A letter to all of my atheist, non-theist, antitheist, irreligious, or otherwise generally-not-a-fan-of-Christianity friends

Hey.

I hope that - whatever the nature of our relationship is or has been, however we met, how long we've known each other, whatever - I really hope that I have stored up enough cred with you that I can be frank about a couple things that have been eating away at my brain for the past few months. I want to just lay out a few points all in one go, because I've found - over and over and over again - that a lot of things get in the way of conversations I think we'd all rather have.

First off... The rumors are true, I am actually a Christian, I believe in God, I believe Jesus was God in the flesh, I believe He died and was resurrected, and I firmly, completely, sincerely believe that He knew what He was talking about.

And I know you're not there. That's cool, I promise I completely love you anyway.

I just feel like there's quite often a wall of communication barriers in our conversation because there are some ideas floating around out there that have distorted what this whole Christ-following thing is really supposed to be about. And goodness knows I can't speak for every Christian on the planet. (They certainly don't like me speaking TO them! BUH-DUM-PSSH) But I know that there are things that I believe that have routinely seemed to surprise you guys, so... let me just get it all out in the open, OK? Then let's see where we can go.

First off... And man, this is a big one... You can't judge a system by its abuses. Or by its abusers, for that matter.

I realize - more than you might think - that there are some really awful people in the world who have done some really awful things to other people in the world and have waved a cross around while doing it.

Those things were still awful.

The Crusades were bad. Protestant vs. Catholic violence is bad. The Spanish Inquisition was bad. Abortion clinic bombings are bad. Clerical child abuse and church cover-ups are bad. Pick a thing that anybody has ever done in the name of Christianity that trampled all over the rights of others, forced people to submit to someone else's idea of morality or propriety, or ever said that someone else wasn't good enough... That was bad.

And that's not even sorta kinda a little bit maybe close to anything like what Christianity is supposed to be.

Let's consider communism for a minute.

On a global scale, we can see pretty quickly and easily that communism comes with its fair share of problems. Corruption is inextricably linked to state communism. People are miserable. The Berlin Wall wasn't put up as scenery. People don't try to ride an inner tube from Cuba to Florida just to get to EPCOT. China doesn't censor the internet because it's worried about the citizenry looking at porn. IT AIN'T GOOD.

But on a smaller, voluntary, personally connected scale? Communism is AMAZING. Voluntary communism is a goal of mine. Straight up. I want to get a bunch of people together who have alike minds in their desire to live sustainably and reasonably, sharing food and homes and lives in an enriching environment of love and peace. But everybody else has to be on board with that idea for it to work, right? Everybody has to understand what the common goal is and how to reach it.

If I intentionally try to base my future hippie utopia on Stalin's USSR, I'm obviously gonna miss it. And similarly, if I only thought of communism as people carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, and couldn't see past the abuses to see the actual functionality of the true system, then I'd never have realized that goal that I want to work toward.

So is communism bad? Or is it just the abuse of communism that's bad? Can you accurately judge communism only by looking at the terrible things that people who happened to be communist were doing? Or do you look at the idea itself and see the good it strives to be?

Jesus is pretty open and plain about what He's trying to teach people, and Love is really the whole kit and caboodle. The rest of the New Testament dudes who weren't Jesus back that up. Love is what matters. I realize that there are gray areas and questions about exactly what Love IS, but I think we should all be able to see without any trouble what Love ISN'T.

Beating people up - verbally or physically - for being different isn't Love. So whenever somebody doing that claims to be doing it in the name of God, just remember they're full of crap. If they were paying attention to what God has actually made it really obvious He wants us to do, they wouldn't be out picketing funerals.

Which brings me to those guys.

We're not all those guys. Far more of us aren't those guys than are. Please stop associating us with those guys, because we aren't them, don't want to be them, and sure don't want to be mistaken for them.

Some systems - like, say, Nazism - are corrupt all the way through, and when you look at the ideas that the system presents as truth, you can see that they're probably things you don't want to be involved in, like your various supremacy and hate groups, or Beliebers.

But other systems - like, say, enjoying ice cream - have some pretty good things going for them. It's just that, yes, unfortunately, there are complete jerkwhistles out there who also enjoy ice cream and might do things that ruin it for the rest of us. Like Dippin' Dots. But the existence of Dippin' Dots doesn't mean that all ice cream is bad! It just means that even good ideas can be corrupted into horrible, soulless, foul little frozen balls of Styrofoam and artificial flavoring.

What I'm saying here is that Christianity is one of those ice cream systems. How can you really hate on a philosophy that is COMPLETELY tied into, based on, and practiced through unconditional, self-sacrificing, genuine LOVE for everyone?

Bad Christians don't make Christianity bad.

And you know what else? We're not all "young earth" people. Some of us can actually accept God and scientific evidence at the same time. I know there are yahoos all around fighting to make sure science textbooks talk about Creationism, and believe it or not, I don't think that's necessary, or helpful, or intelligent. I think it's a sign of some really dangerous - and even worse lazy - theology.

(I'd like to take a moment to get meta with you for a sec and talk about this blog post that you, my atheist/nontheist/antitheist/whatever friend, are reading, because I promise you, plenty of my Christian friends are reading this one too, and I'm about to say some stuff that a lot of them do not like to hear. But hey, there's plenty of folk out there who already think I'm going to hell just for liking the Indigo Girls, so it's not like I'm gonna make things any worse.)

We can talk about where the idea of the "young earth" comes from, but I assure you, it doesn't matter. Like, man, not at all. Not a bit. Not for a second. It's pointless. I personally believe that there is no decent scriptural defense for insisting that Creationism be taught in schools, or even that Christian kids shouldn't know that the earth sure looks like it's about 4.5 billion years old.

So dudes, please hear me out when I say that my belief in God does not prevent me from believing in dinosaurs or the Big Bang or the awesome of Carl Sagan.

But it really doesn't matter... either way.

You know why?

Because science does not - can not - answer the questions that faith asks.

They're not the same thing. They're not even close.

Science observes what can be observed.

Faith is concerned with things that cannot be observed.

God can't be scienced away. There's no good reason for anyone to try to use God to get rid of science. The two don't cancel each other out any more than drinking eggnog prevents you from being named Jeff.

Look, even Richard Dawkins admits that he can't be SURE God doesn't exist. It's not a provable or disprovable thing. Science can uncover the mysteries of every subatomic particle of matter, and it can translate the base code of the pulsars and quasars at the farthest distances of the universe. Science can, does, and should tell us everything we could possibly ever dream of knowing about the depth and beauty and power of the natural world.

