Some things I wish I wasn't thinking

One of the greatest tragedies of having survived a life of sin (whatever the circumstances of that sin might have been) is that it seems like nobody listens.

And I know - thick as I am - that just because I've got some skeletons in my closet, that doesn't mean that I've got anybody else's struggles figured out.

But it does not take a man of great years or frightful experience to figure out that some things are just plain bad news.

You know who Bob Ross was, right? The painter? Used to have a show, The Joy of Painting, on PBS for a long time. Had the fro thing going.

Bob had a saying in his show... "There are no mistakes, only happy accidents." Lots of those happy accidents would turn into happy little trees or a happy little stream running down the side of the happy little mountain.

I wish Bob's philosophy applied to actual life.

I wish I could look back on all the things that I have majorly screwed up in my life and - through the consequences of some of those actions - in the lives of others and say they were just happy accidents.

But I'm not awake at 3:40 AM thinking about all the times I screwed up that turned out happy in the end.

There are some mistakes that I have made that have definitely impacted the man I am today, and in a way that I can only attribute to the grace of God, I can see where some good has come from those mistakes, because I've learned lessons along the way that have helped me avoid such mistakes again.

All the same, really wish I hadn't ever made those mistakes in the first place.

More than that, I wish I could tell some people some things. More accurately, I wish I could get them to listen.

I don't have it all figured out. I know that. Doesn't take divine inspiration to get that much nailed down.

But Lord God in Heaven do I pray that there was some way to show people the fire they are playing with.

So many people are convinced, beyond any shadow of doubt or any room for discussion, that they will be the ones to carry the rattlesnake down the mountain and not get bit.

The rattlesnake is no respecter of persons, my beloved.

I have scars that are opened up fresh every time I see my sins reflected in the lives of others. There are things that I wish I could take back, but even more than ever undoing them myself, I want to avoid seeing those mistakes made again by those I care about.

This is emotion, pure and unfiltered. I don't even know if I'm making sense, I just have to get it out.

I love you, no matter who you are or what you're doing. But if you're doing something stupid - and I really think that in the back of your head, way down in the guts and gizzards of who we all are, we know if we're doing something stupid - just know that I would love to see you not do that anymore. I ain't gonna love you any less if you don't.

It's just gonna hurt.

(Also, because I can't resist an even mildly appropriate song drop... The Faces - Ooh La La)

An open letter to my GLBTQ friends

Hey.

Umm... I'm sorry.

I think that's probably the best place to start.

I'm not trying to apologize on behalf of all Christians ever or anything like that, I'm just saying sorry from me.

I haven't always been the not-that-bad guy that I am, and in my younger, dumber days, I said some things that were probably very hurtful. And I kinda said those things a lot. Loudly. (That's really the only way I know how to say anything, sorry.)

Some of you reading this might not have heard me say anything hurtful, and that's awesome. Thank God. Hope I can keep it that way.

But as the years go by and Facebook continues to update me on the lives of people I haven't seen in at least a decade, I have found out that I have way more GLBTQ friends from way, way, way back in the day than I thought I did... and man, I was a dumb kid.

Also young adult. I was a dumb one of those as well.

I think it's a good thing that there wasn't ever any kind tie to my faith with whatever hurtful things I was saying... I was just a dumb jerk. I didn't tell gay jokes because I thought gay people were going to hell, I told gay jokes because I also still told jokes about midgets in Las Vegas brothels.

Dirty jokes were still funny. Gay jokes counted.

So I grew out of that. Thank God.

I do want to let you know that not all Christians are Westboro Baptist members. Some of us are trying to take Jesus very seriously on that whole "Love others" stuff He was always going on about.

Also, to any of my GLBTQ friends who are following after Christ with me... Hang in there. I love you. I feel a little weird around some groups of Christians because our interpretations of Genesis 1-11 differ. I cannot even begin to imagine what your experience must be. I hope we can one day share a communion of Love and Truth and rejoice in each other's company as children of God. I hope that in the meantime you're in a place where God's showing you things and surrounding you with His people.

