Birthday Fruit Check

OK, so...  I'm 28 today.  That's a thing.

I did manage to survive being 27.  That's something that Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse did not accomplish...  I would like to believe that this is related in at least a few ways to my decision to make non-heroin life choices.

Well...  OK, that's unfair to Robert Johnson.  But man, that guy's life was so hard, being let go at 27 was a commutation of his sentence in view of time served.

I am definitely not the same dude I was a year ago.  I believe I'm a better guy.  I'm going to go ahead and chalk all the credit for that up to God, because He knows better than I do that I didn't do it on my own.

Over the past year, I have found myself growing more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.  In case you missed what I was doing there, those are the fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23.

Now...  I did not choose to be those things.  I wanted to be those things, sure, but I did not set out to do those things.  I set out to follow God more closely.  I chose to submit to His Will.  I chose to model my life on the example and teachings of Jesus.  I made room for the Holy Spirit in my life, and - whaddya know - it made an extraordinary difference.

I don't know where you're at with the Holy Spirit.  Growing up in the Church of Christ, even with the parents that I have, I didn't hear much about it.  Mom and Dad definitely talked about it more than anyone at church ever did.  There was always this vague idea floating around (thanks to some disgustingly bad understandings of I Corinthians 13) that the Holy Spirit only exists (currently) within the pages of the Bible.

THAT IS REALLY DUMB THEOLOGY.

The Holy Spirit is a part of God.  It is, in fact, the Spirit of God Himself.  Hence the "Holy" part.  God is eternal.  Any one part of eternity is still an eternal thing.  So the Spirit is just as eternal as God Himself.

If we say that the Spirit is in the Bible itself, then the Bible is on par with God.  That ain't cutting it.  If we say, however, that the Spirit merely interacts with us through the Bible, then we are saying things that the Bible does not say about the Spirit.

Jesus makes it perfectly clear that the Spirit would allow His disciples to not only understand all of His teachings, but also enable them and embolden them to actually carry out His work on earth.  I try to live my life by the basic guideline that Jesus knew what He was talking about, so I'm thinking that the Spirit just might still be active in the world today.  Hope you're with me on that one.

But I think so many people miss the work of the Spirit in their own lives because they're so focused on the fruit thereof... instead of the Spirit itself.

If I nail an apple to a pine tree, that doesn't make it an apple tree, does it?

So why do so many people seem to believe that we can simply choose to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, etc... and call it a day on getting the fruits of the Spirit into our lives?

The thing is that while, yes, we can make choices that move us towards being better people, one of the key choices we have to make is completely tied up in whether or not we actually have the ability to do anything good for ourselves.

As I mentioned in the last post, there are some pretty substantial points to be picked up from an understanding of the nature of God, and how that nature reflects on the Love that God has shown us so richly.

The Spirit is God.  God is Love.  The Spirit is Love.  The Spirit dwelling in us is Love dwelling in us.

But is it showing up?

I can't check your life, I can only look at mine...  which is what I've been doing a lot of lately.  I've been looking to see if those fruits have shown up in my life, and I believe they have.  I believe, fully, that the Holy Spirit has managed to get through my thick skull in a few places and transform me into a better dude, which is pretty solid all around, if you ask me.

So many people have an end-times-only view of Christianity.  They're convinced that the only good of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus was our redemption, so we can get to Heaven when we die.

Here's the thing...  I don't know when I'm gonna die, but I do know that I ain't dead yet, so the Heaven bits don't do me a ton of good right now.  I also know that before He died, Jesus sure had a whole dang lot of stuff to say about the way we live.

The transformative powers of the Gospel are not limited to the eternal, but reach out to the temporal, as well.  This world can be better.  This life can be easier.  Love can be stronger.  We just have to accept that as reality and furthermore understand that the only way it ever will actually happen is through the direct involvement of God Himself...  in the form of His Spirit coming down and showing us how to live.

The Spirit is definitely the part of the Trinity that confuses people the most.  Some people are so confused by it that they refuse to accept the possibility of it even existing or working in our lives today, and that's a bummer, because I'd hate to believe that I don't serve an active, living God.  Otherwise, what's the point?

Aren't we to a place where we can actually trust God when He says He'll do a thing?

I mean, He at least worked out some good in me...  That's gotta count for something, right?

Some thoughts about the Trinity

I'm assuming that you're familiar with the concept of the Trinity.  Father, Son, Spirit...  Individual aspects of God, yet all God.  Three distinct facets of one eternal constant.

So let's talk about that.

God is Love, right?

So the Father is Love, the Son is Love, the Spirit is Love...  God is Love, God is Love, God is Love...