But science can't say a thing about the supernatural.

That's not its job. That's not what it does. That's not how it works.

Whether or not the supernatural exists, that's an entirely different conversation that I'm totally willing to have. But the next one of you guys that tries to tell me you don't believe in God because of the Large Hadron Collider, I'm throwing a beer at your face, as well as whatever bottle, glass, or can it is in. So knock it off.

So now that we've cleared away some of what seem to be very pervasive obstacles I'd like to throw out just one little confession to go with it.

Yeah, I totally am trying to get you in on this thing. Call it trying to convert you, call it proselytizing, call it whatever you feel like calling it, I'm at least owning up to definitely wanting you to see the same things I see and experience them for yourself and then make a decision about what you believe. I want that to happen. I genuinely believe that earnestly trying to follow the teachings of Jesus is inevitably rewarded (in this life, by the way) with inexpressibly, incalculably positive benefits. I think it is good, and I want to share. Same thing I do with my movies and my music and my comics and my beer.

But if I start shoving it down your throat, I give you full permission to set me right by whatever means you feel necessary, because yeah, that ain't cool. Jesus didn't think too highly of it. Kinda ticked Him off right royal. So whenever I do screw it up... Don't blame Jesus, 'cause that's all me.

Some things I wish I wasn't thinking

One of the greatest tragedies of having survived a life of sin (whatever the circumstances of that sin might have been) is that it seems like nobody listens.

And I know - thick as I am - that just because I've got some skeletons in my closet, that doesn't mean that I've got anybody else's struggles figured out.

But it does not take a man of great years or frightful experience to figure out that some things are just plain bad news.

You know who Bob Ross was, right? The painter? Used to have a show, The Joy of Painting, on PBS for a long time. Had the fro thing going.

Bob had a saying in his show... "There are no mistakes, only happy accidents." Lots of those happy accidents would turn into happy little trees or a happy little stream running down the side of the happy little mountain.

I wish Bob's philosophy applied to actual life.

I wish I could look back on all the things that I have majorly screwed up in my life and - through the consequences of some of those actions - in the lives of others and say they were just happy accidents.

But I'm not awake at 3:40 AM thinking about all the times I screwed up that turned out happy in the end.

There are some mistakes that I have made that have definitely impacted the man I am today, and in a way that I can only attribute to the grace of God, I can see where some good has come from those mistakes, because I've learned lessons along the way that have helped me avoid such mistakes again.

All the same, really wish I hadn't ever made those mistakes in the first place.

More than that, I wish I could tell some people some things. More accurately, I wish I could get them to listen.

I don't have it all figured out. I know that. Doesn't take divine inspiration to get that much nailed down.

But Lord God in Heaven do I pray that there was some way to show people the fire they are playing with.

So many people are convinced, beyond any shadow of doubt or any room for discussion, that they will be the ones to carry the rattlesnake down the mountain and not get bit.

The rattlesnake is no respecter of persons, my beloved.

I have scars that are opened up fresh every time I see my sins reflected in the lives of others. There are things that I wish I could take back, but even more than ever undoing them myself, I want to avoid seeing those mistakes made again by those I care about.

This is emotion, pure and unfiltered. I don't even know if I'm making sense, I just have to get it out.

I love you, no matter who you are or what you're doing. But if you're doing something stupid - and I really think that in the back of your head, way down in the guts and gizzards of who we all are, we know if we're doing something stupid - just know that I would love to see you not do that anymore. I ain't gonna love you any less if you don't.

It's just gonna hurt.

(Also, because I can't resist an even mildly appropriate song drop... The Faces - Ooh La La)

An open letter to my GLBTQ friends

Hey.

Umm... I'm sorry.

I think that's probably the best place to start.

I'm not trying to apologize on behalf of all Christians ever or anything like that, I'm just saying sorry from me.

I haven't always been the not-that-bad guy that I am, and in my younger, dumber days, I said some things that were probably very hurtful. And I kinda said those things a lot. Loudly. (That's really the only way I know how to say anything, sorry.)

Some of you reading this might not have heard me say anything hurtful, and that's awesome. Thank God. Hope I can keep it that way.

But as the years go by and Facebook continues to update me on the lives of people I haven't seen in at least a decade, I have found out that I have way more GLBTQ friends from way, way, way back in the day than I thought I did... and man, I was a dumb kid.

Also young adult. I was a dumb one of those as well.

I think it's a good thing that there wasn't ever any kind tie to my faith with whatever hurtful things I was saying... I was just a dumb jerk. I didn't tell gay jokes because I thought gay people were going to hell, I told gay jokes because I also still told jokes about midgets in Las Vegas brothels.

Dirty jokes were still funny. Gay jokes counted.

So I grew out of that. Thank God.

I do want to let you know that not all Christians are Westboro Baptist members. Some of us are trying to take Jesus very seriously on that whole "Love others" stuff He was always going on about.

Also, to any of my GLBTQ friends who are following after Christ with me... Hang in there. I love you. I feel a little weird around some groups of Christians because our interpretations of Genesis 1-11 differ. I cannot even begin to imagine what your experience must be. I hope we can one day share a communion of Love and Truth and rejoice in each other's company as children of God. I hope that in the meantime you're in a place where God's showing you things and surrounding you with His people.

There are other things that I want to say, but it really feels like I'm being told to shut up, so... I will.

Words

I don't know what to say anymore.

I feel like writing is the only thing* I'm very good at, and I also feel like I've completely forgotten how to do it.

I used to update this once a week, never missed a beat.

I used to write a humor column at least once every two weeks for my college newspaper.

I also used to pray daily.

I don't really do any of these things anymore.

It's so... humbling to remember that God isn't the one who left.

I'm facing some crossroads in my life, trying to find a new direction for Annie and I to go in. (This new direction will hopefully include gainful employment for me. Also, I got fired back in October.)

But the biggest thing I've got to do, no doubt, is regain my focus.

I have allowed the detritus of the world to distract me from the Glory.

Sooooooooooooooooo...  Gotta stop doin' that, I guess...

Pray for me.

* - Well, OK, the only thing that isn't, you know, totally useless. Somebody find me a job as a never-ending source for entirely useless trivia, and I'll be set for life.

On the Theological Import of Cheese

My wife and I were in Whole Foods not too long ago. As we wandered through the store, Annie went looking for some olive juice shampoo and pine sap conditioner, but I wound up lingering by the cheese.

