What does it feel like to be Earl Bingham?

Earl Bingham chews toothpicks by the handful and spits out scale replicas of the Alamo.

Earl Bingham, able harming, heal am bring.

Earl Bingham met his wife, Connie, when he rescued her from the clutches of Shanghai crime boss Lao Che, only to find theirselves and their 11-year-old comic relief Short Round embroiled in adventure with the the evil high priest Mola Ram and his Thuggee cult at Pankot Palace.

If you place a phonograph needle into the groove of Earl Bingham's right-hand thumbprint, you will hear a stereo recording of AC/DC's 1978 album Powerage.

Earl Bingham meets all state and federal standards.

Earl Bingham once ate a grilled cheese sandwich made with bread from all the wheat produced by the state of North Dakota and all the cheese produced by the state of Wisconsin in one year.  Earl finished the sandwich in four days.

Earl Bingham does NOT choose Pikachu.

Earl Bingham wins carnival games on his first attempt.

Earl Bingham convinced the Artist (then) formerly (and once again) known as Prince that the "symbol idea had gone on long enough, and really, bud, it was just silly to begin with."

Earl Bingham knows, at all times, the exact location of his car keys.  In 1984, a group of scientists from MIT tested the extent of Earl's abilities by making five copies of his keys, and shipping each key to a different continent.  Earl, after a week of sensory deprivation and mild sedation, could provide details of each key's location, from latitude and longitude in exact degrees, minutes, and seconds to the color of the couch cushion they were under.

Earl Bingham is the secret president.

Earl Bingham can detect 10W-30 motor oil at one part per billion from a distance of 10 miles.

Earl Bingham was the first person to ever say, "See you later, alligator."

But more importantly, Earl Bingham replaced my alternator and bought me dinner yesterday.

What does it feel like to be holy?  God calls us to holiness.  God never said "Be moral, as I am moral."  He wants us to be holy.  But what is holiness like?  How do we know it when we get there?

I often struggle with the difference between doing "the right thing" and "not the worst thing."  I have no shortage of personal shortcomings, and most of my closest friends will be the quickest to list them for you (or me, as the case may be).  But I really do at least try to make choices that are motivated by Love for God and Love for Others.

There is no bigger obstacle to my pursuit of holiness than myself.  I find that it is downright difficult to quit an addiction to the self.  I find it even harder to actually recognize selfishness in all its true forms.

Is it selfish for me to rack up a $80 bar tab when Corwin and I are sharing what extremely little funds we have?  Yes, absolutely.  That one's easy.  (I have not done this.)

Is it selfish for me to insist that I'm the right guy, even when another has very definitely been chosen?  Ummm...  Let me get back to you on that...  I need some more time to sulk and pout.  (How am I NOT the right guy?  I turned her on to the Beatles, for cryin' out loud...  Starting with Revolver, no less!  That is a matter of COSMIC import!  And yet I am somehow NOT the guy?)

What's the holy way to handle that?

Is it holy to go out of your way to help a dude out by replacing his alternator?  Oh, goodness...  I certainly think so...  Throw a couple burgers and a big ol' Coke on top of it...  Mercy.  I'm ready to make the man a saint.

Like I said - we're not called to be moral, we're called to be holy.  If we were called to be moral, it'd be a whole lot easier.  Just "not being bad" is a lot easier than proactively being so good I exhibit the goodness that can only come from God.

There is an enormous difference between improving the situation and just keeping it from getting worse.  I would like to be improving the world's situation with every step I take.

Earl Bingham definitely made my life a whole lot easier yesterday with a one-two punch of bein' an awesome dude.  Dinner AND reliable transportation?  The man fed me AND fixed my car?

Goodness.  Holiness, even.

I want to be less of myself.  I want to be less of the arrogant, lustful, greedy, lazy, pessimistic, hopeless, angry, manipulative, sad-sack of a man that I am when I just let myself be myself.  I want to be more like Earl Bingham.  Dude fixed my car and then iced that cake with cheeseburgers.

I want to make people's lives better.  I want to be a blessing, not a curse.  I want to show everybody the Love that I have been shown.

I just want to be holy.