Jesus, the Son, lived a life without sin.  Jesus is God is Love.  A life of the Love of God is a life without sin.

Jesus, who is God, tells us that the greatest commandments, the two principles upon which the entirety of the rest of the Bible is founded, are to Love God with everything in ourselves and to Love Others as ourselves.

So Jesus Loves God with all of His heart, soul, and mind, yes?

And Jesus also Loves His neighbor as Himself, right?

And Himself is God, right?

Jesus, therefore, Loves His neighbor as He Loves God.

Jesus' Love for God = Jesus' Love for not-God

Is that even possible?  Can the Son Love us as much as He Loves the Father?  Would that mean that the Son worships us?

Or does Love of God carry with it understandings of the difference between God and not-God?

God is Holy.  God is Good.  God is Eternal.

We're...  not.

But I Love my mom, I Love my sister, I Love (the woman that prayerfully one day will be my wife should that be in God's plan for me), I Love the women I go to church with, I Love my female friends... and I Love them all very differently.

I don't Love every woman I see like she's my mom.  My mom is the only mom who gets to be called my mom, and nothing can ever change that relationship because of its very defined nature.  My mom is my mom.  No one else is my mom, so I don't act like anyone else is my mom.

So does Jesus feel the same way about us and God the Father?

God the Father is the only one who is God the Father.  The exclusivity of His nature necessitates a proper response from appropriate Love for Him.  That response is called worship.  God is way bigger than we are. God deserves worship.  That's what Love for God is.  Loving God specifically demands worship because of a recognition that God, in His defined nature, is the sole claimant to the "worthy of worship" title.

Loving God for being God is worshiping God.

Loving me for being me is most assuredly not worshiping me.

But if God Loves me the same way He Loves you...

And if I am supposed to Love you the same way He Loves me...

Then am I supposed to Love you the same way I Love God?  Or even Love God the same way I Love you?

I don't know how many of you care about these things or ever even think of them, but this is what my brain swirls around 90% of the time.

Back to that greatest commandments thing.  Jesus tells us to Love God with everything in us and Love our neighbors as though they were us.

And now think about this.

Jesus, the Son, Loves the Father.  The Son also Loves the Spirit, which is His own Spirit.  So in the perfection of holiness of the Trinity, we find that the Son Loves God and His neighbor, the Spirit, as He Loves Himself...  ALSO GOD.

Now...  I realize that we're not Jesus.  But we are supposed to be as like Him as we possibly can, right?

So maybe we should all just be super crazy on the Love for everybody and God.

I hope I'm making sense.  I wrote most of this at 3AM.  It's just a thing I've had going through my head.  Tell me if I'm wrong.

A Conversation I'm Having With Myself

I wonder where I stand in God's eyes. How am I doing?

Am I doing the best I can?

Yes...

...but?

I'm not doing the best I could.

Ah.  I see where the concern comes in.  But let me ask me this.  Am I intentionally doing less than the best I know how to do at this point in my life, with the tools I have at my disposal?

No...

So I'm trying to Love God with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength?

Yeah...

And I'm trying my best to Love Others as I Love myself, seeking what is the best for the most people instead of just for me?

Umm...  Yes?

My confidence is overwhelming.

Right, yeah, I...  I think I'm doing that?  I'm at least TRYING to do that...  But the thing is I just...  ugh.  I'm just so bad at it.  Very bad.  Just...  Dude.  I am not good at that thing.

Hey, come on...  I'm not...  umm...  awful.  I'm not...  like...  OK, I haven't killed anybody.  That's pretty good.

Right, but can I really be content with just not being so bad that I have to go to jail?  I'm already borderline homeless.  Jail would kinda be a step up.  Three hots and a cot, man.  Can't argue with that.  

Point granted.

But I already know that "not bad" isn't good enough.  Following Christ is not about just not being bad, it is about actively being good.  It is about self-sacrificial, holy, outward-moving Love.  And I'm not great at that.

Am I so sure of that, though?  Obviously not everybody on this planet thinks I'm a total jerk.

Well, sure, but that's just because not everybody on the planet has been burdened with the knowledge that I exist.

Oh, come on...  I'm not that bad.

Easy for me to say.

Look...  I've got a hugely supportive family, I'm obviously very loved by a whole lot of people who aren't even related to me, I've got a lot of friends who would take a bullet for me...  I've made a positive impact on at least a few people's lives or else nobody would give me the time of day, much less house me and feed me.

I...  have a point.

It's pretty useless arguing with me.

But look at me!  I'm a failure.  Nothing is going the way it's supposed to.

How are things "supposed to" go, then?

Well...  Alright, look, don't get smart.  But seriously, I don't have a job --

Wrong. I don't have an income.  I have a job.  I am doing the job God asked me to do by reaching out to the people He has placed in my life.  I've definitely made an impact on those people's lives.

