I'm Sorry for Sounding Arrogant (but I'm going to anyway)

"We have a right to believe whatever we want, but not everything we believe is right." - Ravi Zacharias

So I have two stories to tell you. I'll start off with the one that I have been told makes me look like a jerk.

A few years back, when I was still living in the dorms at Harding, the video game X-Men Legends came out. Several of my friends had picked up a copy, and they all thought it was pretty righteous.

I'm not too much of a gamer, really. Don't get me wrong, there are a few that I enjoy thoroughly (StarCraft II is definitely addictive, and the Half-Life series is untouchable in awesome points), but it's not what I do. And at that point in my life, comics definitely where what I did. Seeing how the game was all about the X-Men and their villains, one of my friends asked for my opinion. I told him what I thought - it's easy enough to play and it's got a lot of neat little nods to the serious comic book fans without being inaccessible to regular gamers, but I'm not too crazy about some of the costume choices.

Having heard my answer, he agreed, and then came back with his reply: "I like it, but I just can't believe they've got the White Queen as one of the X-Men. How could they mess that up? She's a villain."

I have to defend myself a little bit here and say that this happened 6 years ago, and while I may not yet have mastered the art of tactful conversation, I was definitely still a novice then, so believe me, I know I sound like a jerk, but... bear with me.

"No, no, she's... yeah, no, she's a good guy now. She's the headmistress of the X-Men." (At least, that was true in 2004 - like I said last week, I'm a little behind on the comics these days.)

And then came his reply. And the thing is, I get it... but really, dude... everybody knows that Aaron J. Rushton is the super-duper comic book nerd, so why you even gonna do a thang?

"No," he insisted, "she's always been a bad guy. I've got the comic." It was with this cue that he pointed to the lone comic in his room.

The comic in question - a collected edition of Chris Claremont and John Byrne's seminal Uncanny X-Men storyline "The Dark Phoenix Saga" - definitely did contain a depiction of the White Queen as a villain, which she definitely was at the time. But the time was 1980, and since about 1994, she's been on the "good" side.

"Right, I understand that you have a comic from over 20 years ago in which she is a villain, but I have a comic from about 20 days ago in which she is a hero. She is a hero now."

But apparently that was arrogant of me to say. Somehow. I will grant that it is arrogant with the caveat that I don't really understand how, especially since I was right. And it's not even that I'm just right by default, it's that I have the stuff to back it up. Like, you know, reality... in a comic book... versus a video game...

OK, that one's getting embarrassing. Let's move on to the next story, which - I hope - doesn't make me look quite so bad...

When I was interning as a youth minister down in Alabama in the summer of 2009, there came a weekend in which I had some car trouble and the folks I was living with were going to be out of town, so I needed a ride to church come Sunday morning. It just so happened that a specific member of the church lived in the right part of town to pick me up on his way.

Once he picked me up, we pulled out of the driveway and he asked, "Which way do you go to get to the church?" I gave him my answer: "Left at the stop sign, up to 31-"

That's when I was interrupted with, "No, that won't work."

Wait, what? "How does that not work?"

"That takes you up to I-20. That's going the wrong way. We need to get on 459."

"No, I... yeah, I know it goes to I-20. That's the point. I-20 out to... ummm... you know... the church. It's like a mile before 20 and 459 intersect."

"No, that won't get us there."

"That's how I get to the church 9 times a week, man."

Now, while we were having this conversation, this dude was trying to navigate his way from my host family's home to the church. He asked me how to get there, I told him, and he said no. So now we're lost in Vestavia Hills, turning corners into dead-end drives and gated communities. This is when he decided to bust out the dash-mounted GPS.

Let me tell you, I am a great big believer in GPS navigation systems. Yes to those. Very yes. I could not have survived my summer in Birmingham without the GPS navigator in my phone. So I'm fully on board with the GPS-is-awesome idea. But I also know that it's still just technology, and all technology - just like the people who design and use it - is bound to fail at one point or another.

Apparently this was one point or another because this guy's GPS was just not hacking it. Every road we went down was supposed to be the one that led us to the interstate (the other one, not the one I was trying to get us on), but each one turned into a cul-de-sac, a golf course, a confused pack of dogs that had been following us through suburban Birmingham for the last 8 miles...

So that's when I grabbed my phone, punched in the church's address and boom, there it was, a list of neat and orderly directions for how to get to the church from where we were. (Included in the steps were directions to get on 31 and follow through to I-20, just FYI.)