There are other things that I want to say, but it really feels like I'm being told to shut up, so... I will.

Words

I don't know what to say anymore.

I feel like writing is the only thing* I'm very good at, and I also feel like I've completely forgotten how to do it.

I used to update this once a week, never missed a beat.

I used to write a humor column at least once every two weeks for my college newspaper.

I also used to pray daily.

I don't really do any of these things anymore.

It's so... humbling to remember that God isn't the one who left.

I'm facing some crossroads in my life, trying to find a new direction for Annie and I to go in. (This new direction will hopefully include gainful employment for me. Also, I got fired back in October.)

But the biggest thing I've got to do, no doubt, is regain my focus.

I have allowed the detritus of the world to distract me from the Glory.

Sooooooooooooooooo...  Gotta stop doin' that, I guess...

Pray for me.

* - Well, OK, the only thing that isn't, you know, totally useless. Somebody find me a job as a never-ending source for entirely useless trivia, and I'll be set for life.

On the Theological Import of Cheese

My wife and I were in Whole Foods not too long ago. As we wandered through the store, Annie went looking for some olive juice shampoo and pine sap conditioner, but I wound up lingering by the cheese.

I didn't mean to lose her. It just happened. The cheese guy was behind the counter, and I wanted to sample... everything. The smoked chipotle Gruyere looked amazing, and then there was the honey-infused farmer's cheese, and then the cranberry Wensleydale, and the horseradish cheddar, and the double Gloucester, and goodness... the cheese.

I turned to offer Annie a sample of whatever glorious fromage had just graced my mouth and was surprised to find that she was not there.

So did she leave me? Or did I just get left behind because I was distracted?

How often do I get distracted from God by cheese? (Very.)

As you might have deduced by the state of this blog, my spiritual life has been somehwat dry as of late. Is that God's fault? Did He stop loving me? Did He stop blessing me with each and every step I take? Did He decide He no longer has a direct interest in my life?

Or did I just get distracted by the cheese?

Things get hard in life sometimes. Annie and I don't know where we're going to be living come next month. Shouldn't I still be focused on God?

I have fallen farther behind in my spiritual walk than I am really comfortable admitting to myself. But it's entirely because I got distracted by the cheese.

I got (get) so worked up about the things in the world that I can't even do anything about and it distracts me. I lose my focus on God and put it on frivolities.

I don't want to do that anymore. I had a thriving, brilliant relationship with God not so very long ago... and I've let the mundane fluff of the world pull me away from that. And my goodness, there's just so much of it.

Annie and I could use some prayers. This coming month will be hard for us. But the biggest thing I'd like to ask you to pray for is that I find my focus again. That I can remember where God is and stop being distracted. I've forgotten so many things that I held close and fast in my mind and heart. I just am not where I used to be, and it's because I got distracted.

So... there's that.

A short letter to some folks who ought to know better

Dear every Christian in every pointless argument with any other Christian about Christianity ever:

John 5:39-40.

Look it up.

Yeah. Lookin' at you there, chief.

While we're at it, Titus 3:9.

So knock it off, OK?

You're a Christian, that other person is a Christian, I'm a Christian, we're all Christians...

...so maybe we don't have to fight tooth and nail over translations of the Bible.

Or instruments.

Or the exact point in your acceptance of Jesus Christ at which you will be allowed into heaven if you die before (finishing the prayer/baptism/first communion/first time you mess up passing out communion).

I'm not saying that there aren't issues of doctrine that are worth correcting, because there are. You can't, for instance, sacrifice your children to Molech as a Christian. Yes, I know, it's an OT law, but still, it's not a good thing to do once you're trying to follow Jesus.

You know what is a good Jesus-following thing to do? Not being a nitpicky twerp. That is a very Jesus-like characteristic that it would really behoove a lot of us to develop.

Let's try to maybe focus on the big picture for a minute, OK?