Sure, but Mussolini made an impact on Italy.  Doesn't mean it was good.

I'm surely not comparing myself to a fascist dictator, am I?  Come on.

No, but look, man...  Maybe I'm in the spot I'm in because I've just made so many dumb choices over the last decade that I've lost all context of what a good life is even supposed to be like.

Well, maybe...  But maybe I was led here.  Maybe I'm in a position where I can reach out to people that others can't, or don't, or won't.  Maybe God wants me living the life I'm living because it puts me in a position to reach His lost sheep.

Ugh.  Man.  Maybe...  I dunno.  I just feel like I've got to be making some huge mistake that I just can't see yet.

Well...  Yeah.  I am.  I'm still human.  I'm not going to be not making at least one huge mistake until I become something else.  God is refining me.  Am I strong enough to endure the fire?

How do I know God is refining me in the first place?  How do I know this fire isn't God telling me I should go somewhere that isn't on fire?

Didn't Jesus say that those who follow Him would suffer for Him?

Well, yeah, but isn't every other verse in the book of Proverbs about how fools destroy themselves and think they're doing the right thing?  Am I in the spot I'm in because I've chosen to trust God for all I need, or is it just because I'm an idiot?

God makes the wisdom of the world foolishness.  All of the Apostles but John met violent deaths, and John died an old man in exile.  Do I think they had the reliable material comforts that I'm really whining about?

No, but that whole "Hey, my shadow touched a lame guy and now he can walk" kind of thing is a pretty solid indicator that God is a fan of what a dude is doing.  I can't claim that.

No, because that's not my story.  I'm not there.  I'm here.  I have to be what God asked me to be, not what He asked other people to be.

Yeah...  Man.  I hate it when I'm right.

I know, it's hard, but hey, I'm not the only one who deals with that problem.  Tons of people hate it when I'm right, apparently...

Will it ever get better?

Of course!

OK, yeah...  Will it ever get better in this lifetime?

Don't look at me!  How am I supposed to know?  But does it really matter if my life gets better?  Isn't it about me getting better?  Isn't it about my relationship with God getting better?  Isn't it about the world getting better?  God never said I'd have a reliable car, a fully stocked fridge, and my very own key to my very own place.

And it's getting hot again, too...

Now I'm not even making a point, I'm just whining.

Yeah, I'm right...  sorry.

It's OK.

But seriously, how do I know if I'm doing the right thing?

What am I trying to do?

Reach the lost.  Specifically, those that most folks can't, won't, haven't, don't...  Whatever.  I'm trying to be the doctor going to the sick, not to the healthy.

And what is the point of everything in Luke 15?

...wow, yeah...

So do I think I'm doing something God wants somebody down here to do?

Yeah.

Do I think He's equipped me to do that task?

...yyyyyesssss?

Come on.  On May 28, 2011, I performed a wedding at a concert festival for two people I'd never met.  In a crowd that is not used to having people around who identify themselves as a preacher, everybody who knows me knows me specifically as the preacher.  Even guys in the bands that played the festival know I'm a preacher.  I am making an impact, dude.  That was a victory.  I read some Truth to some people who might not hear it very often.  Love was the message, man, and the people responded.

Yeah...  Yeah, they did...  That was pretty awesome...

Totally awesome!  Incredibly awesome!  Wicked awesome!

But what about when I'm not at Amberland?  I mean, that's...  that's kind of its own thing, man...  I can't expect every day life to be like Amberland.

No, but I can still treat people like I treat them at Amberland.  I already know I love everybody at Amberland, right?

Right...

And where does that get me?

Uhh...  Some pretty awesome places, really...

Exactly!  And how do I feel about my ministry when I'm in the PGroove crowd?

Pretty, uhh...  pretty groovy, man...

Right on, brother.  So just treat everybody that way.  Love them all.  Be honest about who I am and what God has done for me.  Be bold in my Love for them, and be bold about how important God is in my life.

But is everybody else ready for the same "ministry style" I have in that world?

Not at all...  but am I even called to minister to everybody else in the first place?

I...  I guess not...

Right.  So don't sweat it.  The people I am sent to will be the ones who respond.  The ones I wasn't sent to will either take it and benefit from it or toss it out completely.  Even Jesus was sent to a specific crowd to do His thing.

Right...  Man.  Jesus.  What a guy, right?

Totally.

Wow.  What a guy.

So are we good?

Well...  For now...  Yeah, I guess...

I'll take what I can get.

A Toast to a Bro

I would like to tell you about my friend and Brother Chris Cochran.

This handsome chap in the kilt is a king among ants.