I didn't mean to lose her. It just happened. The cheese guy was behind the counter, and I wanted to sample... everything. The smoked chipotle Gruyere looked amazing, and then there was the honey-infused farmer's cheese, and then the cranberry Wensleydale, and the horseradish cheddar, and the double Gloucester, and goodness... the cheese.

I turned to offer Annie a sample of whatever glorious fromage had just graced my mouth and was surprised to find that she was not there.

So did she leave me? Or did I just get left behind because I was distracted?

How often do I get distracted from God by cheese? (Very.)

As you might have deduced by the state of this blog, my spiritual life has been somehwat dry as of late. Is that God's fault? Did He stop loving me? Did He stop blessing me with each and every step I take? Did He decide He no longer has a direct interest in my life?

Or did I just get distracted by the cheese?

Things get hard in life sometimes. Annie and I don't know where we're going to be living come next month. Shouldn't I still be focused on God?

I have fallen farther behind in my spiritual walk than I am really comfortable admitting to myself. But it's entirely because I got distracted by the cheese.

I got (get) so worked up about the things in the world that I can't even do anything about and it distracts me. I lose my focus on God and put it on frivolities.

I don't want to do that anymore. I had a thriving, brilliant relationship with God not so very long ago... and I've let the mundane fluff of the world pull me away from that. And my goodness, there's just so much of it.

Annie and I could use some prayers. This coming month will be hard for us. But the biggest thing I'd like to ask you to pray for is that I find my focus again. That I can remember where God is and stop being distracted. I've forgotten so many things that I held close and fast in my mind and heart. I just am not where I used to be, and it's because I got distracted.

So... there's that.

A short letter to some folks who ought to know better

Dear every Christian in every pointless argument with any other Christian about Christianity ever:

John 5:39-40.

Look it up.

Yeah. Lookin' at you there, chief.

While we're at it, Titus 3:9.

So knock it off, OK?

You're a Christian, that other person is a Christian, I'm a Christian, we're all Christians...

...so maybe we don't have to fight tooth and nail over translations of the Bible.

Or instruments.

Or the exact point in your acceptance of Jesus Christ at which you will be allowed into heaven if you die before (finishing the prayer/baptism/first communion/first time you mess up passing out communion).

I'm not saying that there aren't issues of doctrine that are worth correcting, because there are. You can't, for instance, sacrifice your children to Molech as a Christian. Yes, I know, it's an OT law, but still, it's not a good thing to do once you're trying to follow Jesus.

You know what is a good Jesus-following thing to do? Not being a nitpicky twerp. That is a very Jesus-like characteristic that it would really behoove a lot of us to develop.

Let's try to maybe focus on the big picture for a minute, OK?

Despite whatever differences of belief may exist between you and your brother from the congregation across the street, they're minute. I promise you, they are teeny tiny. Especially when compared with the differences  between your beliefs and the beliefs of everyone else in the overwhelmingly vast majority of the world who isn't a Christian at all.

If we can't even talk amongst ourselves civilly, how are we ever going to bring those lost in the world in to the Kingdom?

I have never understood how people can argue so much about what the Bible says while completely ignoring what the Bible means.

Forest for the trees, man.  Forest for the ding-danged ol' TREES.

Look, I just... I saw some things, I had concerns... I promise, I still Matthew 22:34-40 you, but you just gotta stop being such a Numbers 22:21-41.

Some things I'd like to see.

More of this:

Christians Protect Protesting Muslims from Pro-Mubarak Thugs

Less of this:

ABC News segment about the Christians protesting the new mosque in Murfreesboro.  Way to represent the home state faith in front of the national media, y'all.  Keep makin' us look terrible.

Also...

More of this:

Christian group says "I'm Sorry" at Gay Pride parade in Chicago

Less of this:

You know these people. I don't need to tell you any more.  If that picture doesn't make you mad, you're not paying attention.

I cannot help but think that our evangelistic efforts would be vastly served if Christians at large actually began to live anything like Jesus, the Christ of whom we are -ians, suggested.

Notice that tag at the bottom of that.  This is from an atheist site.

Gang, I've got some pretty bad news - THE ATHEISTS UNDERSTAND JESUS BETTER THAN OUR TEAM DOES, AND WE'RE THE ONES WHO THINK HE WAS ACTUALLY REAL.

Don't ever, ever, ever forget that the single reason people aren't in church is people who are in church.

Don't be the reason people avoid church. Don't be the reason people don't understand Jesus. Show Love. Show the Love that means that you'll willingly die for someone you will never know in this present reality.

Let's all try to Love other people despite their beliefs that we don't share, especially since we're accepted members of communities of people who care for us and love us because we only believe the same things they do.

Let's all try to Love other people despite their lifestyles of sin, especially since we've all managed to completely eliminate all sins of omission, sins of commission, ignorant sins, known sins, habitual sins, and I-swear-it-was-just-this-one-time-please-don't-arrest-me sins.

I have kinda forgotten how to do this writing thing.

Just a quick update, prayer requests, and food for thought...

Hi!  Been a while.  Sorry.

I have a journal (still blank) that I got for Christmas a few years back.  The cover of it reads something like, "Don't write because you want to say something; write because you have something to say."

I haven't really had anything to say since January.

I've got a lot of things to say now, but it's taking me a while to get it out.  Rest assured, it's coming.  (Like there are ANY of you left reading this!)

The last time I posted, things were rough.

Things are now WAY better.  Thank you for your prayers, love, and goodness.

Big big big big big big thing in my life right now: Annie and I are applying for a CARES Team Apartment Life ministry.  The way we see it, this would be the perfect launching pad for everything we already want to do in our marriage, and a natural extension of everything I have been doing since I moved to Texas.  I have made my life here about reaching out to those who have not been reached.  Some have not even been reached out to in the first place.  I wanna go get 'em.  And with God's help, I have and will continue to do so.

So pray for that, if you would please!

I do have a job now.  It is very boring.  If I were to write about it, it would bore you.  So just know that I have a job, and that it is good enough for now, because it is better than nothing at all.  It could be better.  But it isn't worse.  So that's great.

Amberland is coming up in a hair over a month.  That's kind of a big deal.  Wedding is also coming up.  Kind of a bigger deal.

I asked for help with this back before the New Year because I needed help, and I got help, so I'm asking again because I could use some help.  Amberland is all the way in Georgia, which is quite a stretch from Texas, and gasoline is hovering just under $4.00.  We could use some gas money.

Last year, Corwin and my sister came with me (along with a whole other mess of people) for their first time.  They'll be back with me this year, along with Annie for her first year.  This is my third.  I've served communion two years in a row now, and I plan to keep it going.  Last year, Corwin and Lyn helped me reach out to more people than I could on my own by speaking to them in Truth and showering them in Love.  Annie's along to help us do more.  She already met a chunk of people at the New Year's Eve run, and planted seeds along the way.