Despite whatever differences of belief may exist between you and your brother from the congregation across the street, they're minute. I promise you, they are teeny tiny. Especially when compared with the differences  between your beliefs and the beliefs of everyone else in the overwhelmingly vast majority of the world who isn't a Christian at all.

If we can't even talk amongst ourselves civilly, how are we ever going to bring those lost in the world in to the Kingdom?

I have never understood how people can argue so much about what the Bible says while completely ignoring what the Bible means.

Forest for the trees, man.  Forest for the ding-danged ol' TREES.

Look, I just... I saw some things, I had concerns... I promise, I still Matthew 22:34-40 you, but you just gotta stop being such a Numbers 22:21-41.

Some things I'd like to see.

More of this:

Christians Protect Protesting Muslims from Pro-Mubarak Thugs

Less of this:

ABC News segment about the Christians protesting the new mosque in Murfreesboro.  Way to represent the home state faith in front of the national media, y'all.  Keep makin' us look terrible.

Also...

More of this:

Christian group says "I'm Sorry" at Gay Pride parade in Chicago

Less of this:

You know these people. I don't need to tell you any more.  If that picture doesn't make you mad, you're not paying attention.

I cannot help but think that our evangelistic efforts would be vastly served if Christians at large actually began to live anything like Jesus, the Christ of whom we are -ians, suggested.

Notice that tag at the bottom of that.  This is from an atheist site.

Gang, I've got some pretty bad news - THE ATHEISTS UNDERSTAND JESUS BETTER THAN OUR TEAM DOES, AND WE'RE THE ONES WHO THINK HE WAS ACTUALLY REAL.

Don't ever, ever, ever forget that the single reason people aren't in church is people who are in church.

Don't be the reason people avoid church. Don't be the reason people don't understand Jesus. Show Love. Show the Love that means that you'll willingly die for someone you will never know in this present reality.

Let's all try to Love other people despite their beliefs that we don't share, especially since we're accepted members of communities of people who care for us and love us because we only believe the same things they do.

Let's all try to Love other people despite their lifestyles of sin, especially since we've all managed to completely eliminate all sins of omission, sins of commission, ignorant sins, known sins, habitual sins, and I-swear-it-was-just-this-one-time-please-don't-arrest-me sins.

I have kinda forgotten how to do this writing thing.

Just a quick update, prayer requests, and food for thought...

Hi!  Been a while.  Sorry.

I have a journal (still blank) that I got for Christmas a few years back.  The cover of it reads something like, "Don't write because you want to say something; write because you have something to say."

I haven't really had anything to say since January.

I've got a lot of things to say now, but it's taking me a while to get it out.  Rest assured, it's coming.  (Like there are ANY of you left reading this!)

The last time I posted, things were rough.

Things are now WAY better.  Thank you for your prayers, love, and goodness.

Big big big big big big thing in my life right now: Annie and I are applying for a CARES Team Apartment Life ministry.  The way we see it, this would be the perfect launching pad for everything we already want to do in our marriage, and a natural extension of everything I have been doing since I moved to Texas.  I have made my life here about reaching out to those who have not been reached.  Some have not even been reached out to in the first place.  I wanna go get 'em.  And with God's help, I have and will continue to do so.

So pray for that, if you would please!

I do have a job now.  It is very boring.  If I were to write about it, it would bore you.  So just know that I have a job, and that it is good enough for now, because it is better than nothing at all.  It could be better.  But it isn't worse.  So that's great.

Amberland is coming up in a hair over a month.  That's kind of a big deal.  Wedding is also coming up.  Kind of a bigger deal.

I asked for help with this back before the New Year because I needed help, and I got help, so I'm asking again because I could use some help.  Amberland is all the way in Georgia, which is quite a stretch from Texas, and gasoline is hovering just under $4.00.  We could use some gas money.

