting misconceptions and misunderstandings of the Christian faith (that is - Christianity as I see it, which I would like to think is at least in the ballpark of the way God is showing it to us through Christ, the Holy Spirit, and the Bible).

It is in this same sense that Paul "defends" the gospel in Acts 26:2 and Philippians 1:7, and also in which Peter tells us to "be prepared to give an answer" in I Peter 3:15.

So what, then, are we to do?

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

- Matthew 22:34-40

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

- Matthew 28:19-20

Here's how I see the total sum of the responsibilities of Christianity: Love God, Love others. In Loving God and Loving others, we are tasked with the responsibility of introducing others to God. I briefly touched on this last week, noting that it's important for us to be able to find connections to God in the world outside of "the church" in order to build bridges of communication between ourselves and "the World." But what I want to specifically stress now is that it is every bit as important that we all, each of us, understand (to the fullest extent which we are able) the intellectual reasoning of our Faith.

What I'm saying here is that it's not enough to just say "God said it, I believe it, that settles it." That is an outrageously dangerous theological position to tie oneself to. I'm not saying that it's wrong to have a strong faith in the Word of God - that's very commendable. But to have a singularly directed and blind faith in the Word of God... Yeah, that's pretty dangerous.

It isn't enough that we know the Truth of the Bible and believe wholeheartedly that it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes. We've also got to know why it is that which it is.

Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.

- I Corinthians 14:20

Within the context of that chapter, Paul is specifically addressing the issue of speaking in tongues. In the Corinthian church, there had apparently been a problem of some members expressing the gift of speaking in tongues through the Holy Spirit to just babble on with nobody to interpret what was being said. While thanks were being given to God for the miraculous gifts displayed, the gifts were pointless because nobody was learning anything.

Paul's exhortation then is a reminder that we are to come together in our worship and fellowship not to praise God for blessing us with things that we haven't bothered to examine and understand, but to encourage, enlighten, and educate one another to the deeper truths of Christianity.

We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about cleansing rites, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And God permitting, we will do so.

- Hebrews 5:11-6:3

Notice that the writer says that those in his audience should be teachers by this point, and yet they constantly need reminded of the elementary principles of Christianity. This, to me, pretty plainly says that it is not enough for us to accept the gospel as infallibly true and never open our eyes or ears to anything else ever again.

Let me switch back over to Led Zeppelin for a minute.

As I'm sure you'll recall, Led Zeppelin is my favorite band.

Led Zeppelin is not, however, the only band I've ever heard.

Recently, I've been listening to a whole lot of the original line-up of the Allman Brothers Band. Led Zeppelin is still my favorite. I've been digging around and finding all sorts of live material from the early years of Yes that I'd not heard before. Led Zeppelin is still my favorite. Last week, I wrote about Eric Clapton, and the week before that, I wrote about Perpetual Groove. Led Zeppelin is still my favorite.

I've heard Lady GaGa. Led Zeppelin is definitely still my favorite.

I've got enough music on my computer that if I were to put it all into one big playlist, start at the beginning and let it play all the way through, I could go for some three months non-stop and not hear a song twice. Most radio stations have a library of something like 7,500-10,000 songs. I've got somewhere in the neighborhood of 20,000+ songs.

Led Zeppelin isn't my favorite band because they're the only thing I've ever heard, but instead, it's because I've actually heard a ridiculous amount of music that I can therefore say in the face of countless potential challengers, Led Zeppelin still tops my list.

I am not (necessarily) saying here that we can only be good Christians if we go out and research the tenets of other faiths. But I will say that it's very hard to show someone why Christianity makes more sense than other faiths if we don't even know why Christianity makes sense on its own.

Too often I have seen an approach to Christianity that doesn't allow for any questions. It is as though the beliefs of Christianity are so fragile that they can't stand up to even the slightest examination and scrutiny. Don't we believe that this is the Way, the Truth, and the Light? Isn't this supposed to be following after God's own Son, the Word made flesh? Aren't we actually operating under the assumption that our faith is correct anyway?

So what is there to be afraid of?

It doesn't do us a lot of good in spreading the gospel if our only response to an atheist's assertion that there is no God is to run away screaming, or to brand the atheist a heretic, or to quote Bible verses to someone who doesn't believe in the Bible in the first place. We've got to know what we're talking about.

Can you offer any evidence for the existence of God beyond your own beliefs?

Beyond that, can you help others understand why Christianity is the path you've chosen to follow, excluding all of the other thousands of options in the world today?

Or are you still living out a faith that was handed to you? Is your faith your own, or is it your parents'? Or your preacher's? Or your professor's? Or your spouse's?

Do you know why you believe what you believe?

Do you believe that what you believe is able to stand up to the tests of reason and logic? Or do you believe that "faith" is sequestered off in its own little corner of the brain, permanently exiled from rational thought?

What are you going to do when somebody tells you that God cannot possibly exist because evil exists in the world? How are you going to answer that? ("God moves in mysterious ways" is a cheap cop-out, by the way.)

I am really having to fight the temptation to lay out all "the answers" here. It somewhat defeats the purpose of asking if you have any answers of your own if I give you all of mine.

