Do I Surprise You?

So a few nights ago, I went out to Nashville with my buddy Will to catch the Umphrey's McGee show at War Memorial Auditorium. That it was Umphrey's McGee doesn't really have any bearing on the story, I just thought I would throw that out for those of you who actually know who Umphrey's McGee is, so you could be jealous. (As you all should.)

While we were standing in line for our tickets, we got to talking to this guy - well, OK, he got to talking to us - who really liked letting us know just how connected he was. He said he was college buddies with the guys in the opening band, and would have been on the guest list if he'd wanted to, but he felt like paying for his ticket to support his friends. He pointed out a name on one of the bronze plaques commemorating all of the soldiers from Tennessee who died in WWI, and proudly said, "Well, there it is! Cunningham!" (or whatever his last name was, I forget), as though Will and I should have already known who this guy was. As time went on, he kept name-dropping all these people he'd worked with, places he'd gone, how much he paid for the rarer brands of Scotch he had in his cabinet back home...

But then he started talking about his break-up with his girlfriend. They'd broken up two months ago, and he was showing incredible maturity and restraint by not just immediately seducing any of the dozens - nay, scores! - of eager, nubile women he could have easily attained at any moment. Instead, he told us, he was taking some time off from the dating scene. After all, he knows they'll wind up back together eventually. And besides, he's still good friends with her father, since, as he pointed out to us, "he's a Christian, I'm a Christian, we're both Christian men, so there's been a reconciliation..."

Now... PLEASE don't think that I'm making any sort of judgment call on this guy. There was nothing about his behavior in the 30 minutes or so that Will and I were waiting in line with him that was characteristically un-Christian. He was kind of long winded, maybe, but hey, so was Paul. I definitely don't have any problem with Christians drinking, and there's nothing in the world wrong with a Christian being at an Umphrey's McGee show.

But at the same time, I was surprised when he just dropped that tidbit on me. It's not so much that there was anything in his behavior that made me think he wasn't a Christian, it's just that there was absolutely nothing about his behavior that made me think he was a Christian.

I really hope people aren't surprised when I tell them I'm a Christian. I really hope it makes sense. I really hope they don't even need me to tell them!

People are consistently surprised when they find out I'm an Eagle Scout. Honestly, I can see how that happens.

People are consistently surprised when they find out I'm actually a pretty good cook. This is an absolute mystery to me.

But I really hope my faith comes as no surprise to people. I am striving to present an endless, selfless, deep, genuine love to everyone I meet - a "love that surpasses knowledge."

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

- Ephesians 5:1-2

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?

- II Corinthians 2:14-16

So here's how that's all coming out in my life right now.

I am becoming less and less of a jerk with each passing day, and quite frankly, it's exhilarating.

I am becoming more and more of the guy I've always wanted people to think I already was. I'm more patient, more sympathetic and empathetic, more generous, more self-controlled, more gentle... All around nicer! I'm just becoming a nicer guy! And it's fantastic!

I'm telling you all this not to boast in my own accomplishments, or in any way to glorify myself, but to sincerely give all credit and praise to God for the work He has done, is doing, and will continue to do in me.

I look at the guy I was five years ago, the guy I was three years ago, the guy I was one year ago, the guy I was yesterday, and I see so many parts of my life where God has refused to let me stay the same, even if I was perfectly content to do just that.

I've been through some pain, but that pain served to buff out my rough spots. I've been through some really high points, but those high points served to show me how well my life can work when I have love on my mind and Christ in my heart. I've been through some really hectic, frenetic, manically busy spots, but being so busy served to show me that there are some things I don't need to worry about, because God has it taken care of already. I've been through some really slow, dull, empty stretches, but those slow periods served to teach me the value of meditation and time alone with God.

So why am I telling you? What good does it do you? Well... I don't really know.

I hope my testimony can be a point of hope for you in your walk with God. Maybe you're already beyond where I am right now, or you're getting there with me, and this is simply an opportunity for you to join me in thanking God for the transformative work He does in all of us when we open up to Him. If you're not quite there yet - if you're still struggling to allow God's will to supersede your own, if you're still having a hard time hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit over your own voice - then I hope this can serve as a point of encouragement for you. I hope that you can see where God has brought me in my walk with Him, and let that show you that you can walk just as far, and even farther.

You CAN have an intimate, personal, vibrant relationship with God. Believe me. If I can do it, anybody can. If God can take me - arrogant, skeptical, impulsive, greedy, selfish, impatient, lustful and bitter as I was - and turn me into a new man - a more humble, more faithful, more self-controlled, more generous, more selfless, more patient, more pure and more joyous man - then He can certainly do it with you, or anyone else for that matter.

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that He considered me faithful, appointing me to His service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

- I Timothy 1:12-17

I can take no credit - and don't want to anyway - for the changes that are coming around in me. The glory belongs entirely to God, who reconciled me to Himself through His Son, Jesus Christ, and who guides me in His Will for me through His Holy Spirit.

I want to be Christ to the world around me. I want to show everyone I come in contact with the same love that has been shown to me. I want to build a reputation as a man singularly dedicated to the expansion of the Kingdom of God. I want to love, share, teach, preach, reach, serve, feed, clothe, visit... I want to do it all. I want to be God's conduit. I want to be unstoppable.

My friend Corwin and I have had a couple of conversations lately that have led us to an idea we're both really fond of. It's sad to say that in today's world we are not unfamiliar with religious extremists who are willing to die violent suicidal deaths, taking out groups of innocents and themselves as well in the name of their faith.

But what if we had that same zeal? What if we had that same unstoppable, fanatical faith that would lead us to sacrifice our own lives? And what if, instead of sacrificing our lives in the name of violence and terror, we sacrificed our lives in the name of love and peace? What if we decided that we weren't going to be suicide bombers, but instead, suicide lovers? What if we decided, "OK, world... You know what? I am going to love you, no matter what. I am going to show you what love really looks like, even if it kills me."

I imagine that would be something of a surprise, wouldn't it?