Is Crazy Really That Bad?

So... I really think it's at least a decent possibility that I might actually have gone completely crazy...

Because... uhh... God talks to me.

Yeah, I know. It's nuts.

But seriously, it's also incredibly awesome.

I don't really know where to go from there. It's not like you can just tell most folks "Oh, hey, my name is Aaron, and God talks to me," and then expect the conversation to really get much more interesting than that.

I know it sounds crazy. Believe it or not, it feels crazy. But really, there's no other way I can possibly describe what's going on other than that God is talking to me.

I don't really know what this is. I think, believe and feel that it's the Holy Spirit working in me in a way that a lot of us aren't really predisposed to believe happens anymore. I've been reading my Bible, I've been sharing what I'm going through with close friends, I've been praying non-stop... I'm really trying to make sure I'm hearing what I'm hearing, because if I'm just making it all up and calling it God on my own, then... well... I guess I'm crazy.

But really, is this kind of crazy so bad?

Everybody thought Noah was crazy.

I'm sure the same can be said of Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Samuel, David, Elijah, Elisha, Daniel... Or what about John the Baptist, Peter, Paul, John the Revelator, Philip, Stephen... or even Jesus Himself?

I don't want to sound like I think I'm on par with any of those guys.

But I do know that we all worship the same God.

So why can't my God work the same miracles today that He worked back then?

More to the point, I guess... Instead of why can't He... Why wouldn't He?

Let me make this super clear here: yes, I am really saying that I really think that God is delivering personal messages directly to me. I don't hear a voice from the clouds, I just know that He's talking to me.

Part of why I know He's talking to me is that I'm not the only person He's talking to, nor am I part of some exclusive group.

I have friends who are on this wavelength - we're seeing the same stuff and it's kinda scary all around. We all want the same thing - to know God as deeply as we can - but there is just so much of today's world that has told us that God retired. There are so many in the world - in Christianity - who feel that God, for some vaguely defined reason, stopped working the same miracles as He once did in the Bible, and as I understand it, that's got something to do with the Bible itself existing. Since we have the Bible, God doesn't pull out the fireworks anymore.

Well... I have a counter-theory.

What if God didn't stop working the miracles at all? What if the only reason we ever stopped seeing God doing awesome stuff - like no-possible-explanation-for-this-except-God stuff - is because we stopped looking?

What if we don't see miracles because we don't think they're out there?

The Bible is pretty consistent in getting out the point that if you are genuinely looking for God, He'll show Himself to you.

So... score another one for the Bible being awesome...

Another part of what lets me know that this - whatever this is - is from God is that it doesn't contradict the Bible. In fact, everything I'm reading in the Bible makes me think that this is exactly what the Bible is talking about.

Is the fruit of the Spirit in your life because you chose to be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled?

Or has the Holy Spirit borne that fruit in your life, changing you to be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled?

I don't know about you, but I know that - for myself - it's the latter. I am a better person because God came into my life in such an unbelievably huge way. And I think "unbelievably" might be a pretty big word there.

Just how unbelievable is it for you that God talks to me? Just how unbelievable is it for you that God changed me? Just how unbelievable is it for you that He wants to do the same with you?

Just how alive is God for you?

Do you believe that He did all that crazy miracle stuff?

Or do you believe that He does all that crazy miracle stuff?

I don't want to claim anything special or unique here - it's not. The salvation of Jesus Christ is not unique to me. The Bible is not my own little special secret book. This is open for everyone. Every single person on this planet can get here if they choose to do so.

I really hope you will choose to do so, because trust me, it's awesome out here. Yeah, it's... it's weird at times. It's scary sometimes. Above all, it's enough to make a guy really question himself as well as his faith, but so far, the answer to all of the questions has consistently been GOD, in gigantic impossible-to-miss ways.

If God isn't talking to me, whatever it is that is talking to me - my own crazy mind or some other force unknown - is certainly telling me a whole lot about some really awesome stuff going down.

If God isn't talking to me, I have sent those letters and made those phone calls and seen those people and had those conversations that have ultimately ended up in somebody seeing God in a huge, huge, huge way - whether it's me or the people I'm talking to or even all of us... And it doesn't make a lot of sense for anything except God to be doing that.

If God isn't talking to me, then I have somehow found the exact right mental instability, because it has made me nicer, kinder, more patient, more joyous, more loving... It's made me a better man, being this crazy.

If this is crazy, it is an awesome crazy, and I really hope you get it.

I don't know - you might already be here. Maybe we just haven't talked about it. But one thing that I've found is that when you meet somebody else who is here, you know. Pretty much right away. As soon as God comes up - which is very quickly - you just know that you're talking to someone else who is seeing the same thing as you, and it's earth-shattering. It's SO big.

So very big.

And it's everywhere.

And it's all the time.

And it's real.

It's unmistakable. It's unavoidable. It's undeniable.

It's God.

But what if I'm just seeing what I want to see?

Well, since what I want to see is God in the first place... How is that bad?

And didn't Jesus in fact tell us that if we want to see God, that we would?

Isn't that the whole point of the ask-seek-knock deal? Ask and you'll receive, seek and you'll find, knock and the door will be opened to you? Isn't that a promise from Jesus Himself?

But it sounds so crazy. God talks to me? Really? That's what the homeless guy on the sidewalk in front of the Walgreens said, too.

Well... Yeah... But like I said... People thought Noah was crazy. People thought Peter and the other apostles were drunk on Pentecost. In I Corinthians 14, Paul tells the Corinthians that when they're actually displaying their spiritual gifts, non-believers are just going to be confused and think that they're all crazy people.

So again... Is crazy really that bad?

Call me crazy if you must. I'll take it.

But I think God and I are going to some pretty amazing places with the crazy. So I'm definitely along for the ride.

Get on board with me. See where it goes. I promise you'll like it.

If you're already on board... Can't wait to see where we wind up together.

But either way... Let's talk about it.

Rules of Engagement #4 - Eating Meat (and the Eternal Consequences Thereof)

So this "Rules of Engagement" thing... I've been trying to focus on things that I at least know that I personally need to put into better practice when it comes to trying to reach out to the lost and bring them closer to God's vision for their lives.

In the first part, I talked about how it's important to actually stick to the discussion at hand. If someone asks me about my belief in God and the first answer I give them is just that God doesn't like them, then I'm probably not going to be the most effective champion for the cause of Christ.

In the second part, I talked about how it's important that we all understand that my sins, your sins, his sins, her sins, their sins... it's all the same. Once we understand that all of us have committed the exact same infractions against God and are definitely all worthy of the exact same punishment, it's a lot easier to think about everybody getting into the exact same grace and the exact same Love.

In the third part, I talked about how it's important that we all really grasp the idea that it's OK if somebody's Christianity is a little different from ours. For starters, it's not my responsibility to make sure someone else's faith is perfect - that decision is ultimately their own, as is mine when it comes to my own faith. Beyond that, Jesus says in Luke 9:50 that "...whoever is not against you is for you," and I think it'd be a good idea to remember that.

So here in this 4th (and final) part, I want to actually lay down what I've been building towards, built on all three of those things before it. So get your head ready, because I'm actually very scared of what I'm about to say, and I realize that it's a fearful topic for a lot of other people, too.

Let's start off with a story.

Just a hair over 9 years ago now, I threw a shindig at a family friend's house with some friends to celebrate the end of the school year. I was grilling hamburgers and we were all going to watch a movie. The movie we wound up watching was Tombstone. If you've never seen Tombstone... oh, you poor soul. It's a fantastic movie. It's a fairly historically accurate account of the events that led up to and came after the infamous shootout at the OK Corral, with Kurt Russel as Wyatt Earp, Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, Sam Elliott as Virgil Earp, and Sam Elliott's Mustache as Executive Producer.

Oh, and it's rated R. That's important here.

It's not porn or anything - it's a cowboy movie. People shoot each other. The bad guys are REALLY bad. Cuss words a'plenty.

And yeah, it's totally one of my favorite movies.

