Learning from Balaam (and avoiding the easy jokes), part III

Beginning in the 22nd chapter of Numbers, we see the story of Balaam. From that story, there are three things that stuck out to me as being true:

1. It is possible to know who God is and worship Him wrong.
2. It is possible to earnestly seek the Word of God and still disobey Him.
3. It is possible for God to speak through you, even when you don't know what to say.

Two weeks ago, I discussed the first point, using the example from my own life experience of the church that was more focused on following the letter of the law than the truth of the Spirit. By focusing on one of the small things that divide us (instrumental worship) instead of the large things that unite us (the love we share for God, the redemption we have in Jesus Christ, and the common workings of the same Holy Spirit in all of our lives), this church missed an opportunity to serve its community in a very real, immediate, and tangible sense. In their efforts to live out the perfect definition of God's Will, their focus became caught up in the smaller concerns that only matter for about three hours out of any given week, instead of focusing on the larger things that would have carried ramifications throughout the rest of this life and all of the next one. In their quest for God, they missed the point of serving Him.

When Jesus, on the Sabbath, healed the man born blind in John 9, the Pharisees called Him a sinner. In Matthew 12, the disciples were hungry on the Sabbath and began to pick grains from a field so they could eat. The Pharisees again accused Jesus and His disciples of sin because they broke the Sabbath - but Jesus rebukes them, telling them that their focus was in the wrong place, quoting scripture to them to prove His point:

For I desire mercy, not sacrifice,

and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.

- Hosea 6:6

Even David, reeling in the guilt and shame of his sins with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah, knows what God truly wants from us:

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;

You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart,

O God, You will not despise.

- Psalm 51:16-17

Last week, I talked about how that Pharisaical mindset - the view that the Bible itself is the Will of God - should be transformed into an understanding that God's Will transcends anything we can ever know here on Earth, and that the Bible is still just part of God's approach to help us better see Him.

Now, understand me here... It is an enormous, indispensable, undeniable, and absolutely true part of that approach! I firmly believe God has given us the Bible that we have in the form that it is in today for a reason, and that reason is that we may come to better know Him.

But it is important to understand that the Bible alone is not enough to ensure a good relationship with God.

Just like the Ethiopian eunuch was reading Isaiah without understanding what it meant until the Holy Spirit led Philip to step in, it is possible for us to read Scripture all day long without it changing our lives, even if we're open to its message, without some interaction from the Holy Spirit. And just like Isaac Asimov wrote his Guide to the Bible without any faith behind it, it is even possible for us to fully understand the Bible and still not encounter God.

It is only through the movement of the Holy Spirit in our lives that we can grow closer to God.

"There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

I'm really trying to make moves towards seeing everything in my life as a miracle. I'm doing a pretty decent job of it, too, I think.

And I'm sure you've heard people say, "Well, of course God still works miracles today! Every sunrise is a miracle!" And... yeah... but at the same time... no, not really. That kind of answer is a justification, an attempt to understand the idea that God still works miracles in today's world, despite the apparent lack of "Lazarus, come out!" type miracles.

Don't get me wrong - sunrises are amazing. I have seen some that reduced me to tears, they were so beautiful.

But the really miraculous part of some of those sunrises was the coming of the new day - the marker that told me and whoever I was with that we had survived the night, had made it through the darkness into the new morning, and that the nine-hour discussion we'd just had was worth it, because we were coming through intact on the other side.

And you know what... There are plenty of stories that I've heard - even a few that are directly in my life - about people who, by all scientific and medical reasoning and understanding, should have died, but God chose to intervene in their lives and restore their bodies to a livable health, at least for a little while. And yeah, those miracles are amazing too.

But that's still not quite as amazing to me as the miracles I've heard about, seen, and - above all - experienced in which God chooses to intervene and restore a person's spiritual health.

The body? It will eventually expire. It doesn't matter how many push-ups you can do, it doesn't matter how many push-ups you can't do. Your body is temporary.

Your soul? That's eternal. That's forever. That's important.

The power of God made manifest in the otherwise inexplicable removal of someone's cancer... Yes, that's amazing. Yes, that's powerful. Yes, that's real! But it's a lot like trying to bail water out of a boat with a Coke can when the hole in the bottom is the size of a basketball. Yeah, you might slow the process a bit, but in the end, there's no way that boat ain't goin' down sooner or later.

But the power of God shown in the miraculous transformation of my heart, soul, and mind... That's the good stuff. That's the stuff that really matters. That's what God is after - and it is what we should be after, too.

(At this point I feel that it is important for me to point out that taking care of your body is still a good idea - smoking is bad for you, it's OK to have a vegetarian meal every once in a while, thirty minutes of exercise every day is a really solid idea, and always make sure the door to your microwave is fully sealed while it is in operation.)

