Rules of Engagement #4 - Eating Meat (and the Eternal Consequences Thereof)

So this "Rules of Engagement" thing... I've been trying to focus on things that I at least know that I personally need to put into better practice when it comes to trying to reach out to the lost and bring them closer to God's vision for their lives.

In the first part, I talked about how it's important to actually stick to the discussion at hand. If someone asks me about my belief in God and the first answer I give them is just that God doesn't like them, then I'm probably not going to be the most effective champion for the cause of Christ.

In the second part, I talked about how it's important that we all understand that my sins, your sins, his sins, her sins, their sins... it's all the same. Once we understand that all of us have committed the exact same infractions against God and are definitely all worthy of the exact same punishment, it's a lot easier to think about everybody getting into the exact same grace and the exact same Love.

In the third part, I talked about how it's important that we all really grasp the idea that it's OK if somebody's Christianity is a little different from ours. For starters, it's not my responsibility to make sure someone else's faith is perfect - that decision is ultimately their own, as is mine when it comes to my own faith. Beyond that, Jesus says in Luke 9:50 that "...whoever is not against you is for you," and I think it'd be a good idea to remember that.

So here in this 4th (and final) part, I want to actually lay down what I've been building towards, built on all three of those things before it. So get your head ready, because I'm actually very scared of what I'm about to say, and I realize that it's a fearful topic for a lot of other people, too.

Let's start off with a story.

Just a hair over 9 years ago now, I threw a shindig at a family friend's house with some friends to celebrate the end of the school year. I was grilling hamburgers and we were all going to watch a movie. The movie we wound up watching was Tombstone. If you've never seen Tombstone... oh, you poor soul. It's a fantastic movie. It's a fairly historically accurate account of the events that led up to and came after the infamous shootout at the OK Corral, with Kurt Russel as Wyatt Earp, Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, Sam Elliott as Virgil Earp, and Sam Elliott's Mustache as Executive Producer.

Oh, and it's rated R. That's important here.

It's not porn or anything - it's a cowboy movie. People shoot each other. The bad guys are REALLY bad. Cuss words a'plenty.

And yeah, it's totally one of my favorite movies.

So we're watching Tombstone for this thing, and I told everybody who was coming well in advance that we were watching Tombstone. I hold the friends from my freshman year in college very dear to my heart, but some of them just were not the kinds of folks who'd dig on a cowboy movie, so I wanted to give them all a chance to bow out gracefully if that was going to be a problem for them.

One friend of mine took me up on that offer, except for the gracefully bowing out part. She informed me that she wouldn't watch any movie that's rated R. I told her that Tombstone is, in fact, rated R, so it looked like she wouldn't be watching the movie, then, didn't it?

The night of the cookout rolled around and we'd all enjoyed my - quite frankly - awesome burger skills and sat down to watch the movie. The girl who'd objected to an R-rated movie was still with us at this point, but another friend was not staying for the movie and offered to give her a ride home. She declined, said she'd stay, and we started watching the movie.

Tombstone does not start off gently. Less than 10 minutes into the movie, there's already been a shootout where something like 10 Mexican police officers are killed at a wedding, a priest is killed, and the bride - kicking and screaming - is dragged off-camera by the bad guys. There's not really any question that these are the bad guys for the movie.

But as soon as the shootout started, Monica (not her real name, I just got tired of vague pronoun usage) let out this loud gasp of shocked protest and said, "Are they killing those people?!?"

Wait, what? Yes! Of course they're killing them. They're the bad guys.

"Well, I just can't believe we're watching this."

At this point, Monica's roommate realized she needed to leave and offered Monica a ride back to campus. Monica refused, decided to stay.

A little later in the movie, when we're introduced to Doc, Monica let out her indignant gasp of moral outrage once again and blurted out "SHE'S NAKED!"