Last year, Corwin and my sister came with me (along with a whole other mess of people) for their first time.  They'll be back with me this year, along with Annie for her first year.  This is my third.  I've served communion two years in a row now, and I plan to keep it going.  Last year, Corwin and Lyn helped me reach out to more people than I could on my own by speaking to them in Truth and showering them in Love.  Annie's along to help us do more.  She already met a chunk of people at the New Year's Eve run, and planted seeds along the way.

I performed a wedding last year.  I can't even begin to tell you the number of people who wanted to talk to "the preacher" after that.  And not just for the rest of that weekend, but even months afterward.  In October, I met a guy at a show in Austin who wasn't even at Amberland last year but had heard about the wedding and wanted to talk to "the preacher."  At the New Year's shows, there were dozens of people who remembered "the preacher."

The groundwork is done.  The foundation is laid.  The seeds are planted.  Things are starting to grow.

I want to be able to keep working.  If you can help me out with gas, please, hit up the PayPal donation thing.  To your right.  Yellow button.  Says "HELP A BROKE DUDE" right above it.

Corwin, Annie and I are all volunteering this year, so we get into the festival for free.  We can eat cheap.  All we need is the gas to get there.  If you can help, please, please, please do.  This is my field.  These are my people.  God has called me to go to them, and go to them I must.  I trust Him to provide.  I just want to make sure I offer you an opportunity to help Him out.

So also pray for Amberland, if you would!

And now I just want to ask a few questions, and I really hope you'll bless me with a response.

When has there been a time in your life that God drastically changed you for the better?  What happened?  Did it hurt?

Just so you know...

Things are hard right now.

I'm in bad need of a job.  I have been in need of a job since moving to Texas in April, and so far, every application's response has been a deafening roar of silence.

I did have a job, briefly, in August.  Over the course of 3 days, I made $52.00...

Problem is I had to spend $60 to make it.  So with 3 days worth of work, I made -$8.

Awesome.

God is good... but it kinda feels like not much else is right now.

I'm incredibly thankful for the blessings I have in my life, chief among them being my wonderful fiancee.  I'm so grateful to have found a woman who is willing to put up with me for the rest of my life.

I'm tired of being a burden.  I'd really like to be able to actually support myself... and, you know...  my future wife.

Things are hard.  I could really use some prayers.  And, if you got it, a hook up on a job that will actually hire me in the mid-cities D/FW area.

I really just don't have a lot to say right now.  I'm sure I'll be back writing soon.  Winter is always hard on me.  This one has proven to be no exception.

Something's gotta give, right?

Just hope it ain't me.

A Genuine Plea for Some Help

Hi.  I don't know if you've ever been here before, so allow me to make some preliminary introductions.

I'm Aaron Rushton, and I am a voice crying out in the wilderness, declaring the way of the Lord.

The particular wilderness I find myself in is the jam-band crowd.  If you don't know what a jam-band crowd is like, imagine everything you've ever heard about Woodstock distilled into one place.  It's kinda like that.

As you might have imagined, this isn't exactly the most church-going group of folks out there.

But they are still people, and they do still need Jesus, and they do definitely still need someone to talk to them about Him.

Over the past three years, God has made it plainly evident to me that I am called to be at least one person sharing the goodness of Christ with the people around me in the jam-band crowd, and specifically, in the Perpetual Groove crowd.

I've mentioned my work in the PGroove circles before.  I am already accepted as "the preacher" in that crowd.  I've served communion at Amberland, the band's three-day camping & music festival, for two years running.  I've seen a lot of love among these people.  They are definitely searching for the Truth.  I've been in hard spots before in trying to reach out to this crowd.  God delivered my help then, and I'm confident He'll do the same thing again now.

I'm specifically asking for help in regards to one thing: getting there.

This year, the Perpetual Groove New Year's Eve run is in Atlanta, Georgia, and I'm going with my fiancée and sister in tow.  We could use a little help in the way of gas money and other expenses for the two days we'll be down there.  It's not a lot, but it is more than I have.  I know Christmas is a hard time of year, financially, but I'm just asking for a little bit of help - little bits add up to a big lot.