I performed a wedding last year.  I can't even begin to tell you the number of people who wanted to talk to "the preacher" after that.  And not just for the rest of that weekend, but even months afterward.  In October, I met a guy at a show in Austin who wasn't even at Amberland last year but had heard about the wedding and wanted to talk to "the preacher."  At the New Year's shows, there were dozens of people who remembered "the preacher."

The groundwork is done.  The foundation is laid.  The seeds are planted.  Things are starting to grow.

I want to be able to keep working.  If you can help me out with gas, please, hit up the PayPal donation thing.  To your right.  Yellow button.  Says "HELP A BROKE DUDE" right above it.

Corwin, Annie and I are all volunteering this year, so we get into the festival for free.  We can eat cheap.  All we need is the gas to get there.  If you can help, please, please, please do.  This is my field.  These are my people.  God has called me to go to them, and go to them I must.  I trust Him to provide.  I just want to make sure I offer you an opportunity to help Him out.

So also pray for Amberland, if you would!

And now I just want to ask a few questions, and I really hope you'll bless me with a response.

When has there been a time in your life that God drastically changed you for the better?  What happened?  Did it hurt?

Just so you know...

Things are hard right now.

I'm in bad need of a job.  I have been in need of a job since moving to Texas in April, and so far, every application's response has been a deafening roar of silence.

I did have a job, briefly, in August.  Over the course of 3 days, I made $52.00...

Problem is I had to spend $60 to make it.  So with 3 days worth of work, I made -$8.

Awesome.

God is good... but it kinda feels like not much else is right now.

I'm incredibly thankful for the blessings I have in my life, chief among them being my wonderful fiancee.  I'm so grateful to have found a woman who is willing to put up with me for the rest of my life.

I'm tired of being a burden.  I'd really like to be able to actually support myself... and, you know...  my future wife.

Things are hard.  I could really use some prayers.  And, if you got it, a hook up on a job that will actually hire me in the mid-cities D/FW area.

I really just don't have a lot to say right now.  I'm sure I'll be back writing soon.  Winter is always hard on me.  This one has proven to be no exception.

Something's gotta give, right?

Just hope it ain't me.

A Genuine Plea for Some Help

Hi.  I don't know if you've ever been here before, so allow me to make some preliminary introductions.

I'm Aaron Rushton, and I am a voice crying out in the wilderness, declaring the way of the Lord.

The particular wilderness I find myself in is the jam-band crowd.  If you don't know what a jam-band crowd is like, imagine everything you've ever heard about Woodstock distilled into one place.  It's kinda like that.

As you might have imagined, this isn't exactly the most church-going group of folks out there.

But they are still people, and they do still need Jesus, and they do definitely still need someone to talk to them about Him.

Over the past three years, God has made it plainly evident to me that I am called to be at least one person sharing the goodness of Christ with the people around me in the jam-band crowd, and specifically, in the Perpetual Groove crowd.

I've mentioned my work in the PGroove circles before.  I am already accepted as "the preacher" in that crowd.  I've served communion at Amberland, the band's three-day camping & music festival, for two years running.  I've seen a lot of love among these people.  They are definitely searching for the Truth.  I've been in hard spots before in trying to reach out to this crowd.  God delivered my help then, and I'm confident He'll do the same thing again now.

I'm specifically asking for help in regards to one thing: getting there.

This year, the Perpetual Groove New Year's Eve run is in Atlanta, Georgia, and I'm going with my fiancée and sister in tow.  We could use a little help in the way of gas money and other expenses for the two days we'll be down there.  It's not a lot, but it is more than I have.  I know Christmas is a hard time of year, financially, but I'm just asking for a little bit of help - little bits add up to a big lot.

You can go to my PayPal donation page and make your donation there, any amount helps.

I realize this may sound like I'm trying to solicit donations in the name of the Lord just so I can take my girlfriend and little sister to a couple of concerts, but I assure you, this is work.  This is my mission field.  This is where God has asked me to make His voice heard.  I can't go to concerts anymore without somebody asking me, "Hey, you're that preacher guy, right?"  And that's when my night always gets interesting.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I know Mark and Lisa, who have been incredibly supportive to me as fellow lights in the darkness.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I talked to Brad until 6:00 AM last year.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I helped Jill redefine her understanding of what God has asked His church to be.

It's because I go to Perpetual Groove shows that I was asked by complete strangers to perform their wedding which gave me an opportunity to present the power of God's Love to a group of people who might not have ever heard it otherwise.

There is work to be done, and I am trying my best to do it.  I'd appreciate some help to get a little further down the road.  God bless you.

Jesus Is Lord. RON PAUL 2012! WOO!

A little under 4 years ago now, I wrote a thing (on Facebook) about what I saw at the time as a dangerous devotion to then-candidate Barack Obama in his bid for the presidency for the United States.  And then, once he won that bid, I had some other thoughts (also on Facebook) about what that meant for the future of America.

The biggest thing that worried me when Obama was running for president was the rabid support he was getting, the almost cultic devotion, the pervasive attitude that when Obama became president, everything would just be better.

So when he won (which, yeah, was kinda inevitable, especially up against John McCain), I was not surprised to see the massive celebrations, the incredible overreactions (nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize after two weeks in office, won the award after eight and a half months), or the continuation of the "Obama can do no wrong" train of thought...

And then reality set in.

People thought they weren't going to have to pay taxes anymore, or deal with the financial mess our nation has been in for the past decade, or grapple with the questions of morality in a time of war.

The man is only a president, not Almighty God, reshaping reality at the merest whim.

He's only a man.

No more, no less.

So...  where do I stand on all that stuff when it comes to the guy I actually want to see as the next president?

I cannot possibly overstate how much I want to see Ron Paul win the 2012 presidential election.  I spend more time on his official campaign website than I do on my email.  I'm constantly looking for new videos to share the message, like this hour-long documentary on the grassroots movement behind Dr. Paul, or this 13-minute discussion about US troops and their support for his foreign policy.

I hate talking about politics...  unless I'm talking about Ron Paul.

But the thing that I'm worried about is falling into the same trap that I warned against in 2007 when Obama was running.  Have I become a cultist?  Am I just chanting the name because I'm hypnotized by the charisma?

Well...  I sure don't think so...  I mean, really...  Watch ANY video of Ron Paul.  Charisma isn't his defining trait.  He's not polished, he's not rehearsed, he's not dropping sound bites...  He's genuine.  He's sincere.  He's passionate.  I just happen to think he's right.