I can (easily) tell you for hours how much I love Led Zeppelin. But if you've never actually heard them, it doesn't make a difference in the world. And if I'm going to be the guy saying Led Zeppelin is so much better than everything else, shouldn't I at least have something to back that up? Shouldn't I at least be able to play a song or two for anybody who asks?

I'll admit here that not everybody likes Led Zeppelin. I can at least acknowledge that fact, even if I don't really get it. I can sit you down and play their entire catalog, from the 1968 Scandinavian tour as the New Yardbirds to the 1982 "leftovers" album, Coda, and you might not enjoy a lick of it. I don't at all see how that could be true, but it is definitely a possibility.

But that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop listening to them, or stop trying to expose every person on the planet to their awesome.

Similarly, I've got to admit that not everybody is going to become a Christian. I could present a defense for the faith on par with Paul in the Areopagus or C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity to every single person on this planet and there would still be plenty of folks who don't see it. There would still be folks who don't believe. That is to be expected. That is Biblically guaranteed.

But it doesn't mean I'm going to stop believing, or stop trying to share my faith with the world over.

There are people in the world - like Brian Flemming, writer/director/narrator of "The God Who Wasn't There" - who will try to tell you that Jesus of Nazareth wasn't even a real person, much less the Son of God.

What are you going to say to that?

Have an answer. Not only does the potential faith of the people you encounter in your life depend on it, but it's very probable that your faith depends on it as well.

Seeing What I Want to See

I don't know about you, but 2010 was awesome for me.

Was every day of the year blue skies and rainbows? Oh, merciful goodness, no. By no means! There was heartache all over. There was impatient anger and indignant fury. There were lies and betrayals. There were lots of disappointments on some seriously fundamental levels. BAD STUFF HAPPENED this past year, make no mistake.

But 2010 is going to go down in my own personal history books as the year I finally let God take full control of my life, and that fact alone has made it by far my best non-1983 year to date.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

- Matthew 7:7-8

I will give thanks to You, LORD, with all my heart;

I will tell of all Your wonderful deeds.

I will be glad and rejoice in You;

I will sing the praises of Your name, O Most High.

Those who know Your name trust in You,

for You, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You.

- Psalm 9:1-2, 10

I will extol the LORD at all times;

His praise will always be on my lips.

I will glory in the LORD;

let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the LORD with me;

let us exalt His name together.

I sought the LORD, and He answered me;

He delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to Him are radiant;

their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;

He saved him out of all his troubles.

- Psalm 34:1-6

You, God, are my God,

earnestly I seek You;

I thirst for You,

my whole being longs for You,

in a dry and parched land

where there is no water.

I have seen You in the sanctuary

and beheld Your power and Your glory.

Because Your Love is better than life,

my lips will glorify You.

I will praise You as long as I live,

and in Your name I will lift up my hands.

I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise You.

- Psalm 63:1-5

But if you seek the LORD your God, you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.

- Deuteronomy 4:29

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

- Hebrews 11:6

I hope you picked up a theme in all of that. In case you didn't, let me sum it up:

IF YOU LOOK FOR GOD, YOU WILL FIND HIM.

Before I go any further, let me make something perfectly clear: I do not understand atheism.

Yeah, I know what atheism is. I get that.

And yeah, I can see how it came about. That's not a problem.

But what I specifically don't understand is this idea that it's up to God to show us He exists instead of being up to us to find Him - especially when God specifically says, "If you look for Me, you will find Me," as I've already pointed out.

Bertrand Russell - 20th century British philosopher, logician, mathematician, historian, prolific writer, and renowned atheist - was once asked what he would say to God if, after his death, he found himself standing at the Judgment. How would he explain his staunch atheism?

"I will say: ‘I’m terribly sorry, but you didn’t give us enough evidence.’"

Now... I don't know what would have qualified as "enough evidence" in Russell's mind. Paul makes an appeal in the beginning chapters of Romans that earth itself is enough to point to God, and a similar theme is brought up in the first six verses of Psalm 19.

And I don't have any problem admitting that I'm not entirely up to snuff on the textual criticism of the Bible. I do not personally possess the knowledge sufficient to defend the early dates or the traditionally ascribed authorship of the New Testament. If there are doubts about the historical legitimacy and authenticity of the text, there will be doubts about the veracity of the text. This is an entirely understandable objection.

But let me, in my objection to the atheistic requirement that God provide the evidence for His existence, provide some evidence on His behalf.

I looked for God.

I found Him.

(This happens to be exactly what God said would happen.)

Now, it makes all the sense in the world to me to think that this would be enough to turn even the most stubborn of atheists, but of course, that's not the case, so let me go a little further.

You know those little sausage balls that show up every once in a while at the good church get-togethers and Christmas parties and wedding receptions and all that? The unbelievably delicious little perfect mixture of sausage, cheese, and crispy breading? You wanna know how to make those? Get ready, because here it comes:

3 cups Bisquick

1 lb. sausage

1 lb. cheese

Mix all ingredients. Scoop out mixture into little sausage ball-sized sausage balls.

Bake at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes, or until sausage balls are a crispy golden brown, like sausage balls ought to be.

You have now made sausage balls. Congratulations, everybody loves you.

