Nerd Rage and a Statement of Purpose

You wanna make a nerd mad? Get his obsession wrong.

You can take the easy way out - asking about the latest episode of "Star Track" is a pretty popular choice - or you can get really advanced and spend over 250 million dollars on an unholy abomination that ruins whatever credibility was built up with the first two movies...

I can't say enough about how wrong Spider-Man 3 was. And it's not just that 3 was so horrible on its own that makes it sting the most... The real salt in the wound is that Spider-Man 2 was nigh-upon perfect. Doctor Octopus is my favorite Spider-Man villain, and the flawless portrayal by Alfred Molina fit seamlessly into an outstanding story that balanced action, romance, personal pathos, and just the right amount of comedy.

But Spider-Man 3... Oh, goodness. That really set a standard for bad movies as far as I'm concerned. The third X-Men movie, X-Men: The Last Stand, was pretty bad. The Roger Moore James Bond movies start off pretty terrible and get worse as they go along. Beer For My Horses was so bad that it wasn't even worth mocking. But none of those are as bad as Spider-Man 3. It's a disaster.

There are a lot of reasons for the 2 hours and 19 minutes of torture found in Spider-Man 3, but it mostly boils down to the studio folks shoving the Venom character into the script against director Sam Raimi's wishes. Sam Raimi felt (correctly) that Venom is a pretty dumb character who wouldn't really work with the style of Spider-Man stories he had told with the first two movies. The studio guys didn't care about that - they just knew that Venom was a hugely popular character (mainly among people who don't actually read Spider-Man comics and just have vague recollections of the '90s cartoon and video games) who could sell a lot of toys on the cheap, because hey, it's Spider-Man painted black.

So the studio guys force Venom on Raimi, Raimi forces Venom onto his version of Spider-Man, and the whole thing comes out an ugly mess.

And whaddya know, a convenient metaphor for the church in today's world just showed up!

I think most of you reading this have already seen this somewhere else, but I didn't get the job with the church in Oregon.

For the record, I also didn't get the job with the church in Tennessee, California, Montana, Alabama, Arkansas, Virginia, South Carolina, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Hawaii, Arizona, Mississippi or Ontario. I'm sure I've left a few out, but it really doesn't matter - I didn't get the job there, either.

I don't want people to think I'm harboring any sort of negativity to any of the churches that have turned me down in the past two years. God has a plan for those congregations, and I'm not a part of that plan. That's OK, because God also has a plan for me, and it's really starting to look like part of God's plan for me is to bypass working at an established congregation of any kind and plant one of my own.

Like Paul leaving the Jews to reach the Gentiles, I'm leaving the churched to reach the unchurched.

It has become very obvious to me, through an occasionally painful and disheartening series of lessons, that I am not cut out for institutional preaching. For a long time I had hoped that I would be able to find that one church, wherever they were, that would be just crazy enough to trust that God would actually speak to them through me, but that door has been pretty firmly shut. The youth ministry door - the one I was originally trying to enter - was apparently never even as open as I'd thought! For whatever reason (and it's not like a shortage of options), I just am not what churches are looking for.

BUT!

It's absolutely undeniable that God has equipped me to do something for Him. I don't really care what you think about my blog - I'm mostly writing this for myself - but I definitely care what you think about God. And for whatever reason, people are generally willing to talk with me about God. Sometimes they're even eager. I can't tell you how many people I've met through just the experience of following one particular band who are open to the questions of God - and are actually seeking out someone to help them find their own answers!

I can't tell you how many people have introduced themselves to me through Facebook or the PGroove message board or even in person who have said that they specifically wanted to get to know me because they want to talk to "the preacher." Some of them want to encourage me to keep sharing my faith in an environment that might not always be as accepting of religion as some others. Some of them come to me for encouragement to hold fast to the faith that they're struggling with holding on to. Some of them just have questions.

Do I have to work at a church to share the gospel with those folks?

Back to the Spider-Man 3 metaphor now...

I'm a God nerd, and a lot of churches (not all, but a lot) are really making me mad because they're getting my obsession wrong. I am completely obsessed with God, and other people are messing it up.

And I want to assure you that it doesn't have as much to do with churches not hiring me as it does with my thinking that I've actually got anything to say to churches in the first place. I know I don't look the part of a preacher. Like, at all. I can totally understand a church's hesitancy to take a chance on a guy like me. But what I don't understand is a church's hesitancy to take a chance on God.

