Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Is Crazy Really That Bad?

So... I really think it's at least a decent possibility that I might actually have gone completely crazy...

Because... uhh... God talks to me.

Yeah, I know. It's nuts.

But seriously, it's also incredibly awesome.

I don't really know where to go from there. It's not like you can just tell most folks "Oh, hey, my name is Aaron, and God talks to me," and then expect the conversation to really get much more interesting than that.

I know it sounds crazy. Believe it or not, it feels crazy. But really, there's no other way I can possibly describe what's going on other than that God is talking to me.

I don't really know what this is. I think, believe and feel that it's the Holy Spirit working in me in a way that a lot of us aren't really predisposed to believe happens anymore. I've been reading my Bible, I've been sharing what I'm going through with close friends, I've been praying non-stop... I'm really trying to make sure I'm hearing what I'm hearing, because if I'm just making it all up and calling it God on my own, then... well... I guess I'm crazy.

But really, is this kind of crazy so bad?

Everybody thought Noah was crazy.

I'm sure the same can be said of Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Samuel, David, Elijah, Elisha, Daniel... Or what about John the Baptist, Peter, Paul, John the Revelator, Philip, Stephen... or even Jesus Himself?

I don't want to sound like I think I'm on par with any of those guys.

But I do know that we all worship the same God.

So why can't my God work the same miracles today that He worked back then?

More to the point, I guess... Instead of why can't He... Why wouldn't He?

Let me make this super clear here: yes, I am really saying that I really think that God is delivering personal messages directly to me. I don't hear a voice from the clouds, I just know that He's talking to me.

Part of why I know He's talking to me is that I'm not the only person He's talking to, nor am I part of some exclusive group.

I have friends who are on this wavelength - we're seeing the same stuff and it's kinda scary all around. We all want the same thing - to know God as deeply as we can - but there is just so much of today's world that has told us that God retired. There are so many in the world - in Christianity - who feel that God, for some vaguely defined reason, stopped working the same miracles as He once did in the Bible, and as I understand it, that's got something to do with the Bible itself existing. Since we have the Bible, God doesn't pull out the fireworks anymore.

Well... I have a counter-theory.

What if God didn't stop working the miracles at all? What if the only reason we ever stopped seeing God doing awesome stuff - like no-possible-explanation-for-this-except-God stuff - is because we stopped looking?

What if we don't see miracles because we don't think they're out there?

The Bible is pretty consistent in getting out the point that if you are genuinely looking for God, He'll show Himself to you.

So... score another one for the Bible being awesome...

Another part of what lets me know that this - whatever this is - is from God is that it doesn't contradict the Bible. In fact, everything I'm reading in the Bible makes me think that this is exactly what the Bible is talking about.

Is the fruit of the Spirit in your life because you chose to be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled?

Or has the Holy Spirit borne that fruit in your life, changing you to be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled?

I don't know about you, but I know that - for myself - it's the latter. I am a better person because God came into my life in such an unbelievably huge way. And I think "unbelievably" might be a pretty big word there.

Just how unbelievable is it for you that God talks to me? Just how unbelievable is it for you that God changed me? Just how unbelievable is it for you that He wants to do the same with you?

Just how alive is God for you?

Do you believe that He did all that crazy miracle stuff?

Or do you believe that He does all that crazy miracle stuff?

I don't want to claim anything special or unique here - it's not. The salvation of Jesus Christ is not unique to me. The Bible is not my own little special secret book. This is open for everyone. Every single person on this planet can get here if they choose to do so.

I really hope you will choose to do so, because trust me, it's awesome out here. Yeah, it's... it's weird at times. It's scary sometimes. Above all, it's enough to make a guy really question himself as well as his faith, but so far, the answer to all of the questions has consistently been GOD, in gigantic impossible-to-miss ways.

If God isn't talking to me, whatever it is that is talking to me - my own crazy mind or some other force unknown - is certainly telling me a whole lot about some really awesome stuff going down.

If God isn't talking to me, I have sent those letters and made those phone calls and seen those people and had those conversations that have ultimately ended up in somebody seeing God in a huge, huge, huge way - whether it's me or the people I'm talking to or even all of us... And it doesn't make a lot of sense for anything except God to be doing that.

If God isn't talking to me, then I have somehow found the exact right mental instability, because it has made me nicer, kinder, more patient, more joyous, more loving... It's made me a better man, being this crazy.

If this is crazy, it is an awesome crazy, and I really hope you get it.

I don't know - you might already be here. Maybe we just haven't talked about it. But one thing that I've found is that when you meet somebody else who is here, you know. Pretty much right away. As soon as God comes up - which is very quickly - you just know that you're talking to someone else who is seeing the same thing as you, and it's earth-shattering. It's SO big.

So very big.

And it's everywhere.

And it's all the time.

And it's real.

It's unmistakable. It's unavoidable. It's undeniable.

It's God.

But what if I'm just seeing what I want to see?

Well, since what I want to see is God in the first place... How is that bad?