I don't think I'd care if it was Ron Paul as president or not so long as whoever does become president will do the things he's talking about, like ending all the wars we're in, bringing all of the troops home, eliminating the IRS, ending the Federal Reserve, cutting one trillion dollars (that's $1,000,000,000,000) out of the budget in the first year, returning the powers of government to the states, strictly following the Constitution... Yeah, I'd vote for Obama if he was actually going to do that.  I'd vote for Chuck E. Cheese if he was actually going to do that.

But Obama ran on closing down Guantanamo, which hasn't happened.  He ran on withdrawing from Iraq and Afghanistan, which has kinda happened - we've ended official combat operations in Iraq, but we're still leaving thousands of military contractors (nice word for mercenary) over there and building the world's largest embassy to house our fake troops.  He also ran on repealing the Patriot Act, which he actually extended.

I think I'll vote for the guy who has been saying the exact same thing for 30 years, because I really, really, really like what he's got to say.

So what's all this got to do with Jesus?

Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?”

But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?” 

“Caesar’s,” they replied. 

Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”
When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.

Matthew 22:15-22

Is my vote Caesar's?  Or is my vote God's?  If I am to "eat or drink or whatever" to the glory of the Lord, does voting fall into the "whatever"?

I went to Harding University, a small-ish private Church of Christ affiliated school in Searcy, Arkansas.  My first semester was the fall of 2001.  I hadn't been in school for a full month when the 9/11 attacks hit.  I can't exactly say I'm proud of the way I thought about politics back then - but I'm not proud of the way I thought about love, God, or a great deal many other things, either.  I've grown up a lot in the past decade, and I find myself more willing to espouse views of international diplomacy that don't involve carpet bombing.

As I'm sure you can reasonably infer, the political climate at Harding is overwhelmingly Republican, or at least right-wing.  Democrats/left-wingers were not given the fairest of shakes, largely due to a perceived approval by Democrats at Harding of such un-Christian things as abortion, gay marriage, and giving money to poor people.

Whenever discussions of politics came up (which was far more often than I'd like to admit), the inevitable question came up of how these Christian people, dear friends of mine, could vote for politicians who supported such un-Christian things.  The answer I heard over and over again (although not exclusively) was that they did not vote their Christianity.  I heard one professor (who I thought was a total jerk) state that he is not a Christian in the voting booth.

And that, dear reader, is MESSED. UP.

I cannot personally envision a worldview in which one can separate his or her faith from any aspect of his or her life in good conscience.  If you're not a Christian in the voting booth, why would you still be a Christian at work?  Or on the highway?  Or in a bar?

Christianity isn't a thing you do, it's an attempt to change who you are.  In following Christ, we are making strides towards being Him, allowing the Holy Spirit to change us more and more as we continue to focus on the Love of the Father for all mankind.

So am I saying that all good Christians have to vote Republican?

Holy crap, no.  Not at all.  Goodness.  That's a horrid idea.

What I am saying, however, is that if you have to turn off the Jesus part of you to justify voting the way you want to, maybe you just shouldn't vote that way.

I'm voting for Ron Paul because he's crazy libertarian, especially compared to the rest of the GOP candidates.  I like libertarianism.  I believe God created us with free will, and I can't see why we'd let the government take that away.

Now...  that's me.  That's my view on politics through the lens of faith.  I personally believe that the world (or at the very least, the United States) would be a whole lot better off if we could just get the government to leave things alone, here and abroad.

I don't know who you're planning on voting for in the 2012 election.  I hope it's Ron Paul, because I genuinely believe he's the best man for the job, especially with the condition the nation is in.  I also hope that I can do some small part in making you aware of who this man is and encouraging you to check out his website, watch the interviews, read up on his stance on the issues, know what he's saying and decide how you feel about it, because the mainstream media certainly isn't going out if its way to tell you anything about him - and if they do, it's only because they're telling you (or even Ron Paul himself) he has no chance of winning.

But no matter who you're voting for, if you can't reconcile your beliefs with your ballot, please, just don't vote.  It's OK.  If your vote is not to the glory of God at the very least in your own conscience, why on earth are you even voting?  What can possibly be more important?  Does it matter - in the slightest - what other people do in relation to your walk with God?

And if you already do vote your faith, I'd like to encourage you to do something I had to do in the last election.  Sit down and look at everything you believe about politics.  Look at what the guys you support believe.  Now look at what Jesus believes.

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:34-40

Love and Love.

Bombing Pakistan (or any other country) is not Loving, in my view of Love.  Locking people up for decades because of non-violent victimless crimes is not Loving.  Restricting the God-given ability to make our own mistakes and learn from them is not Loving.  But hey... that's just me.

I'm not questioning anything about where my priorities lie.  Jesus is still Hombre numero uno in mi corazon.  But hot skippity dang if Ron Paul ain't just a fascinating man.  I want him to be the next President of the United States.  I want that to be a thing that is.

But should I really even care?  After all...  "This world is not my home, I'm just a-passing through..."

Talk to me, people.

My Fiancée Listens to Horrible Music

OK, I know I'm kind of a music snob...

But seriously, my fiancée - my wonderful, sweet, beautiful, loving fiancée - listens to some terrible music.

And here's the thing - she KNOWS it's bad!  She will freely admit to it!  Without defense or pretense!  She chooses to listen to awful music.

And it's not like everything she listens to is bad...

But really, one Justin Beiber song is bad enough, right?  Throw the Spice Girls, Katy Perry, and Britney Spears on top of it, and man...  Part of me wonders why I'm even dating this girl.

But then, a part of me also wonders why I didn't get super powers last week when I put a spider in the microwave and taunted it into biting me, so I guess it's perfectly OK for me to ignore some of these things that go through my head...

So the music snob in me is fighting with the good boyfriend in me.  The good boyfriend wants to just let her listen to her stuff, even when she turns to me and says, "You are probably going to hate this, but I like it, so, whatever..."  But the music snob is tempted to always carry my iPod and completely dominate the listening choices, making sure she is at least exposed to all the (objectively awesome, of course) music that I listen to, which she can't help but like, because, you know...  it's actually good.

I mean, really...  How could someone NOT enjoy a 20-minute-plus prog rock instrumental freakout?  Come on. 

Lest anyone reading this take me far too seriously here, let me spell this out: I realize that I am not the arbiter of good taste, but again...  even SHE says it's bad music.

So why listen to it?

