A Thought for Wes

I didn't know Wes very well - for most of my summer in Birmingham as his youth minister, he had been away from home, working as a camp counselor - but I knew him well enough to know that he was a good kid.

I don't know what led him to take his own life, and I probably never will. There's no doubt that he was dealing with things beyond my comprehension - Crohn's disease, for starters - but within the space of the commonalities of human existence, I know that he couldn't have been that far beyond somebody's reach, even if he was well out of my own.

I'm not here to debate the ethical or eternal questions of suicide. What I want to talk about - well, what I really wish I didn't have to talk about in the first place but at least want to address - is the kind of lifestyle that we're living that still allows seniors in high school to get to a point where they feel that the only way out is to take their own lives.

Please understand here that I am not blaming anyone for Wes's choice - that choice was his own. But maybe we're all kind of at fault for letting the world get to a point where that choice seems like a good one.

We've become so caught up in this sort of sterile approach to Christ's teaching where we insist that we Love everyone around us as much as we Love ourselves, but we refuse to show that Love in the most important way possible - by actually encountering them in a way that changes their lives.

For whatever reason, we're scared of opening ourselves up too much to those around us. We're absolutely terrified of letting them see our own pain, our own mistakes, our own fears, our own weaknesses, our own hesitations, our own doubts, our own unbearable horrors of existence... We can't let people know that we're every bit as screwed up as they are, because when they see that, our shine starts to dim, our lustre starts to fade, our untarnished reputation becomes stained...

Look, I ain't gonna lie to you - I've been in some pretty dark holes, and I've certainly contemplated suicide more than once. Stuff sucked! Sorry if that makes me out to be some horrible person in your mind because I've entertained the thought of killing myself, but hey, I've been considered worse for less, so I guess I can take it.

But having been in that hole, having experienced that darkness, having spent the late nights crying my eyes out until there just weren't any tears left, I can tell you this - the thing that saved my life, the reason I'm still here with you today, was the presence of a friend.

A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

- Proverbs 18:24

I'm sorry if this is gonna wreck your theology or something, but that verse ain't talkin' about Jesus. It's talking about Robin, Matt, Corwin, Jessie, Megan, Jeremy, Kelsey, Ben, Will, Angela, and all of the other friends I've been blessed with throughout my life who have made such a huge impact on me that I can without question say that my life is not the same since having met them. I can honestly say that I am a better man for knowing them. I can honestly say that I am alive today because those friends gave me the strength and encouragement to carry on even in the face of the most miserable life experiences I've known to date, and I am fully expectant that they will continue to be there for me in the future, because I'm pretty dang sure I've still got a lot of junk to go through before I'm done down here.

We tell people to take comfort in God's presence, and that's certainly a worthwhile thing to say, but do we ever stop to think that maybe OUR presence is the presence God wants to use to comfort them? Do we ever stop to think that maybe all we have to do to literally SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE is offer a genuine smile at the sight of a friend, a warm hug for the journey, and an encouraging word for the weary soul?

Maybe part of this whole "being a Christian" thing is just about getting involved in each other's lives to the point that we know each other's weaknesses and struggles, we know each other's pain, we know each other's fears, we know the things that keep each other awake at night... and we Love on through those things. Maybe it's about humbling ourselves to the point that we do not consider our own lives anything worth treasuring but instead sacrifice ourselves in the spirit of Christ's Love for all of humanity and seek out not our own good or our own comfort or our own happiness but instead make our primary focus in this life the betterment of all mankind outside of our own bodies.

Wes was a good kid. Nothing will change that. He made a mistake, but he was a sincerely good young man. When I see him again - and I'm entirely confident that I will - I'll give him the same hug that I can't wait to get from Jesus. But in the meantime, I'm gonna do my absolute best to make sure that none of you gets to Him before you're supposed to.

Reach out to people. Please. Jesus touched the untouchable, loved the unlovable, and pardoned the unpardonable. Maybe we ought to start doing the same thing.