Now... if you try that recipe and green bean casserole comes out of your oven, one of two things will be true. Option number one is that I lied to you. Option number two is that you didn't follow the recipe. Which of those two do you believe to be more likely? Would I have any reason to lie to you about how to make sausage balls? Come on. Think about this. I am a fat dude, and there is always the possibility of you sharing with me, so I will do everything within my power to ensure the existence of sausage balls.

It seems to me that the atheist position of asking God to prove Himself (when God has said that if we look for Him we will find Him) is a lot like someone saying that the recipe for sausage balls can't possibly be true because the sausage balls don't make themselves. If you're not willing to follow the recipe, you can't ever know if the recipe is actually right.

The big objection to me tying the theory of the recipe for sausage balls to God is, of course, going to be that we all know sausage balls exist because we've all seen them, smelled them, eaten them, thrown violent temper tantrums when we ran out of them... (Well, maybe not ALL of us have done that.)

But God - whom even the Bible says no man has ever seen (John 1:18, I John 4:12) - cannot be proven in the same way as sausage balls, right?

Well...

God says, "If you look for Me, you will find Me." I looked for God and I found Him. Turns out God was right! Isn't that neat?

Now I know that argument would probably never hold up against a committed atheist, especially an atheist who already knows that there's not even a possibility of a God. The atheist rebuttal to my "finding" God would inevitably boil down to the idea of my living under a delusion, separate from reason, in defiance of evidence to the contrary... After all, if I'm seeing God at work in my life, then I'm only seeing what I want to see, so it can't be true.

This is another one that blows my mind.

Dad and I wanted to see True Grit. So we went to the theater and saw True Grit. We both really enjoyed it.

Did we see what we wanted to see? Yep. Sure did.

So does that mean that we didn't actually see True Grit?

I could go on, but I think you get the picture, so now I can move on to the point I really wanted to make.

I've been framing this whole thing since the wall-o'-scripture in a Christian-versus-atheist light because it allows me to use really broad strokes and get the BIG idea across. But now, I've got to do some detail work and talk Christian to Christian.

If you're a Christian, I know you already believe in God. I know you already believe in Jesus. I know you already trust the Bible to be accurate.

But what I don't know is if you're actually taking it seriously.

Let me stress the "I don't know" part of that last sentence. I'm not saying you're not taking it seriously. I'm just saying that I don't know. You're the only one who can.

Well... You and God.

Ask yourself... Do you actually believe Jesus when He says, in Matthew 6, that if you seek God first, everything else will fall into place?

Do you actually believe Him when He says, in Matthew 7, that if you seek Him, you will find Him?

Do you actually believe what the writer of Hebrews says, in the 11th chapter of the letter, that God rewards those who earnestly seek Him?

Now... If you actually believe these things, do you actually live it out?

Is God really your first priority? Does God win out over your job? Your hobbies? Your family? Your own life?

You're the only person who can answer those questions, and God's the only other one who'll know if you're telling the truth.

If God IS your first priority, I don't doubt at all that you're seeing a lot of the same things I've been blessed enough to see over the past year. I don't doubt that you're seeing the fruits of the Spirit borne in your life. I don't doubt that you're overcoming evil with good. I don't doubt that you're finding yourself stronger and stronger in the face of temptation. I don't doubt that you're finding more and more each day that God is the only thing in your life that really fulfills you. I definitely don't doubt that you're overflowing with joy and can't keep from telling people just how amazing God is.

But if He's NOT... Let me encourage you - as someone who very, very, very recently did not have God anywhere near the center of his life - to seriously consider making 2011 the year that changes your life. Look for God. You will find Him. And when you do... words fail me for expressing the way the Glory of God will manifest itself in your life in a very real, very powerful, very holy way. I wish I could tell you in a way that you could truly understand. I wish I could just GIVE it to you, because it would change everything for you.

I just really wish you could see what I see, because I'm seeing exactly what I wanted to see, and it's better than I could have ever imagined.

As 2010 comes to a close, my prayer for myself is that I will not just hold firm to the faith that has completely redefined my very existence, but that I will continue to go deeper in that faith, deeper into the very heart of God, led by His Spirit, following His Son, and encouraging everyone I come in contact with to do the same. My prayer for you is similar: I pray that each day brings you closer and closer to His Will for your life than you were the day before.

I love you so much.

Happy New Year.

Do me a favor.

Pray that God's will be done in Madras, Oregon.

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

- James 5:16

Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

- Luke 18:10-14

I don't care if you haven't been to church in years, I don't care if you're on the way out the door to church right now. If you care for me and if you believe even in the slightest that there's a God in Heaven, I want you to pray for me that His will be done in Madras, Oregon.

I love you all and I'll let you know what happens when I know what happens.

Is "Not Bad" Good Enough?

When I was five years old, my family lived in Jacksonville Beach, Florida. During that year, we made plenty of trips out to the beach - more than I can remember. One thing I can say I remember about our beach trips, however, was the sandcastle bucket.

It wasn't anything fancy - just a cheap little plastic pail with a handle and a shovel, and on the bottom of the bucket were little indentions that were meant to mimic the battlements of a castle tower.