You can go to my PayPal donation page and make your donation there, any amount helps.

I realize this may sound like I'm trying to solicit donations in the name of the Lord just so I can take my girlfriend and little sister to a couple of concerts, but I assure you, this is work.  This is my mission field.  This is where God has asked me to make His voice heard.  I can't go to concerts anymore without somebody asking me, "Hey, you're that preacher guy, right?"  And that's when my night always gets interesting.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I know Mark and Lisa, who have been incredibly supportive to me as fellow lights in the darkness.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I talked to Brad until 6:00 AM last year.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I helped Jill redefine her understanding of what God has asked His church to be.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I was asked by complete strangers to perform their wedding which gave me an opportunity to present the power of God's Love to a group of people who might not have ever heard it otherwise.

There is work to be done, and I am trying my best to do it.  I'd appreciate some help to get a little further down the road.  God bless you.

Jesus Is Lord. RON PAUL 2012! WOO!

A little under 4 years ago now, I wrote a thing (on Facebook) about what I saw at the time as a dangerous devotion to then-candidate Barack Obama in his bid for the presidency for the United States.  And then, once he won that bid, I had some other thoughts (also on Facebook) about what that meant for the future of America.

The biggest thing that worried me when Obama was running for president was the rabid support he was getting, the almost cultic devotion, the pervasive attitude that when Obama became president, everything would just be better.

So when he won (which, yeah, was kinda inevitable, especially up against John McCain), I was not surprised to see the massive celebrations, the incredible overreactions (nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize after two weeks in office, won the award after eight and a half months), or the continuation of the "Obama can do no wrong" train of thought...

And then reality set in.

People thought they weren't going to have to pay taxes anymore, or deal with the financial mess our nation has been in for the past decade, or grapple with the questions of morality in a time of war.

The man is only a president, not Almighty God, reshaping reality at the merest whim.

He's only a man.

No more, no less.

So...  where do I stand on all that stuff when it comes to the guy I actually want to see as the next president?

I cannot possibly overstate how much I want to see Ron Paul win the 2012 presidential election.  I spend more time on his official campaign website than I do on my email.  I'm constantly looking for new videos to share the message, like this hour-long documentary on the grassroots movement behind Dr. Paul, or this 13-minute discussion about US troops and their support for his foreign policy.

I hate talking about politics...  unless I'm talking about Ron Paul.

But the thing that I'm worried about is falling into the same trap that I warned against in 2007 when Obama was running.  Have I become a cultist?  Am I just chanting the name because I'm hypnotized by the charisma?

Well...  I sure don't think so...  I mean, really...  Watch ANY video of Ron Paul.  Charisma isn't his defining trait.  He's not polished, he's not rehearsed, he's not dropping sound bites...  He's genuine.  He's sincere.  He's passionate.  I just happen to think he's right.

I don't think I'd care if it was Ron Paul as president or not so long as whoever does become president will do the things he's talking about, like ending all the wars we're in, bringing all of the troops home, eliminating the IRS, ending the Federal Reserve, cutting one trillion dollars (that's $1,000,000,000,000) out of the budget in the first year, returning the powers of government to the states, strictly following the Constitution... Yeah, I'd vote for Obama if he was actually going to do that.  I'd vote for Chuck E. Cheese if he was actually going to do that.

But Obama ran on closing down Guantanamo, which hasn't happened.  He ran on withdrawing from Iraq and Afghanistan, which has kinda happened - we've ended official combat operations in Iraq, but we're still leaving thousands of military contractors (nice word for mercenary) over there and building the world's largest embassy to house our fake troops.  He also ran on repealing the Patriot Act, which he actually extended.

I think I'll vote for the guy who has been saying the exact same thing for 30 years, because I really, really, really like what he's got to say.

So what's all this got to do with Jesus?

Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?”

But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?” 

“Caesar’s,” they replied. 

Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”
When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.