I am not the second coming of Jesus, nor do I think myself to have any sort of extra-Biblical revelation to the Will of God. I just think that a lot of people aren't paying attention to what the Bible actually says, and therefore distorting Christianity into a wrecked mockery of itself. Churches have become so caught up in things that shouldn't even be an issue (like what version of the Bible we use, what clothes we wear to church, whether or not a preacher can actually be effective if he's single, etc...) that we've missed the real point.

We've become so caught up in what the world thinks church should be about that we've missed so much of what God said the church should be about.

Love God, Love Others. There you go. That's it.

Musical instruments don't matter. The name on the sign in front of the building doesn't matter. The mistakes of the past don't matter. The only thing - the only thing - that matters at all is Love.

So... I'm moving to Texas.

It's not gonna happen right away, but it is going to happen, hopefully by the summer. Specifically, I'll be moving to Arlington. I've got some people down there who are itching to help me in my efforts to reach out to the people that churches have, at best, not known how to reach or, at worst, completely ignored and maybe even maligned. It's going to be a thing.

The healthy don't need a doctor. I'm going after the sick.

In the process of doing that, I'm probably going to get a little "out there." I'm probably going to be hanging out with some (more) folks that a lot of pew-fillers are pretty uncomfortable with. I'm probably going to look like someone that is rejected by the legalistic standards of people who think that following God is about following rules. I'm probably going to be surrounded by sinners. I'm probably going to drink a lot of beer.

But I think I'm in good company, because I can think of at least one other person who did all of that. Do you know who I'm thinking of?

Let me give you a hint: starts with a "J," ends with "esus Christ of Nazareth, the crucified and resurrected Son of God."

Pray for me. Pray for my efforts to reach the lost. Pray for Christians the world over who need to be reminded that our faith is not about how good we can be for God, but instead about how good God has been to us, and the responsibility we've been given to take that goodness to others.

I love you all.

Do me a favor.

Pray that God's will be done in Madras, Oregon.

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

- James 5:16

Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

- Luke 18:10-14

I don't care if you haven't been to church in years, I don't care if you're on the way out the door to church right now. If you care for me and if you believe even in the slightest that there's a God in Heaven, I want you to pray for me that His will be done in Madras, Oregon.

I love you all and I'll let you know what happens when I know what happens.

A (potential) Leap of Faith

So tomorrow morning I fly out to Oregon to meet the congregation at the Madras church of Christ.

I'm gonna be up there for 12 days - from the 2nd to the 14th - preaching on the two Sundays in between, as well as teaching the Wednesday night Bible class.

It's a small church (for now!), with an average of about 20 people showing up most Sundays from what I understand. That also seems to be a generous estimate. I'm not sure.

There's a lot of complicated history with the church that I'm not entirely sure I can follow just yet, and they haven't had a preacher for about three years, so maybe their standards have fallen low enough by this point that they're willing to give me a shot. That is in fact the entire purpose of this trip, as I'm sure you've guessed - I'm going up to see if I'm a good fit for this congregation and if they're a good fit for me.

I also just got off the phone with Sallie Mae.

I do not like that woman.

My loans are coming down on me in a way that I just can't do anything about. I have been looking - looking hard - for a job, but things just haven't been happening. And I haven't just been looking for church jobs, I've been looking for a regular job-job, too. Dollar General, Lowe's, Wal-Mart, Burger King, seven different gas stations, Harris Teeter, Whole Foods, Costco, Publix, McDonald's, floor refinishing, delivery jobs... no, no, no, no, no... all no. I have no money, I have no job, and I have a whole lot of debt that is very insistent on ignoring the fact that I have no money and have no job.

It's enough to get a guy kinda discouraged.

OK, fine... Really discouraged.

I'm at a crossroads of the principles of my faith and the principles of the world. On the right, I have God telling me that He has a plan for me, and that things will work out, one way or another, sooner or later. God tells me (and, coincidentally, you) over and over that it's not up to me how things work out (James 4:13-14, Jeremiah 29:11-13, Philippians 4:4-7, Proverbs 3:5, I Peter 5:6-7, Psalm 48:14), and beyond that, Jesus tells us in no uncertain terms that we're not supposed to worry about money or stress out about tomorrow, but instead to focus completely on God, trusting that He'll take care of us (Matthew 6:19-34).