There were two primary uses for the bucket when we went to the beach. I seem to remember that Lyn, who would have been two at the time, preferred to simply use the shovel (or her hands) to fill the bucket with sand. The purpose seemed to be to just have a bucket of sand. I'm not really sure. But whatever the purpose, the bucket's function was limited to one thing - keeping the sand in one place, not letting it get outside of a certain pre-defined set of bucket-shaped boundaries.

The other use, however, was to mash the bucket down on a big pile of sand, so that when you picked the bucket up, there now sat one of the many towers that would be added onto the glorious sand equivalent of Windsor Castle, with a construction vulnerable only to the erosive powers of the pounding surf or the boredom-borne destructive whims of a five-year-old boy and his two-year-old sister.

Can the bucket be used to just keep sand in one place? Sure.

But it's actually meant to be used to mold the sand into a desired shape. That's really the whole purpose of its specific design.

And in fact, the same thing is true for Christianity.

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

- Matthew 5:17-20

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

- Matthew 23:23-24

Matthew 23 is one of the most powerful chapters in all of the Gospels, because it is nothing but Jesus telling the most super-religious people of His day that they were completely missing the point. A life of holiness isn't just about avoiding sin - and this is what the Pharisees were so very about, adding their own layers to the Law in order to keep themselves miles away from the possibility of sin - but at its core, a life spent in pursuit of God's righteousness is actually about being good.

Just like the bucket could be used to simply keep the sand in one place, Christianity could be seen as a way to set up parameters that define our lives by what we are not allowed to do, where we are not allowed to go, and words we are not allowed to say. But - just like the bucket - that's not what it's actually designed to do.

"Not bad" isn't good enough. Living a life free from sin isn't good enough. We've got to go the extra step and be proactively good, pursuing righteousness above all else.

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

- Luke 6:27-38

As Christians, we know that it is wrong to murder, steal, rape, lie or cheat. But doesn't the world know that, too? No civilization in the history of ever has said that it's just OK to wantonly kill anyone without reason. Murder is bad on a universal scale. So just avoiding murder isn't enough to make us different from the world, is it?

What about loving our enemies? Is that what makes us different from the world?

By and large, the world is satisfied with a definition of morality that says "Just leave me alone and don't get in my way." That's not good enough for a Christian. We are called to something higher - Love.

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

- Matthew 22:24-40

Notice that nowhere in either of those two greatest commandments did Jesus mention not sinning. Why is that? Is it because avoiding sin isn't important?

Oh, heavens no.

Maybe it's just because if we're focused on actually living a life filled with righteousness, holiness, Love for God and Love for others, we're not really going to have a lot of room in our lives for sin.

Will we still occasionally mess up? Sure.

But isn't that the whole reason our sins were forgiven in the first place?

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.

- James 2:8

What else do we need? A life focused on avoiding sin is a life fearfully focused on rules. A life focused on Loving God and our neighbors is a life joyfully focused on God and His wonderful creation.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

- James 1:19-27

Keeping ourselves free from the pollution of the world is awesome. It's a big deal. It's very important.

But it isn't the end of the story.

Love for others - especially those who cannot provide for themselves - is the work of God in this world.

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.

In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

- James 2:14-26

It doesn't matter what you believe if you don't do anything about it. You can believe all you like that Jesus is the King of the Universe and that your sins are forgiven through His death and resurrection - but the demons of hell believe that, so who cares? The difference is entirely based on what you do with that belief.

You can believe that a traffic light is red all day long and it won't make any difference unless you actually stop.

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

- James 4:17

There are plenty of verses in the Bible that I like to think of when I'm dealing with particularly difficult people because I know that God will deal with them far, far, far better than I ever could. This, however, is not one of those verses. This one, quite simply, scares me. This might be one of the most damning verses in the entire Bible.

It's not enough to just be "not bad" - we actually have to make it far enough up the ladder to be wholly in "good" territory. And if we're not being good... THAT'S BAD!

Spending our lives only avoiding sin is sin itself. If we are not focused on attaining righteousness, we are falling short of the name of Christian.

A (potential) Leap of Faith

So tomorrow morning I fly out to Oregon to meet the congregation at the Madras church of Christ.

I'm gonna be up there for 12 days - from the 2nd to the 14th - preaching on the two Sundays in between, as well as teaching the Wednesday night Bible class.

It's a small church (for now!), with an average of about 20 people showing up most Sundays from what I understand. That also seems to be a generous estimate. I'm not sure.

There's a lot of complicated history with the church that I'm not entirely sure I can follow just yet, and they haven't had a preacher for about three years, so maybe their standards have fallen low enough by this point that they're willing to give me a shot. That is in fact the entire purpose of this trip, as I'm sure you've guessed - I'm going up to see if I'm a good fit for this congregation and if they're a good fit for me.

I also just got off the phone with Sallie Mae.

I do not like that woman.

My loans are coming down on me in a way that I just can't do anything about. I have been looking - looking hard - for a job, but things just haven't been happening. And I haven't just been looking for church jobs, I've been looking for a regular job-job, too. Dollar General, Lowe's, Wal-Mart, Burger King, seven different gas stations, Harris Teeter, Whole Foods, Costco, Publix, McDonald's, floor refinishing, delivery jobs... no, no, no, no, no... all no. I have no money, I have no job, and I have a whole lot of debt that is very insistent on ignoring the fact that I have no money and have no job.