I do not understand all of what it is to be arrogant, even though that is one of the most consistent things that I struggle with (as well as being one of the most consistent things that people feel like reminding me I need to work on, thank you so very much).

Was the White Queen a villain at one point? Yeah, definitely. But... I was still right. Not because I made the rules, but because things had changed and this guy didn't know about it.

Was getting to the church via I-20 the quickest way to get there? No, actually - it was about 2 miles and 3 minutes longer than shuffling on down to I-459, but it was easier for me to remember, so it became my default way to get to the church. It got me there, didn't it? So how - before even knowing where the rest of the directions went - could this guy tell me it was wrong? It worked, right?

Lately I've been really wrestling with the idea of arrogance, particularly my own. I've got no doubt at all that I am one arrogant cuss at times. I understand, fully, that pride is pretty much the worst thing. In fact, I firmly believe that all sin - all sin - is merely an extension of our own pride. We think - even if it is temporarily - that our will is more important than God's, so we act on our will instead of His. That's arrogance.

But is believing that I'm right arrogant?

Especially when it's not that I'm right because hey, after all, it's me... But because... well... ummm... because I'm right.

I must also admit here that I struggle with the concept of my "self-righteousness." I know it's very closely linked to my arrogance, but there's something specific about being labeled "self-righteous" that really irks me, and that is this: my righteousness has nothing to do with my self. It's not at all about me being righteous, it's about God's righteousness living in me, being shown through me, reaching the world despite me...

See, I don't have any of the answers on my own. I am straight up copying someone else on this test, because I know that I will fail it unless I get the right answers from someone else. (The someone else in this metaphor is Jesus.)

Now, do I know how to copy Jesus perfectly? No. Goodness, no. Am I trying my best? Definitely. Does that mean I'm right? Well... there's a reason people like to sit next to the smart kid in class. If you're trying to be right, it helps to copy the right answers.

And I say all of that to get to this.

Last week, I got a comment on the Owning Up to Myself post that I think is worth sharing.

Christopher Dos Santos said...

Okay here we go...

I normally would not reach out to one who is so religious. However your prime focus is the dedication to truth with a capital T. So here goes let us see if your mind is open.

You and your followers believe God created the universe. You see God as separate from yourself in judgment of your actions. of course the actual weighing is to be done by Saint Peter. This aside you believe in heaven and hell accepting your savior Lord Jesus Christ to bestow his benevolence upon your soul.

I do not believe in a God who created the universe. Instead I choose to believe in a God who became the universe. The distinction is significant as I do not worship God, saints, Jesus or anything. Instead I understand that I AM GOD, as are you. Jesus, in speaking with his disciples taught us that he, like us, are the divine essence of the ONE GOD.
Furthermore there is nothing in manifest reality which is NOT GOD. The tree, the planet, the universe, the dog, all IS GOD. Seeing the world through the lens of false ego we tend to believe we are the body. We are not the body, in fact the body only exists as a illusion. The reality we perceive as real is in fact much more akin to a fractal matrix of energy. We are consciousness, our being is eternal. We perceive time to exist therefore we are under the illusion of death. Death is not real, you will never die my brother because you were never born. You are GODSELF consciousness existing eternally in the moment of NOW.

My brother Aaron and followers, an open mind is like and open door it is very inviting. If you or your followers desire to debate religion, philosophy, science, health, reality, illusion or my favorite topic UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ONENESS then I am at your disposal.

www.godlymanifestation.blogspot.com

Namaste, my brethren, from a book of fear Jesus teaches unconditional love....

That was on the 1st of October. Yesterday, I got another comment:

Christopher Dos Santos said...

Truth with a capital T. No rebuttal, no discourse! Could it be truth with a sub case t? Or possibly only the truths you agree with? Open minds and open hearts working together. Jesus tells us
" Let only those with ears hear. "

In Lak' esh, my brother, with love

So, Christopher, if you're reading... This is for you, brother.

I am, as you said, interested in "truth with a capital T."

And while I appreciate your offer, I'm gonna stick with my Truth over here. In fact, I would encourage you to reconsider this Truth, as I happen to believe it to be the only one that actually deserves the capital-T treatment.

The Truth as I see it is that there is only one God. There is only one way to God, and that is through Jesus, the Messiah foretold to the Hebrews even from the time of Abraham.

Do I have a portion of God dwelling inside me? Oh, certainly, I believe I do. The Holy Spirit is a miraculous gift that guides me through the dark spots and helps me share the bright ones, and I believe it to be the Spirit of God Himself blessing me with His presence, His wisdom, His understanding, His peace... Yeah. I've got God inside.... But it's not because of who I am, it's because of who the I AM is.