So we're watching Tombstone for this thing, and I told everybody who was coming well in advance that we were watching Tombstone. I hold the friends from my freshman year in college very dear to my heart, but some of them just were not the kinds of folks who'd dig on a cowboy movie, so I wanted to give them all a chance to bow out gracefully if that was going to be a problem for them.

One friend of mine took me up on that offer, except for the gracefully bowing out part. She informed me that she wouldn't watch any movie that's rated R. I told her that Tombstone is, in fact, rated R, so it looked like she wouldn't be watching the movie, then, didn't it?

The night of the cookout rolled around and we'd all enjoyed my - quite frankly - awesome burger skills and sat down to watch the movie. The girl who'd objected to an R-rated movie was still with us at this point, but another friend was not staying for the movie and offered to give her a ride home. She declined, said she'd stay, and we started watching the movie.

Tombstone does not start off gently. Less than 10 minutes into the movie, there's already been a shootout where something like 10 Mexican police officers are killed at a wedding, a priest is killed, and the bride - kicking and screaming - is dragged off-camera by the bad guys. There's not really any question that these are the bad guys for the movie.

But as soon as the shootout started, Monica (not her real name, I just got tired of vague pronoun usage) let out this loud gasp of shocked protest and said, "Are they killing those people?!?"

Wait, what? Yes! Of course they're killing them. They're the bad guys.

"Well, I just can't believe we're watching this."

At this point, Monica's roommate realized she needed to leave and offered Monica a ride back to campus. Monica refused, decided to stay.

A little later in the movie, when we're introduced to Doc, Monica let out her indignant gasp of moral outrage once again and blurted out "SHE'S NAKED!"

Alright, look... The first time I saw Tombstone, I was maybe 13 or 14 years old. I'd already seen it a thousand times by the time I got to college. Believe me, if there was a naked "she" anywhere in that movie, I'd have picked up on it. But right now, I was looking at Val Kilmer, who is most definitely neither a she nor naked. So I asked what on earth Monica was talking about.

"The painting! Behind him! On the wall! She's naked! I can't believe we're watching this movie!"

Wait... WHAT? The painting? You're upset about the painting? It's not like it's erotic in any way whatsoever... It's just a kind of Renaissance-y painting with a naked lady draped out under a fruit tree and chubby little baby angels floating around... whatever. And for all the times I'd seen the movie, I'd actually never noticed it until Monica pointed it out.

So my buddy Matt offered to leave the movie (which was pretty chivalrous of him, considering he loves Tombstone as much as I do) just to give Monica a ride back to her dorm. We were barely 30 minutes into the movie and it only gets more violent from that point. Monica, once again, refused the ride and chose to stay.

We finished the movie in relative silence. Monica didn't say anything else, but she did gasp indignantly and glare at me every time somebody used profanity or got shot. So there was a lot of gasping and glaring, but she didn't say anything else...

But the next day... Oh, goodness. I still look back on the event with a whole lot of incredulity, but in the middle of it, I was just flat out FLOORED with confusion. See, what happened was after we got through with the movie and went on back to campus, apparently, I was painted up to be the villain of the century because I showed Monica this movie.

Now... I'm not looking for absolution, I'm not looking for anybody to take my side, I'm not looking to be proven right... Largely because I already know that wasn't my fault. At all. I did nothing wrong in that... with the possible exception of even inviting Monica in the first place.

One of the other guys that had come to the cookout actually told me, "I can't believe you showed her that movie. She's the weaker Christian, Aaron, and you caused her to stumble."

What? Seriously?

She knew before we even got there that the movie was rated R. She was given a chance to leave before the movie started and two other chances to leave during the movie, yet she stayed parked right there on that couch, shooting daggers at me from her eyes and voicing her disapproval every time somebody pulled a trigger.

And it's my fault?

"Why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience?" - from I Corinthians 10:29

Lest you think this whole post is just to defend my actions at a cookout 9 years ago, here's where I'm going with all this and why it applies to me and you today.

In issues of conscience where the "weaker" Christian is unsettled, offended, whatever'ed by the actions of the "stronger" Christian, it is the responsibility of the "stronger" Christian to be sure that his or her influence does not cause the "weaker" Christian to stumble.

BUT.

It is also the responsibility of the "weaker" Christian to realize that his or her own personal moral code is not applicable to anyone else, Christian or not.

"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God — even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

- I Corinthians 10:23-24, 31-33

Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written:

" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,

'every knee will bow before me;

every tongue will confess to God.' " So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food [footnote: nothing] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

- Romans 14, emphases added

There are some things in life that I quite frankly just really enjoy. Man, they're nice. Dig 'em. Some folks, however, are not quite so big on those things. In fact, for some folks, some of the things I enjoy doing might be a sin.

I understand - fully - that it is my responsibility as a Christian who has the maturity and clarity of mind to enjoy those things responsibly (in regards to my responsibility towards God as well as to my brothers and sisters in Christ, strong or weak) to make sure that my influence is not spread in such a way that, through exercising my freedoms to do these things, I cause another to stumble.

But where I think a lot of people kinda glaze over and stop paying attention is the part where it's the responsibility of the "weaker" Christian to realize that he or she is "weak" when it comes to a particular issue and just know to not do it.

Just to get rid of the vague "thing" issue while at the same time keeping the integrity of my example to other Christians intact, let's put an example on this that could not possibly cause anyone to stumble one direction or the other. Let us assume, then, that driving a 1992 red and gray Ford F-150 is a questionable moral issue for some people. (Hey, guess what! That's my truck!)

Now... In knowing that driving my truck causes some people to stumble, I will take precautions to avoid that happening. For instance, if my truck drove people to sin, I wouldn't drive my truck to church. I'd take a different car, I'd hitch a ride, I'd walk... But I wouldn't take my truck.

The thing is, though... It's still my truck. I still really like driving my truck. I know that I can drive my truck and still live my life completely focused on a pursuit of the Kingdom of Heaven. Me driving my truck does not get in the way of my walk with God. (In fact, it lets me go further faster.)

So let's say I'm in my truck, just tearing around the back roads by the house. I'm not out where people are going to see me unless they come looking. (Seriously - it's some pretty country out here, and you can go for miles and miles and miles without ever seeing another car, if you go to the right places. I go to these places regularly.)

That's all between me, God, and the gas pump. As far as God is concerned, yeah, driving my truck is A-OK, so long as I do my part to keep someone from stumbling.

But if you come to my house and see my truck sitting in the driveway, it looks kinda bad if you just immediately start smashing up the windows, busting the headlights, cutting my brake lines, pouring sugar in the gas tank...

It's my truck. I'm the one driving it. I'm the one with the keys.

My truck has nothing to do with your spirituality.

If you think that your driving of my truck is a sin, don't ask me for the keys.

Man, I really hope this is still making sense.

The responsibility of the "stronger" Christian is to remove any possible stumbling block in the path of the "weaker" Christian. But it is the responsibility of the "weaker" Christian to grow stronger and understand that there are some things out there that might not actually be sins for everyone, even if it is a sin for me or you.

Jesus turned water into wine. The host of the feast said, "THIS IS REALLY AWESOME WINE!" Grape juice is not really awesome wine. Really awesome wine has alcohol in it. Really awesome wine has the potential to get you drunk if you misuse it. Therefore I have absolutely no qualms about saying that yes, I believe it is possible for a perfectly strong Christian to drink alcohol and still be close to God. Jesus Himself drank enough that the Pharisees used His party-guy demeanor as an accusation against Him and the Apostles more than once (Luke 5, Luke 7, lots of other spots).

If you don't think it's OK for you to drink, hey, that's cool. Don't.

If you don't think it's OK for you to watch R-rated movies, right on. Don't.

If you don't think it's OK for you to drive a 1992 red and gray Ford F-150, that's your thing. Don't.

But even as much as it is the responsibility of the guy who can drink, watch an R-rated movie, and drive a 1992 red and gray Ford F-150 (not all at the same time, of course...) to not put the stumbling block in the path of the one who cannot do those things in clear conscience, every bit of the same burden is laid on the one who cannot do those things to not judge those who can.