I have known Chris Cochran to carry 5 packs of cigarettes with him at all times.

I have seen Chris drink every bit as much as I drink, if not more...  And folks, I can drink a lot.  Chris is a wee man.  He's - MAYBE - a third my size.

(I didn't say he held it as well as I do, though...)

(I've seen him pretty drunk, is what I'm saying.)

And lest you think that I'm performing a character assasination on my friend, let me assure you that I am writing about Chris for the simple fact that I realize that not everybody can actually meet him and know him the way I do, but I wish that everybody could, because my goodness, is he an awesome guy.

Ever since I left Searcy in 2009, Chris's place, whever it has been throughout the past few years, has always been the place to be.  Not just for me, but for everybody.  When class or work was over, everybody showed up at Chris's place.

Whether it was for Twilight Zone Thursdays (it was Thursdays, right?), or just for a smoke, a beer, and some time with the boys, it was where you went.

I've never been to "Chris's place" when it was just Chris's place.  Chris has always had roommates, and he definitely didn't aim to cause trouble with them, but if you needed a couch, Chris had two, plus the air mattress if you'd rather sleep on that.  If you hadn't had a beer in a while, Chris would wet your whistle.  If you hadn't had a bite to eat, Chris was already pulling something out of the fridge for you.

I was at Chris's once when Chris was not - this is just how Chris lives his life, he never knows who will be in his house once he gets there, but he is never upset to see that you are in his house - but Freddie and Dave were, along with a few other guys.  When Chris came in, arms laden from a trip to Walmart, his eyes met Freddie's.

"Oh, good, you're here!"

Chris set a bag down and picked through another until he pulled out a 12 pack of really nice toilet paper, which he chucked to Freddie.

"Now, STOP stealin' my damn TOILET PAPER!"

Freddie laughed, I laughed, Dave laughed, Chris laughed... not quite as much as we did...

They weren't stealing Chris's paper to mess with him - they were out of toilet paper!  Often!  And too negligent to buy more!

And what does Chris Cochran, this...  oh, this SHINING example of nicotine-stained vodka-soaked Love...  what does this AMAZING man do?

HE GIVES THEM TOILET PAPER.

AND NOT A SMALL AMOUNT OF IT.

That is awesome.  This dude rules at life.

Let me drop some more truth on you.  Here's the contents of a text message conversation between myself and Chris:

Me - "Just F your I...  Corwin and I will be rolling in late tomorrow night."

Chris - "Yeah since it seems there was some miscommunication, I'm already in vermont..."

Me - "When do you get back?"

Chris - "Not till after you leave I'd guess.  Next thursday."

Me - "Well...  Shit.  We still love you.  October?  Or are you coming to Frank Turner?"

Chris - "We will see.   Money is tight with loan payments."

Me - "I hear you."

Chris - "Life is life.  Make sure my boys give you the treatment you deserve and I'll repay them."

Chris (six minutes later) - "Cause I'll be damned if my missionaries don't get their vacation."

IS THAT A DUDE, OR IS THAT A DUDE?

Chris Cochran introduced me to Frank Turner.  Chris Cochran is a dude that loves the music of Frank Turner.  You should listen to Frank Turner.  Frank Turner is playing in Dallas in early October.  I know Chris Cochran well enough to know pretty well where seeing Frank Turner live in concert ranks on his list of life priorities.  The dude does not know if he will make it to see Frank Turner.

But look at the NEXT THING HE SAYS!!!  THE VERY NEXT THOUGHT HE COMMUNICATES!!!

The dude is not even going to be in town when we visit and he insists that our desires are met at his expense.

The guy is in some straits with the money, on a different side of the country from us, not even gonna maybe get to catch us KINDA, and he will not hear of me and Corwin going without.

My GOODNESS, what a dude that is.

I know some generous folks.  I have been crazy blessed by the people in my life here in Arlington, and a lot of those people are definitely on the list of reasons why I can say with absolute surety and certainty that God has called me to work here.

But even still, I wish everybody could see the insane GOODNESS in a dude like Chris Cochran, and be more like THAT.

He's not gonna call me a liar for saying that he spent a good part of his recent years as an angry little man who drank a lot of his problems into temporary submission, and then when the drinking caused problems, he drank those problems into submission as well.

But that's all past-tense, folks.

God has moved in this man.  God has accomplished wonders with his life.  God has BLESSED him.

The dude would not only give you the shirt off his back, he'd give me three shirts off of his floor to sew together into something I could maybe wear.

That guy?  With all the different cigarettes and the crankiness and the iron liver?  He is absolutely one of the most loving dudes I have ever met, and I pray that I can be more like him as he tries to be more like Christ.