And on the other hand there's a few voices in the world telling me to do nothing but completely freak the ever-loving electric cuss-words out about not being able to repay my loans. If I don't pay off my loans, then the rest of my life is completely sunk.

Money, it's a crime

Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie

Money, so they say,

Is the root of all evil today

But if you ask for a raise it's no surprise that they're

giving none away...

- Pink Floyd

A lot of what I'm thinking about right now goes back to what I wrote in "The Safe Bet" a few weeks back. I made the point in that post that if we are going to claim to live as though God is real, then perhaps we ought to live our lives as though we actually believed it. God says He's going to take care of us, He tells us not to worry about money, He tells us to just trust Him, take care of each day as it comes, and live our lives as completely focused on serving Him as we can.

And the thing is... I know all of that...

But man, I don't mind telling you at all that I am still scared senseless.

The pressure from the loans is bad enough, believe me... But it's not like Oregon is just up the street from Tennessee. It's not like I've actually got a lot of experience at being a preacher. It's not like I don't have doubts eating away at me every second of the day, especially as that flight gets closer and closer with every hour.

But you wanna know something really crazy?

I had already made up my mind before we even left for church this past Sunday morning to go forward during the invitation and ask for the congregation's prayers about this whole Oregon trip deal. But when we got to church and the sermon was entirely drawn from Hebrews 11, the "faith chapter" of the Bible... Well... That was kind of exactly what I needed to hear.

Isn't the whole point of faith in the first place that we actually live it out?

Isn't the whole point of faith in Jesus that we face up to the challenges that are going to come our way?

Isn't the whole point of faith in God that we accept that things may not make a lot of sense by the world's standard, but knowing throughout it all God has a plan for us?

I have to admit that I don't know what that plan is. I don't know if it's Oregon. I really don't even know if it's a church job at all, at this point. Like I said - the doubts, they are a-plenty.

But through countless hours of prayer - and not just my own, but also those of the army of people whom God has led into my life who are all supporting me at every turn - and dedicating myself to studying the Bible as best as I know how, this is what I feel like God's asking me to do.

And it's big.

But hey... I serve a Lord who died for me.

I guess the least I can do is fly to Oregon.

I would really appreciate your prayers. Not only for me, but for the Madras church. One way or another, the next 12 days are going to change my life, and hopefully the lives of a few other people. In all things, however, I hope that my words and actions can lead others - and myself - closer and closer to the eternal presence of God.

Just kind of a rant thing...

I don't know if you know this already or not, but I'm looking for a church job of some sort. I don't have a Bible degree, no, but I do have a passion for God's people and an understanding of the Bible that I think can be used to help other people grow closer to Him. I've also got a mountain of student loans ready to come crashing down on my head, so, you know... job. Would be nice.

I've been applying for youth ministry positions as well as the regular pulpit job. I think I'd rather be a youth minister, just because I always get nervous talking to anybody over the age of 30. I still feel like I'm the same dorky kid I was in 9th grade, just obsessed with different comics. Holding respectable conversation with most adults means talking about... you know... stuff.

But as it is, I'm still unemployed, and I'll be honest, it's really starting to discourage me. And I think I'd be able to handle it a little better if the reasons made a bit more sense.

For instance... I know that there have been at least 5 churches I've applied to in the past year and some change that have refused to even look at my résumé just because I'm not married, which I find really interesting, since Paul specifically says in I Corinthians 7:1 that "It is good for a man not to marry."

I don't know why I'm even confused by this in the first place. So many of the churches I've interacted with ignore such huge chunks of scripture in the first place, why would I be surprised that they're ignoring other parts?

"Teacher," said John, "we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us."

"Do not stop him," Jesus said. "No one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us. I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward."

- Mark 9:38-41

I realize I don't have the Bible degree, can't read Greek, and am only 26 years old, so there's no way in the world I could possibly be right about this, but it seems to me - and again, I realize I'm just a young buck idiot here - that this passage is pretty clearly stating that Jesus is pretty cool with His followers being in different groups, so long as they're all focused on following Him. I mean, that's what I get out of it... But hey, what do I know?

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another."

- John 13:34-35

So, wait... Love? Love is supposed to be how people know we're Christians?