It's enough to get a guy kinda discouraged.

OK, fine... Really discouraged.

I'm at a crossroads of the principles of my faith and the principles of the world. On the right, I have God telling me that He has a plan for me, and that things will work out, one way or another, sooner or later. God tells me (and, coincidentally, you) over and over that it's not up to me how things work out (James 4:13-14, Jeremiah 29:11-13, Philippians 4:4-7, Proverbs 3:5, I Peter 5:6-7, Psalm 48:14), and beyond that, Jesus tells us in no uncertain terms that we're not supposed to worry about money or stress out about tomorrow, but instead to focus completely on God, trusting that He'll take care of us (Matthew 6:19-34).

And on the other hand there's a few voices in the world telling me to do nothing but completely freak the ever-loving electric cuss-words out about not being able to repay my loans. If I don't pay off my loans, then the rest of my life is completely sunk.

Money, it's a crime

Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie

Money, so they say,

Is the root of all evil today

But if you ask for a raise it's no surprise that they're

giving none away...

- Pink Floyd

A lot of what I'm thinking about right now goes back to what I wrote in "The Safe Bet" a few weeks back. I made the point in that post that if we are going to claim to live as though God is real, then perhaps we ought to live our lives as though we actually believed it. God says He's going to take care of us, He tells us not to worry about money, He tells us to just trust Him, take care of each day as it comes, and live our lives as completely focused on serving Him as we can.

And the thing is... I know all of that...

But man, I don't mind telling you at all that I am still scared senseless.

The pressure from the loans is bad enough, believe me... But it's not like Oregon is just up the street from Tennessee. It's not like I've actually got a lot of experience at being a preacher. It's not like I don't have doubts eating away at me every second of the day, especially as that flight gets closer and closer with every hour.

But you wanna know something really crazy?

I had already made up my mind before we even left for church this past Sunday morning to go forward during the invitation and ask for the congregation's prayers about this whole Oregon trip deal. But when we got to church and the sermon was entirely drawn from Hebrews 11, the "faith chapter" of the Bible... Well... That was kind of exactly what I needed to hear.

Isn't the whole point of faith in the first place that we actually live it out?

Isn't the whole point of faith in Jesus that we face up to the challenges that are going to come our way?

Isn't the whole point of faith in God that we accept that things may not make a lot of sense by the world's standard, but knowing throughout it all God has a plan for us?

I have to admit that I don't know what that plan is. I don't know if it's Oregon. I really don't even know if it's a church job at all, at this point. Like I said - the doubts, they are a-plenty.

But through countless hours of prayer - and not just my own, but also those of the army of people whom God has led into my life who are all supporting me at every turn - and dedicating myself to studying the Bible as best as I know how, this is what I feel like God's asking me to do.

And it's big.

But hey... I serve a Lord who died for me.

I guess the least I can do is fly to Oregon.

I would really appreciate your prayers. Not only for me, but for the Madras church. One way or another, the next 12 days are going to change my life, and hopefully the lives of a few other people. In all things, however, I hope that my words and actions can lead others - and myself - closer and closer to the eternal presence of God.

The End of the World

Korea just happened. As I write this, it's 2:41 AM CST on Tuesday, November 23, 2010, and on the other side of the planet, some 20 minutes ago, North Korea just fired on South Korea. I don't know how big a deal this is gonna turn out to be. Right now, the reports I'm seeing say that 2 South Korean soldiers are dead, with another 15 soldiers wounded, as well as three civilians. That may not seem like a lot, but nobody died during the actual battle of Fort Sumter, and that still tipped off the American Civil War, so who knows what could go down in Korea?

Now, I'll fully admit that I'm not the most geo-politically aware guy in the neighborhood, but I do understand that Kim Jong-il is on an entirely separate wavelength of crazy than the majority of world leaders, and that North Korea claims to have nuclear capabilities.

So it's entirely possible that things are gonna get crazy here pretty soon. I don't know.

And I don't want to be taking part in any kind of fear-mongering hysteria, like all the panic that went down about Y2K, H1N1, SARS, mad cow disease or anything else like that, but seriously, you have to at least consider the possibility that there's a very silly man with a severe cult of personality sitting in Pyongyang with way, way, WAY too much destructive power at his fingertips, and he just might get carried away with it and unleash something that changes the face of the earth for all time.

But so what?

Every few years, NASA or somebody will release another report about another meteor or comet or asteroid or whatever that might be headed towards earth's orbit and could possibly destroy all human life if we know it if it hits us.

So what?

The world might end in a nuclear holocaust tomorrow. Fiery death might crash down upon us all from the cold depths of space. It could also rain.

So what?

I'm not saying those things aren't bad, and I'm not saying that the loss of life wouldn't be tragic. I'm just saying that it shouldn't make any direct impact on the way you and I live our lives right now, and I think that for most of us, it already doesn't.

But what about the potential things of the future that we do let control our lives? We get caught up in money, in planning our futures, in planning our money for our futures, in worrying about what's gonna happen if someone gets sick...

Why?