Alright, look... The first time I saw Tombstone, I was maybe 13 or 14 years old. I'd already seen it a thousand times by the time I got to college. Believe me, if there was a naked "she" anywhere in that movie, I'd have picked up on it. But right now, I was looking at Val Kilmer, who is most definitely neither a she nor naked. So I asked what on earth Monica was talking about.

"The painting! Behind him! On the wall! She's naked! I can't believe we're watching this movie!"

Wait... WHAT? The painting? You're upset about the painting? It's not like it's erotic in any way whatsoever... It's just a kind of Renaissance-y painting with a naked lady draped out under a fruit tree and chubby little baby angels floating around... whatever. And for all the times I'd seen the movie, I'd actually never noticed it until Monica pointed it out.

So my buddy Matt offered to leave the movie (which was pretty chivalrous of him, considering he loves Tombstone as much as I do) just to give Monica a ride back to her dorm. We were barely 30 minutes into the movie and it only gets more violent from that point. Monica, once again, refused the ride and chose to stay.

We finished the movie in relative silence. Monica didn't say anything else, but she did gasp indignantly and glare at me every time somebody used profanity or got shot. So there was a lot of gasping and glaring, but she didn't say anything else...

But the next day... Oh, goodness. I still look back on the event with a whole lot of incredulity, but in the middle of it, I was just flat out FLOORED with confusion. See, what happened was after we got through with the movie and went on back to campus, apparently, I was painted up to be the villain of the century because I showed Monica this movie.

Now... I'm not looking for absolution, I'm not looking for anybody to take my side, I'm not looking to be proven right... Largely because I already know that wasn't my fault. At all. I did nothing wrong in that... with the possible exception of even inviting Monica in the first place.

One of the other guys that had come to the cookout actually told me, "I can't believe you showed her that movie. She's the weaker Christian, Aaron, and you caused her to stumble."

What? Seriously?

She knew before we even got there that the movie was rated R. She was given a chance to leave before the movie started and two other chances to leave during the movie, yet she stayed parked right there on that couch, shooting daggers at me from her eyes and voicing her disapproval every time somebody pulled a trigger.

And it's my fault?

"Why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience?" - from I Corinthians 10:29

Lest you think this whole post is just to defend my actions at a cookout 9 years ago, here's where I'm going with all this and why it applies to me and you today.

In issues of conscience where the "weaker" Christian is unsettled, offended, whatever'ed by the actions of the "stronger" Christian, it is the responsibility of the "stronger" Christian to be sure that his or her influence does not cause the "weaker" Christian to stumble.

BUT.

It is also the responsibility of the "weaker" Christian to realize that his or her own personal moral code is not applicable to anyone else, Christian or not.

"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God — even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

- I Corinthians 10:23-24, 31-33

Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written:

" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,

'every knee will bow before me;

every tongue will confess to God.' " So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food [footnote: nothing] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

- Romans 14, emphases added

There are some things in life that I quite frankly just really enjoy. Man, they're nice. Dig 'em. Some folks, however, are not quite so big on those things. In fact, for some folks, some of the things I enjoy doing might be a sin.

I understand - fully - that it is my responsibility as a Christian who has the maturity and clarity of mind to enjoy those things responsibly (in regards to my responsibility towards God as well as to my brothers and sisters in Christ, strong or weak) to make sure that my influence is not spread in such a way that, through exercising my freedoms to do these things, I cause another to stumble.

But where I think a lot of people kinda glaze over and stop paying attention is the part where it's the responsibility of the "weaker" Christian to realize that he or she is "weak" when it comes to a particular issue and just know to not do it.

Just to get rid of the vague "thing" issue while at the same time keeping the integrity of my example to other Christians intact, let's put an example on this that could not possibly cause anyone to stumble one direction or the other. Let us assume, then, that driving a 1992 red and gray Ford F-150 is a questionable moral issue for some people. (Hey, guess what! That's my truck!)