I visited your website, Christopher, and I even read through to your first post, and... dude... I...

No. Just no, man.

Just no.

From that first post:

1. I AM GOD, everything is God, God is love. There is nothing else. 2. You will never die, time is only an illusion. 3. Past and future are functions of the ego, there is only the NOW. 4. All expressions are love; murder, rape, war, genocide, feeding the poor, comforting a friend, saving someone in peril, dancing under the stars, there is only love. 5. To value one expression as better or worse than another is to allow the ego to separate you from your true self as God. You are your brother's keeper because you are your brother. 6. We are not here to chase riches, wealth is found in sharing our essence, sharing love. 7. Fear is the grandest of illusions the ego will use to keep you captive and separate from oneness. All is God so what could there possibly be for you to fear? 8. Want and need are illusions, the ego wishes for us to express our reality in a dream world thus creating distractions to godliness. We are God, God is everything so what could we possibly need? 9. Judgement, anger, hate, are expressions of the ego used to again separate us from the reality of our Godliness. Would you be angry with your nose because it was dirty, would you yell at your nose or cut it off because it had a freckle, all is God so why should we want to kill or hate our brother? 10. Very soon, in our lifetime, there will be a revolution of love, we will unite as one. Money, possessions, jobs, all the trappings of the ego will dissolve exposing a new Eden on earth. No want, no need, no hate, no prisons, no laws or police, no government nor borders JUST GOD. JUST LOVE. I understand these truths, but still I am trapped by the ego, I gently remind myself all day everyday that I am God. I make mistakes, treat people bad, hate some and fear others.

So "all expressions" - including murder, rape, and genocide - are love (point 3), and to value one "expression" over another - say, comforting a friend over war - is valuing ego over the one true God (point 5), but judgment, anger and hate are bad (point 9) in the same way that thinking that genocide isn't exactly loving?

Or what about this, from your post Rape and murder....of the ego?

If you perceive rape and murder to be bad or evil acts then I maintain that you are not succeeding in the quest to understand reality of being.

I would instead put forth the idea that if you don't perceive rape and murder to be bad or evil, then you are not succeeding in the quest to understand basic love at all. Is murder love? Is rape love?

Or what about this one?

All moments of the NOW are Godly moments, fear and hate are merely aspects of the one, which is love.

So fear and hate are really just parts of love? Really? Love, the Divine action of seeking the good of others above the good of yourself, contains within itself fear and hatred?

But where I really have to disagree with you, and the final point I'm going to bring up from your blog, is this:

Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha or any sage would teach you that all that is perceived is an expression of one, call it God, or love if you prefer.

That's just straight up wrong, brother.

I will confess ignorance when it comes to the teachings of the Buddha, and I'm not quite up to snuff on the teachings of Mohammed, either. But Jesus... Yeah, I know Jesus. And Jesus definitely did not teach that "all that is perceived is an expression of one," whether you call it God or not.

Jesus taught that He was God made flesh, that He was the right hand of the Eternal, that He was the only one - the only one - that fully realized and actualized what it means to be fully human and simultaneously fully Deity.

Make no mistake, Jesus is very clear - He's God. We're not.

And that is why I believe in Jesus Christ. I can trust a God who tells me exactly what I am - a screw-up. I can trust a God who shows me what Love actually is - others before myself. I can trust a God who understands that my failures are inevitable, Loves me through them anyway, provides me a chance to know and seek Him, and helps me be less like me and more like Him - perfect.

I don't just believe it because I read a book that said it. I don't just believe it because I was brought up in a family that talked about it. I believe it because it's real. I believe it because my life is radically different as a direct result of my decision to place ALL of my life's direction in the hands of my Creator. And why shouldn't I? I am, after all, the creation.

Look... I don't want to sound like I think I have all the answers. I don't.

And you'd have to look pretty far and wide to find people who agree more with the idea that "what's right for you may not be right for me" and vice versa. If you've been paying attention, you know that I've written about that very idea a few times.

But man... Some things are just real.

Love is real.

Evil is real.

God is real.

And our choice - our very real choice - to accept Him or deny Him has very real consequences for this life as well as the next.

I'm sorry if that seems arrogant, but how can I tell you any different? I am not telling you something that I came up with, I am not telling you something that I feel, I am not telling you something that I think works for me but might not work for everybody.

I am telling you the Truth. Capital T and all.