When we are trying to bring people in from The World to The Father, we're encountering them as people with a set code of morality that may not actually have anything to do with Biblical foundations whatsoever. And that's OK. God can use that. God can reach those people. God can get into their hearts and their minds and their souls and show them that He really is the point of everything. He can rewire them to be absolutely charged up with the energy of the Holy Spirit and set them on a path that brings them closer to Him, and pulling other people along as they go.

But when He does that, He might not do it the same way He did it with you.

There are going to be things that other Christians, both young and old in their faith, do that you can't, because it would be a violation of your conscience.

That's OK.

Don't do those things, and don't judge them for doing them.

We don't have to try to get to the point where we're strong enough to do those things. It's OK for me to believe that I should not do certain things that cause me to stumble. But there's nothing at all in Scripture that says it is my responsibility to get other people to stop doing things that they can handle with perfect maturity and clarity of mind... just because I am the one who can't handle it.

So go ahead. Do what you want. If you're living a life focused on God, what you want to do will change anyway.

But remember - and this part is actually really scary for a lot of people... It is ultimately your own choice what you do. If you choose to look to me as the "stronger" example, you just may see me doing some things that you don't like, some things that you can't handle. My influence over you is not totalitarian. You still have your own free will independent of my actions, good or bad. Know your conscience. Know the Spirit. Know the Bible. Don't violate any of those and you're good... no matter what you're doing.

Rules of Engagement #3 - It Doesn't Matter

For the three of you reading this who might not yet have figured this out about me, I'm a comic book nerd. That's just a thing that straight up is about me. I love me some comics. I read some Captain America a few days ago that made me weep. My senior English paper at Harding was over the first 103 issues of the Fantastic Four - the Stan Lee and Jack Kirby run. Frank Miller and David Mazzuchelli's "Born Again" arc from Daredevil vol. 1 #227-233 is seriously on par with Hamlet in my book.

Now, while I may not understand it, there are a lot of people - like, a disturbingly large number of people - out there in the comic book reading world who think that Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' Watchmen is the greatest comic ever written.

Personally, I don't even think Watchmen qualifies for "not bad."

But when I was standing in line at HeroesCon a few years back, waiting to meet Gene "The Dean" Colan, it really didn't matter what my opinion was on Watchmen and it didn't matter what the opinion of the guy behind me was on "Born Again" - we had something bigger to focus on. We were both excited about what we had in common: a tremendous respect for a legendary artist of the classic Marvel Bullpen. When we both realized we were in the presence of a man who, even at 80-something years old, can still draw an Eisner award-winning Captain America story, we stopped caring about the little stuff that divided us, like preferences for certain titles, certain artists, certain authors... and we really came together on the big thing we shared. We were both just nuts about comics. American comics, European comics, Japanese comics, comics from the 30's, comics from last week, superhero comics, cowboy comics, regular-ordinary-guy comics... We liked comics.

Unfortunately, it's not like that very often. If you've never been around a whole bunch of us comic book guys in one place at one time, it can be hectic. There's this deep well of vicious bile stored up for anyone who disagrees with the majority of comic book readers. You don't like The Dark Knight Returns? Get behind me, Satan!

Can't we just not agree on stuff?

If you're reading comics, I'm thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. I don't care what it is, it's awesome that you're reading it. That's how much I love comics. It makes no difference to me if your favorite character is Batman or Jeffy from The Family Circus. It's comics. I love the art form itself enough that I can be OK with you not loving the exact same things the exact same way I do.

I think it's important to be a lot like that with my Christianity.

There are things that we obsess over and fight over and divide over that really... well, they're just not worth getting upset about in the first place.

Especially not when we're all supposed to be focused on something bigger than any and all of us anyway.

My goal is not for you to fall in love with "Born Again" the way that I am. I would love it if that happened, because yeah, it's an awesome book, but it's not so awesome that I think that everybody on the planet will dig it exactly the same way I do. You gotta know some stuff about Daredevil to really get that book. It helps to have read the original Frank Miller run, as well as a lot of things that came before it. It's not for everybody.

But my goal definitely is for you to fall in love with comics. There's something out there for you, I promise. It does not matter who you are, I promise you that there is a comic book out there with your name on it. I believe that with all of my heart. Young or less young, male or female, "Jesus Is Just Alright" by DC Talk kind of Christian or "Jesus Is Just Alright" by The Doobie Brothers kind of Christian, it doesn't matter*, I know there's one out there for you.

So let's corral this back down to reality for a minute.

My goal in reaching the lost is not that they become a Christian the exact same way that I am a Christian. I'm a somewhat-conservative libertarian Southern boy raised in the church of Christ from 1983-onward, absorbing years of niche pop culture with a steady soundtrack of Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and Jimi Hendrix. There aren't going to be a whole lot of people who fit that mold. So there's no need for me to try to shove them into that mold.

But my goal in reaching the lost definitely is to show them Christ. I want them to see Jesus. I want them to know God. I want them to understand the same things that I understand that have led me to change my life for the far, far, far better. I want them to know that there is a way to escape their past. I want them to know that there is an answer for a better life that really just makes too much sense to be ignored. I want them to know that Christianity works. It is the power of God in the world today, transforming men and women, young and old, rich and poor, across all divides of race and power and prestige and nationality, seeking to bridge the gap between the creation and its Creator.

I want people to see The Big Thing. I want them to know Absolute Truth. I want them to know God.

And God is big enough that I can be OK with them disagreeing with me on a few things.

There are good Christian folks out there who believe that the Leviathan and Behemoth mentioned in Job are dinosaurs. That's cool. I don't believe that, but I don't think it matters, because no matter what Leviathan and Behemoth were, the point is that God is bigger.

There are good Christian folks out there who believe that Ezekiel the prophet may have been an epileptic. That's cool. I don't know whether he was or not, but even if he was, the point is that God still used Ezekiel to accomplish His Will. God's bigger than epilepsy.

There are good Christian folks out there who believe that it's a sin to ever drink any alcohol in any form. That's cool. I completely disagree. God's bigger than alcohol.

Here's the thing... When you are completely zeroed in on nothing but following Christ, you start to notice just how much you've got in common with the Christians around you. You see that we are all going after One Purpose. We are all going after One Truth. We are all going to One Place.

But when you lose that focus on Christ and start to look around at other people, it's easy to notice how different everybody is. And sometimes in those differences, it's easy to think that if somebody's not looking up to Jesus from the same vantage point as me, then he can't possibly be seeing the same Jesus I'm seeing. He can't be worshiping God right. But in reality, he's seeing the exact same Jesus Christ, the exact same Son of God... he's just standing on a different hill, so his point of view isn't the same as mine.

But since it's still the same Jesus...

Isn't that OK?

If we don't go to the same kind of church but we still love the same Jesus, isn't that OK?

If we don't listen to the same music but we still show unending love to those around us because we still love the same Jesus, isn't that OK?

If we don't read the same version of the Bible, but we both still apply what the Bible teaches into our lives and let God transform us into the people we were meant to be because we still came to love and worship the same Jesus, isn't that OK?

These questions are rhetorical, but I really do need to make sure that you all understand that the answer is "yes."

When C.S. Lewis was writing the radio lectures that would eventually become Mere Christianity, he sought out the help of four clergymen: one each Catholic, Anglican, Presbyterian and Methodist. He wanted to make sure that he was speaking to the great truth that united them all - a love for God through Jesus Christ. And you know what happened? He did just that! He talked about Christianity, not Catholicism or Anglicanism or Presbyterianism or Methodism. He talked about what unites us - because there's a whole lot more that unites us than separates us. He talked about what we have in common, because what we have in common should be what identifies us, not what separates us from each other.

And if we can't do that amongst ourselves, then we're never going to be able to really bring people in to Christ the way we were meant to.

When you're talking to someone who doesn't even believe in God, it really doesn't matter what you believe about how and when the Lord's Supper is observed. That's not the important part. That's not what we've got to show people. We've got to show people God.

Jesus, God's One and Only Son, died to forgive the sins of humanity.

After that, it's pretty much all details.