Now... In knowing that driving my truck causes some people to stumble, I will take precautions to avoid that happening. For instance, if my truck drove people to sin, I wouldn't drive my truck to church. I'd take a different car, I'd hitch a ride, I'd walk... But I wouldn't take my truck.

The thing is, though... It's still my truck. I still really like driving my truck. I know that I can drive my truck and still live my life completely focused on a pursuit of the Kingdom of Heaven. Me driving my truck does not get in the way of my walk with God. (In fact, it lets me go further faster.)

So let's say I'm in my truck, just tearing around the back roads by the house. I'm not out where people are going to see me unless they come looking. (Seriously - it's some pretty country out here, and you can go for miles and miles and miles without ever seeing another car, if you go to the right places. I go to these places regularly.)

That's all between me, God, and the gas pump. As far as God is concerned, yeah, driving my truck is A-OK, so long as I do my part to keep someone from stumbling.

But if you come to my house and see my truck sitting in the driveway, it looks kinda bad if you just immediately start smashing up the windows, busting the headlights, cutting my brake lines, pouring sugar in the gas tank...

It's my truck. I'm the one driving it. I'm the one with the keys.

My truck has nothing to do with your spirituality.

If you think that your driving of my truck is a sin, don't ask me for the keys.

Man, I really hope this is still making sense.

The responsibility of the "stronger" Christian is to remove any possible stumbling block in the path of the "weaker" Christian. But it is the responsibility of the "weaker" Christian to grow stronger and understand that there are some things out there that might not actually be sins for everyone, even if it is a sin for me or you.

Jesus turned water into wine. The host of the feast said, "THIS IS REALLY AWESOME WINE!" Grape juice is not really awesome wine. Really awesome wine has alcohol in it. Really awesome wine has the potential to get you drunk if you misuse it. Therefore I have absolutely no qualms about saying that yes, I believe it is possible for a perfectly strong Christian to drink alcohol and still be close to God. Jesus Himself drank enough that the Pharisees used His party-guy demeanor as an accusation against Him and the Apostles more than once (Luke 5, Luke 7, lots of other spots).

If you don't think it's OK for you to drink, hey, that's cool. Don't.

If you don't think it's OK for you to watch R-rated movies, right on. Don't.

If you don't think it's OK for you to drive a 1992 red and gray Ford F-150, that's your thing. Don't.

But even as much as it is the responsibility of the guy who can drink, watch an R-rated movie, and drive a 1992 red and gray Ford F-150 (not all at the same time, of course...) to not put the stumbling block in the path of the one who cannot do those things in clear conscience, every bit of the same burden is laid on the one who cannot do those things to not judge those who can.

When we are trying to bring people in from The World to The Father, we're encountering them as people with a set code of morality that may not actually have anything to do with Biblical foundations whatsoever. And that's OK. God can use that. God can reach those people. God can get into their hearts and their minds and their souls and show them that He really is the point of everything. He can rewire them to be absolutely charged up with the energy of the Holy Spirit and set them on a path that brings them closer to Him, and pulling other people along as they go.

But when He does that, He might not do it the same way He did it with you.

There are going to be things that other Christians, both young and old in their faith, do that you can't, because it would be a violation of your conscience.

That's OK.

Don't do those things, and don't judge them for doing them.

We don't have to try to get to the point where we're strong enough to do those things. It's OK for me to believe that I should not do certain things that cause me to stumble. But there's nothing at all in Scripture that says it is my responsibility to get other people to stop doing things that they can handle with perfect maturity and clarity of mind... just because I am the one who can't handle it.

So go ahead. Do what you want. If you're living a life focused on God, what you want to do will change anyway.

But remember - and this part is actually really scary for a lot of people... It is ultimately your own choice what you do. If you choose to look to me as the "stronger" example, you just may see me doing some things that you don't like, some things that you can't handle. My influence over you is not totalitarian. You still have your own free will independent of my actions, good or bad. Know your conscience. Know the Spirit. Know the Bible. Don't violate any of those and you're good... no matter what you're doing.