Annie and I listen to music very differently.  There is a growing area of overlap.  She's introducing me to things I'm enjoying (Seryn, for instance, is definitely a winner), and I'm indoctrinating her with things I listen to (she really likes the select Yes songs I've played for her, which is only natural, because, you know...  it's Yes and they're awesome), and we're just enjoying each other's company.

But man...  The known-to-be-bad music...  That's...  wow.

I'll admit to having some awful music in my collection...  Starship's "We Built This City," for instance.  That song is the worst.  But I have it.  Sometimes I use it as a weapon, sometimes it just gets stuck in my head and the only way I can get it out is to listen to the whole awful, stupid, bad thing.  It's an earworm, and can only be extracted through a painful process.

And yet...  somehow...  I love her.  Not like it makes me some noble prince or anything for being able to look past Beiber, but it really is a challenge.  It's my own hangup.

Annie has flaws other than her musical taste.  Right now, I wouldn't be able to tell you what they are, but I'm confident that they do exist.  In my love for her, I find myself looking past the mistakes and seeing the beauty of who she is.

I need to get better at doing that for everybody else, too.

I fully realize that there's a difference between liking people and loving people.  I've even written about that before, to some extent.  But I've also got to say (to remind myself) that not liking someone is no excuse for not loving them.

It's easy for me to love Annie - she's my fiancée.  I want her to be around.  I want to be nice to her.  She makes me happy.  I want to make her happy.  It's a mutual joy for us to simply be around each other.  So in that, I find myself willing to overlook things like horrible, horrible, horrible music.

But what about the folks in my life who I don't find it as easy to love?  There are definitely people God put in my life who pretty well get on just about all the nerves I've got...  But they still deserve to be loved, right?

Is it the most loving thing to do, telling someone, "Hey, every time you open your mouth, I wish that you were doing the exact opposite of that"?  I don't think so...

But should I lie?

"Can't help about the shape I'm in,
I can't sing, I ain't pretty, and my legs are thin...
But don't ask me what I think of you,
I might not give the answer that you want me to..."

- Fleetwood Mac, "Oh Well"

I don't have an answer for that.  At all.

There are people in my life who I find it extraordinarily difficult to deal with, just on a personal basis. I have made LEAPS and BOUNDS in the past three years towards not being the genuine thoroughbred asshole I once was, but occasionally it comes out.

And I don't have any idea why.

I have been called to the Love of Christ in all that I do.  I am a slave to the Gospel, and the Gospel is Love.  Love is my one single task.

And I have found in Annie Newhouse a person who has done nothing but encourage me to Love others around me better.

I have found a girl who Loves God way more than she loves me, but still loves me way more than I was ready for.  I have been reading through Ephesians 5 a whole lot lately, really thinking about the parallels Paul makes between Christ's Love for the church and a husband's love for his wife.  I have learned a lot about what it means to Love a church in the past six months...  and I want to Love Annie like that.  I want to know what it is to Love someone else by dying to myself, by seeking only her best, laying my life down entirely for her.

I want to be Christ in this world to those who meet me, and I want to learn how to Love them as Christ loves them by learning what the love for my wife should be, and I want to learn that with Annie.

I love you, Annie.

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Thank you for saying yes.

Grapes to Raisins

Since a fairly young age I have had one idea for a tattoo: a bunch of grapes, so once I'm all wrinkled, it'll be a bunch of raisins and still make sense as a tattoo.

I must admit that the idea of a tattoo has started to dig a little deeper than that.

The biggest thing about tattoos - and you can't have the discussion without this coming up - is that they're THERE FOR A WHILE, which has constantly been the largest roadblock in my mind towards ever getting one.  I've never had an idea (other than the grapes) that I really thought was worth having on me as long as there is a me for it to be on.

I already believe that tattoos say a lot about the person who wears them.  If your tattoo says "PARTY NAKIT", that's broadcasting a completely different message than, say, a wedding band that will never fall off or get lost.

So what do I want to say about myself forever?  Who do I want to say it to?  Who don't I need to say it to?  How much can I say?  What is worth saying?

If I'm gonna put it on myself, it's gonna have to be...  man, it's gonna have to be BIG.  It's gonna have to be something that makes the first slide of a Power Point about me.  I mean, I really like Twinkies, but it seems that might be a dumb message to communicate to people across the room at all times.  I would like to make sure that I'm saying something that's worth saying.  Even with as much as I totally dig on Led Zeppelin, I don't feel like that's something crying out to be broadcast on an epidermal frequency.

But there ARE things that I want to say, and the thing about saying them with tattoos is that it seems to be a connection into another subset of the world that a lot of people in Christian circles are uncomfortable reaching out to.  This could just be a reflection of my own experience, who knows, but it seems that I've run across a lot of negative attitudes and judgmental thinking towards those who choose to decorate themselves with tattoos.  Is it just because of the single reference against tattoos found in the Bible (Leviticus 19:28)?  Or is it because of the association between tattoos and the counterculture?

Jesus strikes me as a remarkably countercultural figure.  I can only hope to be even a fraction of what He was, and I especially feel called to go out to the ones Jesus specifically stated He was called to - the tax collectors and sinners, the "sick", not the healthy.

There's a lot of power in tattoos, especially among those who actually have tattoos.  Every tattoo - whether a good decision or not - represents something that the person who wears it thought (at least at one point) to be worth saying forever.

Is it worth saying that I am completely sold to following my God through His Son, listening to His Spirit?  Can I put that out there?  Is that allowed?

I don't even know if I'll ever wind up getting a tattoo.  I've been thinking about it, and I've got a couple ideas...  but the only reason I'd even get it is to bear witness to those in the darkness who don't know that there is a better way.  If I can show someone how worthwhile my faith is for me, maybe that will lead to a conversation that changes things for them.

Who knows, maybe I should just get the entire text of Mere Christianity on my bicep.

(OK, that might be a little small...  Definitely more room on my stomach...)

Birthday Fruit Check

OK, so...  I'm 28 today.  That's a thing.

I did manage to survive being 27.  That's something that Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse did not accomplish...  I would like to believe that this is related in at least a few ways to my decision to make non-heroin life choices.

Well...  OK, that's unfair to Robert Johnson.  But man, that guy's life was so hard, being let go at 27 was a commutation of his sentence in view of time served.

I am definitely not the same dude I was a year ago.  I believe I'm a better guy.  I'm going to go ahead and chalk all the credit for that up to God, because He knows better than I do that I didn't do it on my own.

Over the past year, I have found myself growing more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.  In case you missed what I was doing there, those are the fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23.