The important part - the part that matters - is how people react to Jesus. That's what matters.

So next week we'll talk about just exactly what falls into that "doesn't matter" category. Some of you might be surprised. I know I was.

* - I'm personally a "Jesus Is Just Alright" by Robert Randolph and the Family Band featuring Eric Clapton kind of Christian, but hey, it still doesn't matter!

Rules of Engagement #2 - We're All Wrong

What is sin?

I'm not asking what some sins are - we all know that. We all know that murder and rape and greed and blasphemy are sins. But what is it that those have in common? What does all sin have in common? What is the one thing that makes a sin - any and all sin - a sin?

Well, personally, I think that anything that we do that violates the will of God (love Him and love others) is sin. That pretty much encompasses everything. Obviously murder is not very loving towards others, specifically the other that one would need to make dead in order to qualify for the act of murder. Blasphemy shows a lack of respect for God, which kinda messes up the whole thing about loving Him.

All sin comes from one thing: us. We can blame our upbringings, we can blame the other people around us, and we can blame Satan, but it all still comes down to one thing, and that's simply us. Whatever the sin was, it happened at the point where I decided that my will and my desires were more important than God's will and His desires. I was gonna do what I wanted to do, no matter what God wanted me to do.

So... That's what I think sin really is: a defiance of God the creator on the part of Man the creation.

And I really think that's the best way to think about it. Not to say that I'm the definitive source for understanding on the nature of our relationship to God or anything like that, but I think it helps to understand sin at its most basic level. By understanding sin at its most basic level, we can understand a whole lot of other stuff, too.

For instance... If all sin is understood to simply be defying God, then all sin takes on the exact same weight. It doesn't matter what the sin is - if it's something sexual, if it's something violent, if it's something dishonest, if it's something arrogant... it really just kinda stops mattering. It's still sin. It's all still trying to put yourself above God, and that just ain't gonna work.

He is, after all, God.

It really doesn't matter how much we sin - it's not gonna mess up God's plans.

It also doesn't matter how righteous we are - we're not doing God some huge favor.

He's God. He's got it under control and we don't.

Our faith doesn't change God's world, it changes ours. God is going to be God whether we act like it or not, whether we even believe in Him or not.

Look up at the heavens and see;

gaze at the clouds so high above you.

If you sin, how does that affect Him?

If your sins are many, what does that do to Him?

If you are righteous, what do you give to Him,

or what does He receive from your hand?

Your wickedness affects only a man like yourself,

and your righteousness only the sons of men.

- Job 35:5-8

God is Perfect. God is Holy. God is Love.

We aren't.

We're aiming for that, sure... But we fall short. So very short. All of us.

And here's the thing about that... It really doesn't matter how close we think we're getting, we're still an impossibly huge distance from that Holy Loving Perfection.

My righteousness is not defined by anything I am or say or do except that I have chosen to allow God to redefine my life and steer me towards His Righteousness. I am a sinful creature, no doubt, but my sins have been forgiven, which is a pretty amazing thing... right up until I start taking that forgiveness for granted and turn that into a sin on its own.

Think of the worst person you know - just the absolutely most depraved creature of sin you've ever encountered. Think of all the horrible things you know that person has done, and all the horrible things you've heard he or she might have done, and all the horrible things you've imagined that person could have done.

And now remember that you're really not any better.

The nearest star to the earth after the sun is Alpha Centauri, some 4.37 light-years, or 25.8 trillion miles, away. The earth itself has a diameter of just under 8,000 miles. So let's say there's a guy standing on the exact opposite side of the earth from me, and I'm looking straight up at Alpha Centauri. Yeah, that other guy (who is standing in the Indian Ocean, about 1,000 miles off of the coast of Western Australia, just FYI) is a whole 8,000 miles further from Alpha Centauri than I am, but considering that even if we were standing in the same place, we'd still be 25,800,000,000,000 miles away from what we're looking at, and on that scale, another 8,000 miles in either direction just really isn't that big of a deal.

And that's how it is with us and God and everyone else around us. I really don't have any special view on righteousness. Even if I am closer to God than another person, I'm still so very far from God that I'm not exactly out on my own. My righteousness is not defined by me, it's defined by God. When I try to get the righteousness thing going on my own, I mess it up, because I am not - by definition - capable of attaining righteousness on my own. I can only become righteous by being made righteous by the love of God through the sacrifice of Jesus.

So I've had that running around in my head for a while now, and it's led me to some interesting places as far as how it can be applied to spreading the Gospel.

I know I'm still pretty bad at it sometimes - maybe even a lot of times - but I've noticed that God has helped me stop judging people quite so very much, and for that, I'm thankful.

There are people in the world who have committed murder and have yet to accept Christ and His teachings as the way to a better life. It doesn't do me or them any good to think of myself as better than them just because I've never actually killed a guy. I've certainly thought about it enough. I've wished just as much harm on people, maybe even more. And who knows, if I'd been in the same circumstances, maybe I'd have stumbled the same way they stumbled. It doesn't matter - I need God's forgiveness just as much as they do.

I may not have ever robbed a bank, but I've definitely taken things that weren't mine.

I may not have ever been a prostitute, but I've definitely taken liberties with my libido that I shouldn't have.

I may not have ever sacrificed children to Molech, but I've definitely taken God out of His proper place in my worldview and replaced Him with something worldly and empty.

Sinning just a little is still sinning a whole lot. Even 99.99% pure is still impure.

When we realize that our sin is just as heinous and wretched and damnable as the sin of everyone else on the planet, we can relate to them a little better.

When we realize that it's our sin as well as their sin that put Jesus on the cross, we understand a bit more of the commonality between us all, and that's when we can show them how we've escaped the unending doom of our own lives of constant failure.

You know that you're not supposed to judge people, I know that I'm not supposed to judge people. I'm not saying anything new here, and I'm not saying anything extra-Biblical. I'm just saying that we've got to make it real to us, because the one thing that I hear more than anything else about Christians is that we've apparently got a bit of a reputation for judging people. That ain't cool. That's not how Jesus operated, and I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that He's a good example to follow.

Of course, that's just what I personally believe... And that's what we'll be talking about next week.

Rules of Engagement #1 - Stick To It

If you ask me who my favorite band in the world is... Well, I think most of you can finish this sentence by now. It will do you no good - avail you absolutely nothing in the slightest - if, during our discussion, you insist that Screeching Weasel (this is a real band) is better than Led Zeppelin, especially if your evidence is the Screeching Weasel song "I Hate Led Zeppelin" (which is also real, not that any of you should go listen to it, because it's also real bad).

When discussing whether Rick Deckard is a replicant or not (spoiler: he is), it serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever to ask whether Han or Greedo shot first. (Han, and I don't care what your fancy-pants special edition DVD says.)

I wish I could come up with examples for this that aren't completely nerdy, but hey, I'm a nerd. It's what I know.

But the point - nerdy or not - is entirely the same across all of everything: if you're talking about oranges, apples do not bear much relevance to the topic at hand.

Guess what?

Strangely enough, that is still true for discussions about God.

Storytime!

When I was up in Kansas a few weeks ago for my friend Sarah's wedding, she was THE only person I knew there. Like, in the entire state. I knew ONE person, and that was the bride. I didn't have a car, and I'd missed my opportunity to be out for the night, so I was definitely in... watching Sarah and her bridesmaids sew dresses and enjoying the BBC Pride and Prejudice. The one with Colin Firth.

Let me clarify this: Sarah and her bridesmaids were enjoying it. I was not. I do not like Mr. Darcy, I do not like Elizabeth Bennett, and I do not like being the only guy in a room full of women swooning for a guy who isn't me. That he is fictional only adds insult to the injury.

It so happened that one of Sarah's bridesmaids, Kimi, brought along her fiancé, Kevin, who was also one of the groomsmen. This guy SAVED MY LIFE. Finally, in the midst of this rampant chick-flickery, I get to hang out with a dude. And what a dude he was.

There was little time lost between our introduction and a deep conversation being struck between myself and Kevin. We talked about a great deal many of the things that two men talk about when the women are off being "the women," but our conversation eventually wound up circling around a discussion of morality, religion, and the social progression of humanity.

