John the Baptist had not yet been dead for a full day.
The crowds wouldn't leave Jesus alone, even in His grief for His cousin, but He felt love for them anyway and healed their sick. As the night grew closer, He fed them all - over five thousand people - with five loaves of bread and two fish.
Once it was dark, though, Jesus told the Twelve to get out into the boat and wait for Him. After He sent the crowds home, He retreated up to the side of the mountain to pray.
The wind on the sea was fierce, and the disciples were already uneasy when they saw the impossible: there was a figure walking towards the boat, right in the middle of the water, miles from the shoreline.
"What IS that? Is that... Is that a person?"
"No way, man... There's just no way. Whatever it is, it's not human. There is no way that's a person. It's gotta be a ghost, man... That is just not possible!"
Jesus shouted out, "Hey, guys! Cool it. It's Me, don't worry."
Peter recognized the Lord's voice and leaned over the bow to get a better glimpse through the wind and the rain and the rocking of the boat. "Jesus? Oh, wow... Jesus, if that's you... If it's you, Lord, tell me to get out to you in the water."
"Well..." replied Jesus. "What are you waiting for? Come on!"
Peter's heart was pounding in his ears as he climbed over the side of the boat and touched down in the water. Tears were streaming down his face, tears of exuberant joy, mixed with the spray of the saltwater and the grime of the day's travels. He was getting closer. He was almost standing right next to the Master! The Teacher! The Lord! He was right there!
And that's when Peter noticed the chill of the wind blowing through his clothes. That's when he noticed the fury of the lightning. That's when he realized just how far he was from the boat.
And then he felt the water splash up over his head as he floundered into the sea. Gasping for air and flailing his arms in a struggle to stay afloat in his heavy wool tunic, Peter managed to choke out a simple cry for help; "Jesus! Please, help me! Save me, Lord, please!"
Jesus, standing as tranquil as He had appeared when the disciples first spotted Him walking out across the deep, dark blue expanse, reached out His arm, clasped Peter's hand, and pulled him up. When Peter had caught his breath and wiped all the water out of his eyes, he cast a sheepish glance at Jesus, who smiled softly.
"Peter... What were you afraid of? You knew it was Me! You asked Me to call you out into the water! You wanted to come out to Me! So what in the world were you afraid of? Did you think I couldn't handle it? Haven't you already seen Me raise the dead, heal the sick, let the lame walk, the blind see, the deaf hear, and the mute speak? Haven't you seen demons tremble at my coming? Didn't you just see Me feed over five thousand people? Peter... That was TODAY! What on earth were you afraid of?
"Peter... What did you think was going to happen to you? I was right there! You could see me! You were close enough to touch me! What did you think could possibly happen to you? Where was your faith? You trusted Me enough to leave everything you had and follow Me, what's stopping you from trusting Me now? The wind was already up when you got out of the boat. Nothing changed when you got out and came to Me.
"Peter... Don't you know who I Am yet?"
As Peter looked in His eyes and listened, the boat drew near. Jesus helped Peter climb into the boat and then followed him up. On deck, the disciples were gathered around, gazing in wide-eyed wonder and amazement at Peter and the Rabbi.
It was Peter who first fell to his knees and said, "You are, without a doubt, the Son of God."
- Matthew 14:22-33 (AJRV)
I get Peter.
I can really relate to his whole story here. I get where he's coming from, because I've been in the same place.
I've caught that first glimpse of Jesus, way off in the distance, way out where things stop making sense, and I said, "Hey! If you want me, I'll come out there, You just gotta let me know!"
And so He let me know.
So I jumped out of the boat and started running where I did not think I could even stand. I ran with all my heart, focused solely on the One who called me out to Him, and He helped me do the impossible. He brought me out to Him, carried me to where He is, showed me what He sees... And it was wonderful.
But then... but then...
But then I started noticing everything. I started noticing how far out I really was. I started noticing how hard it can be living a life wholly focused on God - hard because the World is dedicated to dragging me down to its level, completely committed to getting me dirty again so I fit in.
And that's when I fell. That's when I lost my footing and went under. That's when my faith was shaken - when I stopped focusing on Him.
And that's when He pulled me up, dusted me off, and said...
"Hey. What were you worried about? What did you possibly think was going to happen to you? Haven't I already brought you through more stuff than you thought you could ever survive in the first place? Haven't I shown you more of Myself in ways you never thought you could ever understand? Haven't I been here with you for every step?
"What were you worried about? You could see Me! You could hear Me! You could touch Me! You were so close to Me, and then you got worried... About what? About money? About time? About the future? About the past? What was it? What was it that could possibly have taken your focus off of Me? What is there worth worrying about?
"Don't you know that I love you? Don't you know that I'm never going to give up on you? Don't you know who I AM?"
I want to trust God, because I sure know that I can't trust myself all that much.
I'm forgetful. He's not.
I'm easily distracted. He's not.
I'm weak and powerless. He, most certainly, is not.
And so I find myself once again standing out in the water, and I'll admit, it's up over my ankles and occasionally splashing up to my knees. I'm scared, I don't know what I'm being called to do, and I'm really not too thrilled about a lot of the challenges that are coming my way no matter what I do.
But I am standing. Not on my own strength, but on His. My faith is completely in Him, as completely as He holds my life.
Come on out here with me. The water's nice.
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