I do not claim any sort of exclusive understanding of the Bible, nor do I want people to think that I am anything close to a "Bible scholar." I read it the best I can, and I read it often, but there are still huge stretches that I just do not understand.

For instance, the majority of the book of Revelation. I'll just straight up admit right now that I got no idea what's goin' on there. God wins. That's about as good as I can get it.

But in my encounters with Christians of other backgrounds, I've come across all sorts of interpretations for the prophetic message of John's Apocalypse. I've heard about millennialism, premillennialism (both post- and pre-tribulational), postmillennialism, amillennialism... And you know what? I don't really even understand any of them. I'll just own up to my ignorance here.

But I'll also own up to the fact that it is at least in part a willful ignorance. It's not that I think Revelation should just be ignored or anything, it's just that I don't think it's really worth too much of our time to be all caught up in trying to understand the end of the world, and there's two specific reasons for this.

Reason #1

But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

Matthew 24:36

If Jesus Himself doesn't know, why are we even trying to figure it out?

Reason #2 (actually the far bigger of the two reasons)

Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.”

Luke 17:20-21

Oh, right... We're supposed to be living like it's already here.

As I've mentioned before, if we're focused on the future reward of our faith, we're not living in its present responsibility. And like I said last week, if you're gonna believe in God, believe what He says, do what He asks... Then why are we doing anything but living in the moment?

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

James 4:13-17

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:25-34

You know what? It may be tomorrow. Tomorrow may be the end of the whole thing. Is that going to change how I live my life for God?

But what if it's another 2,000 years from now? Or even more? What if we're still the "early" church?

Does it matter?

Does it make a difference?

It shouldn't.

Live today - and every day - for God. Live right now for God. Don't worry about the future - God will still be there. You might not be.

Jesus asks us to do something that is so contrary to what the world tells us we have to do in order to have productive lives - He tells us to focus on living in the moment. He tells us to stop worrying about the future. He tells us to seek God first, above everything else, above retirement plans, above food, clothing and shelter, above any of the other millions of things we have floating around in our lives that keep us from focusing on who He is and who we are in relation to Him.

This is going up the day before Thanksgiving. I may not even make it to tomorrow. I sure hope I do! But even if I don't, I've got enough faith in the God that I serve that I know that I'll be OK. And even if I make it to Thanksgiving 2083, I'll still be in the hands of the God that made me, and things will still be OK.

If the whole ride comes to a screeching halt today, how's it gonna go down? Are you trusting the One who's in control, or are you trying to control it all yourself?

Just a Few Questions

I eat too much Taco Bell.

I doubt that's a huge surprise to most of you. Anybody can take a look at me - even just a passing glance, really - and it's not gonna be that much of a stretch to get to "This dude eats too many things that are mostly comprised of meat and cheese."

But the thing about me eating too much Taco Bell is that I actually eat less of too much than I used to. I used to eat way too much. Now... yeah, it's still too much, but it's less than it was. My run for the border occurs a little less frequently than it used to, I don't order an entire side of the menu when I go, and I've pretty much abandoned trying to actually live up to the idea of "Fourthmeal," even with that being as pleasant of a challenge as it was.

Now, the goal here is obviously to get to a point where I don't eat "too much" Taco Bell, but in fact eat the right amount of Taco Bell. (I fully realize that there are some in our world who would suggest that the "right" amount of Taco Bell is no Taco Bell at all, but I don't care about those folks' opinions, because they're also the kind of people who insist that a half-cup of ice cream is a "serving," and we all know that's patently ridiculous...)

I'm not at the goal... And it's arguable that I'm not really even all that close to the goal just yet... But I'm definitely closer than I was... So is that progress?

More than that being progress... is that good?

I know that it is not good in and of itself that I still eat too much Taco Bell. That's bad. I know that.

But is it good that I eat less of too much? Or is it still just hopelessly awful all the way up until I'm only ordering a single "Fresco" burrito once every three months? (This will never happen.)

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My buddy Will and I went into Dickson the other night to see a movie. Once it was over, we got to doing what we do best - cruising around aimlessly, listening to music and shooting the breeze.

Will was driving, and our wanderings took us fairly deep into what was unfamiliar territory for him: the vast untamed wilds of Dickson County, including but not limited to the sprawling metropolises of Vanleer, Slayden, and Tennessee City.

So once we'd decided that it was time to turn back towards home, Will didn't really know where we were. And it's not like I'm super familiar with Vanleer or anything, but I at least knew how to get back to the house, and gave directions along the way. After a while, though, we came back into a part of Dickson where I thought Will would be able to recognize where we were. We came to a red light and Will asked me which way we should go.

"Dude, don't you know where we are yet?"

Will replied with a tone of humble resignation. "No, man... Not at all."

I pointed out the window. "The high school's right there."

"Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah... OK. I got it now. Awesome."

And then we drove home. End of story. Yaaaaaaaaaaay.

But what I wanna know is this: is it entirely necessary when giving directions to spell out every step that's going to be taken on the drive, or is it good enough to just point out familiar landmarks and let the driver take it from there?

Will didn't know where we were for a good bit of that drive. He had vague ideas of how to get back home - if you're in Dickson County and trying to head to Hickman County, at some point South has got to happen. I gave directions when they were necessary, but for the most part, I let Will do the driving on his own. After all, he was the one driving. I was controlling the iPod, and that's a job that takes some serious concentration.