So... it's not when we were baptized that identifies us as Christians, but that we love each other? It's not what version of the Bible we read that identifies us as Christians, but that we love each other? It's not how often we take communion, how many services we attend each week, how big our building is, or what it says on the sign out front that identifies us as Christians, but that we just love each other?

Interesting.

I just got turned down for a job that I really wanted because I was too honest with my beliefs. The question of one particular woman's salvation came up after one of the services, and the issue at hand was this: this woman was raised in the Baptist church, and believes that when she repented of her sins and claimed Jesus Christ as her Savior, that's when her sins were forgiven. In due keeping of Christ's commands, she was then baptized in to Him, because hey, that's what Jesus and the apostles teach that we're supposed to do. But the issue was this: the church of Christ belief is that baptism itself is the point at which your sins are forgiven, so there's no way that this woman's baptism was accepted by God because she wasn't baptized for forgiveness of her sins, she was only baptized because that's what she believes God asked her to do.

So... this woman is apparently condemned to hell because she... did what God asked her to do? What?

Look - I believe that baptism is what forgives you of your sins. I'm not saying it isn't.

But since the woman was baptized anyway... WHO CARES? What does it even matter? She's accepted Christ, hasn't she? She knows He's the only way her sins can be forgiven, doesn't she? She went through the process of baptism, didn't she? She's trying her best to follow Him and do what He asks, isn't she?

There are some folks reading this who may be scandalized by this whole thing, but I'm so far beyond the point of caring about it that I can't even pretend I'll be upset about it, so I'll just lay it out. I don't think the "Church of Christ" - as a denomination (and yeah, we're a denomination, don't even try to play like we're not) - is the only way to get to Heaven. I don't think the c-of-C is the only way to be a good Christian.

Let's consider some more Scripture together, shall we?

At Caesarea there was a man named Cornelius, a centurion in what was known as the Italian Regiment. He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly. One day at about three in the afternoon he had a vision. He distinctly saw an angel of God, who came to him and said, "Cornelius!"

Cornelius stared at him in fear. "What is it, Lord?" he asked.

The angel answered, "Your prayers and gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God. Now send men to Joppa to bring back a man named Simon who is called Peter. He is staying with Simon the tanner, whose house is by the sea."

When the angel who spoke to him had gone, Cornelius called two of his servants and a devout soldier who was one of his attendants. He told them everything that had happened and sent them to Joppa.

About noon the following day as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray. He became hungry and wanted something to eat, and while the meal was being prepared, he fell into a trance. He saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles of the earth and birds of the air. Then a voice told him, "Get up, Peter. Kill and eat."

"Surely not, Lord!" Peter replied. "I have never eaten anything impure or unclean."

The voice spoke to him a second time, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean."

This happened three times, and immediately the sheet was taken back to heaven.

While Peter was wondering about the meaning of the vision, the men sent by Cornelius found out where Simon's house was and stopped at the gate. They called out, asking if Simon who was known as Peter was staying there.

While Peter was still thinking about the vision, the Spirit said to him, "Simon, three men are looking for you. So get up and go downstairs. Do not hesitate to go with them, for I have sent them."

Peter went down and said to the men, "I'm the one you're looking for. Why have you come?"

The men replied, "We have come from Cornelius the centurion. He is a righteous and God-fearing man, who is respected by all the Jewish people. A holy angel told him to have you come to his house so that he could hear what you have to say." Then Peter invited the men into the house to be his guests.

The next day Peter started out with them, and some of the brothers from Joppa went along. The following day he arrived in Caesarea. Cornelius was expecting them and had called together his relatives and close friends. As Peter entered the house, Cornelius met him and fell at his feet in reverence. But Peter made him get up. "Stand up," he said, "I am only a man myself."

Talking with him, Peter went inside and found a large gathering of people. He said to them: "You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with a Gentile or visit him. But God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean. So when I was sent for, I came without raising any objection. May I ask why you sent for me?"

Cornelius answered: "Four days ago I was in my house praying at this hour, at three in the afternoon. Suddenly a man in shining clothes stood before me and said, 'Cornelius, God has heard your prayer and remembered your gifts to the poor. Send to Joppa for Simon who is called Peter. He is a guest in the home of Simon the tanner, who lives by the sea.' So I sent for you immediately, and it was good of you to come. Now we are all here in the presence of God to listen to everything the Lord has commanded you to tell us."