And didn't Jesus in fact tell us that if we want to see God, that we would?

Isn't that the whole point of the ask-seek-knock deal? Ask and you'll receive, seek and you'll find, knock and the door will be opened to you? Isn't that a promise from Jesus Himself?

But it sounds so crazy. God talks to me? Really? That's what the homeless guy on the sidewalk in front of the Walgreens said, too.

Well... Yeah... But like I said... People thought Noah was crazy. People thought Peter and the other apostles were drunk on Pentecost. In I Corinthians 14, Paul tells the Corinthians that when they're actually displaying their spiritual gifts, non-believers are just going to be confused and think that they're all crazy people.

So again... Is crazy really that bad?

Call me crazy if you must. I'll take it.

But I think God and I are going to some pretty amazing places with the crazy. So I'm definitely along for the ride.

Get on board with me. See where it goes. I promise you'll like it.

If you're already on board... Can't wait to see where we wind up together.

But either way... Let's talk about it.

2 comments:

  1. While I'm not sure where I am on this issue, I'm fairly positive God had me read this. This specific entry. I've skimmed the others, I'm not gonna lie. But I felt the need to read this through, and as soon as I started I realized why.

    My husband and I are having serious faith issues. I'm struggling to attend services regularly, and as such I'm not as strong as I used to be. But I still believe God is all-powerful and all-knowing, and I [try to] trust in him completely. Andrew... is a different story.

    He was raised in a Pentecostal/Assembly of God/non-denominational church setting. He's used to the charismatic ways of those churches, and believes he spoke in tongues once [I say 'believes' because I wasn't there and am still trying to figure out just what happened, for my own personal spirituality]. When we started dating and I talked about baptism with him, he at first dismissed the idea. Then he went to church with me about 9 months into our relationship, heard the *right* sermon and saw baptism in black and white, and got baptized.

    But since then he's confused about how the church of Christ views the Holy Spirit and miracles, and why we're so "boring". He doesn't want to be a part of something so droll. This all came up last night, after months of us not really talking about Christianity; just me struggling to attend at least once a week, and him staying home. We had talked about it before, but it's been a long time.

    The fact that your post about this comes just *hours* after we had this discussion and I asked my Nana to pray about this, and I prayed about it, cannot be coincidence. I'm gonna send it to him and have him read it, just to see how he reacts.

    I've got lots of studying to do. I know I'm not the best Christian I can be, and I know that I should do better for both myself and Andrew. As for the "God speaks to me" thing... I dunno. There have definitely been times in my life where an abstract feeling came over me, and I went where it seemed to tell me. There were no words spoken, just a feeling of, "This is what should be done," and it made me feel better to do it. Is that what you mean, or are feeling? Or is it more direct, more substantial?

    Thanks so much for posting this, Aaron. I wish you only the best in life, and hope we *can* talk about this... in a week, when you're finished in California :)

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  2. Hey, Brianne. So good to hear from you, especially on such an important thing!

    Never underestimate God's timing. Part of what has led me to see His work in my life with such clarity is that I finally stopped just thinking that all of the amazing coincidences in my life were just amazing coincidences and started realizing that maybe - juuuuuuuuust maybe - God was actually moving things around to try and grab my attention.

    So to answer your question... Is it just a feeling? Is it more direct than that?

    Well... Have you seen Inception yet?

    Because it's a lot like that.

    It's an idea that comes to me with absolutely no genesis in my own self. For instance, there's a girl I hold very dearly to my heart. One day I felt like I needed to write her a quick little note to let her know that God loves her, cares for her, and wants to know her, despite the pretty deep-seated negative view she had of herself.

    Now... I was - still am - pretty crazy about this girl. She's... pretty awesome. And at the time, she was dating another guy. So when I got that idea, I just ignored it, not wanting to overstep my boundaries or make her uncomfortable.

    But the next day, I got that idea a little more forcefully shoved into my head - "You really need to write her." Again, I ignored it, shoved it down.

    It went on like that for a few days, and it finally got to the point where I couldn't sleep unless I wrote that message to her. As soon as I sent it, I felt better, but I also felt terrible. I was SO scared that I had crossed all sorts of lines, just up and ruined a friendship that I really value.

    When I woke up the next morning, the very first thing I saw was her reply, which opened with, "I needed this, Aaron, and I don't know how you knew it."

    Well... I don't know how I knew it, either. I just knew that it needed to happen.

    Just like I knew I needed to talk to that little old guy next to me on the flight from LA to San Francisco last week.

    Just like I knew I needed to at least GO to California.

    Just like I knew I needed to go to Waffle House at midnight and wind up reaching out to a buddy of mine who wasn't even at the WaHo with me - but because I went out, I was up to talk to him and do some serious work in him, holding a deep conversation about who God is.

    Sometimes it's big. Sometimes it's small.

    I always try to take a minute and make sure, "OK, is this me? Or is this God?" I John 4:1 encourages us to "test the spirits." I think the only way we can do that today is the same way they did it then - pray, study, pray, study, pray, study, and then pray and study.

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