The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love Him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live.

- Deuteronomy 30:6

A man is not a Jew if he is only one outwardly, nor is circumcision merely outward and physical. No, a man is a Jew if he is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man's praise is not from men, but from God.

- Romans 2:28-29

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority. In Him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature, not with a circumcision done by the hands of men but with the circumcision done by Christ, having been buried with Him in baptism and raised with Him through your faith in the power of God, who raised Him from the dead.

- Colossians 2:9-12

The circumcision of the heart - much like the original circumcision of the not-heart - can be a painful process. But it is through the workings of the Holy Spirit in our lives that we find our own selves being peeled back, exposing more of Christ in us. When we enter our relationship with God through His Son, we begin a journey that leads us closer and closer to His true nature with - hopefully - every step. I say hopefully because it is still entirely possible for us to thwart the Will of God here by ignoring the works of the Spirit within our lives.

And I don't think that many of us ever necessarily choose to ignore the Spirit, but it's awfully easy to do in today's World. We live in a World that tells us that we can't ever do anything unless we do it ourselves. We are surrounded by a World that wants us to look into ourselves and see who we really are so we can be the best we can be on our own.

And what we've got to remember is that we're not part of this World. We can't do it on our own. No matter how good our own personal best is, it's still not anything worth calling good. Good in our lives only comes from God. We - on our own - are not righteous.

But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

- Romans 3:21-24, emphasis added

Our righteousness - all of it - depends entirely upon our faith in Jesus. Without that faith, without that connection to God, we are nothing, and any perceived righteousness on our part is empty, because it is not connected to the source of true righteousness - it does not come into our lives from the Spirit.

So I say all that to say this.

In Numbers 22:38, 23:12, 23:26, and 24:13, Balaam asks Balak, king of Moab, "Didn't I tell you I can only say what God puts in my mouth?"

And it is on that point that I want to be a lot more like Balaam.

I want to be so in tune with the Holy Spirit that when I open my mouth, I do not speak - God speaks through me. I want to know that what I am saying is the truth - I want to know it undeniably comes from God.

I have moments of that. Not many. But they're there.

A few weeks ago, I felt the gentle nudge inside me that said, "You need to send that message." I ignored it, because I didn't want to rock the boat. I didn't want to come on too strong. I didn't want to be seen as a weirder guy than I already am. I didn't want to stick my nose where it didn't belong.

But I still felt that nudge. "You really need to send that message." And I ignored it again. I didn't want to overstep my bounds. I didn't want to risk alienating a friend. I didn't want to take any risks, because risks meant I could lose everything.

But the nudge was getting so strong I couldn't ignore it. "No, Aaron... You really need to send that message." I couldn't distract myself. I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't say no anymore.

So I sent the message. I felt two things once it was out of my hands - fear and relief. I felt fear that I was wrong, that I had been deluding myself, convincing myself that I needed to step in to something that wasn't my place, fear that I was going to mess up a friendship I care about. But I felt relief - relief that I had done what the undeniable voice in me had asked of me. And I fully believe that this voice was, and is, the Holy Spirit, working within my life.

A few days later, I got a reply. The very first thing I saw in that reply was "I needed this Aaron, and I don't know how you knew it." It was at that moment that I was overcome with tears, joy, and an unstoppable desire to sing my humble praise and adoration to God.

That message was not from me. It was from God. It was the Holy Spirit moving in me to send that message. My friend didn't know how I knew to send that message. And here's the thing - I didn't know, either! I had no way of knowing, other than God telling me.

Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.

- I Thessalonians 5:19-22

When I tell you that God speaks to me, what is your reaction? Do you believe it, or do you picture me wearing an aluminum foil hat to keep out the government's rays?

Is it really so crazy to think that God might actually still be active - in a HUGE way - in the world today?

Is it really so crazy to think that God might be active in your life if you'll let Him?

I promise you... I am nothing special. I haven't got much of anything figured out. But I am slowly, slowly, slowly learning more of how to truly listen to God. His voice is sometimes still the gentle whisper after the earthquake and the fire... And sometimes He's the loud, commanding voice telling the storms to be still.

I've not perfected the skill of listening to the Spirit with a completely open heart. I still mess up. I still mess up a lot. But I've started to notice that my slip-ups come when I focus more on myself, on my own desires, on getting MY way instead of patiently, prayerfully, and purposefully listening for the words of the Holy Spirit in my heart, soul, and mind.

But the one truth I've managed to grasp is that the only way you're going to hear the Spirit is if you listen. It is my prayer for you that God opens your ears - your heart, your soul, your mind - and lets you hear what He's really got to say to YOU, because I promise you - it's worth hearing.

I've got one more thing I want to get out of Balaam next week. I'm looking forward to it. Hope you are, too.

Pray for an open spirit.