So did that make me a bad navigator? Or can my success be judged by the fact that we actually got home?

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When the discussion comes around to which actor had the best portrayal of James Bond, the answer is Sean Connery.

This is not a matter of opinion, it is simply how it is.

Sure, you may prefer Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig... Or if you're some kind of weirdo, Roger Moore... (I don't think there's really anybody out there who would pick George Lazenby or Timothy Dalton, but if you happen to be reading this, congratulations, you're a statistical singularity.)

But it doesn't matter what you prefer: Sean Connery is the right answer.

James Bond creator Ian Fleming was not originally sold on Connery as Bond. Roger Moore had actually been considered during production of Dr. No, but was rejected as being too young. Moore later went on to become the oldest actor to portray Bond (58), even beating out David Niven (57) as Bond in the spoof version of Casino Royale. (Niven had in fact been Fleming's first choice to portray Bond in the "official" EON production series.)

After the release of Dr. No, however, Fleming changed his mind about Sean Connery. In fact, he changed his mind so much that he changed James Bond. In On Her Majesty's Secret Service, the first novel written after the Dr. No movie, Fleming provides details about Bond's lineage, stating that his father was Scottish, which was a change from the earlier novels which provided an Irish upbringing for Bond.

So, yeah. Sean Connery was so good at being James Bond that the creator of James Bond changed James Bond to be more like Sean Connery.

But what about when I do have those discussions with those seldom people who - for some reason - prefer another actor over Connery, what can I say? Yeah, they're entitled to their opinions... but their opinion is objectively not right.

So when are we allowed to say, "You're wrong"? When can we actually bust that out? It seems to me that "You're wrong" is just about the ultimate taboo phrase in today's world. People will insist that there's really no right or wrong, it's all just whatever you believe that works for you.

I dunno about that. You can believe that 2+2=5 all you want. I can't stop you there... but is it part of my responsibility to tell you the actual truth?

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Consider a man whose entire adult life has been in pursuit of satiating the carnal desires of the flesh. When he meets a woman he likes, he uses all of his considerable charm to land her in his bed. Maybe it's only once, maybe it's several times, but either way, it's sex. That's how this guy operates: he has sex with women. It's his deal.

Now let's say that this man encounters Christ in a way that he never has before and finally begins to understand the point of Christianity. He decides to at least attend services regularly, and is becoming genuinely interested in the message behind each sermon.

As he continues to get churched up, he reconsiders his approach to women and decides that maybe - just maybe - his incessant fornication is not the best choice he could be making. Does he still pick up the occasional girl? Sure does. Is he moving towards monogamous relationships? Yeah, seems like it.

Is his view on sex all the way up to good yet? From a Christian standard, of course not.

But... is it better?

In one's pursuit of holiness, there should never be any mistaking "less bad" for "good," but all the same, "less bad" actually is less bad, and that's a lot to be considered, especially when thinking about those who are considering Christianity.

And with those same folks considering Christianity, do we really have to give them the instructions on how to get all the way home when they're still a long ways out?

From what I've seen, there's this kind of drive in evangelistic or missionary outreaches to get people to commit to Christ immediately, just in case God shows up in the next twenty minutes. As soon as the conversation turns to God, there's a loaded Bible pointed at your head and somebody's hunting down a swimming pool to use as a baptismal immediately if not sooner.

What happened to taking our time? What happened to actually counting the cost? Too many of today's Christians became Christians when they were too young to actually understand what they were getting themselves into. Too many of today's former Christians were the ones who became Christians at a time when their ideas of how people function in the world were still being shaped, and the shortcomings of the Christians around them turned them off to the faith that they had so recently proclaimed.

Is it entirely necessary to make every single attempt of spreading the Gospel a conversion experience? Is planting a seed not good enough anymore? Is there a reason we act like we have to clear the land and replant an entire tree now, all in one move?

And what about the other people sitting around the churches who are imposing impossible moral standards on these new converts? What about the people who are uncomfortable letting the guy in the less-nice clothes with the tattoos on his neck into church because he looks like a sinner? When can we say, "HEY! YOU'RE WRONG!" to those folks?

I know that it's pretty much the worst thing in the world to tell someone, "I'm being a better Christian than you," but sometimes I think I'd be willing to cross that line if I thought it would do any good.

We've come to a point where, like the Pharisees, we expect people to live up to our moral codes and meet our standards for righteousness - a moral code and righteousness defined in most cases by a lifetime of growing up in a church. What about a guy who grew up in the most evil, hate-filled, miserable pit of suffering on this Earth? Should we expect him to immediately conform to our standards of morality? Does God expect that?

Or should we be looking for improvement?

Don't get me wrong... Sin is sin is sin, all the way through. One sin is just as damning as one thousand sins. But in a pursuit of perfection, managing to go from one thousand sins to one sin is pretty commendable. Is it perfection? No. Is it better? Well... I think so.