My goodness, it was a fascinating conversation.

We talked for what seemed like hours! We covered so many different ideas and understandings and points of view, and the entire time, we just built off of each other and leapt to new ideas and new ways of seeing exactly what the other was talking about... It was wonderful!

And the fun part of it was that Kevin is an atheist.

I've got atheist friends. Having a discussion on these topics with someone who does not believe the same things I believe is not a foreign idea. And it's not even that this conversation went so well that is particularly what matters, because I've had that happen before, too.

What really tickles me about it is actually what happened the day after the wedding. I was talking to Jimbo, Sarah's ridiculously cool husband, for what was really the first good chat the two of us had been able to share. I'd met him for about ten seconds on Thursday, the wedding was on Friday, and Saturday's the first time he's actually had a minute to breathe, let alone talk to some dude his wife went to college with.

As Jimbo and I were talking, I was surprised when the conversation Kevin and I had shared came up. Specifically, it came up when Jimbo said, with a strong note of astonishment in his voice, "So I heard you talked religion with Kevin the other night! I am impressed."

"Wait, what? Why impressed?"

"Dude. NOBODY talks religion with Kevin. It is just IMPOSSIBLE to do."

"What, are you serious? That guy was so chill! He wasn't a jerk about it, he didn't try to shove his beliefs down my throat, and he respected that we can talk about what we agree on and what we disagree on without having to demonize the other guy."

"Hey, he said the same thing about you, man."

"Really?"

"Well, kinda. When we were getting ready for the ceremony, I asked him, 'So, what about that Aaron guy?', and the first thing he said was, 'Man, that Aaron guy is one Christian I can talk to.'"

True story!

How about that? I managed to talk to a guy I'd never met, never even seen before in my life, for a solid three hours about a topic that we completely disagreed on. And all the while, both of us have a reputation in some circles for being difficult people to discuss that topic with! I know for sure that not all of my conversations with atheists have gone as well as that one did, and I know Kevin's had some difficult conversations with Christians, as well.

It's hard sometimes to talk to someone whose fundamental definition of reality is different from yours. But I think that if you have a certain attitude in mind, it just gets a lot easier.

I think Kevin and I were both really rockin' on that attitude that night. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm bragging about my insane skills at talking to atheists or anything... #1, it's not like that field is gonna be getting its own merit badge or anything anytime soon, and #2, "bragging" implies that I did this on purpose, like I had some kind of clue what was going on. No, no... That was not me. I did not have my hands on the wheel at that point. The Spirit was definitely working in me.

And who knows? Maybe it was working in Kevin, too. I have a feeling he'd doubt that, though...

(For the six of you who will get the joke, I'm gonna pull a Jonathan Storment here.)

I tell you that... to tell you this...

I think the reason Kevin and I were able to have such a great discussion (through the working of the Spirit or through whatever else might have happened) was that we both managed to actually stick to the discussion we were having.

When Kevin asked me a specific question about my beliefs, I was able to give him an answer that didn't include a sermon, and I didn't go outside of the question by trying to bring up other beliefs he didn't ask about. He asked me about oranges, I talked about oranges. And I wasn't a jerk. (Woo! Go me!)

When I asked Kevin a specific question about his view of the God he doesn't believe in but I do, he was able to give me an answer that wasn't disparaging of my belief, and he didn't bring out his (dis)beliefs with an aim towards heating up the conversation. I asked him about apples, he talked about apples. And he wasn't a jerk. (Woo! Go Kevin!)

Man... I really ought to try to be like that every single time I talk to people. That would probably be pretty cool.

I think that's the first rule about talking religion with somebody. Whatever the question was, your answer has to stick to it. Be specific, be honest, and don't bring up the things that don't matter for that question.

If you ask me who my favorite band is, I will talk your ear off about Led Zeppelin, not The Firm. Yes, there's a fairly decent connection between the two, but it's not at all the answer to the question you asked.

This may seem like a pretty obvious thing to say, but I really think we (I) could use somebody writing some of this stuff down, because we're kinda bad at this. And not just on the Christian to atheist front. We're bad at this with fellow Christians.

If someone asks you about your beliefs on the nature of God, an answer about the evils of adultery is not going to be a whole lot of help. We get lost in the distractions instead of sticking to the point.

And the worst part about that is that the point is really simple.

BE GOOD.

That's the point.

The point is not that we all agree 100% on the interpretation of every single passage of scripture. The point is not that we all go to the same building every Sunday morning. The point is not that we all clap-or-don't-clap during the singing.

The point is that you behave yourself. That's the point. God set up everything in the world to show us who He is, and once you know who He is, you behave yourself.

So stick to that.

Don't worry about what other people are wearing, or saying, or doing, or thinking, or believing if it doesn't take away from the glory of God.

If they're not Christians, you're not going to convince them that we're the team to join if you're frothing at the mouth because they don't believe the same things you believe. And if they are Christians, you're not going to score any points with anybody by insisting that we all read the same version of the Bible as you and burn the rest.

Again, this may sound basic, and even pedantic, but I think it's worth laying out, because it lays the foundations for a couple of other things I really want to talk about.

But uhh... I guess I'm done for now. Next week, we'll talk about the nature of sin. That's gonna be fun.

Content Unrelated

I'm sorry.

That's all I've got.

I've apologized to God, and now I'm apologizing to you. If you think for a second that this could possibly be directed towards you, it is. If I have in any way wronged you - to your knowledge, to your face, or to your liking or not - I really am sorry.

I've turned off comments on this post because I want you to know that anything you have to say will be between me and you, so please, get in touch. If you're reading this... Yes, it really is you I'm talking to.

I have recognized a few things about myself that I don't like. Trying to fix them.

I'll be back next week with the stuff I said I was gonna have this week last week.

And I love every one of you.

Non-Emo Addendum: Friday, July 2, 2010, 2:33 PM

So... Repentance. Obviously something I've been dealing with this week...

It's pretty amazing how God works in me sometimes. I'm sure it's amazing how He works in you as well, but I can't see that the way I can see this.

I made a few "small" mistakes a short while ago... I thought they were harmless, just natural extensions of the unique experience that is Aaron J. Rushton. Turns out the "small" mistakes were actually "outrageously huge" offenses! Well... Awesome.

I am a pretty good guy... at least 80-85% of the time. Maybe all the way up to 90%. On a good day.

But that 10-20% margin of error still really gets me in trouble sometimes. I feel like a prisoner to my temptations. It's like I'm defined by this one thing I can't get my mind off of. And it feels like this ONE thing... this one struggle, this one temptation... is robbing me of ALL of my righteousness. I am so caught up in this ONE sin that I can't do a single good thing, one righteous thing, to balance it out, to cancel it, to redeem myself... Nothing.

I am a creature of sin, tied like Prometheus to the rock of my passions, torn apart every day by the unending assault of Satan's winged messengers, with their razor-sharp talons and beaks like meat cleavers.

Don't read too much into that.

But what's amazing about this whole thing isn't that I was convicted of my sin and decided to repent after I'd been confronted with what I'd done. When I was confronted with what I'd done, I issued a half-hearted apology and chalked it up to, "Hey, you can't please everybody."

And that was really bad.

God definitely has a sense of drama. He knows how to weave plotlines together like none other. Even the Coen Brothers aren't this good. As I continued to ignore my guilt, God let me take a look into the horrifying consequences of the same sin I was dealing with and how it has affected other people's lives, running unchecked. My "small" mistake was a step on that road, and I realized that I was much farther down that road than I wanted to be.

I know that I have been created by God with certain desires, but if I'm letting those desires make my decisions for me instead of aiming for the purposes God had in mind when He created those desires... well, then I'm just in a bad place, a slave to my own weakness. Again... a prisoner.

But this is not where the story ends. This is where things actually start to get really interesting.

In repentance, in true, genuine, heartfelt contrition, there is an unbelievable release. I kinda think God's got something to do with that one, too.