Now...  I did not choose to be those things.  I wanted to be those things, sure, but I did not set out to do those things.  I set out to follow God more closely.  I chose to submit to His Will.  I chose to model my life on the example and teachings of Jesus.  I made room for the Holy Spirit in my life, and - whaddya know - it made an extraordinary difference.

I don't know where you're at with the Holy Spirit.  Growing up in the Church of Christ, even with the parents that I have, I didn't hear much about it.  Mom and Dad definitely talked about it more than anyone at church ever did.  There was always this vague idea floating around (thanks to some disgustingly bad understandings of I Corinthians 13) that the Holy Spirit only exists (currently) within the pages of the Bible.

THAT IS REALLY DUMB THEOLOGY.

The Holy Spirit is a part of God.  It is, in fact, the Spirit of God Himself.  Hence the "Holy" part.  God is eternal.  Any one part of eternity is still an eternal thing.  So the Spirit is just as eternal as God Himself.

If we say that the Spirit is in the Bible itself, then the Bible is on par with God.  That ain't cutting it.  If we say, however, that the Spirit merely interacts with us through the Bible, then we are saying things that the Bible does not say about the Spirit.

Jesus makes it perfectly clear that the Spirit would allow His disciples to not only understand all of His teachings, but also enable them and embolden them to actually carry out His work on earth.  I try to live my life by the basic guideline that Jesus knew what He was talking about, so I'm thinking that the Spirit just might still be active in the world today.  Hope you're with me on that one.

But I think so many people miss the work of the Spirit in their own lives because they're so focused on the fruit thereof... instead of the Spirit itself.

If I nail an apple to a pine tree, that doesn't make it an apple tree, does it?

So why do so many people seem to believe that we can simply choose to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, etc... and call it a day on getting the fruits of the Spirit into our lives?

The thing is that while, yes, we can make choices that move us towards being better people, one of the key choices we have to make is completely tied up in whether or not we actually have the ability to do anything good for ourselves.

As I mentioned in the last post, there are some pretty substantial points to be picked up from an understanding of the nature of God, and how that nature reflects on the Love that God has shown us so richly.

The Spirit is God.  God is Love.  The Spirit is Love.  The Spirit dwelling in us is Love dwelling in us.

But is it showing up?

I can't check your life, I can only look at mine...  which is what I've been doing a lot of lately.  I've been looking to see if those fruits have shown up in my life, and I believe they have.  I believe, fully, that the Holy Spirit has managed to get through my thick skull in a few places and transform me into a better dude, which is pretty solid all around, if you ask me.

So many people have an end-times-only view of Christianity.  They're convinced that the only good of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus was our redemption, so we can get to Heaven when we die.

Here's the thing...  I don't know when I'm gonna die, but I do know that I ain't dead yet, so the Heaven bits don't do me a ton of good right now.  I also know that before He died, Jesus sure had a whole dang lot of stuff to say about the way we live.

The transformative powers of the Gospel are not limited to the eternal, but reach out to the temporal, as well.  This world can be better.  This life can be easier.  Love can be stronger.  We just have to accept that as reality and furthermore understand that the only way it ever will actually happen is through the direct involvement of God Himself...  in the form of His Spirit coming down and showing us how to live.

The Spirit is definitely the part of the Trinity that confuses people the most.  Some people are so confused by it that they refuse to accept the possibility of it even existing or working in our lives today, and that's a bummer, because I'd hate to believe that I don't serve an active, living God.  Otherwise, what's the point?

Aren't we to a place where we can actually trust God when He says He'll do a thing?

I mean, He at least worked out some good in me...  That's gotta count for something, right?

Some thoughts about the Trinity

I'm assuming that you're familiar with the concept of the Trinity.  Father, Son, Spirit...  Individual aspects of God, yet all God.  Three distinct facets of one eternal constant.

So let's talk about that.

God is Love, right?

So the Father is Love, the Son is Love, the Spirit is Love...  God is Love, God is Love, God is Love...

Jesus, the Son, lived a life without sin.  Jesus is God is Love.  A life of the Love of God is a life without sin.

Jesus, who is God, tells us that the greatest commandments, the two principles upon which the entirety of the rest of the Bible is founded, are to Love God with everything in ourselves and to Love Others as ourselves.

So Jesus Loves God with all of His heart, soul, and mind, yes?

And Jesus also Loves His neighbor as Himself, right?

And Himself is God, right?

Jesus, therefore, Loves His neighbor as He Loves God.

Jesus' Love for God = Jesus' Love for not-God

Is that even possible?  Can the Son Love us as much as He Loves the Father?  Would that mean that the Son worships us?

Or does Love of God carry with it understandings of the difference between God and not-God?

God is Holy.  God is Good.  God is Eternal.

We're...  not.

But I Love my mom, I Love my sister, I Love (the woman that prayerfully one day will be my wife should that be in God's plan for me), I Love the women I go to church with, I Love my female friends... and I Love them all very differently.

I don't Love every woman I see like she's my mom.  My mom is the only mom who gets to be called my mom, and nothing can ever change that relationship because of its very defined nature.  My mom is my mom.  No one else is my mom, so I don't act like anyone else is my mom.

So does Jesus feel the same way about us and God the Father?

God the Father is the only one who is God the Father.  The exclusivity of His nature necessitates a proper response from appropriate Love for Him.  That response is called worship.  God is way bigger than we are. God deserves worship.  That's what Love for God is.  Loving God specifically demands worship because of a recognition that God, in His defined nature, is the sole claimant to the "worthy of worship" title.

Loving God for being God is worshiping God.

Loving me for being me is most assuredly not worshiping me.

But if God Loves me the same way He Loves you...

And if I am supposed to Love you the same way He Loves me...

Then am I supposed to Love you the same way I Love God?  Or even Love God the same way I Love you?

I don't know how many of you care about these things or ever even think of them, but this is what my brain swirls around 90% of the time.

Back to that greatest commandments thing.  Jesus tells us to Love God with everything in us and Love our neighbors as though they were us.

And now think about this.

Jesus, the Son, Loves the Father.  The Son also Loves the Spirit, which is His own Spirit.  So in the perfection of holiness of the Trinity, we find that the Son Loves God and His neighbor, the Spirit, as He Loves Himself...  ALSO GOD.

Now...  I realize that we're not Jesus.  But we are supposed to be as like Him as we possibly can, right?

So maybe we should all just be super crazy on the Love for everybody and God.

I hope I'm making sense.  I wrote most of this at 3AM.  It's just a thing I've had going through my head.  Tell me if I'm wrong.