We've come to a point where, like the Pharisees, we smack people right on the nose with the full out strength of the Gospel as soon as they show the slightest interest in knowing anything about God, and we hold a spiritual gun to their heads, telling them they've got to become Christians NOW because they might die AT ANY SECOND and if they died on the way to be baptized then they'd still go to hell because God is super scary and doesn't actually like any of us. Fear is an awesome motivator for a religion based on love, don't you think?

Shouldn't we maybe just be content to plant the seeds? I have atheist friends. It is kind of silly for me to try to convince them that they should give their lives up to Christ when they don't believe that God even exists in the first place. So maybe there's gotta be some groundwork done. Maybe there needs to be some foundation laid before we can get to Jesus. Maybe we're trying to shove a pre-packaged form of Christian outreach down people's throats so we can tick off "Spreading the Gospel" on our How-To list for going to Heaven.

And maybe that's wrong.

Maybe we've lost sight of the fact that our journey to God is a... uhh... you know... journey. Jesus refers to the straight and narrow path, not the straight and narrow landing platform. The entire point of this whole thing is that we all grow closer to God. If somebody goes from very, very, very far away from God to just far away from God, I think that's a step in the right direction, don't you?

A Simple Prayer

Dear God, Merciful Father, Heavenly King, Lord and Creator of All...

Forgive us.

Forgive us, God, for messing it up.

I don't know where we went wrong, I don't know when, and I don't know how, but I look around and I see what Christianity has become today and I can't help but think that we're not doing it quite the way You planned.

We've come to a point where You are not the foundation of our lives... You're more like the spackle, filling in the cracks that bother us enough to do something about.

We've come to a point where we've decided that the way we're supposed to Love others is by making sure we tell them they're wrong before anything else.

We've come to a point where we don't ask You what we should do, but instead we ask You to bless what we've decided we're doing anyway.

It's almost like we don't even think You're actually there anymore.

It's almost like we're following You just to be on the safe side.

It's almost like we've let Christianity become an abstract idea to be argued and debated instead of lived out in a very self-sacrificing, very loving, very real way.

It's almost like we've started using You and Your Son as an excuse to be indignant towards The World, trying to force it to conform to our sensibilities and morals so we don't have to struggle with the temptations it provides, instead of us being the ones who show The World what it's like when You are actively involved in the lives of the people who have chosen to follow you.

God... Help us.

Help us see each other as equals in Your sight - all equally sinful on our own, and all equally worthy of Your Love.

Help us see past the divisions that we've set up for ourselves - divisions of denomination, of politics, of economics - and unite in Love.

Help us see the Truth that You laid out for us - that You Love us, and that our one task in this world is to Love You.

Dear God, I look around me and I see the world hurting and I see the church failing in its task to show the world Your presence in Love.

I see cities with more churches than gas stations, but the cities are still overrun with people without homes, without clothes, without food, without hope... and I can't help but think that something is wrong.

I see churches fall apart from the inside out because of power struggles and stubbornness and selfishness... and I can't help but think that something is wrong.

I see people on TV assuring me that if I'll just put my trust in You, You'll make me rich and comfortable in this world... Or, even worse, I see people buy into that idea... and I can't help but think that something is wrong.

We complain about the state of the world and we pray for You to be swift in Your judgment of it... but we're not taking the time out of our day to clean the place up before You get here.

We come together in our churches and huddle together to remind each other of how bad it is out there... and then we go home to watch the game, never thinking that maybe it's gotten so bad out there because we've dropped the ball.

We tell each other to trust in You... but we won't trust You enough to take the small steps outside of our comfort zone to interact with The World that is so desperately in need of Your Love, the Love that is our one single task in this world to show.

God...

I don't know how you do it. I look around and my heart breaks, and I know that I'm every bit as much a part of the problem as anyone else.

I can't even imagine what it's like for You.

I can't even imagine how much it hurts You to see Your children - Your CHURCH - sitting on the sidelines, turning a blind eye to the suffering all around us, ignoring the constant plea for help coming from every street corner on the planet.

I can't even imagine what it would look like if we actually decided to do what You asked us to do by Loving others the same way that You Love us.

God... I still believe in You. I still believe in Your power. I still believe in Your presence. I still believe in Your Word, Your Spirit, and Your Love for me and all of mankind.

Help me show the world what You mean to me.

Help me show the church what You mean to me.

Help me show my friends and family what You mean to me.

Help me be the man that You want me to be.

Help us all be the church that You want us to be.

Help Christianity be what You set out for it to be - Love, changing the world.

Father... On my own, I'm tired, I'm scared, I'm lonely, and I'm weak.

But with You... I can climb the highest mountain, I can face the fiercest lion, I am surrounded by Your presence, and I am filled with Your might.

God, please... Show them. Show them all. Show them Your Face. Show them Your Hand. Show them Your Love.

I need You, God. I need You more than I need air, water, food... even my life. I need You.

I want to be Your instrument in this world. I want to be a herald of Your Kingdom. I want to be a servant at Your table. I want to be Your worker.

Please, Father... Show me how to be the man You made me to be.

Show the church how to be the church You designed it to be.

Show us all how to live our lives centered on the Love that You first showed us, the Love that created us, the Love that spared us, the Love that redeemed us.

And please, God... Please... Forgive us.

In Christ's Holy and Wonderful Name,

Amen