Through repentance, we open ourselves up so God can free us from our own prison. In sincere penitence, we lay down enough of our pride, enough of our self-reality, to accept a bit more of the only True thing in this existence. Jesus wasn't joking when He said "...the Truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

I messed up. Really bad. I hurt several people that I genuinely care about, and others... well, they might not know I did anything wrong to them, but I did it just the same.

I'm still really sorry. I'm still addressing this to every single one of you. And I still love you all.

Good for Goodness's Sake (a prologue)

So last week, I asked a question that I sincerely believe deserves an answer.

Everything God does is right, right? Maybe not pleasant, but it's RIGHT.

If that's correct, why is what God does right? Is it because everything God does is right because God did it, and therefore it is right, or is it because God did it and God only does things that are right?

And if what God does is right because He's God, what impact does that have on our morality? And if what God does is right because God only does right, what then? What does that say about who we are meant to be?

I feel a little silly about quoting myself, but it bears some reflection, I think, because if we are meant to pursue a lifestyle that reflects the very nature of God, then it really helps to understand the nature of God as much as we possibly can. This is very similar to a Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks understanding the full history and total sociological impact of the industrialized coffee trade, but still, it helps us to understand where we're coming from as well as where we're going in order to make the journey as smooth as possible.

So let's lay this out.

Here's what I personally believe. If you disagree, hey, that's fine, but here's what I believe.

Everything God does is good - not in the sense that every thing that God does makes us all happy, but that each act God carries out moves the universe one step closer to a complete understanding and realization of His Will. So "good" might not be as good of a word as "right."

So... everything God does is right. Everything God does is correct.

But why?

Is everything that God does correct and good and right because God did it, and no matter what God does, the fact that God did it makes it right?

Or is it all good because good is the only thing God does?

Is goodness dependent upon the will of God for its definition, or is goodness itself a part of the nature of God?

I personally believe that we have been given a fairly clear picture in Scripture that God does what is right because what is right is what God does. God, in His very nature, cannot do or be wrong, because God Himself is the definition of all that is right and good. Everything that is - all of "is," as well as "was" and "to be" - exists because of God. God's creation was pronounced Good. Everything since then has been mankind getting in the way.

So in trying to reconcile ourselves to that original goodness - trying to be holy as God is holy (I Peter 1:16, quoting Leviticus 11:44 among others) - we have to be able to understand what that goodness looks like. Is it a static, unmoving, consistent "THIS IS WHAT IS GOOD"? Or is it fluid, tied only to whatever God felt like doing?

From what I understand, the two schools of thought I'm addressing here are called Platonism and Ockhamism. Again, I will readily confess that I may not be fully understanding what I'm talking about here, but from the reading I've done, I've come to understand that Ockhamism is the belief that whatever God does is right because God does it, while Platonism says that God does what is right because that's what God does, in accordance to His Nature.

And it is from that understanding that I can say that I fall firmly in the Platonism camp. What God does is right because God only does what is right. It is who He is. Everything that God does is right because He is the standard and definition of right. What is right does not change because God does not change.

I believe Job backs me up on this (chapters 38-42), as well as verses 5-10 of Isaiah 45:

I am the LORD, and there is no other;

apart from me there is no God.

I will strengthen you,

though you have not acknowledged me,

so that from the rising of the sun

to the place of its setting

men may know there is none besides me.

I am the LORD, and there is no other.

I form the light and create darkness,

I bring prosperity and create disaster;

I, the LORD, do all these things.

"You heavens above, rain down righteousness;

let the clouds shower it down.

Let the earth open wide,

let salvation spring up,

let righteousness grow with it;

I, the LORD, have created it.

"Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker,

to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground.

Does the clay say to the potter,

'What are you making?'

Does your work say,

'He has no hands'?

Woe to him who says to his father,

'What have you begotten?'

or to his mother,

'What have you brought to birth?'

We are not in a position to question the rightness of God - He is, after all, God - but we can understand what that rightness is by knowing that God Himself is the standard of rightness, and He will not break from His own standard.

So where does that leave us?

Our mission in life is to Love God and Love our neighbor. In showing our neighbors God's Love, we are told to bring them all into His flock, into His church, into His presence.

I want to know how to better do that.

And I think that there are certain rules of engagement that have to be understood before we can really cover a lot of ground towards what really matters. If you're trying to bring someone to Christianity who doesn't accept the existence of God, quoting the Bible is not going to be a very effective way to engage them in the conversation. If someone doesn't believe in God, why would that person believe in what the Bible says about God?

If we are going to get anywhere, we've got to understand that it is possible to have a conversation about God - even about our own personal Father Yahweh God - outside of the Bible. It is possible to discuss Truth without Scripture, because Truth is not defined by Scripture. Rather Scripture, in its nature, is True, just as God, in His Nature, is right.

Consider this: if there were no laws on the book against theft, would you just steal whatever you wanted? You, personally, as a Christian... Would you just take things that didn't belong to you?

Of course not. You know it's wrong. It's not just wrong because God said it's wrong in the 10 commandments, it's wrong because it violates someone else's property, it takes away from their work, it hurts them... And that's not Love. As a Christian, you know that your singular mission in life is to Love others. Stealing isn't Love. Stealing is inherently wrong, whether there's a law down against it or not.

And that leads me to some places that I'm gonna need a few posts to discuss. I'm going to write about morality, about perception of morality, about Love, about lust, about good, about evil... It's gonna be a trek. I hope you'll come back for it and take part in this discussion with me, because it's an important one to have, I think.

I also hope I have a single clue as to what I'm really talking about.

Knowing My Father

My Dad's favorite band is Led Zeppelin.

His favorite movie is the one with cowboys in it. Just about doesn't matter which one.

A day spent with a motorcycle is better than most days not spent with a motorcycle.

He likes his cheddar cheese exceptionally sharp.

It should come as no surprise to you, then, that I am also a quite public fan of Led Zeppelin, a whole lot of cowboy movies, Harley-Davidson shirts, and Black Diamond Special Reserve Extra Sharp Cheddar (aged 18 months).

Especially the Led Zeppelin and the cheese.

Is it just because I was brought up around those things? I've got vivid memories of listening to Led Zeppelin II at something like 8 years old. I could barely comprehend what was happening to my ears most of the time, but I know I liked it. Cheese... Well... It's cheese, and cheese is awesome.

I think I've listened to enough Led Zeppelin (and eaten enough cheese) on my own to know that I really, really like Led Zeppelin independently of any childhood memories. (And yes, of course, the cheese.) But there's no denying that I was brought up in an environment that probably prepared me for that outlook. Not like I'm complaining.

Especially not since the same father who brought me up to know and love "Ramble On" also brought me up to know and love my Father.

I was definitely placed on the path that led me to where I am today by my dad. I have been given an example of what it looks like to be a man who is dedicated to following and understanding God.

I think those two parts - following and understanding - are important to have together. It is possible on some level to follow God without understanding Him, just as it is possible on some level to understand God without following Him. But the fullness of each is brought in by the other. If you are dedicated to following God, you will find that it is easier to do once you understand more about God, and every time you understand something else about God, you see new ways in which you can follow His paths.

So I want to understand my Father in the ways I understand my dad. I understand why my dad likes Led Zeppelin. They're good. I understand why my dad likes extra sharp cheddar. It is delicious.

I also understand why he showed me, at age 3, my cat Oatmeal, laying in the middle of a highway in Judsonia. It taught me to stay out of the road.

I have such a pathological fear about getting my eyes poked out that I can't wear contacts (also, they are itchy), but at least I've still got both of my eyes. After all, "THEY DON'T GROW BACK." Thanks, dad.

I understand where my dad's coming from, so I can understand what He taught me, and that means I can better live it out. Not only can I live it out, I can pass it on to my own children.

I want to understand where God's coming from. I want to understand how God works so I can better understand how He wants me to work.

Everything God does is right, right? Maybe not pleasant, but it's RIGHT.

If that's correct, why is what God does right? Is it because everything God does is right because God did it, and therefore it is right, or is it because God did it and God only does things that are right?