A Conversation I'm Having With Myself

I wonder where I stand in God's eyes. How am I doing?

Am I doing the best I can?

Yes...

...but?

I'm not doing the best I could.

Ah.  I see where the concern comes in.  But let me ask me this.  Am I intentionally doing less than the best I know how to do at this point in my life, with the tools I have at my disposal?

No...

So I'm trying to Love God with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength?

Yeah...

And I'm trying my best to Love Others as I Love myself, seeking what is the best for the most people instead of just for me?

Umm...  Yes?

My confidence is overwhelming.

Right, yeah, I...  I think I'm doing that?  I'm at least TRYING to do that...  But the thing is I just...  ugh.  I'm just so bad at it.  Very bad.  Just...  Dude.  I am not good at that thing.

Hey, come on...  I'm not...  umm...  awful.  I'm not...  like...  OK, I haven't killed anybody.  That's pretty good.

Right, but can I really be content with just not being so bad that I have to go to jail?  I'm already borderline homeless.  Jail would kinda be a step up.  Three hots and a cot, man.  Can't argue with that.  

Point granted.

But I already know that "not bad" isn't good enough.  Following Christ is not about just not being bad, it is about actively being good.  It is about self-sacrificial, holy, outward-moving Love.  And I'm not great at that.

Am I so sure of that, though?  Obviously not everybody on this planet thinks I'm a total jerk.

Well, sure, but that's just because not everybody on the planet has been burdened with the knowledge that I exist.

Oh, come on...  I'm not that bad.

Easy for me to say.

Look...  I've got a hugely supportive family, I'm obviously very loved by a whole lot of people who aren't even related to me, I've got a lot of friends who would take a bullet for me...  I've made a positive impact on at least a few people's lives or else nobody would give me the time of day, much less house me and feed me.

I...  have a point.

It's pretty useless arguing with me.

But look at me!  I'm a failure.  Nothing is going the way it's supposed to.

How are things "supposed to" go, then?

Well...  Alright, look, don't get smart.  But seriously, I don't have a job --

Wrong. I don't have an income.  I have a job.  I am doing the job God asked me to do by reaching out to the people He has placed in my life.  I've definitely made an impact on those people's lives.

Sure, but Mussolini made an impact on Italy.  Doesn't mean it was good.

I'm surely not comparing myself to a fascist dictator, am I?  Come on.

No, but look, man...  Maybe I'm in the spot I'm in because I've just made so many dumb choices over the last decade that I've lost all context of what a good life is even supposed to be like.

Well, maybe...  But maybe I was led here.  Maybe I'm in a position where I can reach out to people that others can't, or don't, or won't.  Maybe God wants me living the life I'm living because it puts me in a position to reach His lost sheep.

Ugh.  Man.  Maybe...  I dunno.  I just feel like I've got to be making some huge mistake that I just can't see yet.

Well...  Yeah.  I am.  I'm still human.  I'm not going to be not making at least one huge mistake until I become something else.  God is refining me.  Am I strong enough to endure the fire?

How do I know God is refining me in the first place?  How do I know this fire isn't God telling me I should go somewhere that isn't on fire?

Didn't Jesus say that those who follow Him would suffer for Him?

Well, yeah, but isn't every other verse in the book of Proverbs about how fools destroy themselves and think they're doing the right thing?  Am I in the spot I'm in because I've chosen to trust God for all I need, or is it just because I'm an idiot?

God makes the wisdom of the world foolishness.  All of the Apostles but John met violent deaths, and John died an old man in exile.  Do I think they had the reliable material comforts that I'm really whining about?

No, but that whole "Hey, my shadow touched a lame guy and now he can walk" kind of thing is a pretty solid indicator that God is a fan of what a dude is doing.  I can't claim that.

No, because that's not my story.  I'm not there.  I'm here.  I have to be what God asked me to be, not what He asked other people to be.

Yeah...  Man.  I hate it when I'm right.

I know, it's hard, but hey, I'm not the only one who deals with that problem.  Tons of people hate it when I'm right, apparently...

Will it ever get better?

Of course!

OK, yeah...  Will it ever get better in this lifetime?

Don't look at me!  How am I supposed to know?  But does it really matter if my life gets better?  Isn't it about me getting better?  Isn't it about my relationship with God getting better?  Isn't it about the world getting better?  God never said I'd have a reliable car, a fully stocked fridge, and my very own key to my very own place.

And it's getting hot again, too...

Now I'm not even making a point, I'm just whining.

Yeah, I'm right...  sorry.

It's OK.

But seriously, how do I know if I'm doing the right thing?

What am I trying to do?

Reach the lost.  Specifically, those that most folks can't, won't, haven't, don't...  Whatever.  I'm trying to be the doctor going to the sick, not to the healthy.

And what is the point of everything in Luke 15?

...wow, yeah...

So do I think I'm doing something God wants somebody down here to do?

Yeah.

Do I think He's equipped me to do that task?

...yyyyyesssss?

Come on.  On May 28, 2011, I performed a wedding at a concert festival for two people I'd never met.  In a crowd that is not used to having people around who identify themselves as a preacher, everybody who knows me knows me specifically as the preacher.  Even guys in the bands that played the festival know I'm a preacher.  I am making an impact, dude.  That was a victory.  I read some Truth to some people who might not hear it very often.  Love was the message, man, and the people responded.

Yeah...  Yeah, they did...  That was pretty awesome...

Totally awesome!  Incredibly awesome!  Wicked awesome!

But what about when I'm not at Amberland?  I mean, that's...  that's kind of its own thing, man...  I can't expect every day life to be like Amberland.

No, but I can still treat people like I treat them at Amberland.  I already know I love everybody at Amberland, right?

Right...

And where does that get me?

Uhh...  Some pretty awesome places, really...

Exactly!  And how do I feel about my ministry when I'm in the PGroove crowd?

Pretty, uhh...  pretty groovy, man...

Right on, brother.  So just treat everybody that way.  Love them all.  Be honest about who I am and what God has done for me.  Be bold in my Love for them, and be bold about how important God is in my life.

But is everybody else ready for the same "ministry style" I have in that world?

Not at all...  but am I even called to minister to everybody else in the first place?

I...  I guess not...

Right.  So don't sweat it.  The people I am sent to will be the ones who respond.  The ones I wasn't sent to will either take it and benefit from it or toss it out completely.  Even Jesus was sent to a specific crowd to do His thing.

Right...  Man.  Jesus.  What a guy, right?

Totally.

Wow.  What a guy.

So are we good?

Well...  For now...  Yeah, I guess...

I'll take what I can get.