Matthew 22:15-22

Is my vote Caesar's?  Or is my vote God's?  If I am to "eat or drink or whatever" to the glory of the Lord, does voting fall into the "whatever"?

I went to Harding University, a small-ish private Church of Christ affiliated school in Searcy, Arkansas.  My first semester was the fall of 2001.  I hadn't been in school for a full month when the 9/11 attacks hit.  I can't exactly say I'm proud of the way I thought about politics back then - but I'm not proud of the way I thought about love, God, or a great deal many other things, either.  I've grown up a lot in the past decade, and I find myself more willing to espouse views of international diplomacy that don't involve carpet bombing.

As I'm sure you can reasonably infer, the political climate at Harding is overwhelmingly Republican, or at least right-wing.  Democrats/left-wingers were not given the fairest of shakes, largely due to a perceived approval by Democrats at Harding of such un-Christian things as abortion, gay marriage, and giving money to poor people.

Whenever discussions of politics came up (which was far more often than I'd like to admit), the inevitable question came up of how these Christian people, dear friends of mine, could vote for politicians who supported such un-Christian things.  The answer I heard over and over again (although not exclusively) was that they did not vote their Christianity.  I heard one professor (who I thought was a total jerk) state that he is not a Christian in the voting booth.

And that, dear reader, is MESSED. UP.

I cannot personally envision a worldview in which one can separate his or her faith from any aspect of his or her life in good conscience.  If you're not a Christian in the voting booth, why would you still be a Christian at work?  Or on the highway?  Or in a bar?

Christianity isn't a thing you do, it's an attempt to change who you are.  In following Christ, we are making strides towards being Him, allowing the Holy Spirit to change us more and more as we continue to focus on the Love of the Father for all mankind.

So am I saying that all good Christians have to vote Republican?

Holy crap, no.  Not at all.  Goodness.  That's a horrid idea.

What I am saying, however, is that if you have to turn off the Jesus part of you to justify voting the way you want to, maybe you just shouldn't vote that way.

I'm voting for Ron Paul because he's crazy libertarian, especially compared to the rest of the GOP candidates.  I like libertarianism.  I believe God created us with free will, and I can't see why we'd let the government take that away.

Now...  that's me.  That's my view on politics through the lens of faith.  I personally believe that the world (or at the very least, the United States) would be a whole lot better off if we could just get the government to leave things alone, here and abroad.

I don't know who you're planning on voting for in the 2012 election.  I hope it's Ron Paul, because I genuinely believe he's the best man for the job, especially with the condition the nation is in.  I also hope that I can do some small part in making you aware of who this man is and encouraging you to check out his website, watch the interviews, read up on his stance on the issues, know what he's saying and decide how you feel about it, because the mainstream media certainly isn't going out if its way to tell you anything about him - and if they do, it's only because they're telling you (or even Ron Paul himself) he has no chance of winning.

But no matter who you're voting for, if you can't reconcile your beliefs with your ballot, please, just don't vote.  It's OK.  If your vote is not to the glory of God at the very least in your own conscience, why on earth are you even voting?  What can possibly be more important?  Does it matter - in the slightest - what other people do in relation to your walk with God?

And if you already do vote your faith, I'd like to encourage you to do something I had to do in the last election.  Sit down and look at everything you believe about politics.  Look at what the guys you support believe.  Now look at what Jesus believes.

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:34-40

Love and Love.

Bombing Pakistan (or any other country) is not Loving, in my view of Love.  Locking people up for decades because of non-violent victimless crimes is not Loving.  Restricting the God-given ability to make our own mistakes and learn from them is not Loving.  But hey... that's just me.

I'm not questioning anything about where my priorities lie.  Jesus is still Hombre numero uno in mi corazon.  But hot skippity dang if Ron Paul ain't just a fascinating man.  I want him to be the next President of the United States.  I want that to be a thing that is.

But should I really even care?  After all...  "This world is not my home, I'm just a-passing through..."

Talk to me, people.