And if what God does is right because He's God, what impact does that have on our morality? And if what God does is right because God only does right, what then? What does that say about who we are meant to be?

Is there room for moral relativism in the pursuit of an Absolute Truth?

Are all sins the same? Is one sin worse than another? Is there such a thing as an unforgivable sin?

Just what does a mustard seed worth of faith actually look like?

I'm incredibly lucky to have the father I have. Because of the family I was raised in, I have learned that I honor my father by honoring my Father. I hope to one day be able to pass on the things I've learned to my children, setting an example for them in my faith the same way that my dad set an example for me in his faith. Not that their faith would be mine, just as my dad doesn't want my faith to be his, but that they can see a man - just as I did and do - who is dedicated on living a life of righteousness and passing it on to his children.

Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old, he will not turn from it.

- Proverbs 22:6

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

- Ephesians 6:4

In the days of my youth, I was told what it means to be a man.
Now I've reached that age and try to do all those things the best I can.

- Led Zeppelin, "Good Times, Bad Times," from Led Zeppelin (1969)

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you.

"Big Sky"

I want you to see it.

On August 15, 2009 (the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, by the way), I was out in Ozark, Arkansas, up on Mulberry Mountain with two friends at the Harvest Music Festival, enjoying the wonderful - absolutely gorgeous - sounds of The Ozark Mountain Daredevils after seeing a sunset that I am not ashamed to say evoked tears.

As the envelope of dusk surrounded the horizons and the stars began to multiply in the darkness, I leaned back and gazed upward into the vastness of the universe, and Heaven gazed back. The stars were in rare brilliant form that night. The sky was perfectly clear; not a whiff of a cloud remained from that unbelievably gorgeous sunset. (After all, what is a sunset without the right clouds?) And even though the lights from the stage and the parking area were still nearby, we were seated in just the right spot so none of those lights got directly into our eyes. The other light pollution - that awful orange glow from the cities - was barely perceptible, we were so far out in the remote stretches of the mountains.

As the night went on, the Ozark Mountain Daredevils left the stage, and we were now all just enjoying the breeze of the evening, sharing a lazy conversation between close friends, staring into the glory of the night, waiting for Umphrey's McGee to play.

(That last part about Umphrey's McGee has no bearing on the story other than me bragging to the three of you who read this and care about Umphrey's McGee.)

As I stared - slack-jawed with the same awe and wonder I felt stargazing with my Wolf Scout Den in my backyard at seven years old - I couldn't help but take in the dazzling brilliance of the constellations. It was no mystery to me in that moment how the ancients were able to pick out so many of those shapes - how could they be avoided? I was seeing constellations I couldn't even name, but I knew their shapes. The shapes just popped out! They were inevitable! It was incredible, but it was exhausting. I jumped from constellation to constellation with this palpable excitement, so taken in with all the details in each one that I couldn't just pick one and stay with it. I had to keep looking at the next one.

And that's when Ben suddenly jumped in his seat and shouted out to me, "AARON! AARON! DID YOU SEE IT?"

I sat in stunned silence for a second. Ben might be an excitable guy, but that much of a reaction means I just missed the Millenium Falcon flying by or something equally impressive.

"Uhh... no...? Don't think I did, dude... What was it?"

"THE SKY! IT BECAME ONE! JUST... ONE! BIG! IT'S SO BIG!"

"What?" The sky is one? Of course it is. Did you think there were three skies? And yeah, it's big. It's space. Space is big. "What are you talking about, man?"

"...oh. Well... Nevermind. You'll... ugh. Just... Nevermind." I could tell Ben was disappointed. Whatever it was he had seen, it was impressive, but it wasn't something he could properly describe, apparently.

"OK..."

So I went back to staring at the sky, still jumping from constellation to constellation. I finally got to a point where I was starting to appreciate the stars between the constellations. The nameless twinkling dots and sparkling spots waaaaaay off in the distance, the ones I could only see on nights like this, they were the ones that held my attention for a while. And then I noticed something shifting.

At first it was subtle. If you've done much stargazing, you've either heard or figured out the trick about getting a good long look at faint stars with the naked eye. You can't look directly at them, that's the thing. You've got to look just off of it. You'll actually see it better if it isn't your main focus.

Well, if you're sitting in a field on top of a mountain in Northwest Arkansas on a crystal clear night without any lights in the sky other than the ones God put there, it doesn't matter where you look, you're gonna be not-directly-looking at a WHOLE LOT of stars.

So your vision spreads out a little.

And as you slowly scan your way across the sky, absorbing more and more of the billions and billions and billions of stars in front of you, your vision continues to widen and broaden and spread.

And then, in one sudden, jarring twinkling of an eye, everything falls into place. From horizon to horizon in any and all directions, you just see it. It's all there. The whole sky, all at once. The sky becomes one vast expanse filling your entire field of vision. And it is just.

So.

Very.

Big.

"WHOA! BEN! BEN! I SAW IT! DUDE! WOW! THAT'S AWESOME! IT'S HUGE!"

"I KNOW, RIGHT?!?"

"WOW! IT'S SO AWESOME!"

I know that, right now - unless you've had a "big sky" of your own - you're thinking like I was: "Well, yeah, of course the sky's big. It's the sky. It's space. Space is big. Duh." But I promise you, unless you've seen what I'm talking about, you have no idea what I'm talking about.

It is so unbelievably BIG.

It's so big - so very, very, very big - that even though I was sitting down when it hit me, I still lost my sense of balance and nearly fell out of the chair. Once I saw it, it was inescapable. Everywhere I looked - unless I was looking straight down at the ground - I was just aware of the hugeness of the sky over me. Even if there was just a corner of the sky with one or two stars twinkling in the peripheral of one eye, it was still incomprehensibly huge. So big. So, so, so big.

And the really fun part is that it hasn't left me yet. Nearly a year out now, and still every time I go outside, day or night, clear or cloudy, city or country, it doesn't matter - I look up, and I see the enormity of it all. I look up and I still am aware of how insignificant I am on a cosmic scale. I'm 6'3", and have been known to tip the scales at 400+ pounds. I am a big guy. I am not accustomed to feeling small. But when I realized the enormity of the cosmos in one fell swoop... Oh, I was so small. I was a mote of dust. No, no, scratch that... I wasn't even a mote of dust. I was one of the gluons that holds together the quarks that make up the protons that make up the atoms that make up the elements that make up the compounds that make up the molecules that make up that mote of dust. I was so aware of my infinitesimal insignificance in the grand scheme of the universe...

And it was glorious.

Ever since that night, whenever Ben and I wind up out with the guys under a big open stretch of the heavens, we try to help them see it. We try to get them to see "big sky." We try to show them what we saw.

I want you to see it.

I've been on a really interesting journey into new depths with my faith over the past two years and some change. I've been in completely unfamiliar territory at times, and I'm still breaking new ground every day. I'm still experiencing new things that make me think about God in a different way, and I experience those things all the time. It's been an exponential amount of growth, especially since mid-November. Things have just REALLY been flying. It's been really intense at times, but through it all, God has just shown me more and more and more and more of His Power and His Glory. It's been a trip.

And it's still going.

I don't want to sound arrogant here. I don't want it to sound like I've got some big direct line into God that others don't, so therefore I'm better than anyone else. Believe me, I'm not. I don't have anything anyone else can't have. I don't know anything anyone else can't know. I don't see anything anyone else can't see.

But there are people out there who don't see it. There are people out there - I talk to them every day - who don't see how God is not just a part of your life, He IS Life.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, because it's an important point: a relationship with God - true Christianity - is not something you do, it's what you are. It redefines you.

It is possible to go through life making time for God in between everything else, and that will bring moments of true connection, but they'll be moments. They'll be fleeting. It will be a mountaintop experience filled with long-dormant emotions, churning a stagnant spirit into a frothing, raging, active pool of activity, but it will die down again, leading to a tranquil calm that gives way to the same stagnancy without ever doing anything but stirring things around.

But what if people really made God the first priority, instead of squeezing Him in where they could?