Then Peter began to speak: "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear Him and do what is right. You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, telling the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all. You know what has happened throughout Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John preached— how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how He went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with Him.

"We are witnesses of everything He did in the country of the Jews and in Jerusalem. They killed Him by hanging him on a tree, but God raised Him from the dead on the third day and caused Him to be seen. He was not seen by all the people, but by witnesses whom God had already chosen—by us who ate and drank with Him after He rose from the dead. He commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that He is the one whom God appointed as judge of the living and the dead. All the prophets testify about Him that everyone who believes in Him receives forgiveness of sins through his name."

While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message. The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astonished that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on the Gentiles. For they heard them speaking in tongues and praising God.

Then Peter said, "Can anyone keep these people from being baptized with water? They have received the Holy Spirit just as we have." So he ordered that they be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they asked Peter to stay with them for a few days.

The apostles and the brothers throughout Judea heard that the Gentiles also had received the word of God. So when Peter went up to Jerusalem, the circumcised believers criticized him and said, "You went into the house of uncircumcised men and ate with them."

Peter began and explained everything to them precisely as it had happened: "I was in the city of Joppa praying, and in a trance I saw a vision. I saw something like a large sheet being let down from heaven by its four corners, and it came down to where I was. I looked into it and saw four-footed animals of the earth, wild beasts, reptiles, and birds of the air. Then I heard a voice telling me, 'Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.'

"I replied, 'Surely not, Lord! Nothing impure or unclean has ever entered my mouth.'

"The voice spoke from heaven a second time, 'Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.' This happened three times, and then it was all pulled up to heaven again.

"Right then three men who had been sent to me from Caesarea stopped at the house where I was staying. The Spirit told me to have no hesitation about going with them. These six brothers also went with me, and we entered the man's house. He told us how he had seen an angel appear in his house and say, 'Send to Joppa for Simon who is called Peter. He will bring you a message through which you and all your household will be saved.'

"As I began to speak, the Holy Spirit came on them as He had come on us at the beginning. Then I remembered what the Lord had said: 'John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.' So if God gave them the same gift as He gave us, who believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I to think that I could oppose God?"

When they heard this, they had no further objections and praised God, saying, "So then, God has granted even the Gentiles repentance unto life."

- Acts 10:1-11:18

Wait, did I just read that right? God accepted Cornelius and his household before they were even baptized?

Interesting.

And then the rest of the Christians back in Jerusalem gave Peter a hard time about associating with and accepting people who were different from them?

Interesting.

Or what about this?

When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God, they sent Peter and John to them. When they arrived, they prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit, because the Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them; they had simply been baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. Then Peter and John placed their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.

- Acts 8:14-17

So the folks in Samaria had been baptized, but hadn't yet been given the Holy Spirit? So baptism wasn't the only thing they needed?

Interesting.

I am a member of the Church of Christ because I believe it's the closest I've found to what God is asking us to do, but I don't for a second believe that we're so close that we've got an exclusive monopoly on the Truth.

Here's what I believe: Jesus Christ is the only way to get to God, and it is only through Christ that your sins can be forgiven. An important step in following Christ is baptism. Jesus Himself was baptized, so why on earth wouldn't we be?

But after that, it's living a life dedicated to truth, love, compassion, mercy, justice, fairness, patience, kindness, humility, evangelism, and so many other things that are so much bigger than baptism.

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel."

- Matthew 23:23-24

Yeah, baptism matters, don't get me wrong. But it's not about the baptism of the body, it's about the baptism of the heart.

When will people get that? When, Lord, when?

There are folks out there who just can't get past the differences between names on our churches, and I pity those people. I'm not even mad anymore. I can't be. It's too sad.

I fully realize that there may be prospective employers reading this post, and I fully realize that this post may endanger whatever career future I could have had within the churches of Christ, but I can hold my head up and say that I really just don't care.

I'd rather die broke and homeless because I held onto my convictions that Christianity is maybe - just maybe - a bit bigger than one specific group of people than to be wealthy (or at least debt-free) and know that the only reason I ever got one cent was because I sold out my faith.

It's not up to me, it's not up to you, and it's not up to anybody else down here who makes it up there. It's up to God, and God alone. So let's all stop trying to do His job.