Owning Up to Myself

I really miss comics.

I know it's just stuff, but it's still some of my favorite stuff. I haven't read Daredevil in so long it hurts. I try to keep up on at least some of the must-read favorites. I don't let too much of The Goon, Hellboy, or Invincible slip by without trying to at least read a copy at some point soon, even if that means pretending to drink coffee at Borders. And of course there's still all the online comics I read, like The Adventures of Dr. McNinja and Garfield Minus Garfield, both of which I am of course strongly recommending to you - it's why those words changed colors.

Of course, I realize that not everybody is into comics... for some reason quite unknown to me, at least.

I still get some sideways looks and curious remarks when I talk about certain comics around people. Sometimes it's not so bad, like when I mention the Scott Pilgrim series that inspired the movie that just came out a few months ago. Lots of folks don't know that's a comic, so they're just surprised to learn it. Sometimes it's a little worse, like when I get jittery and kinda agitated talking about the 1966 Adam West "Batman" TV show.

I'd say it's not too much of a stretch to say that comics were my idol at a few points in my life... Especially for a few years in college. And it's not that I loved comics more than I loved God, but I definitely loved comics more than I loved people. Not ALL people. There were some people I loved more than comics. There were a few I loved a LOT more than comics. But comics were the priority. (Still are, in a lot of ways - I just have no money.)

There's no way around it - I am a nerd.

And it's not just comics, although comics are definitely what push me over the edge into "nerdiest dude in the room" territory 90% of the time. I'm a nerd about movies, music, food... It's a pretty big deal.

For a long time, I tried to be more like the world was telling me I should be like - because trust me, if there's anything the world likes making fun of more than a fat nerdy guy, I sure haven't found out what it is.

It only took me 27 years to get here, but I think I'm actually to a point where I'm kinda OK with who I am.

I think I finally understand that maybe God has a reason for me to be the guy I am. I don't know if God inspired my dad to hand me that copy of Wolverine #21 all those years ago that started me on the path to undeniable nerdosity, but what if He did? What if there was a divine reason for me growing up soaked in superheroes and sci-fi? What if God purposefully directed my life so I would find hours of entertainment in Dungeons & Dragons or Magic: The Gathering?

What if God made me a nerd on purpose?

What if I'm the way I am because it helps me reach out to the people who don't get reached out to very often?

What if, in order to better spread the Gospel, I've not only been blessed with Biblical understanding, but also a deep understanding of the Avengers?

It's not impossible. I've definitely found myself in situations where the only reason I could talk to somebody was because we both liked the same comics. I've found myself in situations where I could talk to somebody because we didn't like any of the same comics. And I'm not saying it's an easy jump from Batman to Jesus Christ, but it's not too much of a stretch to go from talking about Batman to actually being friends and then actually connecting on a personal level deep enough that the work of Christ can begin in earnest in someone's life because I took the time to get to know them and show them God's Love for them the same way He's shown His Love for me.

We are all different parts of the body. The hand cannot say to the foot, "I have no need of you." But so, too, the hand cannot say to itself, "Well, I'm not a foot, so what good am I?"

There are a lot of things about me that are just weird. And for a long time I tried to change that. I tried to fit in more. I tried to be more charming. I tried to be more focused on the same things that everybody else was focused on....

And then I realized all of those things are very boring.

God put me where I am for a reason, and that reason is to bring others around me closer to Him. I've been paying a bit of attention to it lately, and I've come to realize that most of the people God puts in my path have a lot in common with me in at least one way - they've had a hard time fitting in with the mainstream, too. And that's why I can talk to them. I've been there. I am there. I know what it's like to be laughed at because of my hobbies. I know what it's like to get mad about it. But I also know what it's like to finally be OK with who I am and realize that even though I may not be the shiniest car on the lot, I can definitely go some places that others just can't.

And that's pretty awesome.

I've finally realized that I'm a nerd FOR GOD. From here, can I reach the whole world? Maybe not. But can I reach the guy in the park reading the latest issue of Daredevil? Well, it can't hurt to try.

Take the time to understand who you are FOR GOD. Look around yourself, understand yourself, and - with prayer and diligent study - try to see where God is asking you to be your brightest and best to show others His Glory. Let's all stop trying to be the same person and just focus on following the same Christ and bringing others with us.