And I don't mean setting aside the first part of the day for a devotional thought and prayer - although that is a wonderful tool which definitely makes an impact on the day - but instead making God the first thought in every moment, the subject at the forefront of the mind at all times, the never-wavering, never-changing, always-present, always-steady fixed object that we have our sights completely set on, the target we are irresistibly drawn to...

What if God was the only thing that mattered?

If you were completely focused on God, how do you think you'd act around other people?

How would you treat your family? Your significant other? Your kids? Your parents? Your co-workers? Your superiors? Your subordinates? Your insubordinates?

How would you treat yourself?

How would you treat God?

How do you think God would treat you?

I've gotta tell you - I don't know where you are. I wish I did. Because if you're farther along than me, I want to know how God got you there. But if you've not made it to where I am yet, I really want to help you get closer, because trust me, it's amazing out here.

I really want you to know God. I don't want you to know Him the way I know Him - that's between me and Him. I want you to know Him the way He wants you to know Him. I want you to know Him intimately. I want you to know Him genuinely. I want you to know Him first.

I want you to be in Nature and see His design in such a way that you cannot help but be amazed with every single thing laid out before you.

I want you to be in church and know His people in such a way that you cannot help but be moved with joy and compassion for every single one of them, anxious to show them the same Love that God showed you, because you know that He loves them, too.

I want you to be in silence and hear His voice in such a way that you cannot help but understand that He has a plan for you, every single day, and that you can know that plan and follow that plan and feel the indescribable thrill that comes through seeing the power of God manifest itself in your life in ways that you know - that you know, beyond any shadow of a doubt - can only be a direct result of the work of God.

I want you to be there because I want you to feel what I'm feeling. I want you to know what I know. I want you to see what I see.

I want you to see it.

Some of you already do. And that's amazing. I love it. And you know when somebody's seeing the same thing as you. When it becomes the only thing you're really looking at, it becomes unmistakable when you meet someone else who gets it, someone else who is completely locked in on the same thing. There is a unity in the Spirit that is positively electric and impossible to miss.

I want you to see it.

There's a calm that comes with it. There's a sense of complete serenity in knowing - really, entirely, personally knowing - that your sins are all forgiven and all removed and all forgotten. There's a joy in knowing that you've got a direction in life that will make an impact on an eternal scale. There's a passion in knowing that God has a direct connection, a deep commitment, a holy investment in what YOU do, in where YOU go, in what YOU say, in who YOU are.

I want you to see it.

There's an understanding that comes to you in the Bible when you have God at the absolute center of your life, providing the Director's Commentary with everything you read. There's a sense of connection between everything you do, because all that is in your life is part of one grand symphony of praise, an orchestrated movement of hundreds of different parts to create one sweeping work, with ups and downs, highs and lows, forte and piano, lights and darks...

I want you to see it.

I want you to know what life is like when you finally take that step into the mystic with God. I want you to feel the exhilaration of giving up all control - ALL of it! - into God's hands and seeing where He leads you. I want you to feel the freedom that comes with fully immersing yourself into God's Spirit and living completely, completely, completely in line with His Will for you.

I want you to see it.

I want you to know what it's like to have a relationship with God that doesn't require anyone but you and God. I also want you to know what it's like to have a relationship with God that won't let you keep it just between you and God. I want you to know what it's like to talk to God like you're talking to your best friend, but I want you to know what it's like to talk to a complete stranger about God because you can't help but talk about Him.

I want you to see it.

Let us acknowledge the LORD;

let us press on to acknowledge Him.

As surely as the sun rises,

He will appear;

He will come to us like the winter rains,

like the spring rains that water the earth.

- Hosea 6:3

I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;

apart from you I have no good thing."

- Psalm 16:2

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

- Deuteronomy 6:4-5

I want you to see it.

I really, really want you to see it.

I want you to see Him.

Communion at Amberland

So I went to Amberland this past weekend.

If you're not familiar with Amberland - and I would imagine that's the case for almost all of you - it's a 3-day concert festival put on by one of my absolute favorite bands, Perpetual Groove. I ain't sayin' it'd be everybody's little slice of Heaven, but rest assured that I had an amazing time.

This was my first time at Amberland, which has been going on for eleven years now. There's a very familial atmosphere there. There are people who have been along for the ride since the beginning. I only heard of Perpetual Groove for the first time two years ago, when Ben and I went to Mulberry Mountain Harvest Music Festival. In that time, I've seen 6 PGroove shows... and then there was Amberland.

Mulberry Mountain is a lot of fun, because you can experience all these new bands - a new band just about every hour, if you're up for a lot of walking around - as well as a lot of bands you might already be familiar with. But there's no real focus for the weekend. There's just a kind of frenetic blur between sets and sounds.

But Amberland... That's a whole different thing. That's three days - three solid days - of just one band. And it was incredible. Absolutely incredible. They let everything out! The whole band just opened up with everything in them and poured it all out on the stage. I've seen some pretty impressive Perpetual Groove shows, but NOTHING was like Amberland. Saturday alone would have been worthwhile, but the whole weekend was just jaw-droppingly good. I promise there is somebody somewhere who's got some pictures of me with my chin resting on my chest in a stupor of absolute awe at everything that was happening to my ears.

SO good.

And here I was, jumping into this thing, this new experience, this new place full of people who already know each other, and I'm just trying to enjoy it the best way I know how. I'm wading out into this environment that is pretty far from the straight-laced life I normally live (well, OK, somewhat straight-laced life), full of hippies and tie-dye and funny smelling cigarettes...

And that was where I wanted to serve communion.

Mom baked up the bread for me, and I brought along some grape juice. I set it up on the edge of a table in our campsite and wrote out a note telling people to serve themselves, along with a little thought to hopefully direct them towards God. As the day went on, people trickled through. Some stopped to read and then walked on with a puzzled look on their faces. Some stopped and made conversation without partaking in anything. Some stopped and shared in the remembrance of Jesus Christ on their own. Some - a select few whom I felt the Spirit calling me to talk to - stopped and talked and then we took communion together.

The whole point I was trying to make with my little note to everyone is that the miracle of communion is in the togetherness of it. Just like we had all experienced the amazing show on Saturday together and we could all say "Oh, man, wasn't 'At the Screen' just epic? What about 'Playground'?" to each other and all know that we'd all heard the same thing, and that we'd all been taken to these amazing heights, riding on the waves of this incredible outpouring of music from a band that everybody there had decided was worth the trip, worth the money, worth the time to see... Just like we were ALL a part of Perpetual Groove at Amberland, so everyone who shared in the bread and the cup with me at that sloppy campsite on that beat up old table in the middle of a farm in La Fayette, Georgia, was a part of something bigger than any of us.

The communion - the Lord's Supper - that we shared that morning was the same communion shared by my parents and sister at West End church of Christ that morning. It was the same communion shared by the Christians in Brazil, China, Rwanda, England, Texas, and the rest of the world over. Even if it didn't happen at the same time, it all happened in one spirit. We were all connected - all of us, everywhere - by one single focus, one single goal, one single aim of remembering the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, the sacrifice that brings us all together, no matter where we were, no matter when it was, no matter what we were doing, no matter what kind of music we listen to...

It was enough to bring me (and a few others with me) to tears, and it was an experience that I don't see myself forgetting anytime soon. It made an impact that I hope I can carry with me for the rest of my life.

I thank God for filling me with the strength to put my faith out in public like that, in a place where faith is not at all everybody's primary focus. It meant a lot for me to see the people who were surprised - pleasantly surprised - to find that there was somebody around who was still focused enough on God to provide an opportunity for others to share in the movement towards holiness, even in a weekend completely cut off from reality.

It was big. It made me cry. I met people who I immediately knew I loved, not because of who they are - even though they are all wonderful people - but because I knew that they were another of God's children, and that my God has transformed my spirit into one of Love for all. I may not yet be perfect at it, but I'm a lot better than I was, and for that, I am incredibly thankful.

I serve an AWESOME God.

If you are interested in hearing some of what I heard that weekend at Amberland (and most of you will not be), you may go here. It's some 7 and 1/2 hours of music, and that might be intimidating, but really, there is no bad place to start.